Glass Shark
New in Town
- Messages
- 19
- Location
- Elkridge, MD
The eBay title stated Vintage Man's Hat Fifth Avenue Knox. Looking at the photo I could immediately tell that the phrases “like new'' or “looks like it's never been worn” would not be in the description. I didn't rule out “terrible industrial disaster” but that was missing too. The description did include the facts that it needs cleaning and there is a certain amount of discoloration on the liner but that was okay because I was looking for a “beater.” The opening bid was 98 cents and I thought it was well worth it given its potential.
When I first discovered this gem the auction still had three days to run and I marveled that there were no bids yet. Over the next few days I continued to marvel because its one of the few things I do well. I work the evening shift so that means I have to place an early bid on items that end while I am at work. On the last day of the auction there are still no bids before I have to leave for work. Going through my mind is the scenario of 9 bidders bidding in the last 20 seconds to snatch up this jewel. I put in a bid of $1.72. If the others want it, they will just have to bid for it! Let their wallets suffer.
Arriving home that night, I fired up the computer and found out I won...as the only bidder. Apprehension usually sets in at this point and I am wondering what everyone else in the world knows that I don't. This happens a lot of the time when I win an auction but this time I was the only bidder. Then it occurred to me. When I was a boy promotions often started with, “Hey kids, be the first one on your block to own this...(insert desired item here).” I was never the first one on my block and would usually be the last, if at all. So, it has finally happened with “beater” hats. The market has reached the saturation point and I am, once again, the last on my worldwide web of a block to buy a beater hat.
But, that's okay. The anticipation starts building. Soon, in a matter of days it will arrive, and I can hardly wait. As a kid, I ordered a pair of those X-Ray Glasses from the ads in the back of comic books ($1.00 + 25 cents shipping and handling, allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery). Time moved slower back in those days and anticipation could almost rip a boys chest apart. As an adult I don't have to wait 6 to 8 weeks for anything and shipping and handling has inflated to $4.20...at least on this hat.
Less than a week later, Art the postman knocks on the front door. I open it and he smirks, “You got a winner here!” Now, Art is not the kind of mailman that smirks, he takes his job very seriously. But he was spot on with his take on this one. He handed me a taped up cereal box and asked, “Is there a hat in there?” I looked him in the eye and replied, “It's too soon to tell but I'll keep you informed.”
I took the package to the kitchen table and looked at it. In twenty-first century America, the most prosperous country on the planet, who sends stuff through the mails packaged in recycled Cinnamon Goldstrike Swirls cereal boxes? The hat has to be crushed flat in there! Then I notice the box isn't bulging like it should be if there was a crushed hat inside made from the fur of dead rabbits. The contents is stiff and flat and I am becoming very very disturbed. Trying to keep my panic in check, I get the scissors and cut the tape, open the flap, and pull out a piece of Styrofoam. Resting on, (partially in) the Styrofoam is a wooden handled kitchen knife! The seller had put my address label on the wrong box!
I haven't been this disappointed since I open the box containing the X-Ray Glasses.
Guido
When I first discovered this gem the auction still had three days to run and I marveled that there were no bids yet. Over the next few days I continued to marvel because its one of the few things I do well. I work the evening shift so that means I have to place an early bid on items that end while I am at work. On the last day of the auction there are still no bids before I have to leave for work. Going through my mind is the scenario of 9 bidders bidding in the last 20 seconds to snatch up this jewel. I put in a bid of $1.72. If the others want it, they will just have to bid for it! Let their wallets suffer.
Arriving home that night, I fired up the computer and found out I won...as the only bidder. Apprehension usually sets in at this point and I am wondering what everyone else in the world knows that I don't. This happens a lot of the time when I win an auction but this time I was the only bidder. Then it occurred to me. When I was a boy promotions often started with, “Hey kids, be the first one on your block to own this...(insert desired item here).” I was never the first one on my block and would usually be the last, if at all. So, it has finally happened with “beater” hats. The market has reached the saturation point and I am, once again, the last on my worldwide web of a block to buy a beater hat.
But, that's okay. The anticipation starts building. Soon, in a matter of days it will arrive, and I can hardly wait. As a kid, I ordered a pair of those X-Ray Glasses from the ads in the back of comic books ($1.00 + 25 cents shipping and handling, allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery). Time moved slower back in those days and anticipation could almost rip a boys chest apart. As an adult I don't have to wait 6 to 8 weeks for anything and shipping and handling has inflated to $4.20...at least on this hat.
Less than a week later, Art the postman knocks on the front door. I open it and he smirks, “You got a winner here!” Now, Art is not the kind of mailman that smirks, he takes his job very seriously. But he was spot on with his take on this one. He handed me a taped up cereal box and asked, “Is there a hat in there?” I looked him in the eye and replied, “It's too soon to tell but I'll keep you informed.”
I took the package to the kitchen table and looked at it. In twenty-first century America, the most prosperous country on the planet, who sends stuff through the mails packaged in recycled Cinnamon Goldstrike Swirls cereal boxes? The hat has to be crushed flat in there! Then I notice the box isn't bulging like it should be if there was a crushed hat inside made from the fur of dead rabbits. The contents is stiff and flat and I am becoming very very disturbed. Trying to keep my panic in check, I get the scissors and cut the tape, open the flap, and pull out a piece of Styrofoam. Resting on, (partially in) the Styrofoam is a wooden handled kitchen knife! The seller had put my address label on the wrong box!
I haven't been this disappointed since I open the box containing the X-Ray Glasses.
Guido
