The Vintage Suitor

[MrNewportCustom]

If I roll too far starboard, I hit a refrigerator.
I'm serious! I have a 4.4 cubic foot fridge as a bedside table.


Lee
________________________

Ante up, gents!

 

[Diamondback]

I actually end up sleeping on the office floor a lot, so that explains mine. (Ever had a virus scan take eight hours? I have... and that's just a "quick" one on the laptop, and those and defrags usually need me "riding herd" on 'em, so...)

Needless to say, I don't think any prospective sweetie will be seeing the inside of the Lair anytime soon...lol

 

[MrNewportCustom]

At least you have a lair. All I have is a cave. And a small one, at that.


Lee
________________________

Women don't appreciate sleeping on rocks.

 

[Miss Lucy June]

At least you have a lair.

:: Dr. Evil voice :: An evil lair?

 

[reetpleat]

I think you're confusing being a modern woman with being unsafe and tasteless. They don't go hand in hand. I would certainly never get involved with someone who slept around like that!

Agree and disagree. I think that a modern woman is free to choose how she will behave. I don't think the past was as free of casual sex and drugs in bathrooms and back alleys as some people want to think. People choose their values and that is all good, past and present.

On the other hand, I have no problem with a woman who has had sex with other people, even many other people. Sex partners has nothing to do with how I judge what I am looking for in a woman.

And my relationships have had plenty of love and romance. But holding doors open or abstaining from sex has nothing to do with it.

 

[reetpleat]

I dunno how to say this and have it sound right, but some of that stuff (bills and beds should NOT be in that close a proximity, but okay...) sounds like it a good deal for BOTH parties if done correctly.

And I don't mind cooking if he doesn't mind a lot of rare meat and things in the pasta family.

-Viola

I agree. Why is taht an advantage to him and not to her? In fact, what is it exactly taht the woman wants from him. Why is the committment to do this forever change this all for the woman? I find this idea rather odd and archaic. Now if you are talking about just sharing the bed, I guess I can understand that idea, but I don't really see sex as something women should only do in exchange for a ring anyway.

 

[reetpleat]

The problem comes up when (if) one party (typically the woman) sees this as a step towards marriage and the other party (typically the man) sees it as a means of avoiding it.


I don't get it. Do women want men to only marry them because that is the only way they will get he woman to live with them? Or would they rather the man actually want to share their lives with them? This whole trading affection for committment does not work for me. These days many women come to relationships owning real estate, working good jobs and having savings. The days of the man leaving the woman destitute while he takes his lucrative career are long over.

 

[reetpleat]

I am coming a little late, but I want to weigh in on the who asks and who pays question.

Firstly, I think women have a certain advantage to not asking, and saying it makes me feel sleazy or I don't want to meet a guy who isn't bold enough to ask me out are easy cop outs. Of course no one says a woman has to ask a guy out if they don't want.

But it bring a certain disadvantage too. When women compalin that no one asks them out or they never meet the guys they want to meet, they need only look so far as the current dynamic.

If a guy complains, he gets no sympaty and is told he just has to be bold and put himself out there. I agree. I would never rely on beng asked out. I want to choose who I meet or date. I would advise anyone who wants to take control of who they meet or date to make the effort to ask, and yes, face rejection. But also gain a rea ladvantage.

As fa as paying, I usually just ask a woman out for coffee or drinks. I don't do the whole dinner thing. I usually pay for the first round or maybe two rounds. Because I realize that women tend to have it so ingrained that I don't want to hurt my chances. But at heart, I think any woman who would seriously look askance at me for not paying is someone who i don't really want to date. I want a partner, not a mooch.

And as far as the "the person who asks should pay." line goes, that is pretty easy to say when you are the gender who doesn't do the asking. it is kind if disenguine to me. I would have more respect if you just said, "I don't want to pay and expect the guy to." But not much.

 

[Rica Chez]

That's very sweet! It reminds me of when I first met my boyfriend and his house was a little less chaotic (now his sister and her 3 kids live with him and their parents), and I would be able to help out with the dishes (now it's just too insane all the time). My boyfriend's mom would be there too doing other stuff and while I was doing the dishes my boyfriend, who was also cleaning, would sneak me a kiss when she wasn't looking. Very cute!

Thats what its all about to me!!! Its not about sex or anything like that... I absolutely love that surprise stolen kiss or exchanging a secret loving glance! I totally agree with you! Plus I just need to be always be doing something... So I just enjoy doing stuff with my partner...

I was brought up that you date to find a partner in life. And once the relationship is serious, you're not always going to be doing the fun stuff in life... mind you, thats just me. I was also brought up that you never give up in showing your Love how much you appreciate them by other romantic gestures...

However... I would still enjoy being taken out to dance or out for a nice romantic dinner... I'm not dead you know... lol

 

[Pink Dahlia]

Lemme see now . . .

1) I like funny. (Just give me time to warm up) lol
2) I'm not the best dresser - nothing vintage, yet - but I do clean up nicely.
3) I'm reasonably intelligent.
4) I agree.
5) I do.
6) I don't.


