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Your most romantic gesture?

maintcoder

A-List Customer
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320
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WA
The resolution to the cliffhanger

Per your request, Lady Day...

Well, my friend's husband greeted her quite coldly when she arrived and the rest of the week she was there was nothing short of a disaster. The romantic gesture of her flying to be with him on the spur of the moment to put their relationship as the most important thing in her life was lost on him and the marriage failed soon afterward. Unfortunately, he never understood the magnitude of her gesture until someone else explained it to him months later. By that time, it was too late...
 

Lauren

Distinguished Service Award
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5,060
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Sunny California
Strider said:
I live in California. Romance is dead here. I've never recieved such gestures, and as such, I haven't given them, either. Don't suppose I ever will, either.

Bohemia, Bohemia is a fallacy in your head .. this is Calcutta. Bohemia is dead.

I have lived in California my whole life and have had a great many romantic moments. I think it really depends on what you consider romance- but doesn't discount something that is romantic for someone else. There are different ways people view romance, like all things, so saying it doesn't exist may be true for you but is not true for others. And just becuase people don't comment on something doesn't mean they have not read and processed what you have written. It is all just a matter of opinion on all sides. .
 

Strider

One of the Regulars
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255
Location
.
Without a reply, what is the point of a forum? Oh well, semantics, I guess. Some people will just choose to ignore you and tell themselves they are good, while others won't.
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,392
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Small Town Ohio, USA
.

Now don't get your tinsel tangled, Strider. No need to take offense. Your post didn't require a reply. This is a thread about being all gooey over romance. You don't believe in romance, decline to participate in romance, and believe romance to be dead in your locale. What's to reply?










.
 

Lady Day

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
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9,087
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Crummy town, USA
Strider said:
Yay. Rudeness is so fun!


Oh Strider,

My comment was not to be rude in the least. I thought YOU were commenting on my reply to our dear friend Maintcoder. See? This is how typing can be taken out of context and misinterpreted. So the lesson of this tale, dont take it to heart!

Take a deep breath, have some hot cocoa and relax. :)

LD
 

DancingSweetie

A-List Customer
Messages
366
Location
Sacramento
Strider said:
I live in California. Romance is dead here. I've never recieved such gestures, and as such, I haven't given them, either. Don't suppose I ever will, either.

Bohemia, Bohemia is a fallacy in your head .. this is Calcutta. Bohemia is dead.

I've never received these either, but I have seen others around me on the receiving end of romantic gestures, so I don't think it's necessarily a CA thing.
 

Hondo

One Too Many
Messages
1,655
Location
Northern California
Great story Daisy, real sweet. some guys got bucks to throw around, but my question is how did he get into your home, apartment to leave those clues in your room? I’m glad it all worked out but that’s going too far.
Romance dead in California you are not joking, I know this women over the years from work, she wasn’t beautiful or the glamorous type she was thin, lightly dark skin, talented smart as a whistle and she has the most amazing brown eyes, I swear bewitching, she had me under her spell, I mean anything she asked me, I’d do it if I could. (Except murder and robbery) even if I did it wrong, I’d try for her. Over the years I knew she was seeing other guys, so I kept quiet about my feeling and just be cool co-workers, she even got married, just last year she got a divorce and I made my move.
We started to really just cook’n, spent many free time together, She started redoing my desk; clean up, I am not organized and leave a mess! I took her to lunch a number of times, bought her flowers when she was sick (delivered to her desk), small gifts (birthday, valentines day) and things were going so well in a 6 short months, she made me feel like a high school kid with a crush! I told her how I felt one day and she sent this really office type email saying she wants “No Romance” but she still wants to be around me, she even told me she is Bi-sexual! I think I have lost my mind, I mean after all I did, she now tells me this, I told her I didn’t want to get over emotional at my age but why lead me on so long? She couldn’t give me answer other than put her finger to my lips as if to say “Shhhh…. Darling” and walked away.
I swear she has this bewitching power or spell on me, I can’t get upset at her, she drives me wild, I try to avoid her and soon she’ll walk by my desk and say “Oh Hello!” How are you, have a nice weekend? like nothing has gone wrong. has any one else had this or am I in a nut class?
What’s a matter with women these days, bi-sexuals? Quick some one point me towards the window to jump from before Christmas gets here.
Excuse me for venting, What do they say, back to the drawing board? :eusa_doh:
I'm fine, life has some silly pit falls, we all learn the hard way.
Romance?
 

