weight gain how to dress?

[Anachronism]

I've gained some weight and I really don't know what to do. Of course I'm trying to exercise and eat better, but I don't know what to do about style. I feel like I don't deserve to dress pretty, like I can't look good. (oh and to top this all off, my acne is coming back!) I hope the weight will go away, but there is this huge part of me that is convinced I will fail.

To give you a history, i've struggled with compulsive overeating my whole teenage life and for about 3 years I kept trying to loose weight only to get up to a high of 180 before loosing about 70lbs of that. While I was gaining weight I looked terrible. I dressed all wrong for my body, wearing sizes too small because I wanted to tell myself I was smaller than I was. And I felt HORRIBLE about myself.

But to get to the bottom line, because I'm not really hear to talk about eating in general, I was wondering if anybody could give me advice on how to dress and cope with my body? I'm asking this here because I know a lot of the girls on here have great style. My body is annoyingly-shaped. I have small boobs, fat arms, big hips and thighs. I do have a waist though, which i am very thankful for.

 

[MissAmelina]

I feel you, Girl! After getting a little older I put 35 pounds on my small frame...I had to get rid of all my old vintage dresses that i wore in my 20's because my boobs no longer fit into any of them (or my arms, for that matter...or my tummy...hehe). And this is a big reason why I am *making* alot of my own clothes now. That way, I am guaranteed a good fit and no longer feel frumpaliscious. I highly recommend Spanx or a girdle to smooth your contours as well. Many of us use them.

Lady Day has some *really* awesome suggestions on her website for fuller figured woman...I highly suggest checking them out.

If you have a proportionately smaller waist, USE THAT to your advantage....wide belts, fitted tops and waistbands....loverly circle skirts that are girlie and twirly and feminine and hide the hips...they are a godsend.
Don't be afraid to wear the right size! It looks sooo much better to go ahead an don the proper size (i have accepted that mine will always be in the double digits now!) instead of squeezing into a size or two smaller...it's the latter than makes us look frumpy and poopy.

As far as exercise and diet (we all have different opinions on this, but these are mine)

START LIFTING WEIGHTS. We loose muscle mass as we age which slows our metabolism....brisk walk for 30 minutes a day (or jumping jacks...or walking up and down the stairs or dance to your favorite CD in the living room!) and tack on 10-15 minutes of strength training (push ups....I do mine standing against the wall because my upper body and joints are too weak, sit ups, squats, biceps curls...or get a full body workout DVD like Jari Love's "Get Ripped" and do that a couple times a week). I am in the process of trying to make this a lifelong thing...less than an hour of activity every day to feed my spirit.
I have never been an active person and the transition is hard....Also make sure you are eating plenty of calories a day...at least 1500.

Over in the Beauty section, some of us gals are doing a "The Biggest Loser Club: Vintage" and we would LOVE it if you would join....if you are already on there, forgive me. I am not sure who has joined and who has not. But we are a nice group of gals all different shapes and sizes, supporting each other.

Hope this all didn't sound too preachy...I know you asked more for clothing suggestions....I just know what this feels like so I wanted to add my two cents.
Blessings, Sister.

Amy

 

[BombshellBella]

I know how you feel, Im just like you... I am 5'7" and used to be 125, then got married gained 10 pounds, had a baby now I weigh 150 and its been that way for a whole year. I am coming to grips with it... Its really hard for me to lose it!! I just have to put my mind to it... but you know how it is...

Anyway, for your body shape I would suggest that you look for things that define your waist since its small. I notice that girls with bigger arms look better with 3/4 style sleeves. Boat necks look good. Puffs sleeves look good. Skirts with slight a-line cuts are nice. Dont wear really tight jeans. And ofcourse chunky heels are good, but still in a nice shape, not those funky 70s style chunks, you know what I mean?

Anyway, don't worry about it. I think once you start experiementing and taking photos which you look at like a week later, you will realize how CUTE you are at your size. Sometimes we make ourselves out to be BIGGER than we really are.

Anyway, good luck shopping and dont worry so much about your weight, just eat right and get some exercise in.

 

[Miss Caroline]

I find the 50's lends it's self to ladies with a more voluptuous frame like ourselves
Fuller skirts with cinched in waists flatter figgers and hind tums and bolero's to cover ones "bingo wings" are a winner in my book, also high heels are great for elongating (sp?) your legs.
aren't you in the Biggest Loser vintage?
It seems alot of people have given up on it.

