The Era -- Day By Day

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

The bar shooting story was straight noir. Hard boiled coffee and toast spread orange marmalade with whiskey.
Civilian articles such as philandering wives and German refugees, aided daughters and jealous husbands,
just can't make this copy craziness up.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Eighteen hunne't paiehs'a nylons," marvels Sally. "T'ank gawd f'slacks." "I miss gett'n dress'tup," sighs Alice. "I wen'nout f'ra date wit' Siddy las'night, an' I figgehed I'd, y'know, put onna dawg a bit, an' I din' have no stawkins, an' I was awl outta, y'know, liquid stockin's." "Whadja do?" inquires Sally. "Well, we had some gravy brownin' inna kitchen, so Mameh G. tol' me I could use some'a t'at, an' I painted me legs up real nice. Got dressed up real fine." "Putt'n onna dawg," chuckles Sally. "Yeh," nods Alice. "Wit'ta smella t'at gravy on me legs, six of'm follehed me home!")

The Red Army's massive advances will put Russia in a stronger position than ever before the coming tripartite talks in Moscow, and diplomats in London expect the Soviets to exploit that advantage fully. By the time American, British, and Soviet delegates assemble in Moscow for their first meeting, the Red Army will probably be close to the former Polish frontier, and will thus have created a political crisis in Eastern Europe which the Russians alone can take full advantage of. It is anticipated that the conference of foreign ministers and the subsequent planned meeting of President Roosevelt, Prime Minister Churchill, and Premier Stalin, will deal more with postwar reconstruction and political problems than any previous discussions.

The Germans, striking swiftly to deprive the Allies of any possible bridgeheads for an invasion of the Balkans, have recaptured the big Dalmatian port of Split and have seized the strategic island of Cortu on the approaches to the Adriatic Sea, according to a report today from the official German DNB News Agency. Simultaneously, an official announcement in London disclosed the departure of King Peter of Yugoslavia and his staff for the Middle East, presumably to prepare for their return to their homeland behind an invading Allied army.

Australian ground troops and dive bombers hammered at the last Japanese defenses ringing the New Guinea seaport of Finschhafen over the weekend, while supporting American heavy bombers attacked the enemy's rear bases hundreds of miles to the northwest. A communique from the headquarters of Gen. Douglas MacArthur disclosed today that Australian infantrymen closing in on Finschhafen from the north increased their pressure on Japanese pillboxes south of the Bumi River, less than a mile from the port, under cover of a heavy dive-bombing attack.

The Medical Director of the National Hospital for Speech Disorders says the continuing induction of stutterers into the Armed Forces is an indication of the "superficiality of the psychiatric examinations" given at induction centers. Dr. James Sonnett Greene called stuttering "an open and obvious symptom of nervous disorder," and declared that stutterers taken into the Armed Forces are "dangerously liable to crack up under the strain of military life." In a letter published in the Journal of the Medical Society of the County of New York, Dr. Greene urged that stutterers be placed only in "restricted service," or be rejected entirely -- and that those who have already been inducted should be "weeded out." Dr. Greene estimates that there are more than a million stutterers in the United States, four-fifths of them men, and "a large percentage of these" of draft age. Dr. Greene was confident that if any man should attempt to escape military service by pretending to stutter, however, "he could readily be eliminated by any experienced physician."

("T' Smilin' Irishman!" snickers Joe, as Uncle Frank sips his two cents plain. "Hey, you otta get a piece'a t'at!" "Nosir, Joseph," Uncle Frank replies. "Jus' caahl me th' Haapy Hibaaarnian." "Heh," hehs Joe. "Do t'ey really cawl ya t'at?" "If," nods Uncle Frank, draining his glass, "they know what's good farr'm!")

(Psst -- World War II was fought by "soy boys." Pass it on!)

The Eagle Editorialist reprimands Senator Burton K. Wheeler, whose florid anti-New Deal speeches have likely doomed his bill seeking to delay the drafting of pre-Pearl Harbor fathers. The Senator's "reckless utterances of the character typical of frustrated politicians will not enhance his reputation for sincerity or responsibility." Sen. Wheeler does an injustice not just to Government agencies which have contributed much to the war effort, but also to the American people themselves when he implies that their spirit can be broken by the meagre sacrifices they are asked to bear.

