The lost art of dressing for the occasion

[AtomicEraTom]

Yup, there is a divide and I get lumped in with group 1, because of my age. Frankly, I don't do the things I do for attention, or to rebel. Heck, I've got better things to do with my time. I live the life I live because in my heat of hearts I believe it's what's right.

lol It's not a devious thing Feraud! There won't be a mutiny or anything

There's always been a divide between the "the group who see it more as an anti-modern expression of individual identity (punks, akin to steampunks), and the other who actively embrace an older ethic of a more conservative (small "c", please no party politics!!) way of living and then the clothes, music etc which spring from that" as William put it. And there always will be, but it just seems that lately when a thread like this comes up there are quite a few more of "the non-vintage living" (for lack of a better name) that want to argue just to argue. It's almost like they joined to stir the pot [huh]

And, can I get an Amen, to this one!? I fell in love with the FL, because there were so many people with values and tastes similar to my own. We really have lost a lot of that in the past year or two. I don't know why so many people log on to tell those who like certain aspects of the past that they're wrong. I'm not going to convince you that you're wrong and you won't convince me I'm wrong. If you don't like what we're saying in a thread dedicated to a subject that you're not fond of, I think the most polite option would be to move along.

To add to that....

I originally joined the FL so that I could be part of the "Keepers of the Culture of The Greatest Generation", because I believe in those values. If I wanted to be repeatedly told I'm wrong, I'd call my mother

 

[lolly_loisides]

I wonder if this illustrates a divide in opinion between two key groups of people who like vintage cloths etc - one being the group who see it more as an anti-modern expression of individual identity (punks, akin to steampunks), and the other who actively embrace an older ethic of a more conservative (small "c", please no party politics!!) way of living and then the clothes, music etc which spring from that?

I never thought the golden era was a time of conservative values, if anything it was a time when some countries tried to create fairer societies (look at Roosevelts New Deal and Second New Deal and Clement Attlees nationalisation scheme). Perhaps that's why I like the golden era, there was a promise of a fairer life for all.

 

[Flicka]

I never thought the golden era was a time of conservative values, if anything it was a time when some countries tried to create fairer societies (look at Roosevelts New Deal and Second New Deal and Clement Attlees nationalisation scheme). Perhaps that's why I like the golden era, there was a promise of a fairer life for all.

Absolutely - if we look at the 30s, it was rather a time of upheaval than consensus. I think that the 50s and 60s sort of created a myth of a conservative past that isn't really matched by historical data.

 

[William Stratford]

I never thought the golden era was a time of conservative values, if anything it was a time when some countries tried to create fairer societies (look at Roosevelts New Deal and Second New Deal and Clement Attlees nationalisation scheme). Perhaps that's why I like the golden era, there was a promise of a fairer life for all.

It was a time when socially conservative values were far stronger and were less likely to be mis-represented in the way that they are now (as either borderline fascist, torch-wielding mob, or just plain €£onomi£ lib€rali$m - but I have no wish to dig deeper into such matters, not least because I was under the impression that out-and-out political discussions are something we are asked to refrain from here ).

 

[LizzieMaine]

I never thought the golden era was a time of conservative values, if anything it was a time when some countries tried to create fairer societies (look at Roosevelts New Deal and Second New Deal and Clement Attlees nationalisation scheme). Perhaps that's why I like the golden era, there was a promise of a fairer life for all.

I think "conservative" and "liberal" are terms that have been so completely destroyed by modern-era demagoguery that I avoid them wherever possible. If this were 1937, I'd be a rock-throwing CIO militant, but by modern standards I'm considered some kind of hidebound reactionary because I think the good of the community is more important than the individual. Makes no sense to me at all.

 

[Flicka]

As regards dressing for the occasion, it was definitely not something that had to do with political opinion in the era - my BFF's great grandfather was a member of parliament for the Communists, and my great grandfather was as conservative as is humanly possible. They both got dressed up for weddings and political functions.

