The lost art of dressing for the occasion

[Miss Stella]

I don't attend church either. However, I wear very little if I must attend. Maybe a bed sheet, or an old sack.

It's a shame to lose fine clothes when you catch fire upon entering.

Veeeeeeery scary, you

 

[Miss Stella]

I was just on the phone with a friend of mine about 20 minutes ago. He was telling me about his wedding, which is coming up soon. He told me he's getting 'all dressed up' which consists of a black dress shirt and khaki pants. I was just kinda surprised that that's proper attire for a groom these days. I didn't say anything, because it's not my wedding. I would have been offended if people came to my wedding dressed like that.

We had an outdoor, casual western wedding for our youngest son...his future FIL arrived not only late but in shorts and flip flops.
Bless my DIL's heart, she didn't let it get to her-she and our son just enjoyed their day.
Honestly....there were no words to describe our shock...none at all.

 

[Undertow]

Veeeeeeery scary, you

I know it, it's too bad.

Here's a woodcarving Gustave Dore did representing the last time I went to church. I get such headaches when they kick me out!

 

[AtomicEraTom]

I'm not saying you have to show up in a suit and tie. I don't. I just think a t-shirt and shorts and flip flops is a bit disrespectful. If you're wearing nice jeans, dark shoes, and a Polo, I think that's plenty good, at least these days. Most folks can afford to go to goodwill and buy an oxford shirt, and a pair of slacks. The ensemble will cost you under ten dollars. I'm no expert on women's attire, but I see plenty of a formal variety there that can be had on the cheap, as well.

Exactly. We tend to forget that many people don't actually have formal clothing any more. Since most situations nowadays allow casual clothing, some people simply don't own a Sunday Best outfit.
Besides, although I appreciate people dressing up for formal occasions, it doesn't make one a bigger believer or more dedicated to one's faith to dress up for church.

 

[jamespowers]

It is a bit sickening what people consider church attire. I see people in short pants, sandals, the whole shebang. Meanwhile, I'm feeling guilty for not wearing a jacket, because it's just too darn hot lately. I miss when the ladies all wore their hats to church, and you'd see the men's hats alongside them in the pew (at least in our church)

The worst was at my friend Jesse's funeral a short while back. My friends and I were in black suits and ties and other people were there in the t-shirts and jeans I saw them wearing at the bar the night before. I even saw one girl that was wearing a shirt that looked like a pack of lifesavers and was so low cut that she couldn't move without practically exposing herself. I'm sorry, I know I'm a relic, but I still can't believe that's seen as acceptable by ANYBODY.

I know what you mean Tom. I see the same crap here. Yeah, it is going to kill you if you dress nice just once a week.
Standards are so low now that some people think that t shirts and jeans are dressing up. Heck they changed from their pajamas.

 

[jamespowers]

I'm not saying you have to show up in a suit and tie. I don't. I just think a t-shirt and shorts and flip flops is a bit disrespectful. If you're wearing nice jeans, dark shoes, and a Polo, I think that's plenty good, at least these days. Most folks can afford to go to goodwill and buy an oxford shirt, and a pair of slacks. The ensemble will cost you under ten dollars. I'm no expert on women's attire, but I see plenty of a formal variety there that can be had on the cheap, as well.

Exactly! At least look like you put some effort into it. Money for clothing is an excuse. Like you said---Saint Vinnies is everywhere.

 

[jamespowers]

We had an outdoor, casual western wedding for our youngest son...his future FIL arrived not only late but in shorts and flip flops.
Bless my DIL's heart, she didn't let it get to her-she and our son just enjoyed their day.
Honestly....there were no words to describe our shock...none at all.

:eeek::eeek::eeek::eeek: He took casual and went further down the line---mowing the lawn clothing.

 

[AtomicEraTom]

It's sad, really. I think it stems from the youth ideal of the 'you're not going to tell me what to do' attitude. Yes, you're non-conformist, just like everybody else. If you wanna dress like a slob all week, fine and good for you; although, you have my pity. If it's Sunday and you're in God's house, is it that hard to show one tiny iota of respect?