Lee
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And don't forget the lady's chair, men.

Yeah but are you handsome? That fella in your avatar looks a little rough around the edges! lol

 

[pigeon toe]

Agree and disagree. I think that a modern woman is free to choose how she will behave. I don't think the past was as free of casual sex and drugs in bathrooms and back alleys as some people want to think. People choose their values and that is all good, past and present.

On the other hand, I have no problem with a woman who has had sex with other people, even many other people. Sex partners has nothing to do with how I judge what I am looking for in a woman.

And my relationships have had plenty of love and romance. But holding doors open or abstaining from sex has nothing to do with it.

I was trying to think of a way of saying this, but you hit the nail on the head for me! That's exactly how I feel. And though I have only had one partner, my best friend has had many, and she is a hopeless romantic, beautiful, charming, smart and talented. I would hope that no man would look down on her for doing something that is considered perfectly normal for men to do -- sleep around.

 

[Jovan]

What I meant was, people in general who lead irresponsible sex lives. Male or female. Not an attractive quality. I'm fine with the fact that people have made mistakes, but when they deliberately just do it with anyone that's around... it's just not my bag. Sorry. I could get into more things like avoiding contraception and whatnot but that's pretty obvious.

I say this because I dated someone who did that. She was also heavy into drug addiction. Any addiction, including a sexual addiction, can be pretty destructive to a relationship. Especially when she wanted to take my virginity and I simply was not ready a week into it. Then rumours were spreading that she had done certain things with me that... never happened... and I realized I fell in with someone completely opposite of who I wanted. She asked me out. I'm still flattered she did. That's an extreme case to be sure, but it has not coloured my opinion of the type of women who ask out men. But when someone has a reputation for sleeping with ANYONE, I worry for her health safety as well as mine, and what other kinds of decisions she's made.

I'm going to go the extra mile (and the controversial one) and say that gender roles are getting kind of blurred now... for the better I think. Thus, I do not think it's wrong for women to take initiative when they should. Neither am I saying I shouldn't. I definitely need to more often! Either one should go for it if they're not sure what the other is feeling. I know this sounds egotistic, but I feel that if I hadn't missed my chance two years ago, this one girl I know could be way different. Right now, she's pretty much become like my ex described earlier. She used to be so good. So, even if it DOESN'T become a lasting relationship, it hurts to know you could have made an impact on someone's life when they say later that they had a serious crush on you.

Whoa, that was a lot of writing.

 

[reetpleat]

What I meant was, people in general who lead irresponsible sex lives. Male or female. Not an attractive quality. I'm fine with the fact that people have made mistakes, but when they deliberately just do it with anyone that's around... it's just not my bag. Sorry.

Well, no need to appologize for your preferene. That is your right. But you still can't resist slipping in some judgement.

I do not see sex as irresponsible, nor do I consider more than maybe one or two of my experiences as a mistake. I do not see sex as a mistake for women either, unless they are doing it for the wrong reasons or gainst their better judgement.

I am sorry you got mixed up with a drug anddict and/or a sex addict. But that in no way means that all women or men who have an active sex lives are bad news. You are taking one person and projecting it onto everyone else.

Any ddiction is a bad thing, and is doing it for the wrong reasons. Anything you do should be a conscious choice.

But you certainly have aright to decide for yourself, and you certainly have a right to think it is wrong or irresponsible. But please recognize that is not a given for others.

 

[Diamondback]

:: Dr. Evil voice :: An evil lair?

Hey, it ain't much--my current "rattler's den" is only three rooms in a doublewide : bedroom/storage, office/computer-lab/library (a former bedroom), and bathroom. Oh, and a rat's nest of cables, and old books and magazines stacked to about 4' off the floor. I got big plans, though...

And a serious +1 on the importance of a "partnership"--I'd rather have someone actively participating in sharing the "ride" through life with me, rather than just a "passenger" along to passively observe.

On sex, I'm not taking one side or the other.

 

[Roger]

Nothing is wrong with a girl feeling it's sleezy to ask a man out. Some women are more shy and feminine and others are loud and boisterous. Heck, back in my single days in the late '70s there were loud mouthed women who'd ask a guy out or when approached at he dance floor; "well it's about time, what took you so long?"lol

 

[Jovan]

That's... a bit stereotyping. I know women who are outspoken about everything else but won't ask people out.

 

[Paisley]

Some states recognize Common Law Marriage.

Colorado is one, but just living together doesn't create a common law marriage.

 

[Harp]

Colorado is one, but just living together doesn't create a common law marriage.

Understood. However, cohabitation together with the appearance, expression,
or implied intent of such as to give reasonable claim can legally establish this
status in states that recognize Common Law Marriage.

 

[Paisley]

Indeed. My boss's stepdaughter had to go through a divorce, even though she never took wedding vows.

 

[Lesvinyl]

Well tonight I'm asking out this guy from work that I like. I have never done this before but I'll let you all know how it worked for me. Wish me luck!