What Does The FL Think of So-called Black Friday?

[Foxer55]

ButteMT61,

Hey, don't get me wrong - there's a couple new MB that I love the looks of. But the commercials are so off-putting that it would be hard to do such a thing and not feel like Powers doing it

Based on what I've seen at the track, BMW is the car if you want to go foreign. MB may look nice but its just a boat. Me, I'll stick with my Impalas and Corvettes.

 

[LizzieMaine]

But what about society that makes us want so much stuff?

There is the question every single one of us ought to be asking. We come into the world wanting only two things: food and warmth. Every other desire we develop -- every other thing we "need" -- is the result of learned behavior and implanted wants. The big question to ask is "who's doing the teaching and who's doing the implanting?"

 

[sheeplady]

There is the question every single one of us ought to be asking. We come into the world wanting only two things: food and warmth. Every other desire we develop -- every other thing we "need" -- is the result of learned behavior and implanted wants. The big question to ask is "who's doing the teaching and who's doing the implanting?"

Exactly. So many people feel "trapped" and "obligated" to do certain things- mainly accumulate stuff- that they are really missing the opportunities in life. You only live once. This is a lesson that should be taught over and over again.

Now let me say this, I do believe there's some stuff that adds to your life because it allows you to do things that make you happy. But it is not the item itself that brings happiness, it is what it allows you to do. A bigger or nicer thing won't make you more happy because it doesn't change the fundamental experience. Accumulating more of these items won't make you happy because they don't make the experience bigger or better. They just make the experience more expensive- which takes away from being able to afford more experiences.

 

[Atticus Finch]

My brother-in-law took our teenage niece to a Wal-Mart early Black Friday morning. He said they didn't go to buy anything. They just went because Calli had never seen someone maced in real life.

AF

 

[ButteMT61]

My brother-in-law took our teenage niece to a Wal-Mart early Black Friday morning. He said they didn't go to buy anything. They just went because Calli had never seen someone maced in real life.

AF

:rofl:

 

[cchgn]

I can understand wanting your kids to have everything. I struggle with this with my daughter. After I was diagnosed with cancer I had this urge to buy her anything I thought she would want or like out of fear that she would grow up without me. It sounds silly, but although I knew stuff couldn't replace me, I thought stuff could make the loss somehow better- as if the gifts were tangible proof that I loved her and still loved her even though I was dead. I am still fighting this urge to buy anything I think she'd like and squirrel it away "just in case."

Well, it wasn't like that. I loved my kids so much, I wanted to get them what they wanted, not everything they wanted, big difference. They wanted monkeys and horses, no dice. Also, before Thanksgiving, we'd take their old toys and clothes( they'd grew out of anyway) to the local orphanage and then they'd write down 5 things they wanted. That put things into the proper perspective. Black Friday was a labor of love that looked forward to doing.

But what about society that makes us want so much stuff?

Well, I'm on a crusade to expose dysfunction. Saying that society makes us want so much is like saying that someone else makes us angry or happy or jealous. We are all responsible for our own happiness and self esteem. Consider this, if I let someone make me angry, then I've given all control of myself to someone that doesn't deserve it.

I seriously doubt that anyone who has been dysfunctional to their children won't feel any guilt about it as well.

 

[Son_of_Atropos]

Never understood the attraction with Black Friday, of course, I'm not a big fan of shopping anyway. I only buy something new if it is broken beyond repair. But hey, world is fixated on spend - spend - spend, there isn't a place for the savers anymore.

 

[sheeplady]

Well, it wasn't like that. I loved my kids so much, I wanted to get them what they wanted, not everything they wanted, big difference. They wanted monkeys and horses, no dice. Also, before Thanksgiving, we'd take their old toys and clothes( they'd grew out of anyway) to the local orphanage and then they'd write down 5 things they wanted. That put things into the proper perspective. Black Friday was a labor of love that looked forward to doing.



Well, I'm on a crusade to expose dysfunction. Saying that society makes us want so much is like saying that someone else makes us angry or happy or jealous. We are all responsible for our own happiness and self esteem. Consider this, if I let someone make me angry, then I've given all control of myself to someone that doesn't deserve it.

I seriously doubt that anyone who has been dysfunctional to their children won't feel any guilt about it as well.

