WONK: the Chaos Reigns Players

[retrogirl1941]

Looking out one of the windows I could see night start to fall. I wish something would happen and soon!

Man 1- Here take this we need you for bargaining later(throwing a blanket towards me)Can't have you dying on us now can we?(the two other men snickering)

Man 3- Hey Red I could use a nice warm body over here!

"I will be in my corner and I want nobody to bother me!"I plant myself on the floor and try and cover myself with the blanket as best as I can.

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

Can't believe he forgot to specify his gear before ruinning. Okay let's see:
Two AA-12 12-gauge automatic shotguns, my custom eight-inch-barreled longslide .50-cal 1911s, the pair of .50 Thompsons, an M1 Carbine and an M1C sniper Garand. Arnold?
Arnold: Tvelf-gauge autoloader. Ze fohty-fife longslide vith lasuh sights. Ze nine-millimetuh Uzi...
You sure know your weapons... so, which will it be?
Arnold: ALL.

 

[retrogirl1941]

signing off....

I tried to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. Wrapping myself up in the blanket that had'nt seen any action since the first world war.

" Can I have something...... for the pain .....in.. my arm?........(falls asleep)

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

*Pokes head back in the door* Sorry DB. The gun? Just make mine a Mauser 712 "Schnellfeuer".

 

[Diamondback]

Announcer: The Chaos Reigns Players will return next week with another mind-bending misadventure:

Why do the Zebras think Samantha is Diamondback's Achilles heel?
Is Carter going to come to his senses?
Can Kilroy find a plane big enough to transport Arnold?
Why has a German
Arnold: Owwstrian. Get it right if you vant to liff...
errr... Austrian joined the team? And why does he describe himself like he's some kind of machine?
Arnold: Because I am a machine...
Where are Dostacos, zaika, Carter, MNC and Dash?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME To WONK for the answers to these and many other nonsensical questions, when the Chaos Reigns Players continue this twisted venture into madness...

(We are not responsible for the inconclusivity of the aforementioned conclusion.)

Inspired by Marc Chevalier from a post by Carter derived from a photo posted by Salv.

This Evening's Cast - Samantha, Diamondback, KilroyCD, Milo 1, Milo 2, Arnold.

Diamondback's interrogation toolkit provided courtesy of TASER International.

This Threadcast was posted live at the Studios of the Fedora Lounge.

Our Thanks to MK and the Bartenders for their Understanding and Forbearance.

Good Night!​

Arnold: Ah'll be back... next veek.

 

[KilroyCD]

WONK comes live tonight from the Evon Gumby Theatre near Guildford...

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to this week's WONK episode. Normally starring retrogirl1941, Diamondback, KilroyCD, Carter and MrNewportCustom, tonight's episode finds KilroyCD and Diamondback arming themselves in preparation for an attempt to rescue retrogirl1941.
Kilroy to Diamondback: Did you get my Mauser?

 

[Diamondback]

Two of 'em. PFY's already out, gone undercover as an infiltrator, we'll have to make sure not to hit him.

My P-61 is already out there--remember, Blackout's acting as my "eyes in the sky"? Pity your ammo guys reloaded him with that subcaliber .303 crap instead of .50... says he coulda taken shots with one of the Bofors, but didn't like the odds of what he called "collateral damage"...

 

[KilroyCD]

I say old chap, I'll ask you not to malign our good old .303. We built an empire on that caliber.

 

[Diamondback]

The .303 has its time and place--which does not include inside the chamber of a weapon made for the mighty .50BMG! The gun we built--oops, "will build", sorry--an "empire" with...

 

[KilroyCD]

Okay, no sense quibbling over details, the fact of the matter is Red is in big trouble. We need to mount this mission soon, or I fear it'll be too late. Can you imagine the wrath of Carter if something happens to her?

 

[retrogirl1941]

I woke up to the three men on the radio talking or more like threatening diamondback.

Man 1- Are you dropping by anytime soon?

Man 2- We still have your girlfriend here. We have'nt harmed her yet.....

Man 1- (to man 2)What are you talking about you shot her arm yesterday?

Man 2-(to man 1)shut up! He can't know that!

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

Oh crap! One other piece of cargo, and it'll take all three of us to uncrate it... We gotta head over to my armory.

 

[KilroyCD]

Three of us! Can't Arnold do it all by himself? LOL

 

[Diamondback]

Man 2-(to man 1)shut up! He can't know that!

[radio]Actually, I can. You see, I have eyes in the sky... eyes that, if I released them to do so, could neatly headshot all three of you from a mile out, at four hundred miles per hour or better...

Might want to reconsider your options, vermin. Mess with a viper, and you get the fangs... Oh, that reminds me, I got one of yours here, too.[/radio]
*holds mike under Milo #2, points Taser near Milo's groin and starts playing with trigger*
[radio]Milo #2: OhMyGod, not again! Please, do whatever he wants or this psycho SOB'll tase me again!PLEEEEASE!Ohcrap....[/radio] *Milo #2 sure does seem to have a bladder-control problem, doesn't he?*
[deadpan, to Milo#2]I'm not psycho, I'm a sociopath. Get it straight--if I were really psycho, I'd tase you just for kicks; all I've done so far is what I believed necessary.

Kilroy, we're gonna have another passenger, too...

 

[Diamondback]

Once the crate's opened up, Arnold can handle it, but it's a big crate. All the really fun toys...

 

[KilroyCD]

Won't it be a little cramped in the '-61 then? It's nominally a three-seater...

 

[retrogirl1941]

I got and went over to the men standing around the fireplace.

"Is there any food?"

Man 3- not for you there is'nt! Why would we feed you! Your going to be dead soon anyways!(laughing as he walks away)

"If I dont have food I am going to pass out!"

Man 1- Why do we care?

Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

Kilroy, we can't use the 61, it's already airborne and keeping an eye on Samantha--Blackout is the P-61, remember? Not a pilot, the plane itself is a literal "thinking machine" probably smarter than both of us combined--I've seen him crack codes that would take a human hundreds of years to break in a matter of hours...

Ahh, here we are.

*Kilroy and I grab crowbars and tear into crate, revealing an unGodly-huge rifle, and assorted other lethal implements*

Arnold: Barret XM107 .50-caliber rifle--it vill delivuh vun-shot kills at eighteen-hundred metuhs, veight thuhty-vun pounds. W54 "Davy Crockett" atomic bazooka, vith 250-ton yield... Special Atomic Demolition Munition, vith dial-a-yield capability; good foh two city blocks of destruction in all directions. Do you intend to take on the enti-ah Wehrmacht with just us?
[deadpan]If necessary, exactly...
*Arnold shrugs, then slings bazooka and ADM over shoulders, then picks up rifle with one massive hand*
Arnold: I need a faacashun....

 

[KilroyCD]

Well, okay then. I guess we can use the Hudson then. I'll get my crew chief, "Skid" Marx to get it warmed up. Will all that clobber fit in the bomb bay?

 

[Diamondback]

*glances across field*
Got a better idea: what's the deal with that glassnose A-26 Invader over there?