The Marrying Age

[Miss Molly]

My parents got married about a year and a half ago. They were 50 and 51... 23 years and they finally felt ready to commit!
I'm 18 and I'm not planning on even thinking about marriage until I'm at least 25. There's way too much I want to do in life, like maggiethespy, a gap year, my BA Hons, then whatever else after that... Who knows!

 

[Minerva]

And I find it really interesting that so many people's grandparents were married due to being "caught" when so many people today claim that teens didn't have intercourse pre-60's. : }

I've been having fun with that one pulling up my family's marriage records and cross-checking against when their first was born. I blame the French cultural influences, but it would appear that in their area (New Orleans and environs), the custom was that the one who got her pregnant got to keep her. Whether that meant marriage or 'other arrangements' depended on the races of the parties involved, but some sort of settlement was usually reached by the time the child was born.

The one great-great-aunt had her first just days after the wedding -- oops! My great-grandparents likewise had an oopsie, but there was a few months between the wedding and the child's appearance -- and they were in their twenties, so they knew what they were getting into (presumably).

 

[NicolettaRose]

My parents both got married in their mid thirties and they have been married for 30 years. My grandparents were both older when they got married ( older back then being late 20's). I'm 25, and I do want to get married, when I meet the exact right person that is!! I also date older men, just like another lounger that posted. ( no men in their 20's and VERY wary of those in their 30's)

 

[Foofoogal]

The one great-great-aunt had her first just days after the wedding -- oops!

If you are going only on dates from a long time ago it may of been a pregnant widow or something along those lines. My great great grandmother died and my grandmother and her 2 sisters then got a stepmother about same age as them.(19 or so) A cousin of my gggrandmother.
Marriage was much more of a practical union back then.
MEDIUMMYND is totally correct. People of certain families travelled together and tended to marry within.
I know in East Texas it was the Baptist and Methodist mainly. They all traveled from East Coast like in wagon trains and such.

Now considering my mothers family came from Louisiana via France I would see them as very proper from experience.
Now the cajuns may be another thing entirely. lol
Just kidding sort of.

 

[John in Covina]

My dad was 27 and mom was 21.

Often the guy is the older one because it took men a few more years to reach the right level of maturity than women.

Has the question of maturity has become more important these days? [huh]

 

[Caity Lynn]

My dad was 27 and mom was 21.

Often the guy is the older one because it took men a few more years to reach the right level of maturity than women.

Has the question of maturity has become more important these days? [huh]

Depends on the people, To me it is...I won't date anyone who isn't at least on my maturity level. Otherwise they tend to annoy me.

 

[Nighthawk]

The only thing I'll say is that I'm 23 and I doubt that I'll get married for a while.

NH

 

[Minerva]

If you are going only on dates from a long time ago it may of been a pregnant widow or something along those lines. My great great grandmother died and my grandmother and her 2 sisters then got a stepmother about same age as them.(19 or so) A cousin of my gggrandmother.
Marriage was much more of a practical union back then.
MEDIUMMYND is totally correct. People of certain families travelled together and tended to marry within.
I know in East Texas it was the Baptist and Methodist mainly. They all traveled from East Coast like in wagon trains and such.

Now considering my mothers family came from Louisiana via France I would see them as very proper from experience.
Now the cajuns may be another thing entirely. lol
Just kidding sort of.

I have it on excellent authority that she wasn't married before. Her one uncle was a orderly sort who would have seen to it that the marriage would have been registered with the city, which it wasn't.

Her marriage record also lists her as using her father's surname. If she was previously married, there would be a note about previous marriages and the record would also likely be listed with her late husband's surname. Ditto I suspect if she had been publically involved with a white man prior to her marriage; she would have been using his surname.

The fellow she married had a habit of get 'caught' in that sort of way, as well -- something about at least half the 'natural' (illegitimate) children in that part of town were his, as I heard it -- and she looked the other way about it after they were married. Those French influences, there. They weren't French, but as they say, when in Rome .... In any case, the men in his family have/had a habit of dithering until right before a birth before marrying the woman. My records indicate that his father did the same thing. :eusa_doh:

I don't know about the Cajuns and their customs, either. No one in my immediate ancestry was Cajun that I can determine.

 

[Edward]

My dad was 27 and mom was 21.

Often the guy is the older one because it took men a few more years to reach the right level of maturity than women.