I know what you mean Tom. I see the same crap here. Yeah, it is going to kill you if you dress nice just once a week.
Standards are so low now that some people think that t shirts and jeans are dressing up. Heck they changed from their pajamas.

Yup, and I'm sure if you're that less-fortunate, someone in the church would be willing to donate clothing or even money to dress you appropriately. Churchgoers are typically charitable folk. Heck, I put enough to buy a decent shirt or pair of pants from the Goodwill in the collection plate each week

Exactly! At least look like you put some effort into it. Money for clothing is an excuse. Like you said---Saint Vinnies is everywhere.

 

[jamespowers]

It's sad, really. I think it stems from the youth ideal of the 'you're not going to tell me what to do' attitude. Yes, you're non-conformist, just like everybody else. If you wanna dress like a slob all week, fine and good for you; although, you have my pity. If it's Sunday and you're in God's house, is it that hard to show one tiny iota of respect?

I suppose it is for them.:eusa_doh:

Yup, and I'm sure if you're that less-fortunate, someone in the church would be willing to donate clothing or even money to dress you appropriately. Churchgoers are typically charitable folk. Heck, I put enough to buy a decent shirt or pair of pants from the Goodwill in the collection plate each week

Yeah, me too.

 

[Drappa]

I'm not saying you have to show up in a suit and tie. I don't. I just think a t-shirt and shorts and flip flops is a bit disrespectful. If you're wearing nice jeans, dark shoes, and a Polo, I think that's plenty good, at least these days. Most folks can afford to go to goodwill and buy an oxford shirt, and a pair of slacks. The ensemble will cost you under ten dollars. I'm no expert on women's attire, but I see plenty of a formal variety there that can be had on the cheap, as well.

Disrespectful to whom though? I'm sure God would care much more what's on the inside than on the outside. I'd rather people go and actually listen and think, than just dress and be there for appearances. Nice clothing doesn't equate more respect or a stronger belief.
For me, dressing up for someone's wedding is different, since it's about the couple and people feel slighted by things like this and want to have a special day for them. I'd like to think that a deity isn't concerned with human vanity or pettiness.

 

[William Stratford]

If it's Sunday and you're in God's house, is it that hard to show one tiny iota of respect?

You see, that is what I do not understand. If Church is important enough to you that you attend, why would you treat it as a casual thing. It doesn't make sense.

 

[William Stratford]

Disrespectful to whom though? I'm sure God would care much more what's on the inside than on the outside. I'd rather people go and actually listen and think, than just dress and be there for appearances. Nice clothing doesn't equate more respect or a stronger belief.

Dress though, does reflect out attitude. It isnt about nice clothing, but about sober clothing that steps out of the slack "all hang out" meat-market of the world. I mean, isnt Christianity supposed to be, in part at least, about a bit of discipline?

 

[Drappa]

Dress though, does reflect out attitude. It isnt about nice clothing, but about sober clothing that steps out of the slack "all hang out" meat-market of the world. I mean, isnt Christianity supposed to be, in part at least, about a bit of discipline?

Without wanting to get into a discussion about religion, it is also about being universally accessible. I just think it clashes with the fundamental belief in humanity to exclude people due to their attire. As others have said, slack in dressing doesn't equate loose morals. Some of the best dressed people are criminals and/or completely faithless, while some of the kindest people with the strongest beliefs dress shabbily.

 

[William Stratford]

Without wanting to get into a discussion about religion, it is also about being universally accessible.

Indeed; but I seriously doubt that all of the people failing to dress smartly in church are on the breadline...

I just think it clashes with the fundamental belief in humanity to exclude people due to their attire. As others have said, slack in dressing doesn't equate loose morals. Some of the best dressed people are criminals and/or completely faithless, while some of the kindest people with the strongest beliefs dress shabbily.

It is certainly true that some awful people are very well dressed, and that some very nice people are in utter poverty, however, it takes very little effort to manage a pair of neat trousers and an oxford shirt and I doubt that poverty is the reason many turn up looking as if they just arrived at Disneyland. If you can afford to drive to church, you can afford to turn up looking neat rather that as if you have a water pistol secreted about your person...

