Attorneys and Barristers of the Lounge

[C-dot]

Which reminds me - where are the ladies?

I'm still here - One foot in the Powder Room.

There are a few girls who work in corrections, but I haven't met any in law [huh]

 

[Ephraim Tutt]

I'm still here - One foot in the Powder Room.

There are a few girls who work in corrections, but I haven't met any in law [huh]

And speaking of visual appeal - good to see you C-dot. Law does tend to attract a lot of women for which I will be forever grateful. We just need to attract a few more to this here Bar Association!

 

[Harp]

Well...

This is a two-cigar story so I'm gonna tell it in parts over our next few meetings. And by the way, Dear Mods, anything that I write that begins with, "...when I was a young ADA" is, as a matter of law, vintage.

Early on, when I was a young ADA, I learned that "discovery" and "direct examination" are often one and the same for a prosecutor.

Here’re the facts: A career criminal breaks into a neighborhood roadhouse by pulling off the building’s exterior siding and punching through the drywall. At opening time, the defendant is found by the bar’s owner…he’s unconscious in a pool of his own urine, face down behind the bar. The bar’s cash register has been moved to the floor, but nothing is missing from it. The defendant is in a state of utter intoxication…he’s absolutely hammered…but only one or two beers are missing from the bar’s cooler…that is, if the owner’s inventory is correct, and she’s not totally sure.

I’m trying the defendant for breaking and entry of a building, larceny and two counts of habitual felon. The defendant has raised a voluntary intoxication defense. No question about it…when the defendant was found, he was sufficiently intoxicated to lack the requisite intent. But when did he become intoxicated? Was it before the breaking or was it after he was inside the bar? Two thirty-year sentences hang on the answer…

AF

Res Ipsa Loquitor, Atticus. The defendant was plastered.

 

[C-dot]

I’m trying the defendant for breaking and entry of a building, larceny and two counts of habitual felon. The defendant has raised a voluntary intoxication defense. No question about it…when the defendant was found, he was sufficiently intoxicated to lack the requisite intent. But when did he become intoxicated? Was it before the breaking or was it after he was inside the bar? Two thirty-year sentences hang on the answer…

Can one or two beers make you that inebriated? Or is the owner's inventory extremely incorrect? If either of those possibilities are correct, they are certainly far-fetched... He must have been plastered when he broke in.

Does he remember any of the events in question?

 

[Harp]

... He must have been plastered when he broke in.

Does he remember any of the events in question?

...not if he has a good lawyer.

 

[C-dot]

...not if he has a good lawyer.

How true lol

 

[Ephraim Tutt]

The weekend is here so it's back to singing the praises of Aussie wine. For me, last night, it was a wonderful Henschke Euphonium - a blend of Shiraz, Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot. Perfect.

Incidently, the link of this wine to law is simply that I was given a bottle for speaking at a legal seminar. One of the speakers prior to myself specializes in commercial contracts and made the point that you can always tell an American contract because they are verbose and full of unnecessary legal jargon.

Windbaggery??!!

Say it aint so my American colleagues! And grab some Henschke sometime. Great vino.

 

[Spats McGee]

. . . .One of the speakers prior to myself specializes in commercial contracts and made the point that you can always tell an American contract because they are verbose and full of unnecessary legal jargon.

Windbaggery??!! . . . .

Say it aint so my American colleagues! And grab some Hensche sometime. . . . .

It ain't so. All that windbaggery is totally necessary.

Mrs. McGee and I have a bottle of Vertikal, a German Riesling, in the fridge for tonight. I'll have to grab some Hensche some other day, because it's Sunday in Arkansas. For those of you from other jurisdictions, that means no alcohol sales for off-premises consumption. Restaurants can still serve alcohol, but liquor stores are closed and grocery stores can't sell beer or wine, which is all they carry. Nonetheless, that's more liberal than the "blue laws" of my childhood. Under those, no alcohol or tools could be sold on Sunday. Hardware stores were closed and the aisles at the grocery store where pots & pans were sold were roped off.

 

[Ephraim Tutt]

You do have some quaint laws there Brother Spats.
Supermarkets in this state can't serve alcohol, but the bottle shops (off licences) owned by the supermarket chains can sell their booze right next door 7 days a week.
I'm not too sure God would be offended by such capitalism on Sundays. He's probably got his feet up with a decent barossa red and wouldn't even notice.
Cheers to you and Mrs Spats - and that German reisling.

 

[Spats McGee]

Liquor laws are an area of personal interest for me. Here are some variations that I've noticed:

In Nashville, Tennessee, grocery stores could sell beer & on Sundays. However, it was illegal (~1997-1998) for hard liquor to be sold in the same store as beer & wine. Accordingly, I remember one building that a beer & wine store on one side, and a liquor store on the other. One building, but divided down the middle. You had to go outside from one half to go into the other.