Why did you feel five things was acceptable? I imagine you looked around, looked at your finances, and decided that five was the right number for your family. I'm not trying to say what you did was wrong (because I'm not) but why is five things acceptable? You let society influence how much you gave. If you thought five gifts was a reasonable Christmas, you were being influenced by your surrounding society.

That's quite a big Christmas for a lot of families to give five presents for each child. Where I was from it would have been a huge Christmas to get that many things. Most families I know give much less, including stocking stuffers (which are normally two or three "gifts" split between the children- things like a bag of oranges, a box of candy canes, stickers, etc.). Big gifts were things like tapes or CDs, a sweater, etc. If you were really lucky you got one nice gift: a pair of jeans, a boom box (showing my age), etc. but you likely got nothing else.

For other people I've met as adults, their Christmases might have included 6 big items: jeans, boombox, walkman's, tapes, etc. and really nice stocking stuffers. These people would say that the size of a Christmas should be much much larger than either of us.

What I consider acceptable for Christmas (two to three large gifts or one extra large gift) and small stocking stuffers was influenced by the society I grew up in. Just like it appears that you were influenced by society in what you thought was acceptable.

 

[HudsonHawk]

Never understood the attraction with Black Friday, of course, I'm not a big fan of shopping anyway. I only buy something new if it is broken beyond repair. But hey, world is fixated on spend - spend - spend, there isn't a place for the savers anymore.

That's a false dichotomy. It's doesn't have to be "spend, spend, spend" or "only buy if broken beyond repair". There are plenty of us out there that are responsible with our money, yet aren't misers.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

That's a false dichotomy. It's doesn't have to be "spend, spend, spend" or "only buy if broken beyond repair". There are plenty of us out there that are responsible with our money, yet aren't misers.

That's what I was thinking. I buy what I feel like I can afford. Also I enjoy watching my familie's eyes light up when opening their gifts. That makes my favorite holiday 'Christmas' something special for me and most often everyone else. I always do the research finding out what their hearts desire might be. I look for sales at different stores when out shopping but have absolutely no interest in battling through the Black Friday battle of the rude and ruthless.
HD

 

[LizzieMaine]

That's quite a big Christmas for a lot of families to give five presents for each child. Where I was from it would have been a huge Christmas to get that many things. Most families I know give much less, including stocking stuffers (which are normally two or three "gifts" split between the children- things like a bag of oranges, a box of candy canes, stickers, etc.). Big gifts were things like tapes or CDs, a sweater, etc. If you were really lucky you got one nice gift: a pair of jeans, a boom box (showing my age), etc. but you likely got nothing else.

That's a lot like it was in my family -- my sister and brother and I would each get one "big" gift and a few small things, plus the stocking stuff. For some reason I always remember getting a deck of cards in my stocking, and usually ended up having more fun with that than I did with the "big" presents.

Although it was a modest Christmas by modern standards, my mother went into debt every year to provide it -- we didn't have credit cards, but she'd pawn stuff, and get a small bank loan to cover the rest. The older I got and the more I understood what "debt" was, the guiltier I felt about that.

Of all those things I got for Christmas growing up, I only have two things left -- a child-sized wooden rocking chair I got for my very first Christmas, which is in my bedroom to this day, and a portable radio I got when I was fourteen. All the rest of it, no matter what it was, got ruined or lost or broken long ago and vanished into the waste stream. That makes me feel even guiltier -- all that money spent, all that debt, and nothing left to show for most of it but a few murky memories.

 

[HudsonHawk]

That's what I was thinking. I buy what I feel like I can afford. Also I enjoy watching my familie's eyes light up when opening their gifts. That makes my favorite holiday 'Christmas' something special for me and most often everyone else. I always do the research finding out what their hearts desire might be.
HD

This is it for me too. Gift giving is about exactly that...the giving. I enjoy getting things for my wife, the time I spend thinking of something personal and meaningful, and possibly practical. But it's not about replacing something of hers that has broken. Some of the most gifting fun I've had was getting her something personal that she neither couldn't live without or asked for.

 

[ButteMT61]

That's a lot like it was in my family -- my sister and brother and I would each get one "big" gift and a few small things, plus the stocking stuff. For some reason I always remember getting a deck of cards in my stocking, and usually ended up having more fun with that than I did with the "big" presents.

