The loss of occasion

[dnjan]

I would hazard a guess and perhaps I am -totally- and utterly wrong....but those same well dressed military gents, if asked to go to a different occaision without the same expectation of uniforms....might we dress just like everyone else.....as you so charmingly put it ....a thrift store exploding.

Not in my experience. Both former military as well as current military (I'm talking officers here, not enlisted), when out of uniform, still seem to carry themselves differently, and dress with a sense of dignity and decorum.

Getting back on topic - I think that occaision generally includes a certain sense of decorum; the lack thereof is what we frequently bemoan.

By the way (off-topic again), the retirement ceremony was quite touching. My friend's reference to his father and his father's influence on his career and family brought glistens to more military eyes than I would have thought possible.

 

[Dagwood]

Maybe we need a definition of occasion. I found this definition of “occasion” on Dictionary.com: “a special or important time, event, ceremony, celebration, etc.”

It is not that we have lost occasions (after all, we still have birthdays, funerals, graduations, etc.) but, rather, as Matt lamented in his first post, he no longer feels “the energy of the occasion.” The issue, then, is how do we capture “the energy of the occasion?” Can we recapture it simply by dressing nice and being polite? Was “the energy of the occasion” ever there to begin with? I don’t know the answers but I thought I would throw it out there for your thoughts and opinions.

 

[Paisley]

I like your point, Dagwood. I think that having some structure to events of an occasion is especially important among a larger group or people who don't know one another well. Even among family members, it's not a bad idea. Who hasn't been to a reunion or Father's Day cookout where everyone is just standing around drinking beer, or spouses sit together and loudly discuss friends who are unknown to most of the other guests?

It might sound formal and fussy to some, but this is where things like organized activities and seating arrangements can make a party more interesting than if you just say, "Oh, just make yourself at home!" Shy people can be seated next to chatty ones, single folks can be fixed up, a person with a painful knee can have a convenient place to sit, and bickering exes won't end up next to each other.

Along the same lines, a game of badminton or Pictionary while you wait for the burgers to cook makes you forget about how hungry you are--and it's better than letting your guests stand around and get drunk.

 

[Matt Deckard]

Was “the energy of the occasion” ever there to begin with?

Yes that energy was there or else it would not be missed.

It's the cream in the coffee... the salt in the stew. Without the energy you have no occasion. Occasions aren't a titled event, they are a feeling that makes the event important. Things are too realistic nowadays. Loss of fun coincides with the loss of people wanting to be zaney. Songs and fashions are looked down upon unless they are in the show... I'm saying don't shy away from being the show. Have a coctail party and advise coctail wear. No fancy undershirts and cowboy pants allowed. Some will decide not to come because a dress code may look elitest. Well, cowboys know how to dress up too and the denim pants are for the ranch not for the party.

We make the feeling of occasion by having toasts and using the cool looking glasses.

 

[vonwotan]

Reading through this thread has reminded me of all the anticipation and enjoyable preparation for events and "occasions"" when we were growing up. I agree with everyone that an occasion takes some forethought. Excited to be going out we used to love the process of getting "dressed up" and depending on the occasion, much of the preparation that was required. One of my favorite occasions was a business dinner my father hosted at our home. It was the first time my parents allowed me to cater the entire affair with our maid and our husband serving and acting as bartender. They gave me a free hand to go to our local grocer, butcher, wine shop (back in the days when the kids could still go in to place an order for delivery), et al. For that dinner I made a very healthy four course meal. Starting with and oyster soup, followed by a frisee salad with lardons. The main course was a coq au vin that required two days preparation and quite a few bottles of Gevrey-Chambertin wine, goose fat, etc. and inspired by the healthful recipes of Escoffier with some help from Brillat Savarin and MFK Fisher…

Anyway, my parents’ confidence in my ability and the excitement of making this meal made the occasion one of my fondest memories. A few of my fathers old business associates also remember the meal and insist it was the best coq au vin they have eaten. The whole dinner scene was wonderful with everyone beautifully dressed, the good crystal and china on the table, and a long leisurely meal with good conversation. Unfortunately, despite some friends’ best efforts, the art of the dinner party seems lost on most.

 

[Pink Dahlia]

I have a high school reunion coming up. Shudder. Does that count as an occasion?