The EE also salutes Police Commissioner Louis J. Valentine on his ninth anniversary in office. Rising from the ranks from his beginning as a rookie patrolman nearly forty years ago, he has served longer than any other Commissioner in the city's history. He has kept completely clear of politics and crime conditions have improved noticeably during his tenure. And he is, as the EE is quick to point out, "a distinguished Brooklynite."

(When class consciousness dawns...)

(A $600 per man World Series share is still decent money. And I'm sure that the soft-tempered, gentle Mr. Hot Potato Hamlin will get along just fine with Connie Mack.)

The Yankees met yesterday at their Stadium clubhouse to divide up their World Series share, voting full shares to 32 men, including their batting practice pitcher, their road secretary, and their trainer. Yankees in the Armed Forces, including Joe DiMaggio, Tommy Henrich, Phil Rizzuto, Red Ruffing, George Selkirk, Buddy Hassett, and Norman Branch, were cut in for $500 each. Bat boy Pat O"Dougherty will get $750.

(I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE AND CAN HEAR YOU.)

(Well, at least there's one man in the city willing to "get involved.")

("SURE I'LL COME BACK DAN, SURE I'll COME BACK, IT'LL BE JUST LIKE OLD TIMES WON'T IT DAN JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!")

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG DOESN'T JUST STAND AROUND GRINNING LIKE A BIG ORANGE FOOF)

(Be sure to get 'em all now, you don't want to step on one of those barefoot at 2 AM!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

The affairs of the Crusty Old Commodore cry out for a Daily News diagram.

Oh, and you are positively not getting your deposit back.

"It's great -- now we can get the 100 pound block for the ice box instead of just 75!"

"Gee, if we work hard and study, maybe someday WE can be petit-bourgeois!"

"I didn't make a single mistake." Tsk, and you a reverend...

"Because I'm NOT your 'mamma!' I'm--" (peels off disguise) "COUSIN PRUNEFACE!"

"Stop babbling, young lady! Who do you think I am, Bim Gump?"

"You can't go! You're our survival rations!"

Nobody in this house has ever slept thru a night.

Well yeah, but that's his twelfth bowl.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

The more reliable fountains use a pump that dispenses syrup by precise measure. Just a tip.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

OUCH! Terrence had his arse chewed. I once passsed a captain US Army at Vilseck Germany without saluting.
Exited a mess and some Americans-all of whom I took for enlisted men-bound up the steps with this captain,
who red faced lashed a tongue whip ripcord out despite my British Army two-pips lieutenancy. I dutifully tendered apology but chanced the snip when I remarked his men missed me, a Brit lieutenant, and I emphasized his inclusion bits and bobs. He stammered something then turned on his heel after returning
my salute. Only barracks tablestakes certainly but a good poker hand well played nonetheless.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("What's that ye haave there, Joseph," inquires Ma. "Leonoreh's baby book," replies Joe. "I brung it in wit' me 'cause I wanna look up if she's had awleh dip't'eria shots. Sal's 'a one usually keeps up wit'tat stuff, but she bein' at woik she ast me t'do it. See, inna papeh heeh? Says it's goin' aroun'." "Ahhhh," recalls Ma, "thaat's a tarrible disease f'ra choild. Ye know, they nevaar had no shots farr that when me children were yoong, an' me Michael, why he come near to dyin' from it. He had terrible croup, ohhhh, an' his face all swole up -- poor little choild, I had to wait on 'im hand an' foot f'two weeks. I had Sally stay with the McCulloughs down the street, she had to share a bed with that awful little garrrl of theirs, that Mildred, before she could coom home." "Ain'nat t'same," notes Joe, "as'sat Mildred Kelly she woiks wit' oveh t' plant?" "Is it?" shrugs Ma. "To think that tarrible little snip got married. Did ye know they had goats livin' in the house roit with 'em?" "Sal says she's awl high hat now." "Better be a high hat," scoffs Ma, "arrr the goats would leap roit up an' knock it ahhff!" "I c'n see wheah Sal gets it f'm," chuckles Joe. "What?" "Nut'n.")

More than 200 Allied warplanes virtually wrecked the Japanese air and sea base at Wewak, New Guinea, destroying between 58 and 61 enemy aircraft and seven vessels out of a newly arrived supply convoy in the harbor, it was revealed by a communique today. Another Allied victory appeared nearly 350 miles to the southwest where Australian riflemen and artillery were hammering at the Japanese-held supply port of Finschhafen and piling up heavy casualties among the trapped enemy garrison. The enemy battled desperately from foxholes and machine gun nests along the western and northern approaches to the port, and Japanese planes struck at the Allied rear lines, but casualties were described as light.