In Oklahoma City, probably around 1992, liquor stores were prohibited from having signage that had "liquor store" or "package store" on them. In fact the only signage they were permitted was a red dot, or many of them. So when you saw the red polka-dotted store, that was it! lol

 

[Ephraim Tutt]

Well Spats, I blame the Baptists. Morality as legislation is a sad and comedic thing.

So...why the personal interest in liquor laws?

 

[Spats McGee]

In part probably because I live in the South. The Southern Baptist is the 800-pound gorilla here, and I'm convinced that that's what drives a good deal of our alcohol-related legislation.

In part because I also used to be a waiter & bartender. I had to become at least a little familiar with whatever laws applied in the restaurant I was working in. There's lots and lots of variation in Arkansas, particularly on the local level. In Little Rock, virtually every non-fast-food restaurant in town serves beer, wine & liquor. In Fayetteville, Arkansas, you have to have a private club to serve liquor. When I was in college in Fayetteville, private clubs typically sold memberships for $5, but they gave all new members $5 gift certificates with the purchase of the membership . . .

 

[tortswon]

Pennsylvania Liquor

This is certainly an appropriate discussion for a "bar." I used to be a hearing examiner for the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board (LCB). In Pennsylvania, sales of all alcoholic beverages except beer are through a State Store system. There are no private purveyors of those products in Pennsylvania. Selection is limited to what the state stocks. Restaurants can special order by jumping through hoops.

The selection is very poor. Service is non-existent when it comes to getting advice on particular products. Only within the last ten years were any stores open on Sundays. Although illegal, Pennsylvanians flee to surrounding states to purchase liquor for use in Pennsylvania. The loss in taxes is enormous but the beat goes on because the system is so engrained.

Beer can be purchased privately in grocery stores. Ir can also be purchased at beer distributors in case lots.

Up until recently, Pennsylvania was the largest single purchaser of fine wines and spirits in the United States. It was recently eclipsed by Kosco. You would think that would mean great prices and selection. Instead, the same bottle of wine costs 25% more in Philadelphia than across the bridge in New Jersey. Best, Sam

To collegiality!

 

[Harp]

One of the speakers prior to myself specializes in commercial contracts and made the point that you can always tell an American contract because they are verbose and full of unnecessary legal jargon.

Windbaggery??!!

Say it aint so my American colleagues!

Nolo contendere.

 

[Atticus Finch]

Can one or two beers make you that inebriated? Or is the owner's inventory extremely incorrect? If either of those possibilities are correct, they are certainly far-fetched... He must have been plastered when he broke in.

Does he remember any of the events in question?

Hi C-dot and ALL,

Actually, I never finished the story. Totally unplanned by me, this is what came out in my in my case-in-chief:

After the defendant broke into the bar, he found an unlabeled jar of peppermint-flavored Pine Sol that the owner used to clean the bathrooms. Thinking it was peppermint schnapps, he drank it right down. Of course, it almost killed him. The officers responding to the B&E assumed that the defendant was extreamly drunk, but he was actually suffering from an almost mortal poisoning. When this fact was finally revealed, the central issue of the trial was answered. The defendant had been sober when he broke into the building...hence, he had no voluntary intoxication defense.

When the Pine Sol story came out, I moved to recess so that I could subpoena a toxicologist. The next day the defendant's lawyer came to my office and offered to plead to one count of habitual felon in exchange for my dismissal of the second count. I took the offer, and the defendant withdrew his not guilty plea...he remains in prison, today.

And that, as Paul Harvey used to say, is the rest of the story.

AF

 

[C-dot]

When the Pine Sol story came out, I moved to recess so that I could subpoena a toxicologist. The next day the defendant's lawyer came to my office and offered to plead to one count of habitual felon in exchange for my dismissal of the second count. I took the offer, and the defendant withdrew his not guilty plea...he remains in prison, today.

Well done! :eusa_clap

 

[Spats McGee]

Wearing my apparently-not-as-vintage-as-the-seller-claimed Stetson Open Road.

​

 

[Ephraim Tutt]

Well now brother Spats - an 80's era Open Road is still pushing a quarter of a century or more of noggin riding.

And it looks fabulous on yours my friend. I do like those Open Roads and am looking forward to mine arriving.

 

[Spats McGee]

Don't get me wrong, Ephraim. Even if it's not as old as claimed, I'm still pleased with the hat. I'd still like to get an even older one, as soon as I can convince Mrs. McGee that it's justified. It took me a while to decide if I liked ORs, but I have decided that I do. I suspect that you're really going to like yours.

 

[carouselvic]

conundrum

Last night while strolling through the local cemetery, I saw an unusual grave stone. Written on the grave stone was the words "Here lies a lawyer and an honest man". I didn't know they were allowed to bury two people in one grave. TLH