The Vintage Suitor

[pigeon toe]

No gifts, no love songs, no poems.

All I need is a guy who can make me laugh until I feel like I'm gonna pass out. Thoughtfulness, intelligence and a unique personality are plusses too!

 

[Lesvinyl]

Exactly. I don't discount that it may help doing those two after you've gotten to know her a while, but with many women, "suiting" like that doesn't exactly go over well. Times have changed, for the better I think. We can socialize with women casually. There's little need to be a real suitor these days.

There isnt a real need but it would set you apart. I would be very impressed to actually meet a gentleman cause the men around here are nothing short of pigs. Respect for a lady is number one. The poem idea is a bit cheesy but what's wrong with bringing the lady some flowers?

 

[Jovan]

I consider myself a gentleman, and I don't mind the flowers... given I've gone out on a couple of dates or know her well beforehand. The love songs/poems or chocolates thing is going a little far though.

 

[panamag8or]

I consider myself a gentleman, and I don't mind the flowers... given I've gone out on a couple of dates or know her well beforehand. The love songs/poems or chocolates thing is going a little far though.

Sounds like the words of someone who hasn't been in a long-term relationship.

 

[pigeon toe]

I consider myself a gentleman, and I don't mind the flowers... given I've gone out on a couple of dates or know her well beforehand. The love songs/poems or chocolates thing is going a little far though.

Now I'm a chocoholic, so giving me chocolates is definitely not going too far! In fact, it's a sure way of getting me into bed (kidding, kidding )!

I'm still not down with the love songs/poems thing either, which is kind of strange, since I'm a writer myself and have written rather emotional short stories about my boyfriend. He's not a writer at all though, so it would seem pretty forced if he were to do that. But I guess if it's something that a man does naturally, then it's fine. It's just the idea that he HAS to do sappy things like that throws me off.

 

[PADDY]

A few passing Paddyisms on the subject

Just a few reflections, just call me 'old fashioned' but still in a modern sort of way

Take her somewhere nice. I totally agree, and why not something just a 'wee bit' different too...?Note that "nice" is not synonymous with "pricey." Swing dancing in my city is $3 cover just to support the bands, DJs and community center, and lessons (Jitterbug and Lindy Hop every week, and occasionally Jive and Charleston lessons too) are free! Or go on a picnic. I love picnics.Absolutely!!:eusa_clap I was just thinking, I once took a girl in Oxford (UK) punting along the river in June (they are like the Venetian gondolas, but smaller and more homely and you push them along by standing on the back with a long pole) with a pic-nic, and then you find a nice spot by the river bank for you pic nic
Also, I love ice skating, just because I'm 'not' very good at it, and it's always an 'ice breaker' for both of you, as you giggle and fall down, help each other up and afterwards have loads to talk about! I totally agree with you lovely idea of dance classes too!! Like Salsa, Ciroc, jive, tango...whatever[huh] something to learn together and be with each other and to chat about afterwards Ten pin bowling too (as I don't do it that often).

Be wrong sometimes. It's humbling."Love Story" (the movie) got it wrong. Being in love is 'being able to and feel comfortable enough to say "I'm sorry "

Don't zone out while she's talking to you! Never! nor gloat at other ladies!!! That lady sitting next to you is the ONLY person in the room, as far as you are concerned.If you're completely uninterested in the subject matter, subtley change the subject...but not without adding SOMETHING to the conversation so she knows she's not talking to a wall.And it shows that you value her as an intelligent and interesting human being (isn't that what we all want?[huh] ), so show some respect gents.

I personally can't stand smoking, but that's because I don't smoke. It might vary person to person. If you smoke, keep some mints on hand.Agreed, another great point But preferably gents, don't do it. Come on, all that smoke covering up your wonderful natural clean body smell?

Don't soak yourself in cheap body sprays or colognes like they do on television! I can't stand that stuff. I appreciate someone who smells nice, but a lot of the cheap scents are just nauseating, especially in high doses. I think that habit might be a New Mexican thing...almost every time I ride the route 66 bus, some guy will take out his cologne bottle and show it to his friends. This one guy who was trying to pick me up on the bus gave me his empty cologne bottle when he walked off without my number. I think we are reading from the same hymn sheet here Gents...it's worth 'splashing' out on a good quality perfume. But...less is more, so don't bath in it or drink it!! a little squirt or splash is enough (even if you cannot smell it, be sure that others can!).

Don't spend more time in the bathroom than she does. My stepdad does that, and it drives my mother insane. lol

And does spending an hour make any major difference over 20 minutes?[huh] As I learnt from other areas of my life, if you have a big date the next day, prepare you kit the night before (takes all the stress away).


Oh, and for those gents who feel that gentlemen don't 'buy chocolates these days' or opening doors or helping a lady on with her coat are OLD HAT and out of fashion, well...'think again!'

If you value and respect a lady for her company, her conversation, that wee smile, a touch of the hand, well...I don't think gents that showing her how much you like her through a box of chocolates, going out and doing nice things together, helping her with her coat is too much to ask, is it? for a woman you may very well be falling in love with[huh]

 

[scotrace]

Just a few observations...

