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What advice would you give to your younger selves?

Hercule

Practically Family
Messages
953
Location
Western Reserve (Cleveland)
Protestant guilt is going about your life feeling vaguely guilty that you're not sure what you're supposed to be feeling guilty about, so you hedge your bets and distribute it around to more or less everything.

The idea of religious guilt is interesting and as irreverent and as factious as these posts may appear, there are genuine, real world characterizations that can be made. In my experience, with regard to assuaging guilt, a Protestant is most likely to work it off whereas a Catholic would more readily pay it off.
 
Messages
12,005
Location
Southern California
Before you pop the question, consider how her parents act towards each other. Because ultimately that's what you'll be getting.
In 1980 I started dating the woman who would become my wife in 1981. My immediate work supervisor at the time was not shy about offering me the "life lessons" he'd learned, and one of his pieces of advice was for me to observe my wife's mother and pay attention to the way she treated my wife's father because, according to him, my girlfriend would attempt to treat me the same way. I had learned fairly quickly to pay attention to this supervisor because his observations were spot on at least 90% of the time, and when they weren't his conclusions weren't too far off the mark. And, sure enough, he was right this time too. She (my girlfriend) tried, but hadn't considered that I was not her father, and was not the type to simply "follow orders" as he generally did...unless I was getting paid to do so...at work, for example. ;) Anyway, we found our way, I let her have her way when the subject wasn't particularly important to me, and we will be celebrating our 40th anniversary as husband and wife later this year.
 
Messages
19,409
Location
Funkytown, USA
In 1980 I started dating the woman who would become my wife in 1981. My immediate work supervisor at the time was not shy about offering me the "life lessons" he'd learned, and one of his pieces of advice was for me to observe my wife's mother and pay attention to the way she treated my wife's father because, according to him, my girlfriend would attempt to treat me the same way. I had learned fairly quickly to pay attention to this supervisor because his observations were spot on at least 90% of the time, and when they weren't his conclusions weren't too far off the mark. And, sure enough, he was right this time too. She (my girlfriend) tried, but hadn't considered that I was not her father, and was not the type to simply "follow orders" as he generally did...unless I was getting paid to do so...at work, for example. ;) Anyway, we found our way, I let her have her way when the subject wasn't particularly important to me, and we will be celebrating our 40th anniversary as husband and wife later this year.

Congratulations, Al.

My mother-in-law was slightly insane, but I loved her to death.

My wife? Completely insane. Number 29 in less than a month, with no end in sight.
 
Messages
12,941
Location
Germany
Another good one to my young self:

Boy, train a little, get a little fitter. No need for sports and fitness studio, but work on yourself. Hold on William Shatner: "Train, improve yourself."
 

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Messages
10,930
Location
My mother's basement
Not so much advice as an observation: "Whatever you think is going to happen to you, don't count on it."


No foolin’. We are so prone to wasting psychic energy fretting over what is unlikely ever to happen.

My late brother would run worrisome scenarios by me, to which I would typically respond, “Man, I take this as a sign that you have very few actual problems, so you gotta make some up.”

The flip side of that coin is magical thinking. I’d rather deal with a fretter.
 
Messages
10,930
Location
My mother's basement
I am thinking it would be a waste of time as I would have been young and would not have listen to an old fogey anyway.
I recall older fellows with health problems telling me I would find myself in their condition should I continue in my ways, and that it would be wise of me to change certain habits while there was still time.

I heard them clearly. I appreciated their concern for my future. And then I did nothing about it.
 
Messages
12,941
Location
Germany
Boy, DON'T think about the Germans!
It's waste of time. They are, what they are and they will never change. Still nothing more than the mirror image of their worthless public education system.
 

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