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Are you ugly 'cause yer mad or are ya mad 'cause yer ugly?

StraightRazor

Familiar Face
Messages
65
Location
Northwest Ohio
Do you think its true that some people just plain dont look good in hats? My girlfriend can plunk anything onto her head and look like a cherry tomato, but she swears she's never seen me in a hat she thought I looked good in. I'm waiting for my 1st Adventurebilt and the only other hat I've ever had was a Stetson Temple, that she called my 'cowboy' hat. Dames...:rolleyes: I just have a big head, (7 3/4), so most hats, OSFA beret's, caps, ect. look rediculously small on me. Do I just need to find the 'right' hat, or am I doomed to look like a schmuck forever? Did fella's in the golden days have this problem? Imagine being stuck in the 30's-40's and looking bad in a hat!
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,392
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
Nope

It's all in getting the right brim width, crown height and shape to match your face shape, build, height, weight, etc. There's a hat that's right for every face.
Sinatra looked good in stingies. When men copied him, they looked like stooges. Maybe it hastened the end of regular fedora wearing?
 

CasaBlancaChuck

Familiar Face
Messages
50
Rules of "Thumb"

I have always been curious as to general hat characteristic rules (shape, crown, brim, etc.) as applied to the individual person's characteristics (height, weight, head and face shape). What hat goes with what, (or whom)? What about hat color to best match a person's complexion, hair color etc.?
 

J.B.

Practically Family
Messages
677
Location
Hollywood
StraightRazor said:
..........she swears she's never seen me in a hat she thought I looked good in. I'm waiting for my 1st Adventurebilt and the only other hat I've ever had was a Stetson Temple, that she called my 'cowboy' hat. Dames...:rolleyes:

Saaaay, those are two great hats!! There is absolutely no way you could look "bad" in that pending Adventurebilt! (and most likely the Temple, too.) I want an Adventurebilt so bad I'm actually auto-suggesting that I own one...:D

StraightRazor said:
Do I just need to find the 'right' hat,

No. You just need to find the right woman! :D :cheers1: Imagine. Doesn't know the diff tween a Temple and a cowboy hat?! :rage: Geesh!

StraightRazor said:
Did fella's in the golden days have this problem?

No. Their motto in those days was: "Mess wid my Temple -- I give you da :kick:!"
 

vespasian

One of the Regulars
Messages
175
Location
Kent, UK
We need to get something straight here. Youve asked for your partners opinion and she gave it. Doesnt mean its right.

I have been wearing hats for some years, on and off. I first met my wife when I was wearing a borsalino with a 2 3/4in brim, a self made ribbon. We married a couple of years later and I had worn that hat quite a few times after. I didnt ask her opinion and she didnt give it.

A few years later I dug the hat out and started wearing it in bad weather. Suddenly she had an opinion of me in the hat. She actually bought me a wool cap and said I looked good in it. A few months ago I bought a nice grey trilby and started wearing it with suits, as I did long before I and the wife met. Well she doesnt like it, she cant say why, just that she doesnt. When a major discussion comes along she says, "Ive changed." "I care too much about my appearance." Yet she continues to accesorise everything she wears even down to the handbag. Of course I care, who doesnt?

Answer, subconcious threat. It isnt the hat, its that I am noticed in it. She doesnt mind the wool cap because others wear them.

I think the answer for you is that YOU have to find a hat YOU like and are comfortable with. Now there is a middle ground; I want my wife to find me attractive, but I also have to keep a little bit of me in there otherwise I might as well let her pick and choose everything I wear, which wouldnt be the original me, and lets face it, women do like to change us, we just dont have to go along with it. She says you dont look good in any hat. I venture the opinion that without knowing it she might have decided in her subconcious that she doesnt want you in a hat because it draws attention and women do like guys who are a bit different. (partners dont) My advice is dont get into arguements about it, hats arent as important as partners in any way shape or form. Try some hats, get a few opinions, wear it and accept that your g/f will eventually accept it but may never profess adoration. I still wear hats, my wife doesnt like them, were still together and as happy as we ever were and all is well with the world.

(oh and dont be so sure women look good in any hat. Your looking at the woman, not the hat. Other women will look at the hat and they wont all like it, but women dont say that to anyones face as there are more true ladies out there than true gentlemen.)

I remember a time when I worked as an air steward with hundreds of women (little boy in a sweetie shop comes to mind). Anyway I remember one businessman in red striped shirt and red braces who the girls all took the mickey out of behind his back making not very nice comments in the galley about his braces. Lo and behold half of them when they served him fawned over him and it became quite obvious that they fancied him something terrible. Work that one out.
Also the women were all so lovely to each others faces, ooh I love your makeup, youve got lovely hair, etc. Then backs were turned and faces were pulled at the very thing they had just congratulated each other on. Dont look for logic, it isnt there.
 

Tudor

Familiar Face
Messages
61
Location
Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA
People do not like what they are not used to seeing. When I started to wear a fedora my wife did not care much for the look. But now that it has been a while (little over a year) she thinks I look "different" without a hat. Additionally, she is becoming a hat snob just like me. She believes that my vintage fedoras look better on me than my stiffer late model hats do. Give your girl-friend time.
 

chilidawgguy

New in Town
Messages
33
Location
virgina
Fellas...I've been married to the same woman for 37 years, and I've only learned two things: Sometimes you can't live with them, and you can't shoot 'em either. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Cheers!
 

vespasian

One of the Regulars
Messages
175
Location
Kent, UK
Thanks for the comments guys. I hope it doesnt sound too bolshie, its not meant to. Just that in my experience partners dont like change, its a bit of a threat, also there are many other people out there who will take the michael out of your hat but if suddenly everyone was expected to wear one they would ponce about in the nicest they could find, proclaiming to the world that theyve just got the best adidas fedora, or Nike trilby. Time really will tell with partners. Just let time take its course, dont get annoyed when she (or he) says, "I dont like it." Just gracefully acknowledge it and then keep wearing it. My wife is adamant that she will never like my fedoras. We shall see......
 

