LizzieMaine
Bartender
- Messages
- 33,771
- Location
- Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
("Oi'm tellin' ye, Francis," thunders Ma, "soomthin's gaaaht t'be DOON! Oi confronted Haahps Gaffney, an' he ADMITTED lettin' Leonora in th' back room with'im! Saaaid it was an aaaaaccident, aan' it woodn't happ'n again. Oi told 'im if it did, th' Haaahppar would do no more haaahpin'!" "Whaaat's th' haaaarm." sighs Uncle Frank. "She's joost a choild, she doon't have no ideaar what's gooin' aaahn in tharr, whaat haaarm c'n it be?" "Ye don't pay attention to 'aar," frowns Ma. "Ye don't realize how BROIT she is. Ye remembar what Sally was loik, how ye had to step smaaart t'keep harr from catchin' aaahn t'things. Well, Leonora is TWOICE that. Lissen to haar TAAAAHLK. She dooon't just goo goo an' gaa gaa no maaar. She's poot'n t'gethar sentences. She can READ. Yestarrrday she said roit out lood, in frooonta Solly Pincus, whaaaar th' nick'ls coom froom!" "Ahhhh," scoffs Uncle Frank, thru a sip of two-cents-plain, "Solly Pincus. Solly Pincus knoows fool well what's gooin' aaahn here, hee's been thaaat back room 'imself enoof toimes." "Next toime," scowls Ma, "it moit NAAAHT be Solly Pincus. Maybe she'll spoot aahf to haaar MOOTHAR! D'ye know what thaaat'd do t'Sally t'knooow what we been keepin' froom'ar aaahl these yarrrs?" "What makes ye think," burps Uncle Frank, "she doon't aahlready know? She ain't doomb." "Ooooh," dismisses Ma, "if she knew, we'd'a haaaard aboot it boi now. R'membar how she useta caaahry aaaahn aboot 'gamblin' is oopresssion'a th' waaarkin' claaaahss?' Aaaahnyway, leavin' Sally asoide, whaat if Leonora saaays soomthin' in froont of, well, say, a coppar? An HONEST coppar!" "Foind one," chuckles Uncle Frank, draining his glass." "Ye gaaaht an ans'aaar t'ev'rything, Francis Leary," scoffs Ma. "Don'chee?" "Oi do," nods Uncle Frank. "And noo Oi'm aaahf t'go see me good friend Saaargeant Doyle. An haaahnest coppar." "Maaark my waaards," warns Ma.")
Chinese infantrymen have cleared the Japanese from the railway and road junction on the western edge of Myatkyina, as bloody fighting raged thru that city's barricaded streets for the sixth straight day. A communique revealed that the cornered Japanese were counterattacking repeatedly from Myatkyina's western and southern outskirts in a desperate attempt to break out of the tightening Allied trap.
("MAAAAARK MY WAAAAARDS!" bellows Ma, as Uncle Frank saunters out, letting the screen door bang behind him.)
No families in postwar New York will live in "unsanitary houses," pledged Mayor LaGuardia yesterday. Speaking before a meeting of the Citizens Housing Council at the Cosmopolitan Club in Manhattan, the Mayor outlined the city's plans for the construction of $120,000,000 worth of low-coast housing projects as soon as materials and labor become available. "We are going to press for laws," declared the Mayor, "to compel vacating of all unlawful properties," and promised that the improvement in property values resulting from the removal of slum areas will offset the cost to taxpayers for the construction of the new projects."
The newly formed Communist Political Association held its first rally last night at Madison Square Garden, where approximately 20,000 persons heard CPA President Earl Browder issue a call for further, closer cooperation among the United States, Great Britain, and the Soviet Union. Browder gave particular attention to the need to protect British trade from the penalties of "free competition" against America's "unlimited resources and mass production."
Today marks the 100th anniversary of the first public telegraph message, sent by inventor Samuel F. B. Morse by wire from Washington to Baltimore, a distance of about forty miles. In the century since Morse tapped out "What hath God wrought?" the telegraph served as the foundation of a vast global communications network unimagined and unimaginable even to Morse himself.
(Good luck to you.)
Production of nylon hosiery will be so stepped up at war's end that every American woman can expect to own nine pairs. So stated Aretta Lynch Watts of the duPont Company to a meeting of the Women's Guild of the Church of the Epiphany. She warned, however, that the exact point where the needs of war production will give way to civilian manufacture is a question that cannot at this time be answered.
("But just in case, also do a run of "POSITIVELY NO CREDIT.")
("Witticisms from the cash customers were conspicuous by their absence." Yeah, this season's taking a toll on everybody. Oh, and this Nuxhall kid is a pretty old-looking fifteen.)
Not all the Dodgers went fully in on the silk-nightie look last night. Although all the boys turned out in their new bridal-satin home uniforms decorated with broad blue stripes, Dixie Walker and Frenchy Bordagaray declined to wear the matching white satin caps, appearing on the field instead in their regular blue wool toppers. No explanation for this divergence from la mode was given.
(You can't fool your doctor!)
("Just as an example, they keep using that ridiculous Nigel Bruce. Harumph! Haw!")
("Yes fraud! Don't tell me you haven't been getting half price at movies!")
("The Mirror Of Dorian Gray.")
(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG is always prepared for company.)