Although it was a modest Christmas by modern standards, my mother went into debt every year to provide it -- we didn't have credit cards, but she'd pawn stuff, and get a small bank loan to cover the rest. The older I got and the more I understood what "debt" was, the guiltier I felt about that.

Of all those things I got for Christmas growing up, I only have two things left -- a child-sized wooden rocking chair I got for my very first Christmas, which is in my bedroom to this day, and a portable radio I got when I was fourteen. All the rest of it, no matter what it was, got ruined or lost or broken long ago and vanished into the waste stream. That makes me feel even guiltier -- all that money spent, all that debt, and nothing left to show for most of it but a few murky memories.

I too have my baby rocker. My son used it and then my granddaughter. The second one using it now. I also have my Mr Ed hand puppet that when you pull the string, it says one of ~8 random Ed-isms.

I think the best ever gift though was my Schwinn Stingray in apple red. Not the Apple Krate - Dad was still on school. But I rode that thing until it fell apart. The very first thing I bought on eBay in 1999 was an Orange Krate for my son. He was 7 and still has it. Makes me smile.

 

[HudsonHawk]

Of all those things I got for Christmas growing up, I only have two things left -- a child-sized wooden rocking chair I got for my very first Christmas, which is in my bedroom to this day, and a portable radio I got when I was fourteen. All the rest of it, no matter what it was, got ruined or lost or broken long ago and vanished into the waste stream. That makes me feel even guiltier -- all that money spent, all that debt, and nothing left to show for most of it but a few murky memories.

I still have a few things I got as a kid...my first catcher's mitt, a fishing rod, and an alarm clock. But my memories of many other things isn't murky. I have very fond memories of some gifts (as well as vivid memories of the years we got nothing and had to sell the furniture for food). One of my all-time gifts from Santa was an electric popcorn popper. Which may sound odd, except that I was, and still am, cuckoo for popcorn.

 

[Tomasso]

I always looked forward to my Christmas gift because I knew I'd be warm for at least one day.......

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Also sometimes at Thanksgiving and certainly at Christmas I share my blessings with either a friend that I know is in dire need at the time..or a stranger that I seek out. I prefer to do it anonymously to bring what may seem to be a miracle into someone's life. As I am older now..with monitory struggles behind me..I always tend to have more than I need. This is what Christmas means to me and what a great time to share. Try it...no matter how much you feel you don't have. There is someone who could use a little hope and giving can be very rewarding as well.
HD

 

[ButteMT61]

Also sometimes at Thanksgiving and certainly at Christmas I share my blessings with either a friend that I know is in dire need at the time..or a stranger that I seek out. I prefer to do it anonymously to bring what may seem to be a miracle into someone's life. As I am older now..with monitory struggles behind me..I always tend to have more than I need. This is what Christmas means to me and what a great time to share. Try it. There is someone who could use a little hope and giving can be very rewarding as well.
HD

We always do too. Gave a bunch of new jackets to the Container Store event and always some funds to the ASPCA/local shelter/Kitten Rescues. This year, we're giving money to one of the three girls that was kidnapped and held for 11 years in Ohio. Michelle Knight is the girl and here's a page. Supposed to be giving 100% of the money to her. Hope so.
https://drphilfoundation.org/donate

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Yep..that can often be the trouble with organized charities. The hope that there is no abuse.
Actually though..if you look and can notice..there is most likely someone in need very near by..and helping can be a most personal thing.
HD

 

[Atticus Finch]

Also sometimes at Thanksgiving and certainly at Christmas I share my blessings with either a friend that I know is in dire need at the time..or a stranger that I seek out. I prefer to do it anonymously to bring what may seem to be a miracle into someone's life.

If there was a "like" button that I could push at the bottom of this post, I would dang sure push it.

AF

 

[sheeplady]

I don't know, what do you guys think of giving Tuesday?

On one hand, it is nice to have a "day" when people think about giving, but people should be thinking about giving the entire year around and NOT just during the holidays and especially not during a single day. It is a little off putting that the day follows Black Friday and Cyber Monday- two holidays which are primarily about excessively buying junk for yourself (and perhaps loved ones.)

So think about charity *after* you get you and yours lots of crap made in china as an afterthought even in a season of giving. This "giving day" should be the day that follows Thanksgiving. Charity should be utmost on everyone's minds, not buying cheap crud.