 

[MissAmelina]

Here is the Lady's link:

http://www.newvintagelady.com/theladysstyletips/whattowear/page1.html

 

[Paisley]

Make sure your hairstyle suits your face--it changes, too, with weight gain. Avoid too-short hair or styles that hit at the jawline; it emphasizes roundness and width.

ETA: if you're in the Denver area, you're welcome to come to my Charleston workout. It's listed in the Events section.

 

[Inky]

Hi Anachronism!

As a obese person all of my adult life, and morbidly obese for the past 10 years (322 pounds highest), I have always struggled with style and fashion. I've given up lots of times and I've regained my style lots of times too. Even now at a size 14 it's very difficult, but here are my tips:

go to Lady Day's site that was already posted - she has some great tips suited for vintage as well as any style.

don't wear baggy stuff, even though it might be what you gravitate towards in order to "hide" yourself. Baggy clothing only make you seem even bigger than you are. Accentuate your best feature - a small waistline with empire waist blouses and dresses that will focus the fit on the smallest part of you without enhancing your hips.

Invest in good undergarments that give full support and any assistance (i.e. great bras and spanx or girdles or what works best for your lifestyle).

I just found that a pair of high waist 40's trousers hide my belly pouch better than spanx and a pair of normal wide legged trousers - go figure, so now a high waist skirt is in my future to test that theory with skirts! As painful as it can be, trying on many different styles can really help you figure it out. And don't worry about the size number. What may work in one size for one manufacturer may be different for another.

Lastly, live for the moment, as the moments are short. Don't wait until you lose weight to live your life and be fashionable. Love the body you are in while you are in it and while you work to make it the body you want, but we're only in them for a short time and believe me when I say I wasted plenty of time not living my life.

good luck and be kind to yourself on your journey!

 

[Redhead]

I was wondering if anybody could give me advice on how to dress and cope with my body? I'm asking this here because I know a lot of the girls on here have great style. My body is annoyingly-shaped. I have small boobs, fat arms, big hips and thighs. I do have a waist though, which i am very thankful for.

I know exactly where you are coming from. When I was 13 I weighed 200 pounds and I'm only 5'0". I went vegetarian and lost 80 pounds over a year and a half, but I've slowly been gaining weight back since I went back to dairy and meat; I can't fit into my pencil skirts anymore without looking like a sausage.

It sounds like we have exactly the same body shape, EXACTLY. You're probably taller though. I've found that wearing separates is the best for my figure. I went to my local thrift store and found some classic skirts, some shirts, and a bunch of belts to wear to emphasis my waist. That alone has changed the look of my figure all together and makes me feel better about myself than hiding in oversized shirts. I hope this helps.

Regards,
Chandra

P.S. You look like a doll in your avatar picture!

 

[Anachronism]

thank you!

Thank you guys so much for the advice. I'm trying not to make the same mistakes I did a few years ago which only led to bad fashion and low self esteem.

I think i'll go pick up some spanx today.
But where would I buy a girdle? Do they work better than spanx?

MissAmelia--I actually am lifting weights, and reading your advice about it made me feel a bit more optimistic

 

[Carlisle Blues]

I am aware that this is a very sensitive topic. I hope I am not intruding. If so please let me know and I will delete this. I do mean any disrespect.

Under normal circumstances I cook, work out all the time and feel great.

About a year ago my boy turned two. He stopped sleeping. That meant I was up all night with him. Totally screwed me up.

I stopped cooking and started to eat processed food. My normal five day a week workouts diminished. I put on some weight and felt miserable.

I absolutely love to dance, so I started engaging in Zumba, I didn't have time for martial arts anymore.

I refused to buy new clothes as I was determined to "get back to me". It took time, however, I am back to my normal regimen: weights, dancing and other aerobics.

My cooking has come back to my normally healthful balanced meals.

Is it hard ... damn right it is, but, I love my life and I am determined!!

By the way he still isn't sleeping well.

Hope this helped. Good luck

 

[MissAmelina]

thank you!

Thank you guys so much for the advice. I'm trying not to make the same mistakes I did a few years ago which only led to bad fashion and low self esteem.

I think i'll go pick up some spanx today.
But where would I buy a girdle? Do they work better than spanx?

MissAmelia--I actually am lifting weights, and reading your advice about it made me feel a bit more optimistic

Anytime! Check out the undergarments, Underpinnings etc. thread...TONS of info with opinions about girdles and schtuff. IMHO, Spanx are for a smoother, more natural line and girdles seem to cinch a bit more. Let's just say, Spanx rids you of any "muffin top" and a girdle will give you a waspish waist, depending in the style...but check out the thread....lots o' info.