A woman should only learn that you are wearing a scent when she hugs or kisses you. If she can smell your cologne across the table, you're wearing too much.
Carry an extra handkerchief.
Pay attention to her.
No stubble. And check your nails.
The things I have heard from most women who have really enjoyed dates they've been on are "He made me laugh" and "he took care of everything."
That doesn't mean you have to pay for everything (necessarily); it means you have planned the evening, know where you're going, there's a table waiting, there's gas in the car, etc. Avoid "where ya wanna go?" "I dunno, where you wanna go?" "I dunno.... where you wanna..."

 

[Tony in Tarzana]

Don't ask me, I've managed to be girlfriend-free for the majority of my life.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

The only rules from the first list that I agree with are the holding open of doors and the smoking. I disagree with all the others.

I don't mind social drinking and any man of mine MUST use salty language!

Cliched, but so true -- SENSE OF HUMOUR is most important! Followed by an appreciation for history and anything offbeat.

Holding open doors is nice, but it's not a requirement. I don't like gifts unless it's something off my amazon.com wishlist! I think flowers are a waste of money and I don't like chocolate. I'm not big on love poems or songs -- they're a turnoff for me. Luckily, my husband fits all the above criteria!

I guess I'm just not a normal girl

 

[gluegungeisha]

Just a few observations...
The things I have heard from most women who have really enjoyed dates they've been on are "He made me laugh" and "he took care of everything."
That doesn't mean you have to pay for everything (necessarily); it means you have planned the evening, know where you're going, there's a table waiting, there's gas in the car, etc. Avoid "where ya wanna go?" "I dunno, where you wanna go?" "I dunno.... where you wanna..."

YES!!! :eusa_clap

 

[Paisley]

Haven't been on a date in a long time, but how about a guy who does the work? I mean he asks the girl out, plans the evening, makes some light conversation, and does his best to entertain her? There have been a few guys who seemed to like me, but they wouldn't make a move. I've known men to say that they're shy, so they just wait for women to ask them out. (More likely, they're good looking and they don't have to ask women out.)

One complaint I've heard from women is men who are cheap. They split the check on the first date, or expect her to pay the whole thing when they've done the inviting. One of my coworkers had been seeing a man who'd never take her out--he just had her over to his house all the time. She finally said she wanted to go OUT. What did he do? He took her to a movie using his free passes...and stashed drinks and snacks in his coat. That was the last he ever saw of her. A little economy is fine, especially if he's a young guy, but come on!

 

[jgilbert]

Dancing?

Dancing? I am getting ready to retake intro to Ballroom dancing!
Maybe I can hide this fact with wit and charm.

One of the rules I have is no movie on the first date. Nobody talks.
And guys turn off your cell phones!

 

[Zig2k143]

One complaint I've heard from women is men who are cheap. They split the check on the first date, or expect her to pay the whole thing when they've done the inviting. One of my coworkers had been seeing a man who'd never take her out--he just had her over to his house all the time. She finally said she wanted to go OUT. What did he do? He took her to a movie using his free passes...and stashed drinks and snacks in his coat. That was the last he ever saw of her. A little economy is fine, especially if he's a young guy, but come on!

Lol.... well I may be frugal but I've never been called cheap. I like to spend money going out and enjoying life... I would rather go out for a nice dinner, musical, and club then actually go and buy myself something I wanted.

 

[thebadmamajama]

Oh, and for those gents who feel that gentlemen don't 'buy chocolates these days' or opening doors or helping a lady on with her coat are OLD HAT and out of fashion, well...'think again!'

If you value and respect a lady for her company, her conversation, that wee smile, a touch of the hand, well...I don't think gents that showing her how much you like her through a box of chocolates, going out and doing nice things together, helping her with her coat is too much to ask, is it? for a woman you may very well be falling in love with
__________________

Way to go Paddy, I agree. I always say air on the side of generosity and overdoing than making the girl feel like an accessory instead of a person of worth.

 

[Undertow]

I have a certain problem with spending way too much money on my girlfriends. They know I'm a pretty frugal guy with everything else BUT them. I take them out to great restaurants, unique entertainment opportunities, nice gifts, etc.

But if it's just a date, especially a first date, I go dutch on dinner and drinks. If we're not an item and we're two seperate, independent individuals, then I see nothing wrong in having a night out on our own expense.

 

[Viola]

I would seperate "meeting up someplace" from a real date. In my mind, if you asked to go on a date, and you picked the place, you should pick up the check, whether you're a boy or a girl. If you just got together with somebody casually, ran into them someplace and said let's hit lunch, that's totally different and dutch is okay.

Real dates, asker pays. That's what I would expect from either side. Gender's got little to do with it.

-Viola

 

[RondoHatton]

Thank you, dear Mildred

Here's to your kind advice being put to use and not left purely academic...
Have just begun to work on No. Four - it is much more difficult than I realized! Will "get it" one of these days. Until then, more thanks to all of my partners who have been encouraging and courteous; Toddy, a wonderful teacher!

...All I need is a guy who can make me laugh until I feel like I'm gonna pass out...

This has been told to me by an intelligent and sophisticated older woman as well, as she held court in one of Hollywoodland's oldest hillside homes...

 

[Story]

I thought this thread was going to be about old tailors. :eusa_doh:

 

[Undertow]

Real dates, asker pays. That's what I would expect from either side. Gender's got little to do with it.

I do agree with this. Good distinction!

 

[Zig2k143]

I do agree with this. Good distinction!

I don't know what it is... Maybe I got it from my father because he was that way... But even going out with friends like two couples. I always feel bad if I don't pick up the tab.