The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

The Midwife Squad.

"Another telegram for you, Mr. Crosby." "Hope again? Send this reply, collect. 'Dear Ski-snoot...'" "No, sir. It's from somebody in Brooklyn, I can't pronounce the name. It says 'WHERE IS PETE COSCARART?'"

What is this, junior high?

"I even grew this moustache hoping it'd scare people away, but they just point and laugh!"

Soup's on!

"Oh, and until I get back, Bix is in charge."

Lord Plushbottom, The Early Years.

You need a distraction. Have you considered opening a hamburger stand?

So that's why they call her "Breathless."

There's an angle you don't often see in the comics.

 

[Fading Fast]

With a deep breath, Dr. Blick hangs up the phone. "Call the office," he sighs, "and have them get in touch with Mrs. Hirsch to reschedule her appointment. This time *I'm* going to Ozone Park..."

Now we know exactly where Shirley got her Shirleyness from.

*******************************************************

"Can't we try to make one that won't roll under the desk when you drop it?"

Cute.

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Yeah, that's what Mrs. Langford said.

What a crazy twist that would be if she really did hire those guys to kill her husband. Not that she exists or that ever happened.

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"No, sir. It's from somebody in Brooklyn, I can't pronounce the name. It says 'WHERE IS PETE COSCARART?'"

Everybody needs a hobby.

 

[Harp]

Passion is valid defense in circumstance such as the Fletcher slaying wherein death
pursues infidelity to tragic end; also, Donald Murray's defense needn't attempt tinker with
inherent case facts. All the more so with such sordid deception coupled resultant armed
vengeance lying upon premeditation.

Yesterday's Whitney proved a romp with Sovereignty again rising to occasion and Nitrogen
hitting the board for deuce followed Antiquarian and Baeza. Magnitude failed muster; however,
after four victories and international competition in Saudi Arabia with the Dubai World Cup at
Meydan, fatigue factors performance over past performance record.
Resultant superfecta payout was around $349.40 to dollar waged.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("So yeh," concludes Rosa, presiding over the Capiello breakfast table. "T'ey wan' me to go awnis 'Tex an' Jinx' t'ing on T'oisday." "Wowwwwwwwwww," exhales Heckie. "Y'know, she was Miss Rheingol'!" "She's done ot'eh t'ings," Rosa scowls. "Yehhhh," scoffs Heckie. "But Miss Rheingol' getseh pitcheh inna subway." "Like'at posteh ya swiped," cackles Angie, "an' hid undeh ya bed!" "Shut up, t'bot'a yez," growls Rosa. "Jerry, stop drinkin' ya milk out'a t' dish. You ain'a cat." "What I don' get," shrugs Heckie, "is what'ey wawnt wit'choo? Y'can't rolleh skate awna radio..." "T'way t'is Tex guy put it," sighs Rosa, "izzat'eh doin'ese shows 'bout diff'ent people wit' innehrestin' jawbs. He seen'at television t'ing t' ot'eh night, an' t'ought I was innehrestin'." "Wait'lee meets ya!" snorts Heckie. "Keep it up," glares Rosa. "T'ey'll have me onneh azza rolleh skatin' waitress t'at rolleh skated awl oveh't'eh dopey brot'eh's dopey face...")

("I guess it'll be awright," shrugs Joe. "Shoiley t'inks it's a great idea, Rosa goin' awna radio." "Jus' make sueh," reminds Sally, "she gives ya a good plug." "I ain' chewed t'bacceh in a mont'," denies Joe. "T'at's radio tawk," explains Sally. "A plug is like when -- oh, t'ey hit a home run inna Dodgehs game, an' Red Bawrbeh says 'an' a cawrton'a Old Golds slides down'a screen t' Pete Reiseh, 'r whoeveh. It ain' a reg'leh commoicial, it's when'ney jus', you know, happn'a mention it. I mean, Rosa could go onneh'r'n say 'it's a beautiful day, Miss Falkenboig, jus' as beautiful azza Big Joe's special, at oueh locations in Eas' Flatbush an' Bensonhoist, an' oueh new drive-in stan' wit'ta rolleh skatin' waitress out by t' racetrack in Ozone Pawrk.'" "Huh," huhs Joe. "Jus say t'at real casual like," insists Sally. "Look, lemme write down some ideehs....")

("Hm. Does he own the car free and clear or are there liens?")