With Senator Burton K. Wheeler (D-Montana) expecting to speak for at least two more days on his bill to defer the drafting of pre-Pearl Harbor fathers until after the first of the year, there will be no vote this week in the Senate on any phase of the issue. Senator Wheeler took the floor yesterday and created a stir near the end of the day's session by charging that "thousands of slackers are hiding behind Government jobs," but when he was challenged by the Administration to name names, he declined to do so, stating only that he knew that there were 197,000 single men between the ages of 18 and 38 in Government service. One Senator, normally an Administration supporter, indicated that Wheeler's "slacker" charge appears to have aroused greater interest in a bill proposed as a substitute for Wheeler's by Senators Josiah W. Bailey (D-N. C.) and Bennett C. Clark (D-Missouri), which would bar the retention on Government payrolls of any man between the ages of 18 and 38 unless he is a pre-Pearl Harbor father, certified as physicall unfit for military service, or deemed by his supervisor as a worker essential to the war effort. Another section of the Bailey-Clark bill would impose a similar requiremen on any members of the Armed Forces assigned to Washington desk jobs.

(Shouldn't that be "his attorney, Charles O'Rosenberg?")

Effective November 1st, the Office of Price Administration has ordered rents frozen at March 1, 1943 levels -- but with no refunds on rentals in excess of those levels paid between the two dates. The directive covers all rental houses, apartments, hotels, and roominghouses, but does not cover rentals of business properties. The order also bans evictions as long as tenants have paid rent since March 1st. The order also allows for special provisions where a landlord has made major property improvements since March 1st. The order from OPA general manager Chester Bowles covers all five boroughs of New York City, and makes New York the last major city in the nation to come under rent control.

A new scrap collection campaign begins October 1st, and Brooklyn residents will be asked to "search their homes from cellar to attic for metal scrap to be placed on the street for Brooklyn pickup day," declared borough salvage director Aaron L. Jacoby. Speaking before a meeting of Brooklyn CDVO officials, Mr. Jacoby stressed that scrap is so desperately needed at this time that even old pianos will be accepted intact. Previously, pianos were taken only if they were completely broken up and the metal parts separated from the wood. But for the current drive, owners of unwanted pianos may merely roll them out to the sidewalk and the scrap collectors will do the rest. Old flat irons, stoves, radiators, lawn mowers, skid chains, and boilers are also especially sought.

("Awww," awwws Sally. "Good ol' Misteh Eddie. I eveh tell ya 'bout t'time he yelled at Kilgallen for runnin' inna hawl? 'SLOW DOWN YE HOYDEN!' he said. T'at means..." "I know what t'at means," sighs Alice. "I got cawl'd'at a few times me'self. But hey, t'at pitcheh, he's sueh a funny-lookin' felleh." "At's Choichill," corrects Sally. "Misteh Eddie neveh smoked no cigawrs. He had one'a t'em lit'l clay pipes, but neveh smoked no cigawrs. I wonneh what he's gonna do, now't he's retirin'?" "Prob'ly sell used cawrs," snickers Alice.)

Sundown tonight will usher in the Jewish year 5704, as the sounding of the shofar declares the opening of the High Holy Days. Observations will continue thru the solemn Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur, on October 8th and 9th, up until Succoth, the harvest Feast of Tabernacles, on October 15th. Reform Jews will observe Rosh Ha-shanah from sundown this evening until sundown tomorrow, while Conservative and Orthodox Jews will carry the ceremonials thru sundown on Friday.

The Eagle Editorialist observes that "it will be interesting to see what sort of an explanation the United States Army has to offer for the promotion of Albert Anastasia" to the rank of sergeant, given "the little matter of his prison record." "Anastasia's general reputation as a racketeer would seem to make his military rise a little surprising, to say the least, especially as we've always been given to understand that the Army is averse to having its ranks tainted by graduates of penal institutions." After noting that Sgt. Anastasia was recently spotted enjoying a furlough by wagering large sums at Belmont, the EE suggests that it's too bad Col. O'Dwyer is hampered by Army regulations when it comes to expressing his views on the situation. "He'd have something interesting and forceful to say about the case."

(LIchty's been sketching in my back yard again. I was afraid that tree was going to come down during the last storm.)

(Leo just wants the season to be over so he can get back to doing guest shots with Jack Benny.)