 

[Drappa]

Indeed; but I seriously doubt that all of the people failing to dress smartly in church are on the breadline...



It is certainly true that some awful people are very well dressed, and that some very nice people are in utter poverty, however, it takes very little effort to manage a pair of neat trousers and an oxford shirt and I doubt that poverty is the reason many turn up looking as if they just arrived at Disneyland. If you can afford to drive to church, you can afford to turn up looking neat rather that as if you have a water pistol secreted about your person...

The question isn't just about poverty though - I didn't say everyone turning up badly dressed was poor. It's about judging others for their appearance (whether due to poverty or simply bad taste). I am saying that this is misplaced in spiritual institutions and that God wouldn't care about how people are dressed. It's not about showing respect to whoever one prays to, it's about other people, and in this context I just disagree.

 

[William Stratford]

The question isn't just about poverty though - I didn't say everyone turning up badly dressed was poor. It's about judging others for their appearance (whether due to poverty or simply bad taste).

That is what societies do. It is what people do. We look at others and make judgements based on appearance and it is not wrong to do so because how we dress is as much an action as any other part of our behaviour; and it would be foolish in the extreme to say we should not judge behaviour...

I am saying that this is misplaced in spiritual institutions and that God wouldn't care about how people are dressed. It's not about showing respect to whoever one prays to, it's about other people, and in this context I just disagree.

And I would say that church is supposed to be sober, and so we should dress appropriately for it.

 

[Drappa]

That is what societies do. It is what people do. We look at others and make judgements based on appearance and it is not wrong to do so because how we dress is as much an action as any other part of our behaviour; and it would be foolish in the extreme to say we should not judge behaviour...



And I would say that church is supposed to be sober, and so we should dress appropriately for it.

That is your personal take on it. In many places church isn't sober whatsoever, it's about celebrating.

And you're still not getting my point. I know that people judge each other, whether it's wrong to do so or not is a matter of opinion. I am not going to repeat this again, because it's a bit like flogging a dead horse, but just because people judge each other doesn't mean it's the right thing to do or that praying requires a certain type of attire for the believer to be committed or serious. People also murder each other or cheat, it is what some people do. Doesn't make it right. That's me out for now.

 

[1961MJS]

Hi

I find it interesting that you CAN buy jeans and a t-shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch for about what it would cost for inexpensive dress pants and a nice shirt. I would also like to second William Stratford above. "...church is supposed to be sober and so we should dress appropriately for it." I think we could stretch that to everywhere. You don't dig ditches in a tuxedo, you don't wear cutoffs, a ripped t-shirt, and flip flops to church. I don't know what it's like now, but when I left Alabama in 1995, everyone dressed appropriately, at least everyone who was born there.

I got all over my kid for wearing that A&F crap when he was mowing lawns for a living. Seriously, if you're doing manual labor where you can get your clothing destroyed, you should be wearing the cheap stuff.

Later

 

[William Stratford]

I know that people judge each other, whether it's wrong to do so or not is a matter of opinion. ..... just because people judge each other doesn't mean it's the right thing to do or that praying requires a certain type of attire for the believer to be committed or serious. People also murder each other or cheat, it is what some people do.

That is a bit of a silly comparison - making judgements about people's character is necessary for life. Murder and cheating is not. :eusa_doh:

I get your point, really, I just disagree with it utterly. Probably best we leave it at that.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think people are missing the whole point of "dressing for church." It shouldn't be about trying to "impress God," and certainly not about impressing other people. I remember asking exactly this question once when I was a kid in Sunday School and being told that we dress informally and casually when visiting our peers. But God, I was told, isn't our peer -- he's our Superior in every way, and to dress appropriately in church was a way of recognizing our inferiority before God, and of showing our humility -- the same way as we'd dress appropriately in a courtroom, to recognize and acknowledge the authority of the State.

But in the next breath, I was also told that to dress in an impressive, expensive manner in church was just as inappropriate as dressing casually -- because it showed the same lack of humility before God. If you're trying to call attention to yourself with your expensive clothes, you're putting yourself in a place you're not entitled to occupy. Church is about worship, it isn't about you.