maggiethespy
A-List Customer
- Messages
- 415
- Location
- DFW- Texas
I am frustrated. I am frustrated and I believe that a great deal of this is all of my fault. I feel like I have been beating my head against a brick wall for the last five months, and I can't manage to knock myself out.
If this is not allowed, I'll gladly have it deleted, but I'm taking advantage of this place to rant, and I'm interested commentary on the subject of dating now as compared to the past.
I have been, through the aid of Myspace, been "talking" through a ridiculous relationship with a fellow I met in a class last semester. I met him early in the year and there seemed to be instant chemistry and not just on my part-- I was asked several times through the course of our class if the chap and I were an item. We chatted daily, enjoyed many of the same hobbies, and it seemed that the attraction between us was mutual. He just never seemed to want to make a move.
I have not had many good experiences in the dating world, and on my mentors advice, I shrugged off my previously mousy persona and attempted to reinvent myself. I took initiative and asked the boy to get a cup of coffee with me. His response was, "I totally would, but I kind of have a girlfriend." I completely shrugged his comment off at first, thinking that it was a little odd that he never mentioned her in our many conversations before. It was only about an hour and a half later that I realized what he said. He "kind of" had a girlfriend, which is something I equate to being "kind of" pregnant or "kind of" dead. In the end, he explained it away as he and his girlfriend were going through a "trial separation" and he didn't want to anger her. Eventually, they broke up.
After some awkward conversation and avoidance, I found a message from him in my Myspace inbox, asking how I was doing. This little message became about 2 months of flirtatious messages and three weeks of multi-hour late night phone conversations. And then one day, it all stopped. About a month ago he started messaging me again. Turns out he had met a new girl and only began to message me again when no one was interested in him. I've kept up this conversation and it's even turned into another week of late-night phone calls. I'm crying as I type this because honestly, it feels just terrible realizing how stupid I've been. I was so upset when he stopped contacting the first time, and I'm just worried he's going to stop doing it and I'll feel worthless again.
Now, I'm really starting to feel like I'm being led on. We talk on the phone for hours and he constantly compares me to previous girl friends. I feel like he has an upper hand on me and is using it to lead me on-- he knows that I am attracted to him, but I actually have no conformation that he reciprocates my feelings. I feel like I've gotten really close to him, but perhaps he's merely faking it all.
Now, in the past I've never been one to get the boys running in my direction. I'm fairly tall at 5'7", and I've always been curvy, maybe even a little chubby. I don't get much attention from men, so when he talks to me, it really makes me feel like I'm worth something. Then, he brings up some other girl, and my self esteem comes crashing down. I just don't know what to do.
All the whining aside, I feel like this situation is one of purely modern situations. Somehow, I don't see it happening in the Golden Age, seeing as Myspace didn't exist and women weren't really encouraged to do the asking.
Is this all my fault? Did I bring this all on myself by taking the initiative to be a "modern woman" and make the first move? Did that intimidate him or maybe make him feel like less of a man?
Would anything like this have every happened before the internet and Women's lib?
What should I do? Is it best to just ignore him completely or should I explain how I feel?
Who is the real shmuck here?
If this is not allowed, I'll gladly have it deleted, but I'm taking advantage of this place to rant, and I'm interested commentary on the subject of dating now as compared to the past.
I have been, through the aid of Myspace, been "talking" through a ridiculous relationship with a fellow I met in a class last semester. I met him early in the year and there seemed to be instant chemistry and not just on my part-- I was asked several times through the course of our class if the chap and I were an item. We chatted daily, enjoyed many of the same hobbies, and it seemed that the attraction between us was mutual. He just never seemed to want to make a move.
I have not had many good experiences in the dating world, and on my mentors advice, I shrugged off my previously mousy persona and attempted to reinvent myself. I took initiative and asked the boy to get a cup of coffee with me. His response was, "I totally would, but I kind of have a girlfriend." I completely shrugged his comment off at first, thinking that it was a little odd that he never mentioned her in our many conversations before. It was only about an hour and a half later that I realized what he said. He "kind of" had a girlfriend, which is something I equate to being "kind of" pregnant or "kind of" dead. In the end, he explained it away as he and his girlfriend were going through a "trial separation" and he didn't want to anger her. Eventually, they broke up.
After some awkward conversation and avoidance, I found a message from him in my Myspace inbox, asking how I was doing. This little message became about 2 months of flirtatious messages and three weeks of multi-hour late night phone conversations. And then one day, it all stopped. About a month ago he started messaging me again. Turns out he had met a new girl and only began to message me again when no one was interested in him. I've kept up this conversation and it's even turned into another week of late-night phone calls. I'm crying as I type this because honestly, it feels just terrible realizing how stupid I've been. I was so upset when he stopped contacting the first time, and I'm just worried he's going to stop doing it and I'll feel worthless again.
Now, I'm really starting to feel like I'm being led on. We talk on the phone for hours and he constantly compares me to previous girl friends. I feel like he has an upper hand on me and is using it to lead me on-- he knows that I am attracted to him, but I actually have no conformation that he reciprocates my feelings. I feel like I've gotten really close to him, but perhaps he's merely faking it all.
Now, in the past I've never been one to get the boys running in my direction. I'm fairly tall at 5'7", and I've always been curvy, maybe even a little chubby. I don't get much attention from men, so when he talks to me, it really makes me feel like I'm worth something. Then, he brings up some other girl, and my self esteem comes crashing down. I just don't know what to do.
All the whining aside, I feel like this situation is one of purely modern situations. Somehow, I don't see it happening in the Golden Age, seeing as Myspace didn't exist and women weren't really encouraged to do the asking.
Is this all my fault? Did I bring this all on myself by taking the initiative to be a "modern woman" and make the first move? Did that intimidate him or maybe make him feel like less of a man?
Would anything like this have every happened before the internet and Women's lib?
What should I do? Is it best to just ignore him completely or should I explain how I feel?
Who is the real shmuck here?
