Anniversary

[GHT]

lol... good thing you added that last line!

Now that is definitely the words of a wife! Do you do finger wagging, or, how about hands on hips?

 

[sheeplady]

Now that is definitely the words of a wife! Do you do finger wagging, or, how about hands on hips?

Hands on hips. Followed by shaking of the head and crossing of arms over the chest.

Actually, the shaking of the head and the crossing of arms is when I know he's not going to follow my "advice." By which I mean wifely advice, otherwise known as orders.

He's really good at trying to tune me out. I say try, because he's never quite managed to ignore me. But he's a little trooper about it... turning the TV up a little bit, trying to change the subject... Never works. But he keeps trying.

Maybe he deserves a medal too.

 

[GHT]

Hands on hips. Followed by shaking of the head and crossing of arms over the chest.
Actually, the shaking of the head and the crossing of arms is when I know he's not going to follow my "advice." By which I mean wifely advice, otherwise known as orders.

Ah, I see that you missed out the tapping of the foot, and just one or two other wifely essentials: such as:

ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it.

FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of "those" arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING: This means "something" and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine", and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sigh" means that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead". At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "you're welcome".

THANKS A LOT: This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing".

 

[sheeplady]

Ah, I see that you missed out the tapping of the foot, and just one or two other wifely essentials: such as:

ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it.

FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of "those" arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING: This means "something" and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine", and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sigh" means that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead". At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doi
ng whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "you're welcome".

THANKS A LOT: This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing".

Although worst is "GO AHEAD, YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DO WHAT YOU WANT." This means you're an idiot, going to make a stupid mistake that she can see 50 miles away on a cloudy foggy night, and come crawling back to get told "I told you so." Also, you're being so dumb that not only do you not know that what you want to do is dumb, you're too dumb to have her explain it to you for the 500th time.

The "GO AHEAD, YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DO WHAT YOU WANT" is equally applicable in situations as far reaching as home repair, nights out with the boys, and having that fifth beer or extra large serving of nachos. Note that the vast majority of these situations typically end in you being physically damaged in some way (often with tears, sometimes necessitating a trip to a hospital). If you complain after undertaking these dimwitted actions, you will only enforce the wife's (apparently worthy) feelings of superior intelligence.

 

[GHT]

Fine!

 

[sheeplady]

fine!

sigh.

 

[dh66]

Congrats!!!!Hope you guys see many more.

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Thanks everyone!