Dizzy Dean, pitcher-turned-broadcaster, will not turn soldier. The Great Mouthpiece has been rejected by the Army for a punctured eardrum. "They pulled a boner," trumpeted the former Cardinal ace. "If they'd of only tooken me in, this war would of been over in less time than I used to spend listening to one of Branch Rickey's speeches!"

("Oh well, I shouldn't worry. A man wearing such a perfectly legitimate-looking suit and conservative tie must be entirely respectable. Why he was even wearing a collar bar!")

(I suppose we should be thankful Gould isn't drawing this.)

("Me, go back to being just another dumb flatfoot? In a pigs eye, Dan. What's Kay's phone number again? REMEMBER HER, DAN?")

(DON'T WORRY FOLKS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG CAN'T BE KILLED! SEE MY NAME UP THERE? IT'S NOT LIKE I'M SOME DISPOSABLE SUPPORTING CHARACTER WHO DISAPPEARS FOR WEEKS AT A TIME!)

(Some couples are just a perfect match.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

I dunno, something tells me she doesn't *really* want the "simple life."

Yeah, but Coca-Cola works better.


Come on, is being a "big shot in Gooneyville" really that high of a bar?

Don't worry kid, Dude Hennick can always use a sidekick...

"OH YEAH? WELL I'M GOING BACK TO THE CHORUS OF 'STAR AND GARTER!'"

Watch out, Tracy, she'll have your job.

She's only a Gump by marriage, but she's certainly mastered the patter.

Somebody isn't getting out of this alive. One way or another.

It's so rare to see Willie in his funeral suit.

Ah the carefree life of a 4-F...

 

[Fading Fast]

So amazed that FL's tech issues continue, but had to note (after waiting forever for the "reply" page to load), I would have lost a huge bet if anyone had said we will see "sensitive vaginal tissues" in a 1943 newspaper.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The tech issues have been really jumping around today -- it was whizzing along just like old times early this morning, and then about 11 it flattened right out. Seems OK now, but who knows in five minutes?

I have a copy of the Consumers Union guide to feminine hygiene and birth control products, published in 1942, and it tells you in no uncertain terms to keep Lysol, and Zonite, and Coca-Cola away from delicate vaginal tissues under all circumstances. Pure quackery, and dangerous if you don't exactly follow the directions.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

I have a copy of the Consumers Union guide to feminine hygiene and birth control products, published in 1942, and it tells you in no uncertain terms to keep Lysol, and Zonite, and Coca-Cola away from delicate vaginal tissues under all circumstances. Pure quackery, and dangerous if you don't exactly follow the directions.

Ok.

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Fast, Ms Elizabeth and all New England and Manhattan residents, word has spread of your weather
emergent rains. Please stay secure. all the best and prayers from the UK.

 

[LizzieMaine]

We're still dry here -- probably going to hit tonight -- but I hope Bro. Fading has been keeping out of the subway!

 

[Fading Fast]

Fast, Ms Elizabeth and all New England and Manhattan residents, word has spread of your weather
emergent rains. Please stay secure. all the best and prayers from the UK.

We're still dry here -- probably going to hit tonight -- but I hope Bro. Fading has been keeping out of the subway!

I'm fine, thank you both very much for asking.

The rain did knock out one of our building's elevator due to a small crack in a skylight in the elevator shaft (the building is from 1928 and the skylight's glass is the original chickenwire glass - amazing) that got flooded by the deluge. The crack was probably there for years, but the massive amount of rain and, as always, how it hit exactly, finally cause a flood and short.

We bought our coop after Superstorm Sandy and purposely chose a very high-ground neighborhood. So while we can get damage (to wit, our elevator) and small pockets of flooding, we hopefully, won't go really under like some low-lying areas can. Oddly, despite Sandy, real estate prices in NYC don't reflect a high-vs-low ground divide.

Lizzie, stay safe yourself as, my guess, you're in the middle to end of it about now. Knowing your boss, the theater will float away and he'll make you swim out and retrieve it. Kidding aside, be safe.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("I neveh had no fuh coat," scoffs Sally. "I neveh *wan'ed* no fuh coat. What was I eveh gonna do wit'a fuh coat, weah it t' Ebbets Feel so some fathead c'n spill beeh on it? Who needsa fuh coat!" "I hadda fuh coat oncet," sighs Alice. "Fella I knew give it to me." "You knew t'kin'a fella," laughs Sally, "t'at'd give ya a fuh coat? Wheh'z he now, Sing Sing?" "Nah," sighs Alice. "Atlan'a. Um, he likes t'climate.")