Matt Deckard

Man of Action
Messages
10,045
Location
A devout capitalist in Los Angeles CA.
Lady Day said:
I was watching a whole lot of old movies while getting over a cold and got lost in the old art of romance. So, what had been your most romantic gesture? Not the most grand per say, but the one that got their attention, or the one you remember getting that just swept you away.

Im simple, and for me, it was the way this fella took my arm as we walked down the street. Simple sweet and charming.

So anyone else wish to share?

LD

I haven't had the romantic gesture put toward me as of yet. This is a bit more a question of the personel type. I guess I've given many times over in flowers and chocolates and CDs and many other ways, some romantic gestures some as tokens of friendship.

I have had many shared experiences of the heart. Some songs still make me feel with the rememberance of shared expereinces. Romance is still out there and there are still those who will fight for the one they love. Most romantic gesture I have seen I don't know.

I spend alot of time alone. I want to spend alot of time alone.

As for the question of Romance. It still exists. It's in my heart.
 

maintcoder

A-List Customer
Messages
320
Location
WA
Lauren Henline said:
... I think it really depends on what you consider romance- but doesn't discount something that is romantic for someone else. There are different ways people view romance, like all things, so saying it doesn't exist may be true for you but is not true for others. ...

Exactly... I believe romance, like beauty, is in the eye (and heart) of the beholder. For me, I find having my sweetheart bring me half an apple fritter on Fridays for 'Fritter Friday' extremely romantic. It is a sweet (pun intended ;) ), thoughtful action that tells me she is thinking about me. It doesn't have to be extravagant or expensive, but it should always be heartfelt.
 

Trickeration

Practically Family
Messages
548
Location
Back in Long Beach, Ca. At last!
I think the gestures that let you know you were thought of, loved, missed, are really special. Whether planned or not, it's when the moment is honest and pure, and as Miss Queenie said, "natural", that it seems truely romantic.

I also agree with her term "packaged" romantic gestures. To me they often seem kind of impersonal. Or they're over-dramatic show. There's a difference between a guy who is sentimental or romantic, and a guy who wants to show you how sentimental or romantic he is. Just my opinion.

Anyway, here are two special moments that I'll never forget. And they really are little things. One involves my husband and is sort of silly. The other was actually a gesture made by one of our trumpet players, Eric. So here we go..
My husband:
When my dad was sick, we would to drive to my parents house every weekend. This meant eating a lot of road food, and junk we bought when we stopped to buy gas. My husband was disgusted because I'd always buy a Slim Jim for the trip. I know, they're gross, artificial, and greasy, but they were a change from the chips and bags of candy Rob would buy to keep awake on the drive home. Anyway, every week, for almost 3 months, he'd complain about how awful they were. Our anniversary was just over a month after my dad passed away. That morning he got ready for work and before he left he handed me a card and small gift bag. He said "This is only part of your present, I'll give you the real one tonight". In the bag was a box Slim Jims. I know it's funny, but you kind of have to know how my husband thinks to understand. The Slim Jims were his way of saying, "It doesn't matter what I think. I just want you to be happy". I don't remember what the other present was.
Eric:
A few months ago, I was getting ready to go out with my husband and watch his band play. Just before we left, we got call from the singer of his band saying that she was going to stay home because she'd just found out that she had cancer. We went on to the show and it was just so depressing watching the band set up with out Mel there. Especially when I also had another friend in the middle of chemo at that time, too. I wasn't really paying much attention to anything, until I heard someone say "If it's okay with you, I'm going to go cheer up you wife". I looked up and saw Eric walking toward my booth. He didn't say anything to me, he just lifted up his trumpet and played "A Kiss To Build A Dream On", right to me, in front of the whole room. He had no idea it's one of my favorite songs. Then he just said, "I've been working on that song for a little while", and smiled.

