The School Bully

[CanadaDoll]

In my experience submission does not stop or prevent bullying, it makes it worse, because they know you're an easy target that won't give any resistance. But I guess good will is all there is to rely on, and the one's who are in the position to do anything for bullied people.

 

[Dapper Dan]

I think we can all take a lesson from the pages of the possum (or opossum, if you prefer), who, when threatened, feigns his own death, sometimes going as far as to have his friends hang black crepe and say what a shame it all is and what a good fella he was.

 

[carebear]

Well, before this zero-tolerance idiocy (again, here in the States) teachers and administrators were free to apply a little common sense. If there was a fight in the schoolyard and they could figure out who started it they could only punish THAT kid, not just say "all violence is bad" and punish the kid defending himself as well.

Kids weren't encouraged to fight or be violent but they were taught when it was or wasn't just and/or necessary and weren't punished out of hand if their use of force met those standards.

That can be applied to adults in society as well.

 

[Laraquan]

Passivity can sometimes be a good thing and get you out of trouble if you're in the right kind of situation.

I was a fairly loud child in primary school, fairly obnoxious - I'll admit - though usually well-meaning and with far too much energy, and I normally suffered for my weird tomboyish antics, particularly my fascination with play pretend games where I'd pretend to be someone, or something, else. Largely I ignored them and their insults, even when they followed me around, and it rarely escalated into more aggressive name calling.

In high school I was home-schooled for the first few years and so by the time I moved to a new town joined that school, everyone was already in their cliques and I didn't know how to relate too well to peers. I was fine just focusing on my studies and largely skated by with little to no bullying, despite the fact that I was top of a few classes and tended to say more words to teachers then to students. I ignored them and they ignored me and it worked out just fine. Being a female student from out of town might have helped that, however, particularly since I was neither particularly short/tall, fat/thin.

Back to the original topic, I guess the chance to meet a bully again would mean different things to different people. One person would feel relief at slashing their tyres, another find relief in talking to them and being secretly pleased at their misfortune, or even in a few cases, their fortune as well. The world is filled with people of all sorts, and reading this thread and the many different responses people have given really drives that home.

 

[Paisley]

More and more aggressor's, trained by society that folks will not defend themselves, that passerby are being told by authorities not to intervene and in fact often choose to "not get involved" and that the authorities really aren't going to show up in the nick of time, are choosing to take further liberties than they may have originally intended. Robbery or mugging turns into unprovoked physical and/or sexual assault on cowering, defenseless, non-resisting victims. Victims are even killed for no reason after offering no resistance and giving up the cash or whatever.

This was how the 9/11 highjackers hatched their plot. On the first plane highjacked, the victims were passive. Not on United 93, though. Anyone interested in this particular topic may want to read Among the Heroes: United Flight 93 and the Passengers and Crew Who Fought Back . It was hard for me to read, but I'm glad I did.

 

[Dapper Dan]

Well, before September 11th, when did a hijacking ever end in people getting killed? Standard procedure was to comply with hijackers' requests, as more people were more likely to survive that way. But now we're getting off topic.

 

[carebear]

Well, before September 11th, when did a hijacking ever end in people getting killed? Standard procedure was to comply with hijackers' requests, as more people were more likely to survive that way. But now we're getting off topic.

Very true, the hijackers exploited the conventional wisdom. Conventional truth in fact, as you say, some people died in previous hijackings, but most, almost all, survived.

That trick shouldn't work again.

Maybe not off topic, but not much further from bullying than I took it.

If I seem to go off topic on this stuff, go "political" as it were, it's usually because small particular topics are illustrative of larger truths. Discussing the detail while ignoring the larger concept is not conducive to true learning.

 

[mysterygal]

Doran, I think a lot of it has to deal with where you live as well probably. I've always lived in a small town, so, yeah, of course there's violent people no matter where one may go, but, it's really not an issue around here.
I just get frustrated when people play into the bullies schemes...they want a reaction, you don't give them one they get bored. This DOES NOT mean however that you play the possum...there is a time to confront your enemy as well. Like for me, I do not take kindly to personal attacks and if someone gets me angry enough (which is actually kind of hard to do) the claws are coming out!

 

[Dapper Dan]

In my defense, I was joking about the possums.

