Vintage Things That Have Disappeared In Your Lifetime?

[jamespowers]

Exactly!

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Only one of the three is married, that's my buddy who I spend the most time with.

The other two are only girlfriended, one of them is in a living together situation with his better-half. The only time I see him is when she's at work and we aren't.

That is just crazy and obsessive. Sounds like they haven't been married long enough to go completely insane though. lol lol

Well, thanks, I really appreciate that!

Tom you're doing damn fine by my calculations.

 

[jamespowers]

Only one of the three is married, that's my buddy who I spend the most time with.

The other two are only girlfriended, one of them is in a living together situation with his better-half. The only time I see him is when she's at work and we aren't.

The other two don't count as married then. The other obsessive girlfriends are just jealous of whatever time they can't spend. There needs to be some air between the two of them for goodness sake.:eusa_doh:

 

[AtomicEraTom]

Yeah, you'd think they'd wanna at least get out of the house sometime. We used to go on double-dates now and then, but that seems to have died off, too.

Another thing that seems to be disappearing is double-dates and such. You don't really see people on such outings around here.

The other two don't count as married then. The other obsessive girlfriends are just jealous of whatever time they can't spend. There needs to be some air between the two of them for goodness sake.:eusa_doh:

 

[sheeplady]

I think it's also hard when you are a couple to hang out with non-coupled friends and vice versa. Someone ends up being left out (either the spouse or the friend) or feels uncomfortable if it is the three of you. Of course, it's perfectly acceptable to have friends who aren't coupled, but a lot of couples just have difficulty working it out.

This is especially true if the couple's time together is really limited and therefore they want to hang out with each other every chance they get because otherwise they might not be able to spend time together because of work or other commitments. If you're part of a couple, it's easier to hang out and still get quality couple time. Nobody wants to make anyone feel like a third wheel.

 

[jamespowers]

Yeah, you'd think they'd wanna at least get out of the house sometime. We used to go on double-dates now and then, but that seems to have died off, too.

Another thing that seems to be disappearing is double-dates and such. You don't really see people on such outings around here.

Well then the fault if not 100% the girlfriend's then.

I never went on a double date in my life so I wouldn't know much about that.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I know you're speaking in generalities, but I have a specific story that I felt was kind of rude.

I had a New Years party on New Years Eve, and it was a fairly big deal, big turnout and all that. My best friend was the first person to tell me he'd be here, made the plans weeks in advance and all. It was very important to me that him and Sam were coming. They seldom make it, because she always has plans and he has to do what her plans consist of.

I got a call at the last minute that she decided she wanted to do something else and they couldn't come.

I know that story seems like it's going nowhere, but I just think that the whole social scenario of making plans/promises, keeping them, etc, has really been diluted. People seem to forget that if you make a promise to be somewhere, that the other person has probably made food and accommodations for you. It never seemed to happen to my folks in social situations, when I was a kid, but has become more and more prevalent in my own life over the past few years.

Changing of the times or changing of our lives, I'm not sure.

I think it's also hard when you are a couple to hang out with non-coupled friends and vice versa. Someone ends up being left out (either the spouse or the friend) or feels uncomfortable if it is the three of you. Of course, it's perfectly acceptable to have friends who aren't coupled, but a lot of couples just have difficulty working it out.

This is especially true if the couple's time together is really limited and therefore they want to hang out with each other every chance they get because otherwise they might not be able to spend time together because of work or other commitments. If you're part of a couple, it's easier to hang out and still get quality couple time. Nobody wants to make anyone feel like a third wheel.

 

[nice hat dude!]

Hey Tom this is kind of how I figure friends,A friend will come down and bail you out of jail,a good friend will be sitting right beside you helping you figure out what to tell the wife and in the mean time helping plan the next outing.Just my opinion.

 

[Gregg Axley]

Hey Tom this is kind of how I figure friends,A friend will come down and bail you out of jail,a good friend will be sitting right beside you helping you figure out what to tell the wife and in the mean time helping plan the next outing.Just my opinion.

:eusa_clap

I know that friend you speak of, and they would be the reason we both went to jail.

Tom you've hit upon yet another good point.
Promises don't really stand up like they used to these days, you're right.
And with all of the devices to keep one connected, people can learn about a party on the way to a party, and even see pictures of what's going on! Then they can change course because this one seems better at the time. I think part of it is the "I want it now" mentality that those of us growing up with microwaves (for example) have become accustomed to. In my job, if I tell someone "I'll be there" or "I'll do this for you", I'm held accountable to at least 100 people. Often times I can get a call out of the blue reminding me about something I said, and usually I'll say "oh yeah, waiting on you for this one" while I scramble to do what I said before they show. I didn't break my promise, I just forgot.
It's very hard to find someone these days that will hold to their commitment or promise.
Very good point Tom...

