Who wrote the book on motherhood?

[princessofcandl]

Oh and here's my two cents....

Hubby and I started the foster-to-adopt route and immediatly after Christmas went from no kids to a newborn and a 2 year old. Its been fab! My kids are crazy. The newborn is loved like crazy. He keeps a pretty good schedule so we know how to work our stuff around him. The toddler is very very independent minded little girl. I say she's 2 going on 25. But all that talk of losing yourself and not getting to be spontanious and do anything is crocky.

We have always been travelers. We like to take about 3 mini vacations (long weekends) a year and one or two big ones (one week). I like to go to concerts and shopping. He likes us to go on road trips. You know... that kind of stuff. Everyone said well forget that after you have kids. Heck no! I am a self proclaimed "mean mom". My kids have rules. No talking back, no running in resturants, say please and thankyou. You see how mean I am. Well not only do the kids love our little adventures (as we've called them) but they are the best behaved kiddos if you ask me.

We just got back from a week in Vegas with the kids. We flew in and out and stayed at Circus Circus. There was lots for them to do. They both handled the plane well, in fact the toddler was loving it. And they have these activity center kid drop off places where we could leave them to play for a few hours while we gambled a bit. They were great! Its all about how you parent. We value traveling and eating out so they learn early to behave. Heck my toddler's favorite foods are chinese dim sum and sushi.

You CAN still be a cool mom.

 

[dickandchristin]

Children are the greatest gift in life!

It is true. There is nothing better than being a mom or dad! It is not easy, but the rewards are fabulous. Our 2 greatest helps: PRAY a lot ,and keep a sense of HUMOR. Grandchildren are even nicer!

 

[dickandchristin]

It is true. There is nothing better than being a mom or dad! It is not easy, but the rewards are fabulous. Our 2 greatest helps: PRAY a lot ,and keep a sense of HUMOR. Grandchildren are even nicer!

Children are a heritage from the Lord--Proverbs, The BIBLE

 

[SuperKawaiiMama]

Such an interesting topic, and the answers and view on this will be different from everyone. I have two children, 4 and 1 years old. I can't say that I found any books on pregnancy or babyhood much help, more scary than anything else with their illustrations of the huge panties I would have to wear and the nasty smock dresses! Both children were completely different experiences for me, ranging from hating my pregnant body, to nightmare delivery and fights with hospital staff. None of these things were in any books. The most valuable thing I learnt it this - Expect nothing and you will not be disappointed. I'm referring to things like romantic visions of pregnancy, birth plans and beautiful baby clothes.
Rather than seeking out a book that purports to have all the answers, instead seek out some good, honest friends who have children. There are so many critical things that never make it to print for fear of shame or judgment of the writer. If you can find someone to tell it like it is, keeping in mind that everyone's experiences are different, you will be much better prepared than reading an entire library.
If it helps, I'm happy to answer some of the more tricky questions for you the best I can.

 

[anabolina]

I think you're going about this the right way ShortClara, research(the librarian in me says research everything), talking things out with your partner, and thinking it through. As an aunt, I think babies are awesome. Yes it is different to be an aunt/babysitter (giving them back when they cry or act like brats, lol), but you may also try vounteering in some way while you're making your decision to allow yourself to feel more comfortable with the idea.

I understand the feeling of losing time. I turn 27 next month and am the oldest non-married, non-parent of most of my friends and family (two of my younger sisters, brother, multitude of older and younger cousins, both best-friends, other random friends) and after being a pre-school teacher, I'm more certain I want to have kids, but am no closer to it. I taught 3-4 year olds and I loved them. They were brats more often then not and it was hard to get them to mind, but occasionally they would smile and give me a hug and it was all worth it.

On the hospital vs home front, I know one of my sisters did go to the hospital and I know she regreted it. She said there wasn't much pain and it was over in 3 hours and she thought the epistemeology (sp?: the cutting thing) was unecessary and didn't heal for the longest time. The other sister did a home birth I think because of the other sister's experience and because my Mom had all 6 of us at home, and said it hurt, but wasn't outrageous and she'd do it again. Unfortunately, I missed both because one sister lives is California and the other 4 hours away.

If you do decide to go ahead and have kids, I'm sure you'll do great.

 

[MarieAnne]

I had a baby 5 months ago so it's all pretty fresh. Hmmm...

On my pregnancy...I felt great and had very little sickness and discomfort. I gained 19lbs. and my blood pressure never rose, I never retained water or got bloated. I was very fortunate; I was also in FANTASTIC shape at the time. I was running 7km every other day and lifting weights. My fitness level never paid off more than when I was pregnant. I would highly recommend getting fit before getting pregnant. Pregnancy is hard on your body...if there is one thing you can prepare for, it's probably that.

It's amazing to have something growing inside you. I cried at the first ultrasound; I can't describe how emotional it was to see that little bean bouncing around in that big black bubble - inside me. Until that time the pregnancy didn't really phase me. My husband and I weren't trying to get pregnant but we had stopped trying to NOT get pregnant. I loved being pregnant.

On my birth...... I read MANY books. I wanted to give birth squatting in a river with my two best girlfriends by my side and my husband catching the baby and just when the baby was coming out a great big eagle would perch itself on my shoulder and give me strength and all the forrest animals would cry out with me and......you get the picture. I had all these great fantastic, romantic, beautiful ideas - but when it comes to birth - you just can't plan for it like you would a picnic. Things will happen to you, and you will feel things, physical and emotional that you had never in a million years, dreamed of. I don't mean that in a bad way. What I'm trying to say is you have to be flexible when you are planning out a birth. "Setting" your mind on something, can be your biggest downfall. Instead, read, read, read, and talk, talk, talk and learn and explore all of your options so that when the time comes you can make informed decisions that are appropriate with 'your reality' as well as 'your dream.' You have to be willing to just surrender to the forces that be (I mean nature not the medical establishement) and go with the flow.


On my recovery....I tore pretty bad. And five months later, I still have hemorhoids from pushing so hard. I feel like the recovery is WAY worse than the birth. You're exhausted, you are up at night with a baby (to some extent), hurts to poo, hurts to sit, hurts to stand, hurts to walk, and then your milk comes in so your boobs look and feel like giant hot sores ready to burst, and they are leaking heavily and all your sheets are wet when you wake up in the morning and then you get the blues (to some extent), you feel irritable and depressed, and your husband is just standing in the corner wide-eyed, watching and he can't understand whats happening to you but he wants to help you so bad......It's pretty rough. Your body goes through such drastic changes, both physical and emotional. I tought getting pregnant was WAY easier on my body than getting UNpregnant.

On motherhood....It's a big adjustment. I understand what you mean about 'loosing yourself.' I definitely feel like I've lost parts of myself. The part that doesn't care, and the part that drinks to excess, and the part that occasionaly smokes, but I don't miss those parts. And all the parts that I think are worth hanging on to, I just make an effort to keep. Being a parent doesn't mean you have to stop being a vintage vixen, or a musician, it just means you'll have less time to do the things that define you as such. I find it harder to workout and be fit so I bought a chin up bar, some resistance bands and a jump rump so I can work out at home. It's harder but it's not impossible.
What I have 'done/stopped doing' for her is nothing compared to what I wouldn't 'do/stop doing' for her.
Here she is, Valentine Marie Pynn born April 12, 2008

 

[LelaViavonie]

She is absolutly beautiful... I love her name and look at those beautiful eyes.