 

[Wally_Hood]

I think "conservative" and "liberal" are terms that have been so completely destroyed by modern-era demagoguery that I avoid them wherever possible. If this were 1937, I'd be a rock-throwing CIO militant, but by modern standards I'm considered some kind of hidebound reactionary because I think the good of the community is more important than the individual. Makes no sense to me at all.

Again, LM says it with accuracy and aplomb.

 

[Wally_Hood]

Regarding "dressing up" for church services, I do so because of the conviction that when a church meets for worship the focus is not on the event, but on the Person of God. For me, attending worship is not like going to the mall, going to the movies, going to the beach, going to a barbecue, or any sort of social event. It is meeting with a real Person, who though invisible, is present. If I am going to the best of all places, on the best of all days, to meet with the best of all Persons, I will wear my best and do my best.

 

[Kirk H.]

Regarding "dressing up" for church services, I do so because of the conviction that when a church meets for worship the focus is not on the event, but on the Person of God. For me, attending worship is not like going to the mall, going to the movies, going to the beach, going to a barbecue, or any sort of social event. It is meeting with a real Person, who though invisible, is present. If I am going to the best of all places, on the best of all days, to meet with the best of all Persons, I will wear my best and do my best.

Well put Sir.

 

[MikeBravo]

I thought this appropriate to the thread...and, well, who doesn't love a good picture of Cary Grant?

"Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant."

Cary Grant

(From http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/cary_grant.html#L7ut8sG1bUIIkfll.99)

Sorry, couldn't resist

 

[Dixie_Amazon]

Thank goodness for Galatoire's

 

[Undertow]

An important question at this juncture is whether you are telling the people in your church who don't dress properly what they need to wear. If it really troubles you, shouldn't you direct your energy to correcting the problem as it exists in your church? Surely it's more important to tackle the problem itself than to direct energy into a discussion of it.

The only people that attend my "church" already know to dress appropriately. :redface:

But to answer the question further, I would say that it is not a gentleman's place to make a stranger unnecessarily uncomfortable in public, especially about their clothing. Now if this were a friend, I think it would be appropriate to pull them aside and make a suggestion. But then that would mean I'd have to have a friend that didn't dress well.

 

[Rathdown]

"Formal" in this context nowadays means a lounge suit. Some of the Scots may go in highland daywear - it will depend from social circle to social circle whether they would regard you doing the same as cultural sensitive or extracting urine (of course some Scots regards the kilt as something Englishmen wear at weddings, but that's a whole nother can o'worms). Your safest bet would be a good lounge suit, as that is by far the norm for "formal" nowadays in the UK. As a general rule of thumb, the lounge suit has replaced the stroller (normally only seen on undertakers, freemasons and doormen these days, alas). Full formal daywear, or some interpretation thereof, is relatively common (especially at bigger and church weddings), but typically limited to the wedding party. It would be considered a bit of a faux pas to arrive in full formal daywear as a guest, unless that had been specified as welcome.

I've no idea what is done in London these days since, as a Scot, England is foreign to me. However, in Scotland, if an invitation to a day-time wedding says "formal" then the proper attire is morning dress (not a "stroller"), or the Highland equivalent. For guests traveling from afar a dark suit is always acceptable attire.

It is never proper to ask the bride how one should dress. The guest, if uncertain, should direct his question to the person issuing the invitation, usually the parents of the bride. As with any formal invitation questions should be referred to the hostess, and not the host.

 

[Miss Stella]

Sigh.
I should have not used the illustration of the comment I recieved at church...seems to have hit a sore spot or two.
May I restate my feelings on this matter:
I simply feel there are times to dress your best. When I brought up my three children, we didn't have much but I went to thrift stores and bought them a 'Sunday' outfit and a pair of shoes only for Sunday or if we were going someplace other than the park...they were taught to hang them up afterwards and how to polish their shoes as well as iron. The boys were taught how to tie a tie, that holding the door open for a lady (especially their sister) was expected. They were all expected to look an adult in the eye when speaking or being spoken to, to shake hands and speak clearly. We are teaching the grandson the same. There are times he can run around in shorts and sneakers and a time where the event dictates what you will wear....out of respect for others.
That has to be taught by parents/family who cares.
Its not bring snobbish or saying I'm better than you, its saying I respect you and am willing to give you my best.