PeeWee

One of the Regulars
Messages
209
Location
North Carolina
I've been wearing my new hats for just a few months now. My wife claims she'll never get use to a fedora. That's what she said about my bowties :)
 

Burma Shave

One of the Regulars
Messages
156
Location
Columbia SC
My wife never liked my fedoras...

...but we're divorced now. Seriously, she said they "make me look like an old man." Ends up, she viewed me as an old man and wanted me to be more like guys her age. When we married, I was 29 and she was 22. Huge age difference, huh?

In the end, her drive was to change anything about me that made me stand out -- no suits to go to the movies, no bow ties, no fedoras.

And believe it or not, while I could take her jabs at my sartorial choices, it acually was her constant nit-picking and criticism that led to our divorce last year. It started with the clothes and progressed to my hobbies and job and ... you get the picture.

This is not to say that if a woman criticizes your hat, she wants to rule your life. A good lady friend of mine doesn't like me in a cowboy hat (of which I have only one) but likes my panama and my fedoras and my newsboys. Guess what? I really don't look good in a cowboy hat! It's a matter of knowing when a woman is negative because she doesn't like the hat, and when she's negative because she doesn't like the person in the hat.
 
Messages
11,579
Location
Covina, Califonia 91722
The hat is merely a symptom of something deeper and much more sinister.

vespasian said:
Answer, subconcious threat. It isnt the hat, its that I am noticed in it. Dont look for logic, it isnt there.
*****
Women can often be jealous of inanimate objects, of anything that occupies your time, or takes away from them. Cars, Guitars, Stereos, Sporting goods, old college T-shirts, anything perceived as a rival. A woman can get jealous when you doing a tune up on the car, practice a musical instrument or have any "fun" without them. A woman can spend all day at the hairdressers talking with friends yet make it out to be some sort of ordeal she endured "for you."

Not all women are like that, but sometimes you have to ask some soul searching questions. I call it estrogen psychosis sometimes, you get nailed outta da blue, and get yelled at because you didn't see it coming. Is it strictly personality, genetics, internal wiring or hormonal or some mad scientist blend of all these elements?
 

photobyalan

A-List Customer
And now back to our regular program...

StraightRazor, the best advice I can give you is to go to a hatter who knows what he's doing. That should be easy for you since you are in NW Ohio. Chicago is a day trip away and you can go to Optimo Hats. I'm sure Graham and his staff can get you into a hat that looks good on you and fits you properly. Back in the days when hats were mainstream, hatters were everywhere, there were many hat styles and colors from which to choose and the hatter was usually very helpful in getting a man into a hat that looked really good on him. It was (and still is) good business for the hatter because he developed a relationship with the customer, built trust, and got repeat business. I think a real hatter can solve your problem.

If you don't want to go to that much trouble, post a few photos of yourself in different hats and ask for advice here. There are plenty willing to give it and it's usually good.
 

StraightRazor

Familiar Face
Messages
65
Location
Northwest Ohio
Women can often be jealous of inanimate objects, of anything that occupies your time, or takes away from them. Cars, Guitars, Stereos, Sporting goods, old college T-shirts, anything perceived as a rival. A woman can get jealous when you doing a tune up on the car, practice a musical instrument or have any "fun" without them. A woman can spend all day at the hairdressers talking with friends yet make it out to be some sort of ordeal she endured "for you."

Sheesh. Things arent that bad between us, yet. We've been together 6 years and have a 2 year old daughter, so I dont see us splitting up over hats anytime soon. The only really serious diversion, time spent away from her, is my illustration time. Sometimes I need to be left alone to finish a drawing, and she is almost always the one telling me to finish it anyway! She knows I'm a professional and its what I need to do, so she's fine with it. The only time I get static is when I use Playboy newstand specials for anatomy drawing. "Would you rather have me hire a live model to pose nude for me?" Most of the time she is nagging me because I dont want to go do things on my own. She is always hinting that I should spend more time with 'the guys'. I'm not interested in going out every night without her. Sometimes that drives her nuts. She doesnt really get 'jealous' over 'stuff'. She bought me my Flight Suits Expedition, which cost a pretty penny. And she knows that if I have the money, I can spend it on a $250 Adventurebilt if I want to. I spend an equal amount of money on her. Men complain about women carrying nice purses, but I dont see the big deal. I've bought her 2 Coach purses each costing over $300. If the roles were switched, and men suddenly carried purses, you can bet guys like us would want the nicest purses out there! And Coach purses and incredibly well made. Top quality leather, and precise stitching. Everything we look for in a jacket. My point is...Whats my point?

My point was, she just doesnt think I look good in hats. She's not on some estrogen fueled rampage trying to stomp on my manhood! She's not trying to 'control' me, far from it. I dont really take her opinion that seriously, I was just wondering if maybe she was onto something I wasnt able to see. Thats all. I'm not about to allow her to stop me from wearing a fedora if I want to.

Seeing a professional hatter is a good idea. I dont think there are any in Toledo, so Detroit or Chicago is probably my only answer, like you said. But, if my Fortune and Glory comes out as nice as everyone has told me it will, Steve will become my hatter. Indy Magnoli is now my personal tailor, whether he knows it or not! I have 2 of his adventure shirts, (by the way, my girlfriend calls these my 'Captain Crunch' shirts because of the epaulettes!), and they are magnificent. :cool:
 

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