 

[sheeplady]

I know you're speaking in generalities, but I have a specific story that I felt was kind of rude.

I had a New Years party on New Years Eve, and it was a fairly big deal, big turnout and all that. My best friend was the first person to tell me he'd be here, made the plans weeks in advance and all. It was very important to me that him and Sam were coming. They seldom make it, because she always has plans and he has to do what her plans consist of.

I got a call at the last minute that she decided she wanted to do something else and they couldn't come.

I know that story seems like it's going nowhere, but I just think that the whole social scenario of making plans/promises, keeping them, etc, has really been diluted. People seem to forget that if you make a promise to be somewhere, that the other person has probably made food and accommodations for you. It never seemed to happen to my folks in social situations, when I was a kid, but has become more and more prevalent in my own life over the past few years.

Changing of the times or changing of our lives, I'm not sure.

Well, that's just rude. And not to insult your friend, but he surely could have said to his girlfriend "Look, I said we're going to this party, so if you don't want to go it's fine, but I'm planning on going." I'd fault him for being weak willed as much as I'd fault the girlfriend for being bossy.

I rarely back out of a social commitment unless I'm sick or have something really really important to do. Like, for instance, work. Even then I do my best to keep my social arrangements.

 

[ThemThereEyes]

Well, that's just rude. And not to insult your friend, but he surely could have said to his girlfriend "Look, I said we're going to this party, so if you don't want to go it's fine, but I'm planning on going." I'd fault him for being weak willed as much as I'd fault the girlfriend for being bossy.

I rarely back out of a social commitment unless I'm sick or have something really really important to do. Like, for instance, work. Even then I do my best to keep my social arrangements.

You beat me to it! I thought exactly the same as i read that scenario. The guy should've stood up for himself. They could have each gone to their respective parties or hit up both. Two people in a relationship, so why is only one person getting her way? Compromise.
I am the same, unless something important comes up, or one of my children or I get sick, I stay firm to what i said I'll do. It doesn't matter if there are last minute glimpses of another event. We are in control of our own actions.
I am very sorry that you had to experience such inconsideration, Tom, and from your best friend to boot.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

That's how I feel about it. Compromise is very important. The 'my way or the highway' mentality sure has dominated, as of late. Instead of going to my place, they went to the casino, which my best friend was sick over. The better-half has a gambling problem.

Thank you for your sympathy. I'm not trying to air my woes in the 'vintage things' thread, but I feel that oftentimes things in my life that I find irritating can be traced to things we took for granted in the past having gone the way of the dinosaur.

They could have each gone to their respective parties or hit up both. Two people in a relationship, so why is only one person getting her way? Compromise.

I am very sorry that you had to experience such inconsideration, Tom, and from your best friend to boot.

I agree. All the guys I know say 'how high' when their girlfriends say 'jump.' It shouldn't be that way, or vise versa. What happened to working together?

Obviously anybody will understand if something serious comes up that you have to cancel a commitment over. If they don't they're just as inconsiderate.

Well, that's just rude. And not to insult your friend, but he surely could have said to his girlfriend "Look, I said we're going to this party, so if you don't want to go it's fine, but I'm planning on going." I'd fault him for being weak willed as much as I'd fault the girlfriend for being bossy.

I rarely back out of a social commitment unless I'm sick or have something really really important to do. Like, for instance, work. Even then I do my best to keep my social arrangements.

 

[dnjan]

The problem, Tom, is that you are a nice guy. And these days, (in many instances), nice guy = schmuck.
I'm sure that if your friend had thought that you would be really upset by their not showing up at your event, he would have been more insistent with the boss. But "Tom's a nice guy, it will be OK" was probably the over-riding sentiment.

So, (back on-topic), a vintage thing that seems to have disappeared is nice guys being appreciated (instead of taken advantage of).

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

All the guys I know say 'how high' when their girlfriends say 'jump.' It shouldn't be that way, or vise versa. What happened to working together?

I'll bet they can be found at Walmart holding their girlfriend's purse while the latter shops.
To them I dedicate this song

Carlo Buti -- Vivere! (1937)
(To Live!)