 

[Viola]

Well, before September 11th, when did a hijacking ever end in people getting killed? Standard procedure was to comply with hijackers' requests, as more people were more likely to survive that way. But now we're getting off topic.

Achille Lauro? Entebbe raid?

-Viola

 

[carebear]

Achille Lauro? Entebbe raid?

-Viola

True, but most hijackings didn't kill all or even most (or even very many) on board. Not that any death is "okay", but any individual's chance of dying was pretty low. Assuming you weren't an Israeli or a Jew, or American serviceman.

Still, we weren't losing hundreds at a time.

Although, a flight on Spain's national airlines was hijacked in the 70s (IIRC) and the passengers basically beat the hijacker to death, the stews put his remains (almost dismembered apparently) in one of the lavatories and opened up cocktail service while they headed back to land.

A little more fighting back and a little less "let the authorities handle it" can go a long way.

 

[Viola]

True, but most hijackings didn't kill all or even most (or even very many) on board. Not that any death is "okay", but any individual's chance of dying was pretty low. Assuming you weren't an Israeli or a Jew, or American serviceman.

True. I only volunteered them because the question was when did a highjacking EVER end in some (innocent) person getting killed, and its hard to picture a hostage more harmless to his captors than, say, a geriatric in a wheelchair, you know?

Also, Yonaton Netanyahu is my homeboy. lol

-Viola

 

[Dr Doran]

, a flight on Spain's national airlines was hijacked in the 70s (IIRC) and the passengers basically beat the hijacker to death, the stews put his remains (almost dismembered apparently) in one of the lavatories and opened up cocktail service while they headed back to land.

A little more fighting back and a little less "let the authorities handle it" can go a long way.

I love that. I wish I had been there. Carebear, you and I should hang out next time you are in Northern California. Slap some sense into some thugs (then again, as I am married with a baby (see photo), I would rather avoid UNNECESSARY fights). The dismemberedness of the remains is pretty awesome. If ya hijack a plane I'm on, ya get what ya deserve. As for the WTC hijackings in 2001, I always assumed the hijackers had held box cutters to a pregnant lady's stomach. That's the only thing that would prevent me (and most people) from assaulting them.

As for the interesting material about the legality of striking someone. I am in a Situation like this RIGHT NOW. I have been charged with misdemeanor assault. I saw a judge in December. I was granted a "diversion" and I must return to court in March with proof that I have been on the straight and narrow. As I stopped drinking shortly before my daughter was born, this may impress the judge. However, my opponent is an unusually ruthless and stubborn person with a heavy grudge against me. He feels, I believe, very humiliated that I knocked him down. To my credit, he was verbally abusing me repeatedly, but he denies this. He was not seriously injured but made out as though he was: I believe he has an unusually low pain threshold. He fell into a paroxysm of anger after the incident and could not control himself for months when speaking to our intermediaries. All of this, I believe, could have been avoided if he did not consider himself a victim and if his supporters (such as the DA) did not think that violence always equals oppression and abuse.

The worst part of it is, it's my older brother. And the whole thing happened on the day of our sister's funeral. I am completely serious.

 

[carebear]

Doran,

As you found out, there are no more "fightin' words". Pretty much, if it hasn't come to actual blows, you can't use force.

Which means the deliberately and persistantly rude and boorish now have no effective control on their behavior. Even with the potential for abuse, I don't see that as a net gain for decent society.

 

[Dapper Dan]

Just to clarify, I wasn't suggesting that deaths in highjackings never occured. I was using hyperbole to point out that the people on that plane had no reason to suspect they'd be flown into a building.

 

[mysterygal]

In my defense, I was joking about the possums.

ok....there are little smilies right over on the right side of the posting screen!

 

[Dapper Dan]

I just thought some things went without saying...

 

[carebear]

I just thought some things went without saying...

Not online. No vocal or facial tells to help get your tone across. It's always better to err on the side of obviousness.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

I just thought some things went without saying...

Ah, you'll learn. You will be misconstrued here. Constantly. Willfully. In order, generally, to obfuscate your point when someone doesn't agree. And yes, smilies seem to be purely for the passive aggression which runs rampant in the OB. (Not to say that this has happened here, but it will.)

bk

 

[patrick1987]

I'd rather someone be passive-agressive than nasty.