A Classic Boys From Marketing Pitch

[V.C. Brunswick]

I've never been more convinced that I need splinterless toilet paper. What next? Non-shatter toilet seats? Non-exploding soap? Bleach-free toothpaste!? You Americans have it all

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We don't have a bidet.

 

[Eddie Derbyshire]

Haha! Porcelain cat beds indeed?

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[Eddie Derbyshire]

We try. In prosperous countries we tend to have everything we want:

Haha has your inflation got so bad you wipe your bum with your currency?

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[lolly_loisides]

^^^^^^^^^ Very droll Mr Derbyshire
Here's how you stop the spread of bolshevism……

 

[Eddie Derbyshire]

^^^^^^^^^ Very droll Mr Derbyshire
Here's how you stop the spread of bolshevism……
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Haha! That's hilarious. And strangely enough exactly what turned me to Bolshevism. 'Workers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but the splinters in your fingers and scratches on your bum!'. Emotive stuff, y'know

 

[LizzieMaine]

Come the revolution, the promise of the 1930s will at last be fulfilled.

 

[Eddie Derbyshire]

Come the revolution, the promise of the 1930s will at last be fulfilled.

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Well her in that advert looks like a Red if ever I saw one! Another convert to the cause for Better Ablution!

 

[sheeplady]

Come the revolution, the promise of the 1930s will at last be fulfilled.

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Sometimes I wonder how we survived this long as a race without being killed off by poor hygiene.

I imagine splintered toilet paper killed off a few people too.

 

[Eddie Derbyshire]

Sometimes I wonder how we survived this long as a race without being killed off by poor hygiene.

I imagine splintered toilet paper killed off a few people too.

What a way to go! Who's going to write that obituary?

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[LizzieMaine]

That splintery ad, by the way, won the Worst Ad of 1938 award from Consumers' Union, an organization founded in 1936 specifically to knock the pins out from under the Boys From Marketing. It continues that fine work today.

 

[Stanley Doble]

Joking aside, millions have died from poor hygiene and continue to do so today. If the Boys from Marketing are responsible for making the population healthier and less smelly maybe they aren't all bad.

 

[jamespowers]

Joking aside, millions have died from poor hygiene and continue to do so today. If the Boys from Marketing are responsible for making the population healthier and less smelly maybe they aren't all bad.

Less smelly! :rofl:
Agreed!

 

[LizzieMaine]

Judging from all the fat smelly tourists I see plumping around the streets this afternoon wearing designer t-shirts and carrying high-end bags, health and hygiene are the least of the Boys' current concerns.

 

[ChiTownScion]

That splintery ad, by the way, won the Worst Ad of 1938 award from Consumers' Union, an organization founded in 1936 specifically to knock the pins out from under the Boys From Marketing. It continues that fine work today.

Free association time: Ever hear of an early kids' television host named Shirley Dimsdale? She had a ventriloquist's dummy named "Judy Splinters." Judy was a cowgirl type character, and I don't think that bathroom tissue had anything to do with the show.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Yep, she started in ventriloquism as a kid in the thirties, around the time Charlie McCarthy was a fad, and dabbled a bit in radio herself before going into TV in the late 40s. Later retired from show biz to become a doctor, of all things. I don't believe she was ever sponsored by a toilet paper firm.

I did, speaking of which, finally remember the brand name of the splintery cheap paper we had at the gas station. It was called "Mosinee," the same company that manufactured those cheap red paper multifold towels for the windshield-washer dispenser.

 

[jamespowers]

Judging from all the fat smelly tourists I see plumping around the streets this afternoon wearing designer t-shirts and carrying high-end bags, health and hygiene are the least of the Boys' current concerns.

That goes to show you that the 60s were worse than any marketing anyone could have done.

 

[Stanley Doble]

She's not talking about the sixties.

 

[jamespowers]

She's not talking about the sixties.

That is when it started though. The great Smell Out......

 

[LizzieMaine]

The smell that gets me is that unmistakable blending of cologne and nicotine. Catch a whiff of that, and I start to retch.

 

[jamespowers]

The smell that gets me is that unmistakable blending of cologne and nicotine. Catch a whiff of that, and I start to retch.

Hmmm.... I think you have something there. Nicotine cologne. I can see that selling---with the right marketing of course.