 

[The Shirt]

I think I have a very similar build and I have a weight swing of about 30 lbs. What I have found that I look best in is fashions from the 40s-50s. I will often buy sundresses and wear a cardigan over them so that my arms are free. Otherwise 3/4 or cap sleeves seem to work best on me. I agree with all the encouragement to wear things that emphasize your waist. I buy my dresses towards my higher end waist measurement (less an 1" or 2") I can usually fit into them with a waist cincher, spanx or what have you. If you find the right pencil skirt - it can actually be very flattering with a fitted top or nice pin-up styled sweater. I also like wide legged pants (40s style) with fitted tops in a lighter color, drawing the attention up. I try to have on a nice accessory around my neck or in my hair so that it draws attention away from the area I hate and towards something I like. I even do this with shoes or handbags too. You have an incredibly pretty face and hair in your avatar. Play those up! I know I am way too hard on myself a lot of days too. But playing up your assets is a great thing to make you feel comfortable in your own skin.

 

[Paisley]

About a year ago my boy turned two. He stopped sleeping. That meant I was up all night with him. Totally screwed me up.

I've read that lack of sleep can impede weight loss.

 

[kyda]

I have started going to exercise classes and watching what I put in my mouth. I had a real Jenny Craig moment when my daughter pointed at my tummy and said "baby tummy". That kind of scared me into action, it is really hard to change and when you are ready to you will. Until then you have to accept who you are and start with small changes. Good luck

 

[cecil]

What about wrap dresses? As well as drawing attention to your little waist they'll draw attention away from lumpy bits. Go diagonals!

That and if i had a little waist and big hips (i'm straight-up-and-down, it sucks), i'd accentuate them hardcore by wearing big full circle skirts with petticoats and good foundation garments to nip my waist in even more.

Also don't forget posture...the easiest way to grow a few inches and lost a few pounds is to stand up straight!

 

[Miss 1929]

We have the same body too!

And I do feel your pain. I went from this (about 118 pounds):

to this (about 190 pounds):

I have only lost 10 of it.

I find that the 50s is not my most flattering sillouette, as I am very short-waisted - for me the best thing is the early to mid 30s as it accents the shoulders, fits the natural waist and then skims over the hips without any details there except maybe a diagonal line (amen to the wrap dress and diagonals!). But you will want to experiment and see what you like best.

And this part of your post really made me sad! "I feel like I don't deserve to dress pretty, like I can't look good"

OF COURSE you deserve to dress pretty! Of course you can look good! Keep in mind that the slim ideal is really only a recent development in human history, and up until the 20s, women were admired who had some meat on their bones! Your inner attitude will go a long ways toward adding sparkle. I know it is hard as we are bombarded by cultural messages all day long about how we should be tiny, but it is really NOT normal for everyone to be a small size. I am not saying to give it up entirely, but I have come to the acceptance that I will never be 118 again - I would be happy at 130. Maybe your ultimate goal is realistic, maybe not, but consider that it could be less far off than you think.

Also, try to give yourself a small goal first. It's easier to lose 5 pounds than the whole 50. Reward yourself with a new Besame lipstick or something like that when you make that goal.

Joining any kind of support group will help tremendously, whether the Biggest Loser here on the Lounge, a local diet group, group therapy, whatever. It is very hard to stick to a diet and exercise program when you feel all alone doing it.

And remember, we are here for you!

 

[Joie DeVive]

The other gals here have had so many great ideas to offer!!
I also tend to think that the New Look of the late 40's and early 50's tends to favor a curvy figure.

The thing I'd like to comment on is negative "self talk", you know, those nasty things we say to ourselves in our heads. Like Miss 1929, I noticed your feeling like you didn't deserve to feel pretty. If you are saying it aloud here, I bet you hear it in your head too. Negative self talk is a demon I've wrestled with quite a bit, but I think it's worth the battle. It makes a world of difference in one's self-esteem.

The first step in correcting it, is to recognize that you are doing it. The more you notice yourself doing it, the easier it will be to correct. Then the next time you catch yourself thinking overly critically about yourself, stop that thought and replace it with something more reasonable.

Here's an example:
Say a person were to make a math error while balancing his/her checkbook. She might automatically think: "I'm so stupid! It's a wonder I don't go broke!" Once she is working to correct that negative self-talk, she could replace it with something more like: "Oops. That wasn't my best math. Perhaps I should double check with a calculator..."

