The Yoga Pants trend

[Edward]

I'm not saying that he has to wear a tux, but he can buy a suit at the thrift store for between 8 and 12 dollars. It is going to be a formal wedding, too. Her family is quite wealthy and they want for her to have a formal wedding, he's just not willing to play ball.

More often than not, it's not what you wear, but how you wear it. One academic conference I attend annually (for an organisation of which I am now the chair), there are plenty of folks there in jeans and a tshirt, and plenty of us in collar and tie. It matters not a jot which people are comfortable in. Indeed, the only person I ever recall it being an issue with was a guy who turned up a couple of years running in flip flops, a ratty-tshirt, and ripped jeans. Nobody else cared what he was wearing - the problem was the he so obviously did, and was desperate to project an attitude of "I'm not like you squares!". I'm not offended by people like that, but boy do I find them tedious.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think it pretty much boils down to rebellion for the sake of rebellion. Showing up at a wedding or an interview in slobby clothes is a way of flicking a spitball in The Man's eye, just because you can. Nobody's the Boss of Me, nosiree, I'm my Own Person. Just like all these other Own Persons over here.

And you're right, this whole institutionalized irreverence thing really is a tedious cliche. If you're really going to rebel against oppressive sameness, do something meaningful: blow up a cell phone store or hijack a cable network, don't swank around in goofy pants and expect me to take you seriously.

 

[DesertDan]

Rebels without a cause.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

For some reason many of the so-called "rebels" I've encountered don't seem to like it when I point out that a real rebel is willing to give their life for what they believe in.

 

[1961MJS]

I wore a $7 dress to my elopement ceremony which was under ten minutes. I'm still married 13 years later.

Oh well, it WAS a theory and I only had one data point. The other weddings that I attended lasted at least an hour. Glad it's lasted.

Later

 

[1961MJS]

... Her family is quite wealthy and they want for her to have a formal wedding, he's just not willing to play ball.

That would indicate that the marriage is already over. Parent's want, he's not willing to play ball.

Not trying to be a spoil sport or anything, but if it's obvious to ME, an engineer with an engineer's people skills...

 

[Pompidou]

That would indicate that the marriage is already over. Parent's want, he's not willing to play ball.

Not trying to be a spoil sport or anything, but if it's obvious to ME, an engineer with an engineer's people skills...

My position is, the parents had their wedding already, presumably how they wanted it, so, the only two people with any say in the current wedding should be the bride and groom. If the bride says she wants the formal wedding, I agree the marriage is off to a bad start. If the bride and groom want an informal thing, and it's just the parents saying, "that's not how we'd get married", well, again, they got married their way. It's not their wedding. If the bride agrees with the groom, their marriage has as good a shot as any, or about 50% of succeeding.

 

[sheeplady]

My position is, the parents had their wedding already, presumably how they wanted it, so, the only two people with any say in the current wedding should be the bride and groom. If the bride says she wants the formal wedding, I agree the marriage is off to a bad start. If the bride and groom want an informal thing, and it's just the parents saying, "that's not how we'd get married", well, again, they got married their way. It's not their wedding. If the bride agrees with the groom, their marriage has as good a shot as any, or about 50% of succeeding.

Sadly, many weddings are not run by the couple getting married. I have rarely been to a wedding where the mother of the bride didn't do at least one major thing in the wedding that wasn't her daughter's first choice. Since her mother did it to them, the mother does it to her daughters. And they are paying for it, so they think "why not?"

I have several friends who didn't even have any say towards the reception and were prohibited from doing any of the planning.

 

[Flicka]

I bet tons of people think I'm being 'oh so special' when they see me wearing vintage styles. Bet they're rolling their eyes behind my back. But then, I couldn't be less interested in what they think of my clothes. If they dislike them, it's a sign of their own poor taste. And if they want to underestimate me because of what I wear, they do so at their own peril.

