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Clean Jokes

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Doctor Damage

I'll Lock Up
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4,324
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Ontario
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12,974
Location
Germany
In prenatal classes, all women come together for the first time, so they are welcomed heartfelt by the head course instructor.
After some smalltalk to break the ice, she's starting the first section of the course:

"The most important thing for the pregnant woman is it to BREATHE !"

The oldest pregnant lady:
"Oh WOW, tell me more of it, I didn't know that!!" :confused:
 
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12,017
Location
East of Los Angeles
A man makes his first trip to Chicago and visits the Navy Pier. He decides he wants to find out how long it is, so he measures one slat's width and the slit that separates the slats and figures, he can calculate the length of the pier by counting the slats and adding them up with the number of slits. So he begins walking out on the pier, counting the slits between the boards.

Unfortunately, he wasn't paying close attention and walked off the end of the pier after counting the last slit, tragically drowning in Lake Michigan.

The moral of the story?

"When you're out of slits, you're out of pier."

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