What Happened to Chivalry?

[Diamondback]

While i have nothing against people who are into, or carry guns, I do have a little concern. As the old saying goes, "when all you have is a hammer, suddenly every problem starts to look like a nail."

This, RP, is also part of why I was a Psych student too. As a firearms instructor and old Marine I have a great deal of respect likes to say, "Your best defense is a lifelong commitment to Avoidance, Deterrence and De-escalation." It's a sobering thing when you realize that you've become, to a degree, responsible for the lives of everyone who crosses your path... a responsibility not to take lightly by any stretch of the imagination, and part of why several other instructors I respect and I like to say that the majority of a successful self-defense is done in the library, studying alternative options so that you have additional "tools in the bag" and only pull the deadly-force "sledgehammer" when the scenario is truly In The Gravest Extreme, if I may lift the title of a really good reference on these matters.

 

[tuppence]

No, I have never been raped. But that has nothing to do with my world view. I do not think that even these statistics should make anyone think that men are dangerous, any more than I think murders or muggings mean that all humans are dangerous.

For one thing, very few of those rapes are from some stranger walking down the street. the vast majority are acquantances, friends etc. So what does that have to do with a guy walking down the street? it is this attitude ,that the man walking down the street is such a threat that allows all these date rapes and similar to be hidden and not considered or talked about enough.

As long as we have this image of the crazed rapist waiting in the alley, we will fail to address these issues in the way that they need to be addressed.

So, while not to deny you your right to your world view, please do not deny me mine, or suggest that it is somehow naive or wrong. i will give you the same courtesy. And it is not just me, the women I choose to date and be friends with generally share my world view.

Being a Gentleman involves making other people around you feel comfortable. So whether you can understand why woman feel fear or not, you should take into consideration that the reality is; woman do feel fearful, You should do the chivalrous thing and cross to the other side of the street.
Why would you want to make some-one else feel uncomfortable?

 

[tuppence]

Mojito your brother sounds wonderful

I think they should teach this example in schools.

 

[Undertow]

My whole interpretation of the "I CAN DO IT FOR MYSELF YOU PIG" attitude is that it's coming from someone who, deep down, has doubts and insecurities about her own independance. Which is her problem, not yours.

Very well said! I've had this happen to me and the lady would not enter through the door I opened. She stood waiting for me to go in and the door to close behind me. Then she entered. [huh] Have it your way, sister.

8)Would you personally like to see men act more chivalrous?
Yes ___ No ___

Yes I would, absolutely. I would personally like to see EVERYONE act more responsibly, with better manners and a truer sense of civility, sincerity and propriety.

 

[Paisley]

I don't mind it when someone holds the door open for me, but when he stands in the way while doing it, it's awkward. And it's always a he. I don't want to brush against someone or do the limbo under his arm.

FWIW, my suggestions for holding open a door are to prop it open and proceed once they take hold of the door; or to open the door, get completely out of the person's path, and follow them after they walk through the door.