To finish,
Rob and I will be married 17 years in March :D .
Melissa finishes radiation soon and her prognosis is excellent :D :D .
Eric loves and plays vintage music, plays harold trumpet at Renn Faires and, last time I checked, was still single :D :D :D .
 

Naama

Practically Family
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667
Location
Vienna
Hondo said:
What’s a matter with women these days, bi-sexuals? Quick some one point me towards the window to jump from before Christmas gets here.


You know, it could be worse! Ther was this guy, I really had a crush on, and the first time a friend of mine took me too a gay club, guess who I met? It was the biggest shock of all times! But now, somehow, I can laugh about it..... or can I? :eek:


Naama
 

Hondo

One Too Many
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1,655
Location
Northern California
Naama said:
You know, it could be worse! Ther was this guy, I really had a crush on, and the first time a friend of mine took me too a gay club, guess who I met? It was the biggest shock of all times! But now, somehow, I can laugh about it..... or can I? :eek:


Naama

I would laugh, I used to live in San Francisco and its funny tolook back on when I think about it, I no longer look this way any more, I used to get looks, pinched on the ass from lesbians when I was in my late twentys, they would flirting with me, I knew they were only playing, so nothing taken seriously. I don’t have any homophobias; I’m as straight as an arrow, I made that known. Well I’m at a age these days where I don’t let my emotions get in the way (angry) it’s just a waste of energy, I’m just extremely disappointed because I placed trust above all, (also spent bucks) but she bursting out the “no sex’ thing, I never said anything about sex, but only building a relationship, time spent together and if not, well simply move on, I still like or love this gal, she knows it, I also know her girlfriend but don’t see any relationship (at least from my point of view) is this just a girl-girl thing, friends? I don’t understand, its weird, I can accept her and this “bi-sexual” thing if she had said from the start. For some reason she is afraid of using (speaking) the word “love” maybe has good reason but she could at least tell me to avoid embarrassment on my part, I hate feeling used, she did say she was sorry if she hurt my feelings (duh…) and she still wants to “hang” with me, of course non-sexual.
I have only one question with this is why? Still I told her we’ll play it by ear, maybe she will maybe she won’t change her mind.
Getting back on topic, I do like being romantic, dating seems to be so out of date, every one is expecting something in the end after a free meal, I’ve never known a woman say “Hey buster, I’ll pay that tab!” I simply do nice things so that person knows someone cares, or is thinking about her. I used to place a single rose on some past girlfriends car, or leaving snacks (health bars), with post-it notes saying “Have a great day!” with no name on them, I also enjoy giving gifts, birthdays, valentines or whatever, it depends.
I know many females who are interest, but I dislike giving false impressions, so I keep it strictly friendly. I am just taking each day one at a time and enjoy life and living.
Let others waste energy on false dreams, if you’re not honest its bye bye baby.
But… not with this gal, I’ll still give her time, but should someone else catch my eye, it’s her loss and she knows that.
 

olive bleu

One Too Many
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1,667
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Nova Scotia
not to confuse romance with chivalry, but here is a lovely story that still makes me smile...about 10 years ago, i was living in montreal, quebec.One cold winter day i stepped out to do some banking. after i left the bank, i had walked about 2 blocks when i realized that i had lost my gloves. I went back to the teller but she had not seen them . AS iwas leaving the building a man i had never seen approached me & said that he had overheard me talking to the teller and heard that i had lost my gloves. He offered to walk me home. well, first of all, my street smarts kicked in and i refused. he said it was a cold day and it was no problem and insisted. As he was handsome,dapper and french, I gave in and the lovely man gave me his gloves to wear and walked with me all the way back home ,which was about 10 blocks.we made small talk, but in the back of my mind, all i could think was, " i am about to be murdered".when we reached my house i handed him back his gloves and thanked him profusely. he smiled, said it had been his pleasure, and walked away. i never saw that man again, but as long as men like that exist in this world, i will be a hopeless romantic.
 