[video=youtube;DY7I6QdPkYU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY7I6QdPkYU[/video]

Lyrics (translation)

What a magnificent day! What a day to celebrate!
My girl has left me, I'm free at last!
I've got my life back and I intend to enjoy it.
when she left she said she wouldn't come back

Now I can live without misery
Live without jealousy
With no regrets and no concerns about love
I can enjoy the flowers, enjoy life and still my feelings

I can laugh and be happy
I can laugh at a foolish world
I can live while I am still young
Because life is beautiful and I want to live more of it

Women want you to act in the comedy of love
They want you to play the romantic lead
But when the curtain comes down in Act Three
Your're faced with reality, her romantic drama is a farce

Live! even if you feel a little nostalgic
I'm not bitter any more
I'm happy for the guy who took her away
To live while I'm young because life is beautiful

 

[John in Covina]

This one is a huge one with me, and lately it has weighed heavily on my mind.
I have friends that are less becoming so because they seem to view me more as what I've discovered is called a "backup friend." Despite my own busyness, with being a single parent to small children, full time school, and part time work, I make efforts to stay in contact and to get together. Even if it is for just a short meeting for coffee and a movie, lunch, or what have you, I really look forward to fulfilling those plans. I understand cancelling for legitimate reasons as life happens.
However, more and more, I get flaked on. Here will come the day of said plans and the "friend" will either cancel with some excuse, or send a quick text a couple of days prior stating they had forgotten they had plans for being out of town! I've even had one not call at all, but then I discovered she instead went to lunch with a group of coworkers for one of their birthdays. The very same coworkers about whom she'd rant to me. That same person never answers her phone either, but hits the "ignore" button on me when I call. I have stopped making plans with the people that do this (because it was more than a once or twice thing), those that I thought valued my friendship as I did theirs.
It's all a bit depressing and I feel like I am the last of a dying breed.

Life tends to intercede more easily on some people. One thing to consider is a combination of the type of excuse and the number of times a person or couple has reneged on a promise to come. At some point your best bet is to drop them from your invite list. If you are important to them then they will attempt to reconnect at some point. Seems harsh but the disappointment of crafting a party or dinner or get together of some type and having people find something better to do after saying they will come is well a bit heartwrenching. Here in Southern California people will ditch coming to catered wedding receptions with out any regard to the expense, even if it is a sibling's wedding, so don't feel alone. We live in a world where convenience is the over riding factor for the shallow and the self obsesed.

The best bet is to find friends that share hobbies and passions, they seem to have a better ability to enjoy the company of like minded people and will show up more often when invitied.

I find that i like to throw Pot luck parties like BBQ's you invite everyone and ask them to bring food or drink to make the party, that way the expense is not totally yours to absorb. If a few show up they have a vested interest in the party by what they have brought and the more the merrier. There will always be those that have some type of retecense about coming (especially if it is their first time) so you can't say it's a one strike type of offense.

I have written about this phenomenone previously and saw the trend to blow off friends early on in Southern California.

There was a time when if you RSVP'd it was considered a blood oath. Now it's no big deal.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Soon to disappear: grown-adult signatures on our nation's currency.

Our new Treasury Secretary, ladies and gentleman, coming soon to the lower-right-hand-corner of paper money near you.

 

[Touchofevil]

The ability/desire/want to focus on driving while driving a motor vehicle. It infuriates me to share the road with those who would rather text/read/lookie loo/converse on a phone or with a passenger and not focus the majority of their energy on driving safely. I am pretty certain it has gotten much worse over time as I seem to remember a time when people were only preoccupied with their car radios.

 

[Touchofevil]

Soon to disappear: grown-adult signatures on our nation's currency.

Our new Treasury Secretary, ladies and gentleman, coming soon to the lower-right-hand-corner of paper money near you.

Well, I can see the "J" and the "o" but the rest is either gibberish or more "o's."

 

[nice hat dude!]

The ability/desire/want to focus on driving while driving a motor vehicle. It infuriates me to share the road with those who would rather text/read/lookie loo/converse on a phone or with a passenger and not focus the majority of their energy on driving safely. I am pretty certain it has gotten much worse over time as I seem to remember a time when people were only preoccupied with their car radios.

Touch,I've been saying this for as long as I've been a Trucker 16 years now,I can tell you the minute the cell phone rings and the minute the conversation is over just by following some of these people.My buddies ask me why I don't own a cell and I tell them that when I figure out how to attach it to the gas pedal I'll buy one,and if you can't find an extra 5 minutes that it would take to make a call because your in to big of a hurry for whatever reason you need a new job.Truckers have been using CB radios"safely"for as long as I can remember why can we manage to do this and others can't talk on a phone and drive,this has always confused me as I can not answer it?

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Soon to disappear: grown-adult signatures on our nation's currency.

Our new Treasury Secretary, ladies and gentleman, coming soon to the lower-right-hand-corner of paper money near you.

At least he didn't draw a smiley face.