(Don't stay up too late drinking, kids...)

(You can take the gal out of Pigtown...)

(And to think we just had the floor swept...)

(This is why serving staff hate to see cowboys come in...)

(You'll fit right in in the Village with that beard.)

(AMERICA'S NUMBER TWO HERO DOG needs to work on his lines.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

I'd rather go to Childs.

"And drop this in the mail on your way out. NO, WAIT, NEVER MIND!"

Got it all thought out, don'cha?

Hoot owl? Well, remember that owls are fierce predators...

Best vacation ever, sigh....

They'll be insanely happy togetgher.

Dudefight! Dudefight!

Careful what you wish for.

It takes a certain kind of resilience to faint and keep the cigar in your mouth.

"No, BUT HERE'S SOMETHING TO DRINK!" -- my mother.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Worker...

Coming events...


Will he have to sell his race horses?

 

[Fading Fast]

"Look, lemme write down some ideehs...."

It's sometimes hard to imagine, but 80 years ago "a plug" was kind of a new thing (not really, but in that context). Now it seems that half or more of all social media is just plugs. It's at a point where plugs are a currency of their own (until you try to spend a plug in the grocery store).

*******************************************************

Don't stay up too late drinking, kids...

Was this thing successful; will they do it again next year?

*******************************************************

You can take the gal out of Pigtown...

What do you mean her real name isn't Veronica Lake? Wait, she's not really Lauren Bacall?

Now, let me tell you about Cary Grant.

*******************************************************

"And drop this in the mail on your way out. NO, WAIT, NEVER MIND!"

The Daily News or the Eagle should do some real reporting, send someone down there, and tell us what conditions are actually like in the Mexican league. I can't be the only one who wants to know.

*******************************************************

That's not how farming works at all, son.

 

[Harp]

Zacca was Errol Flynn's last asset before bankruptcy and his fatal heart attack at fifty.

Nastalthia gives this reader the shudders.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("T'at fathead Rickey," fumes Sally, the Eagle spread across her lap on the front stoop. "Lookit'at. He won' even look Fitz inna eye. Whatta bum." "Well," offers Alice. "He did sign Robinson an'nem guys..." "Yeh," concedes Sally. "But lessee how much 'ee PAYS'm. LEONOREH! GET OUTTA T'STREET! Anyways, I hop'em kids count'eh money twice." "Heh," chuckles Alice, taking a section of the paper. "Lookit'ese ads f' school clo'es," she sighs. "I gotta take Willie downtown, get'im some new pants. Misteh Ginsboig let down'a hems on'nem ones we got'im las' yeeh, but t'eh still an inch shawrt, an' y'can't get'im t'weah clean socks." "School," sighs Sally. "Lil gimme some'a Lottie's ol' stuff t'at she's grown outa, but I gotta go t'ru it awl, make sueh Leonoreh don' reckonize none'v it. Maybe afteh'r I get done wit' Docteh Levine t'day, you'n me can take 'em downtown an' see'f'ez anyt'ing at Namm's y'don' hafta go in hock fawr." "Get use t'wit," sighs Alice. "T'ey don' stawp growin'." "New clo'es f' school," exhales Sally. "Y'know what I woeh t'my fois' day 'a school? A dress Ma sewed out'va floueh bag. 'Cep' she didn' wawsh it enough t'get ridda awl'a printin', an' it still said 'Eventually, Why Not Now?' awna back. She says t' me, 'jus' sit inna backa t' room, an' awrways be t' las' one onna line.'" "T'ats good advice," nods Alice. "Y'r atta backa t' line, y't foit'est away if somebody's makin' trouble. When I was livin' upstate an'na screws stawrted in..." She trails off, realizing that Sally is gaping at her. "Um," she ums. "Uhh -- Scrooge, I mean. Nem people was awrf'l stingy up'teh...")

("I t'ought you said you din' wanna BE in no show business," frowns Bink. "Ya been awn television, now ya gonna be awna radio. When ya gonna go inta pitchehs?" "It ain' my ideeh," sighs Rosa. "Shoiley Blick says I otta do it. She says it'll be good f' business. She says it's visibility." "You ain' visible," argues Bink, "when ya onna radio." "It was diff'ent doin'at television t'ing," continues Rosa. "Awl I hadda do was skate, like I do ev'ry day. But radio, ya gotta tawk int'a one'a t'em mic'ehphones an'nez a million people lissenin' to ya. I ain' no Mary Mawrgret McBride! I dunno howta tawk t' people!" "Y' otta tawk t' Joe's wife," snorts Bink. "She don' do nut'n BUT tawk." "Huh," huhs Rosa....)