Maybe the issue is simply lack of respect for others?

Btw...I never got the feeling there was a divide here on FL...im not on often due to poor Internet sign but I'd hate to think we were having schisms over what I feel is a universal love of bygone eras....

 

[SHOWSOMECLASS]

The principle of the widows might.
Not a illustration or hyperbole but a observation of Gods son Jesus Christ as people dropped their monetary contributions at the temple. Two small coins. She gave more than all... because she gave all she had.
Its not what you wear. Its wearing your best. If all you have is a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt, then so be-it. But in that regard, I think most have better or more formal clothes. They are required to wear this "uniform standard" to work therefore when the work day is done it is time to dress for comfort. Most of the men I work w/ see "church/worship as a obligatory sunday chore to fullfill their required penance, to keep the wife happy or maintain the religious status quo. We live near a number of large churches. I enjoy observing the couples as they walk to the entrance. What I consistently observe is, women who are dressed much more appropriately than the men they are walking to services with.

 

[SHOWSOMECLASS]

Hey Miss Stella, sound like good parenting. Keep the fight

 

[Deafjeff]

I'm glad to see the thread I started about dressing appropriatly has taken off like this. To elaborate on some of my own feelings on the matter I will say that I don't regularly attend church but the occasions when I have entered a holy site I had always done my best to appear well dressed and professional. And an interesting story that happened to me the other day was at my high school graduation which was last Sunday. There was a dress code of slacks and button shirts with tie optional. I wore a tie with it as well as a corduroy sport coat simply because it had rained the day before and was very chilly that morning. When I got there I saw two of my friends who had both shown up in T shirts and shorts which surprised me. Later I saw that they weren't alone. Plenty of people had dressed as they were supposed to but a huge number were wearing shorts and sandals and T Shirts. While they can certainly dress however they like I did think that it would have made our graduation pictures look nicer if they had dressed appropriatly for that occassion.

 

[jamespowers]

I'm glad to see the thread I started about dressing appropriatly has taken off like this. To elaborate on some of my own feelings on the matter I will say that I don't regularly attend church but the occasions when I have entered a holy site I had always done my best to appear well dressed and professional. And an interesting story that happened to me the other day was at my high school graduation which was last Sunday. There was a dress code of slacks and button shirts with tie optional. I wore a tie with it as well as a corduroy sport coat simply because it had rained the day before and was very chilly that morning. When I got there I saw two of my friends who had both shown up in T shirts and shorts which surprised me. Later I saw that they weren't alone. Plenty of people had dressed as they were supposed to but a huge number were wearing shorts and sandals and T Shirts. While they can certainly dress however they like I did think that it would have made our graduation pictures look nicer if they had dressed appropriatly for that occassion.

That was a blatant disregard for the dress code. It didn't say beach bum wear it said long pants and a button down shirt. It is a wonder they graduated without the ability to read.

 

[Feraud]

Having just attended my son's graduation I had an opportunity to observe the lost art of dressing for the occasion. I posted comments in this thread. In particular our local young ladies cannot differentiate between dressing for a graduation and looking simply trashy.
I was more shocked at parents allowing their daughters to dress this way than the bad choices of the female graduates.

 

[jamespowers]

Having just attended my son's graduation I had an opportunity to observe the lost art of dressing for the occasion. I posted comments in this thread. In particular our local young ladies cannot differentiate between dressing for a graduation and looking simply trashy.
I was more shocked at parents allowing their daughters to dress this way than the bad choices of the female graduates.

Low standards come from low standards.