Has the question of maturity has become more important these days? [huh]

Life stage would certainly be a very big issue for me. I simply wouldn't be prepared to consider that sort of involvement with someone who wasn't close to my own stage in life. [huh]

 

[Foofoogal]

Minerva,
Louisiana is a predominately or was anyway a strict Catholic place back then.
I am sure people did what they do back then and there are exceptions but I also know my mother could not go anywhere especially in the evening without one of her brothers escorting her.
Not very long ago any female out after dark was thought to be a lady of the evening.
The church kept very good records. My mothers family goes back to 1400s.
I am sure if she was Catholic and pg before marriage she had to do some penance and agree to raise the child Catholic.
Maybe not. I do not think though back to the discussion that out of wedlock pregnancies were the norm though is my point.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/pubs/1996/reports/20th_annual_report_congress/image4.gif

This only shows since 1970 so much less before.
http://www.heritage.org/Research/Welfare/upload/100246_1.gif
better graph.

 

[Martinis at 8]

Lol! Last time this subject came up the thread was censored and then eventually locked. I wonder how long this one will last

 

[Minerva]

Minerva,
Louisiana is a predominately or was anyway a strict Catholic place back then.
I am sure people did what they do back then and there are exceptions but I also know my mother could not go anywhere especially in the evening without one of her brothers escorting her.
Not very long ago any female out after dark was thought to be a lady of the evening.
The church kept very good records. My mothers family goes back to 1400s.
I am sure if she was Catholic and pg before marriage she had to do some penance and agree to raise the child Catholic.
Maybe not. I do not think though back to the discussion that out of wedlock pregnancies were the norm though is my point.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/pubs/1996/reports/20th_annual_report_congress/image4.gif

This only shows since 1970 so much less before.
http://www.heritage.org/Research/Welfare/upload/100246_1.gif
better graph.

Can I ask without giving offense, Foofoogal -- is your family white? I'm thinking perhaps things were different for those on the other side of the colour line, from what you're saying.

For women of colour, until the early 20th century the 'norm' in a good portion of Louisiana was not to marry at all. They got involved with white men, and had their children outside of marriage. They didn't have a lot of other legal options.

I have quite a few older cousins who would not have been legally married if someone hadn't lied when it came time to fill out the 'race' portion of the form, and woe betide them if and when someone challenged the marriage in court.

So, to get back to the discussion, yes, the aunt in question was Catholic, and I'm sure the official was pleased to see she was marrying someone of her own class instead of the common alternative for their area. Better to marry than burn, I think the saying goes? lol

 

[Gatsby84]

I'm now 24 and am not in any hurry to get married anytime soon.

-Allen

 

[Foofoogal]

Can I ask without giving offense, Foofoogal -- is your family white? I'm thinking perhaps things were different for those on the other side of the colour line, from what you're saying.

I am sorry but I just found this post. Yes, my family is white. Scottish on one side and French on the other. My grandmother was horrified when I went to visit when I was 16 because I kissed a local boy. My cousins told on me. I had never seen so many cute French boys. Couldn't help it. lol She didn't speak to me or my aunt forever and my mother was told immediately. Poor mama. She had a wayward teen according to her family. :eusa_doh:

For women of colour, until the early 20th century the 'norm' in a good portion of Louisiana was not to marry at all. They got involved with white men, and had their children outside of marriage. They didn't have a lot of other legal options.

I did not realize this. I am sorry I guess. No offense. Forgive me if I have caused any.

 

[Emer]

My grandmother was 16, but she was just a young bride. I think it lasted about 4 years. She married again at 23, lasted another four or five years, and then didn't marry (the man I call) my grandpa until they were both in their 50's!

My mother married at 18, but was divorced by 19. She's on husband number 4 now, but I'm pretty sure she's done.

All of my aunts were married between 17 and 19 years old, most of whom were divorced at least once.

Jason and I were married at 23 and 21 and we're coming up on 3 years; God willing, this is the one and only for us!

 

[HungaryTom]

My father was 28 my mother 22 when they married in 1970.
I was 35 and my wife was 30 when we married in 2007.

 

[Babydoll]

The Mister's grandparents married when they were 14 (her) and 18 (him). Young in my mind (how does a girl of 14 know that she's ready to be a wife/mother??), but they stayed married for 60+ years.

We got married when I was 32, and he was 40. Perfect ages and time in our lives for us.