When does a gentleman fight back?

[Bourbon Guy]

I don't know if my reaction was proper or not.

It's my one scary subway-riding story, starring two guys I uncharitably hope have since been hit by a bus, who upon realizing we were on a no-stop express and it was just them and two girls in the car started talking/laughing about their tee-hee violent felonies and one's hobby of beating the hell out of his girlfriend.

There was one other person in the car, another woman as scared as I was, sitting across from me, and we traded looks of "oh the alarm is over there and just gonna stop the car..."

I knew I didn't have a chance in hell of fighting two guys (I think we were all unarmed but yeah I'm small and was not dreaming of being beat down in a nearly vacant subway car) so even when they'd moved right up next to me I ignored them and stared at my shoe like it had the cure for cancer written on it.

I still don't feel good about my reaction.

You did good! FEEL good about it. You walked away unscathed, and that's GOOD. Believe it. Internallize it. You handled it correctly. That you left that car unharmed is testament to that.

There were only a limited number of outcomes that could come from that encounter, and the way you played it resulted in the best outcome for YOU, and that is all that matters.

The lesson you should take away from this is to trust your instincts, because they were right and served you well. You did not make your post from a hospital bed. Neither did you post this from the perspective of having to defend your actions against a DA coming after you for killing some guy on the subway.

Totally furious for having to endure it? Damn right. Take it out in the gym. You're here and alive and well. That's a good thing. And it is more important than the rest. You were not Schindler trying to save the innocents. You were just you trying to make it out of that subway car, and you did. Good.

 

[Lincsong]

What gets me is when some guy tells me; "Do you want to take this outside?" To which I must then matter of factly reply; "Why? I can deal (censored for the sensitive ) with you just as well right here as I can out there".

 

[Lincsong]

To the members that wear hats.... This has never happend to me but here goes, if a stranger came up to you or walked by you and he intentionally knocks your hat off your head, do you think its justifiable to crack the guy in the face for this?? I ask because where im from there are some people that would actually be stupid enough to knock a hat off a person's head. For reasons that i dont know, other than maybe they must have a death wish to do that to a stranger. So what do you think, is the backlash reaction gentlemenly or no?

This is the kind of low-life scenario that happens in Jr. High and High Schools, some type of semi-literate trash trying to cause trouble. There were these types when I was in school. The only way to deal with them is to make it so that the next thing they're picking up is their butts and teeth from the ground.

 

[FinalVestige79]

Its a mixture of morals, and guts. Simple as that. Its in each of us, (some definitely more than others), its just a matter of how it manifests. Doing the right thing and being a gentleman / person go hand in hand. You defend your gal, and you defend those around you. You speak against the wrongs impressed on others. There are many ways to be a good person.

 

[Shangas]

A man (be he of gentle breeding or not), should only fight back when it's absolutely necessary. These times being:

1. In defense of one's life and/or property.
2. In defense of family and/or friends.
3. ...I really can't think of any others...

I've never been in a proper fight before. Twice I had to chase down people who tried to steal my property (once, keys, the other time, money), but that was it (caught the person on both occasions and retrieved said property).

My family is pretty fighty. My brother and two of my cousins are martial-arts black-belts, as is my uncle. I did some martial arts, but I never enjoyed it, so I wasn't particularly good. Another cousin of mine (girl) is trained in hand-to-hand weapons combat (swords, sticks, daggers, nunchucks, etc). She beat up a mugger who tried to steal her handbag once, but apart from that, I don't know of any other times when me or any member of my family was attacked.

I would resolve first to walk away. As quickly as possible. If that didn't work, I'd start with words. I'm a pretty patient person. After words, more walking. If I was persued and attacked...I'm perfectly capable of defending myself against an unarmed mugger. A ballpoint pen makes some pretty impressive-looking wounds.

 

[Hemingway Jones]

I think we get the general idea on this one.