Nashoba

One Too Many
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1,384
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Nasvhille, TN & Memphis, TN
My husband is one of the most unromantic jarheads I've ever met but he has managed to pull off a few sweet and romantic moments and gestures, some purely by accident.
This one is going to sound silly but
I have a fear of being alone at night that stems from some very bad things that happened to me in high school, I actually have a really hard time sleeping on the first floor by myself because of it which is partly why we have a 2 story house and a very large dog. Anyway, when we were dating he used to "tuck" me in at night with a teddy bear and I used to try to get him to stay longer by asking him to tell me a story. This evolved into him buying a few childrens books and reading me stories at night. One summer he was going to be gone for training with the Corps for a while and I was aprehensive about it. When he left I found a couple of tapes on my dresser that he had left for me. He had recorded all of the stories that he would read to me complete with instructions to me to crawl into bed and make sure I had my bear...it was sweet. I still have those tapes, they helped get me through his first tour in Iraq when I hadn't heard his voice in a while. He also gave me a new bear right before he deployed that had a voice chip in it. He had recorded good night I love you.
I guess I'm going to have to dig out those tapes since he's leaving next week, hopefully they'll get me through this deployment too...
 

Hondo

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Northern California
Thanks!

I just want to say Thanks! to every one for your comments on Romantic Gestures. I believe I got side tracked with femme fatales. Your stories give me some ideas, next time the old heart starts up for romance (Do I hear Pep?© Le Pew with all the qualities of a great lover?) I know its kind of personal to share such stores, but we all can laugh and learn from experiences. They say the heart is a lonely hunter.
I sincerely thank each and everyone of you.
Best regards :eusa_clap
 

MissMissy

One of the Regulars
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101
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The sticks
When my husband opens the door for me he puts his hand on the small of my back and guides me through the doorway. We have been together for 7 years now and he still does this, I hope he never stops. :)
 

maintcoder

A-List Customer
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WA
You're welcome, Hondo

Hondo said:
I just want to say Thanks! to every one for your comments on Romantic Gestures. I believe I got side tracked with femme fatales. Your stories give me some ideas, next time the old heart starts up for romance (Do I hear Pep?© Le Pew with all the qualities of a great lover?) I know its kind of personal to share such stores, but we all can laugh and learn from experiences. They say the heart is a lonely hunter.
I sincerely thank each and everyone of you.
Best regards :eusa_clap

I would just like to add that romance is in making an effort, whether it is simple or extravagant, to make the other person feel special. Some romantic things are givens - like opening doors, walking on the street side of the sidewalk, etc - and the other special romantic gestures just happen as a part of life. All I can say is go with your gut instinct and don't over-analyze. Better to be a fool (or made a fool) in love than never to have experienced it.

Also, in my experience, romantic gestures are their own reward - just like taking the high road in a difficult situation. You will only be disappointed if you seek recompense for your romantic deeds...
 

Hondo

One Too Many
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Northern California
Thanks for all the kind words of wisdom, there’s just one big stumbling block and that her being bi-sexual. This has me scratching my head [huh] , we do not date but we do go places, like going out for lunch and for example staying at hotel casinos, separate beds, still she’s a great companion.
Bi-sexual is a strange word, for now I don’t mind, it could mean anything, I’ll back off, give her room and time to think, in the mean time nothing wrong with being friends, I just want to hear some words of encouragement, some people find actions easier than spoken words.
I’ll fly by the seat of my pants for now, Thanks.
 

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