I know it may sound lame, but I think a lot of women run themselves down in their own heads. And to be honest, while you may feel silly correcting your thoughts at first, it becomes a habit, and it will become more and more natural to have positive thoughts about yourself...

 

[maybelaughter]

My body is annoyingly-shaped. I have small boobs, fat arms, big hips and thighs. I do have a waist though, which i am very thankful for.

you sound just like me! i had some food issues when i was in jr high/high school, and gained a lot of weight - lost 40-50 pounds when i went vegan and started being more concerned about health. if your acne is coming back, you might want to cut down on sugar/oily/greasy things and dairy. (not saying 'go vegan', but if you eat a lot of dairy it helps some people with their acne to cut back a bit. i used to be a gallon-a-day milk drinker, and major cheese consumer. weight and acne and allergies went away after i cut it out.)
i've never "excersized", until i started going to college full time and sitting on my bum all day in a classroom and putting on some weight. even then, i just make an effort to be active - bike riding, tennis, and gardening. (but only in the summer - ha) but i'm getting a bit too high on the weight scale myself, and really need to loose about 15-20 pounds to get back to my favorite weight - it's hard when your husband is a culinary genius and brings home goodies from class all the time (late at night...).
our body types sound the same. if i had a larger chest, it would be easier to find things that fit without altering, but i actually like my smallness... [huh]
do you sew at all? i've found the easiest way to buy things is to aim for a great fit on my biggest parts (thighs, upper arms) and alter the rest. (although when an XS fits my chest, and i have to go to a L for my arms, it really bums me out)

i've always felt that 50's style looks the best on this body type. i'm not sure what the right term for it is, but dresses that have gathering (?) attached to a slimmmer waist under the bust instead of darting seem to sort of even out the small chest issue (for me anyway). fuller skirts below that, and you have my idea of a perfect dress. i'm a big fan of above-the elbow sleeves, if they're a bit loose and have a small band at the bottom, i can get away with smaller sizes because there's more room for my 'blacksmith arms' the sort of sleeves that doesn't have a defined seperate seam for the armhole is nice too - dolman? because there's no tightness around the upper arm, and it hides any flaws there while still looking nice. as someone mentioned earlier, cap sleeves or even the sort of sleeveless dress that just pokes over your shoulder a bit work great, esp. paired with a cardigan.
until recently i've always felt full skirts are the only thing i can wear and look decent, but i've been playing around with more 'classic' pieces - somewhere between straight and pencil, but not as tight as more pencil skirts seem to be, auctually work on large hips/thighs, as long as the waist is well defined above. i love tulip skirts, but they might not work on you - they might not really work on me either, but sometimes i really like having awkward proportions in my daily clothing. [huh] i guess i'm learning to love being a pear.

even on the days you just feel icky about yourself - especially on those days - dress up a bit, wear something that you like the fit of and feel comfortable in. you'll feel better by the end of the day, because others will notice and tell you how nice you look! i always wear my prettiest dresses on my ickyest days...

ignore the sizes on clothing - i have things from a size 2 to a 14. if it fits well, that's all that matters.

 

[NicolettaRose]

I think one of the best ways for dressing for any figure and dressing in vintage is to pick an era which puts an emphasis on your "Good parts" and hides your "Not so good parts", dressing in vintage is great because there is really an era for every body type. 1930's is surprisingly flattering on a lot of people, the bias cut is very flattering, if you have a small waist, I would go with 50's or 40's with a belt, if you want something to hide it all, I would go with 20's. Also if you are into REALLY vintage, you could also try Edwardian, that is very forgiving and flattering.

 

[rosierawhyde]

I am 5'7 and weigh 152 (I weighed myself today). I have never weighed less than 145. Yet I have always struggled with weight, mostly from being in the Air Force and constantly being told I was over weight. I hated exercising when I HAD to.

Now that I am out, and am fortunate to work for a company that has a gym in the building, I try to do at least 30 mins of cardio 3 to 4 times a week. I don’t feel like I am over weight. I like curves and feel very comfy in my skin. I have found that if I exercise to lift my mood, I don’t care how much I weigh. The perk to this is eventually the clothes start to fit better, it might not be the pounds moving but the inches change. I feel better (and stay out of work drama by sneaking away at lunch) and it’s made me start thinking better about myself because I know I am doing it for myself.

I don’t know if I really have a goal but mentally I have felt better than I do when I don’t exercise.