Personally, I sneer at people who dress in bad taste, because clearly, their taste sucks and to me, taste matters. I don't dismiss them because I think they're lazy or slobs. I just think "Gee, that guy has chosen to look like a complete dork. What a dork." And you know, I do that based on my own aesthetic standards. I don't care if the rest of the world is wearing it these days or if it's "appropriate". It's still a sign of your poor taste. And yes, this probably makes me bigoted and rude and gives me bad karma and whatnot. But I bet you couldn't tell that about me just from my clothes!

To quote Oscar Wilde, fashion is what one wears oneself. What is unfashionable is what other people wear. And frankly, that works well enough for me.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

Maybe this is just me but in my mind an informal wedding still rates in the very least a dress shirt and tie. If you want to wear jeans with that, fine. But I would never dream of wearing a camouflage T-shirt to a wedding, formal or informal!

 

[Pompidou]

To quote Oscar Wilde, fashion is what one wears oneself. What is unfashionable is what other people wear. And frankly, that works well enough for me.

I like that.

 

[sheeplady]

Maybe this is just me but in my mind an informal wedding still rates in the very least a dress shirt and tie. If you want to wear jeans with that, fine. But I would never dream of wearing a camouflage T-shirt to a wedding, formal or informal!

I know a couple who got married in a jean dress (her) and a pair of jean overalls (him). They also got married in their yard under a tree with wildflowers picked from their land. But they were self-identified "country people" who didn't like to "put on airs." Their wedding cost the preacher, the license, and the homemade food they laid out on their picnic table.

 

[Son_of_Atropos]

Well, I dunno. I don't think a person with an essentially conservative nature (and I don't mean politically conservative, but rather a person who doesn't rush to adopt change and "the new" for the sake of its newness) is likely to furnish their home in those avant-garde chairs that nobody can actually sit on, and drape their windows with Nomex mesh. If you walk into the home of a person like that there's a pretty good chance their furniture and overall decor will reflect their nature pretty well. And the opposite as well - a person of avant-garde tastes isn't particularly likely to have Grandma's early-American couch in a place of honor in their living room.

I think you can draw some basic conclusions about people from their clothing in the same way -- I don't suggest you can define everything about them, but the fact that they like to dress a certain way is going to tell me a few things about them. If I see a kid going around dressed in some wild punk-looking outfit I'm not going to assume he's a devoted opera fan. He might be, but I think there's a pretty reasonable chance that he isn't. If somebody walks down the street in an ankle-length skirt with a crocheted white cap on the back of their head, I'm going to assume she's a Mennonite, or at least an adherent of some similar sect. She might just be dressing that way to be ironic, and might actually be covered from neck to ankle with tattoos, but the odds are that she isn't. If a man comes down the street in a suit and tie, carrying a briefcase, I'm going to assume that he's a lawyer, a salesman, a business executive of some kind, or is about to offer me the latest issue of The Watchtower. I may be wrong, he might be a performance artist or a drug dealer making a call on a particularly fastidious client, but the odds are that he isn't.

And if he's naked, I'm going to assume he's either an exhibitionist or a salt-head. Either way, I'm gonna call the cops. After I get done laughing, of course.

Exactly. If someone purchases something. Then they either a) want it or b) need it.* If they want something, then they must like it, for whatever reason. Therefore, when I see someone with say a Metallica t-shirt, then I assume they like the band. Generally this applies to lots of things. And most of the time it is correct. If they buy something and later discover they no longer like it. Then said article occupies the back of the closet.

The problem with this "do what you want" attitude is that the candle is burning brightly for the masses. It is cheaper, easier, and I assume more profitable to make cheap clothing that you can throw away after a few years. Because, hey, its just clothing, who cares. This means quality decreases along with price (depending on demand). If you want a quality piece of clothing then the price is going to increase because it costs more to make it and there is relatively little demand. This is why I have to purchase MTM or bespoke clothing instead of OTR (actually its mostly because I am not a typical OTR size; however, I do like the option of picking the lapels, style, color, and fabric of my suit).