(Sally's right. Count that 22G twice.)

(Some boring old prospector? Meh. Shoulda stayed with the circus.)

(I bet this is how Hotshot Charlie started.)

(The few time I've ever been out in the country, completely isolated, the silence absolutely terrified me.)

(Someone should probably tell Mr. Hix that a flaming cross might not be in the best of taste right now...)

(If this storyline goes on much longer, we'll have seen every picture from the underwear section of the Sears catalog.)

("Hmm." -- D. D. Eisenhower.)

(And you'll find him in every radio station.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Knockout drops? What is this, 1942?

Some folks here we've never seen before. Must be some new people in Mr. Hill's neighborhood.

Do you get the idea that there are no happily-married cartoonists?

HEY KIDS TRY THIS JOKE ON DAD

Honestly, you'd think he would've long since been banned from this beach.

Psychatrists? Not the will of Molech.

If you're going to have a henchman, be sure he knows what he's doing.

CHUMP

There's no love like the love of a sort-of family.

Sleep well, kid, we rise with the rooster.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Worker...

There's a New World Coming...

And how!

 

[Fading Fast]

"Y'r atta backa t' line, y't foit'est away if somebody's makin' trouble. When I was livin' upstate an'na screws stawrted in..." She trails off, realizing that Sally is gaping at her. "Um," she ums. "Uhh -- Scrooge, I mean. Nem people was awrf'l stingy up'teh..."

That has to be a deeply life-altering event.

*******************************************************

"Y' otta tawk t' Joe's wife," snorts Bink. "She don' do nut'n BUT tawk."

I love this running joke. Who calls her "the mouth?" I thought it was Bink, but is it "Miss Kaplan?"

*******************************************************

Sally's right. Count that 22G twice.

Sally is, but I'd bet the fast fingers happened behind the 22Gs: where that number came from is what they should get an audit of.

******************************************************

Some folks here we've never seen before. Must be some new people in Mr. Hill's neighborhood.

Neither secretary missed her Hollywood calling, but I think I'd lean to the real one as the imaginary one looks insane to me.

******************************************************

Psychatrists? Not the will of Molech.

I hear ya, but in that era, you had a pretty big risk of running into a Freudian and all of "that" stuff.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think "the walking mouth" started with Bink, but now it's all over East Flatbush. Wherever it is that you grew up, your reputation lingers long after you move away...

 

[Harp]

Rhymes with witch.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("I dowanna eveh take'at kid shoppin' again," sighs Sally, "if I live t'be a hunne't." "Ahhhhh," dismisses Alice. "She wasn' so bad." "Gett'n t'rown outta NAMM's," exhales Sally. "I'll neveh live it down." "An' ya neveh," snickers Alice, "even t'rew a brick." "Some frien'," fumes Sally. "Y' t'ink t'is is reaaaaal funny, don'cha?" "Ahhh," chortles Alice. "T' look awnat flooehwawkeh's face when Leonoreh run outt'a t'at changin' room witchoo right behind'eh." "He shouldn'a been standin'eh," growls Sally. "I neveh laid a hand awnim." "No, but I'll tell ya whatcha awtta do," snorts Alice. "Cawl Fitz. I heeh'ree's lookin' f'good tackles." "I dunno what I'm gonna do wit'tat kid," groans Sally. "I can't send'eh t' school innem ovehrawls. It's awl Docteh Minkoff's fault f'lett'n'eh wear'm t' t' clinic. He dowanna stifle 'eh poissonal expression. At's awl'ey DO in school, is stifle ya poissonal expression!" "We neveh had no poissonal expression when I was a kid," sighs Alice. "Leas' not wheh t' sistehs could see it." "I ain't cut out t'be a mot'eh," laments Sally. "I wasn' even cut out t'be a KID." "Y'know," suggests Alice. "You oughta cawl Durocheh too. Y'might come in handy nex' time t'ey play t' Cubs....")