Attire is "causal." Ha! I'm not going casual to my reunion! I'll be vintage and classy.

 

[Jovan]

What I've never gotten is why invites aren't specific as to what they mean -- "casual" can mean anything depending on who you talk to! One shouldn't be afraid to indicate "e.g. sport coat and trousers" or something to that effect.

 

[Matt Deckard]

Casual to a party I throw is a suit or sportcoat ensemble without a tie.

Make note.

 

[Jovan]

I certainly will... if I ever GET to go to California!

 

[Twitch]

Many valid points to ponder. Very good input all.

I have just relived it all once again at a the funeral this weekend of one our vintage car friends. Out of some 100 people I was one of only 2 with an actual suit and tie. There were a couple spots coats but by and large it was casual to the max. My wife was one of very few women in a dress though many of the women dressed tastefully in somber pant ensembles.

The deceased was a casual dress fellow as he was a machinist for 40 years but the words echoed right here went with me to the cemetary as I refelcted to my wife about "sense of occassion."

And as for ex-military, the gentleman in his 30s who represented the US Navy that folded and presented the American flag to the widow was sharply attired in a black suit.

Certainly if a fellow is well dressed and for some unknown reason feels the compulsion to take a step down to the luoa-look level he could remove his tie and jacket. But if he arrives casual at a more formal event he can't quickly dress up, as it were.

 

[Paisley]

Success!

I had a nice pot-luck dinner party for my best guy friend, Joe, last night. Everybody showed up and brought what they were supposed to bring. We had roast chicken, fettucini, salad and tiramisu.

There were four of us and we had a good dinner and lively conversation. Joe has a lot of female friends and he passed around their photos. One of the guests would look at the back of the photos and make up stories as if he were reading something written on the back.

After dinner, we watched a little of a Victor Borge video where he tells jokes and plays songs by Brahms, Mozart and Gershwin, and all the tunes end up as "Happy Birthday." Joe went out dancing, the rest of us practiced tandem Charleston and I showed them what I knew of the Big Apple. For various reasons, instead of going out dancing, we decided to call it a night.

 

[Sweet Polly Purebred]

Chicago 1941

I saw this and just had to post it here .. When going to a matinee was an occasion ..

Waiting in line to buy tickets to the Philadelphia Story.

(Thanks to Shorpy.)

 

[Jovan]

The gentleman with the cane had class.

 

[Sweet Polly Purebred]

Exactly! He's .. perfect.

 

[Jovan]

It's such a culture shock, seeing even small children in coat and tie "just" to see a movie. Nowadays, it's practically a circus where you're lucky to have people who silence their mobile phones (even when the pre-show "reel" asks them) and don't make loud, obnoxious comments during the movie. Basically, more people in the last decade just have no sense of respect to other moviegoers. They can come in shorts, a t-shirt, and sandals all they want, just let me enjoy the movie I came to see! That's all I really ask anymore.

 

[carebear]

The gentleman with the cane had class.

Check out the pop on the tie, the jaunty angle on the lid. That guy has style.

 

[lindylady]

Wow. Yes, indeed.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

I had a nice pot-luck dinner party for my best guy friend, Joe, last night. Everybody showed up and brought what they were supposed to bring. We had roast chicken, fettucini, salad and tiramisu.

There were four of us and we had a good dinner and lively conversation. Joe has a lot of female friends and he passed around their photos. One of the guests would look at the back of the photos and make up stories as if he were reading something written on the back.

After dinner, we watched a little of a Victor Borge video where he tells jokes and plays songs by Brahms, Mozart and Gershwin, and all the tunes end up as "Happy Birthday." Joe went out dancing, the rest of us practiced tandem Charleston and I showed them what I knew of the Big Apple. For various reasons, instead of going out dancing, we decided to call it a night.

I am glad to hear it all went so well!

Sounds like a very fun evening.

 

[Paisley]

My guests also enjoyed playing with my antique phone. People are always surprised that it works.

Thanks for giving me a push in the right direction, Miss N.

 

[pretty faythe]

Even the cashier in the far end is checking him out and gettin' jealous. Ok so who is it, looks like he grew up to be somebody, something in the face is striking me as familiar.