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You know you are getting old when:

dnjan

One Too Many
Messages
1,690
Location
Seattle
I used to have regular haircuts and kept my hair medium length.
In my mid-50's, I decided I was approaching a "zero-sum-game". Soon I would be loosing hair as fast as it grew. So I decided to grow my hair out, and just go for annual trims.
And I understand other men who are 50+ and have long hair.
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,797
Location
New Forest
Soon I would be loosing hair as fast as it grew. So I decided to grow my hair out, and just go for annual trims.
And I understand other men who are 50+ and have long hair.
That conjures up the image of Christopher Lloyd portraying: Emmett "Doc" Brown, in: Back To The Future.
 
Messages
12,018
Location
East of Los Angeles
I used to have regular haircuts and kept my hair medium length.
In my mid-50's, I decided I was approaching a "zero-sum-game". Soon I would be loosing hair as fast as it grew. So I decided to grow my hair out, and just go for annual trims.
And I understand other men who are 50+ and have long hair.
This reminds me of a comedy routine by Gallagher about losing his hair:

"I don't wash it. It's going to fall out anyway, it can take the dirt with it. I don't comb it either; I figure the tangles are holding half of it in."
 

Stearmen

I'll Lock Up
Messages
7,202
When you watch all the impatient people around you, and all you can think is, "hurry up now, don't want to be late to your own funeral!"
 

2jakes

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
sv2txv.png
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,797
Location
New Forest
The only hash that I have ever known describes both a colour and a vegetable. Hash browns.
The only troll that I have ever known are a sort of doll, native of Norway.
I don't know what an app is, nor do I know how to go about getting one. That nugget I share with you because I have a smart phone, courtesy of my brother, with whom I am in business with. We only need to phone each other, our employees and our customers, so a simple phone is all we ever needed. My brother, who runs the finances of our business, decides that we need smart phones, we, means him. He is as smart as the smartest technology, he's also a golf fanatic. He can download an app on a smart phone that will give him an accurate distance to the inch, via satellite GPS tracking, of the pin, on the golf course. (All that gobble-de-gook I copied, verbatim, from a text of his, I had to, it was, as I described, gobble-de-gook.)

Now I watch kids buried in the screen of their phones, tapping the keys at warp speed, doing, who knows what. I can't even text on my oh-so-smart phone, no idea how. So, not to look a complete d*ck, I bought an easy to use phone, on pay as you go, which I use to compose a text message, which I then send to my, all singing, all dancing, whistles & bells, ultra modern, smart phone.

The received message comes up with an instruction to 'share.' I type my brother's number in and he gets the message from my Apple phone, giving him the impression that I can converse using my new smart phone. Everybody outside of work has the number of my, pay-as-you-go phone. The most annoying aspect of the smart phone, was the instructions. A single sheet of paper that read: "The instructions, should you need them," it then went on to give a website. Should I need them? That implication that I am thicker than two short planks, just put me off even trying to understand this wretched phone.

Technology is to me that which the written word is to a dyslexic. I just cannot fathom how to record TV programs, I can't understand smart phones, computers are for connecting to The Lounge, right? My wife set it up: Press this, press that, do this, do that. It's all on a written crib sheet beside the computer, otherwise I would be drowning in ignorance. It irks me that small children just "do it," when all I can do is flounder. E-mails almost always are returned to me, I would probably burn the cakes on a modern, computer controlled oven, thank goodness for our Aga.

But for all my ignorance, I don't really feel left behind. In fact, reading about the bullying on Facebook and the Norwegian dolls on Twitter & elsewhere, I feel a sense of elation that I don't know how to do Facebook, at least I can't read the insults about being technology ignorant. So I'm sure that you don't mind if I think that a hash tag is the price label on a packet of frozen Hash Browns.
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,797
Location
New Forest
The rare tyres for my classic car were delivered to the tyre (tire) fitters yesterday. Two customers watched in absolute fascination as the technician inserted the inner tubes. Neither of them had ever realised that inflated tyres once had inner tubes, not even on bicycles. It just blew them away. I would have thought that inner tubes were obvious and that it was only the advancement in the sealant that has allowed for the inner tube to be dispensed with. Then again, one time that the old car was being serviced, a young customer had never seen, never realised even, that there was a time when cars were locked manually. Guy kept walking round the car holding his forehead, every now and then he would point at the car locks, open his mouth to say something, but just gape like a goldfish!

And the car was complimented too, the tyre technician said that it was so nice to work on a 'real' car for a change. He took some photos of it on his phone, he wanted to show his Dad.
 

Stearmen

I'll Lock Up
Messages
7,202
The rare tyres for my classic car were delivered to the tyre (tire) fitters yesterday. Two customers watched in absolute fascination as the technician inserted the inner tubes. Neither of them had ever realised that inflated tyres once had inner tubes, not even on bicycles. It just blew them away. I would have thought that inner tubes were obvious and that it was only the advancement in the sealant that has allowed for the inner tube to be dispensed with. Then again, one time that the old car was being serviced, a young customer had never seen, never realised even, that there was a time when cars were locked manually. Guy kept walking round the car holding his forehead, every now and then he would point at the car locks, open his mouth to say something, but just gape like a goldfish!

And the car was complimented too, the tyre technician said that it was so nice to work on a 'real' car for a change. He took some photos of it on his phone, he wanted to show his Dad.

I now know how they felt! I was watching a video on the internet on, how to make your spoke motorcycle wheel tubeless. Fascinating, opens up a whole lot more tire options. Now, if I can just figure out how to open my truck door with my smart phone, I will truly be young again!
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,797
Location
New Forest
Now, if I can just figure out how to open my truck door with my smart phone, I will truly be young again!
Now that is something of which, I am seriously jealous, if only I could do, on my phone, just some of the things that youngsters do on theirs, I would feel it a result.

A couple of weeks back, my wife and I were at a formal dinner/dance. After the meal, and before the dancing, their was a cabaret. One of the acts was a troupe of dancers who were going to perform a dance routine for us. The troupe leader gave the DJ a disc to play. Cue dancers, cue music. No music. After much fiddling around on his computer, the DJ announces that the disc is either corrupt or incompatible, either way, no music.

Up steps a young fellow, asks the troupe leader what was the chosen music? He is told, he then immediately downloads the two tracks onto his phone, produces a cable, one end plugs into his phone, the other end into the DJ's equipment, no need to transfer said downloads, he just left his phone on the DJ's computer. Cue music. It seems that everyone but me, took it all in their stride.

I've seen kids, log into, (or hack into,) CCTV cameras, via their phone, and actually seen their bus coming along, even though it's still a mile or two away. And those square shape barcodes that you can scan with your phone, what's that all about?
 

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