("So I was wondehrin'," queries Rosa, "if y' wouldn' min' if I came oveh t' yawr place t'night." "Ummm.." stammers Joe, his spatula clattering to the floor. "I wanna tawk t'ya wife," Rosa explains. "I hoid she was good wit', you know, tawkin'." "Yeh," acknowledges Joe, retrieving the spatula and wiping it on his apron. "Some people, um, say t'at." "I mean," elaborates Rosa, "tawkin', like, in public. I mean, if I'm gonna do t'is 'Hi Jinx' t'ing awna radio, I dowanna soun' like a dope, y'know? I do'wanna go awneh mumblin'. An'ney tell me she's gotta good verce, y'know. Good'n loud." "Yeh," nods Joe. "Some people do say t'at....")

("G'd maaaarnin' Mavis," smiles Shaughnessy the Butcher, tipping his blood-smudged straw skimmer. "HMPH," hmphs Mavis Doyle....)

(Are you volunteering for a fact-finding mission, Mr. Holmes? Oh, and as far as the game story is concerned, where is Frankie Germano when we need him???)

(I've been following baseball for almost sixty years, and I have never once in all that time ever seen or heard of a batter getting his hand caught on a splinter....)

(Always think the plan thru before putting it into motion...)

(Honestly, none of the radio people I knew were ever this chirpy. We were all clinically depressed.)

(You can adjust or you can make everyone else adjust to you...)

(I had no idea we were going to have such a wholesome ending.)

(Comic strip patrol cops are the same everywhere....)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

KIDS TODAY

"Whaaaat's this?" frowns Uncle Frank, glancing up from his lunch. "Ya p'tateh bill," glowers Solly Pincus, presenting a long typed sheet. "Opoh," gulps Uncle Frank...

Pickles aren't so difficult, as long as you remember to check on them once in a while...


CHUMP, squared.

"So don't try running off, the place will be crawling with cops..."

"I mean, I've never been the same since I blew up that submarine..."

I thought these kind of cowboys hung around drugstores...

Mutton chops? The jokes write themselves.

It's like you never left the Army...

How'd that bear get in there?

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Worker....

Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick....

 

[Fading Fast]

"T' look awnat flooehwawkeh's face when Leonoreh run outt'a t'at changin' room witchoo right behind'eh." "He shouldn'a been standin'eh," growls Sally. "I neveh laid a hand awnim." "No, but I'll tell ya whatcha awtta do," snorts Alice. "Cawl Fitz. I heeh'ree's lookin' f'good tackles."

Ah, to have a video, or King or Caniff illustrating would be fun. Still, I can see it all quite clearly.

*********************************************************

"...if I'm gonna do t'is 'Hi Jinx' t'ing awna radio, I dowanna soun' like a dope, y'know?..."

Good for Rosa, she's thinking intelligently. Study, learn, get help, practice - the only way to get better at something.

*********************************************************

I've been following baseball for almost sixty years, and I have never once in all that time ever seen or heard of a batter getting his hand caught on a splinter....

I cringed reading it. Like you, that was a first for me.

Now, will one of our intrepid papers send an experienced reporter down to Mexico and find out what the heck is really going on?

*********************************************************

KIDS TODAY

Dad isn't wrong about not wanting his 15-year-old daughter to marry a 17-year-old sailor, but he didn't go about it the best way possible.

*********************************************************

"Whaaaat's this?" frowns Uncle Frank, glancing up from his lunch. "Ya p'tateh bill," glowers Solly Pincus, presenting a long typed sheet. "Opoh," gulps Uncle Frank...

Why not ship them over to Europe? They're eating dirt over there right now. Maybe the shipping is too expensive.

*********************************************************

CHUMP, squared.

She owes him a mercy/apology tumble, but then she'd never get rid of him.

 

[Harp]

The US Deficit estimate is $1,900,000,000, which in today's currency is approximately $68 Beeswax.
And private grain argues artificial control release. What a great time to be studying economics
and finance.

With Nastywitch having bared her soul to Terry, and her father presumably having his boys
lecture Terrence, Charles is due a reality check talk with the bark on.

 

[EngProf]

If you didn't read it already, go back and do so for the article in the Aug 12 "Daily News" in which the Navy is predicting
the nature of future war-fighting technology ("Buck Rogers"...).
Instead of some common crackpot future predictions of that era, they are close to 100% accurate, even mentioning submarine-launched cruise missiles
Just watch the news today and it's all there... (I'm impressed.)