This problem is going to get worse and not improve. I don't want to get into the politics but I read recently that either the U.S. President or one of the presidential candidates did not want to wear a tuxedo because he believed it may alienate voters because he would appear elitist. Great. Does this mean that I will have to dress down so I don't hurt anyone's feelings. I hope not.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

He should play ball, it's not just parents want, she wants. They're from different classes. She's a classy gal, in college to be a doctor, well educated, her father's a professor. I've been close friends with the two of them since well before they were an item.

He's just an average lower middle-class guy. He works about 25 feet from me at the plant and spends his free time playing video games and such.

I just think if she wants a nice wedding, he should play ball, if the family does, he should, too. They've more or less treated him as a member of their family for years. Just like with dressing proper, it comes down to a level of respect.

That would indicate that the marriage is already over. Parent's want, he's not willing to play ball.

On the issue of formal wear, my friend's mother as asked me to be a pall bearer, and I plan on talking to her tomorrow about whether or not she wants me in a suit and tie or if slacks and a black jacket will suffice. I don't want to overdo or underdo it.

 

[Flicka]

Maybe this is just me but in my mind an informal wedding still rates in the very least a dress shirt and tie. If you want to wear jeans with that, fine. But I would never dream of wearing a camouflage T-shirt to a wedding, formal or informal!

Neither would I, but I've seen worse. In Sweden, if you don't want a religious cermony, the most common place to get married is by a judge at the municipal court. So when I worked there I was regularly drafted as a witness (I couldn't marry people, but I could divorce them, which is a rather peculiar distinction) and I got to see all kinds of couples - from the two women who got married in lovely white dresses to sweatpants. My favourite was the couple who halfway through the cermony asked the officiant to speed up because they wanted to be able to catch the 2.35 bus.

People approach marriage differently, but I do think the belligerent signal inherent in a camo t-shirt is more than a little wrong. And not being willing to compromise to make your partner happy, that's an ungorgiveable faux-pas and frankly, not a good omen for the marriage. It's one day, for crying out loud. Man up and just do it.

 

[HoundstoothLuke]

Rebels without a clue.

There, fixed it for you. No charge.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

My issue has little to do with what is proper or not and more to do with putting thought into something and respecting others.

My elopement ceremony was beautiful to me and my husband even though I wore an inexpensive dress. It was lovely. We were very broke at the time and it was the best we could do and we planned it that way. Our Justice of the Peace showed up UNSHAVEN. That bugged us. Months later we had a semi-formal reception (I saved for a dress) and it irked me when some guests showed up in casual attire. It's one thing to show up to MY ceremony as I please but quite another to show up to someone else's in inappropriate attire.

Back to yoga pants, pajamas et al, what really bugs me is that very few people seem to look in the mirror and ask themselves: "Does this flatter me?"

 

[Flicka]

My issue has little to do with what is proper or not and more to do with putting thought into something and respecting others.

My elopement ceremony was beautiful to me and my husband even though I wore an inexpensive dress. It was lovely. We were very broke at the time and it was the best we could do and we planned it that way. Our Justice of the Peace showed up UNSHAVEN. That bugged us. Months later we had a semi-formal reception (I saved for a dress) and it irked me when some guests showed up in casual attire. It's one thing to show up to MY ceremony as I please but quite another to show up to someone else's in inappropriate attire.

Back to yoga pants, pajamas et al, what really bugs me is that very few people seem to look in the mirror and ask themselves: "Does this flatter me?"

I agree. When you're invited somewhere, it's not all about you. If it's formal, wear a suit. If it's masquerade wear a masque. Try to figure out (or ask, it's what I do) what the hosts want and just wear it. Don't make a statement. Throw your own party and have the dresscode whatever you want.

Good manners are about making others feel comfortable. Good taste is about looking good while doing it.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

On the subject of camo... :doh:

 

[Link]

On the subject of camo... :doh:

I can't tell where his bad taste ends and where her's begins!