American Liberator bombers, in one of the most devastating raids yet in the Southwest Pacific war, blew up a huge Japanese munitions dump at Wewak, New Guinea, touching off an explosion that temporarily blotted out sight of the enemy base and turned the entire area into blazing ruins. An Allied communique reported that the Liberators dropped 145 tons of explosives all across the base area on Tuesday, but a single stick of bombs "hit the jackpot," detonating the ammunition storage depot at the center of Wewak Peninsula which was the enemy's main munitions storage base for all of New Guinea. Tons of earth and flaming ammunition erupted over the peninsula, and a second hit on a nearby fuel dump added to the ferocious blaze. Fires raging over the peninsula were still visible from the air 60 miles away from the target as the bombers flew homewart.

The fierce battle that finally cracked the German line at Naples left modern Pompeii in ruins, and crumbled away more of the ancient city than was buried in the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in the year 79 A. D.. United Press correspondent Reynolds Packard, traveling with the Fifth Army, reports that the main German defense line went straight thru Pompeii, and many of the town's civilian inhabitants were killed in the crossfire of battle. Some houses disappeared completely under the constant barrage of shells, bullets, and aircraft fire.

("Huh," huhs Joe, as Uncle Frank sips his two-cents-plain. "Any relation'a yez?" "Ohhh yes," sighs Uncle Frank. "Vaaary distant, though, vaaary distant. Oi know of haar, boot I doon't really know haar, if ye know what I mean." "At'sa sad stawry," shrugs Joe. "T'em pooeh animals. Y'know, t'is is like t'way we got oueh cat, Stella, y'know. T'eh was t'is ol' teacheh, t'is teacheh Sal had at Erasmus. She lived alone innis ol' house wit' awlese cats, an' she died, awl by hehself 'cept f'tese cats. I hoid about it, see, an' I wen' oveh t'eh, an'na cawps an'na ASPCA was awl'leh cleanin' out t'jernt, an' I seen'is lit'l kitt'n 'neh, a little striped kittn', wawndrin' aroun', lookin' sca'et, so I pick'd 'eh up an' stuck 'eh in me jacket. An' right away she stawrted purrin'. So I brung 'eh home t' Sal, an' we named 'eh Stella afteh t'at teacheh, an' she's awl fat'n happy now. True story." "Yarrr a foine boy, Joseph," smiles Uncle Frank. "Listen, you look aafter things here for a whoile, I'm goin' -- t'see somebody." "Yeh," nods Joe. "I t'ink y'otta do t'at.")

Senator Robert A. Taft (R-Ohio) sought bi-partisan support today for his proposal to require the drafting of pre-Pearl Harbor fathers under the age of 30 before any other prewar fathers are taken. Taft was hoping to offer his proposal this afternoon as a substitute for the bill promoted by Sen. Burton K. Wheeler (D-Montana) to defer the induction of all pre-Pearl Harbor fathers, regardless of age, until after January 1st. Unless such a compromise measure as is proposed by Taft is adopted, it appears certain that the Wheeler bill is headed for defeat when it finally comes to a Senate vote. The Taft measure would require that the entire pool of single men and childless married men be exhausted before the drafting of prewar fathers of any age, forbids occupational deferrments for any father under the age of thirty, unless that man is engaged in the actual production of airplanes, shipping, munitions, mining, or some similar job falling under a direct Government war contract.

Meanwhie, with illiteracy no longer considered grounds for rejection at induction stations, the Selective Service System is calling on local draft boards to work with local schools in setting up emergency programs to teach illiterate men to read and write before they are sent on to training camps. The program being worked out in connection with the U. S. Office of Education is intended to ease the burden on the armed forces in the operation of their special traning programs for illiterate inductees.

At sundown last night, 107-year-old Wolf Kurtzman, oldest resident of the Brooklyn Hebrew Home of the Aged blew three short notes on the shofar and one long -- replacing the traditional single note with a "V for Victory" signal to begin the borough's observance of Rosh Ha-Shana, the Jewish New Year. Thruought the borough, unprecedented thousands flocked to neighborhood synagogues, community centers, and even hired halls to join in prayers for their persecuted brethren in Nazi-infested Europe, and for the victory of the armed forces of the United Nations.

Television will be put to use by New York City police as their latest tool in the search for missing persons. Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine announced today that the new system, going into effect Sunday night, will use television to flash photographs of missing persons to receivers set up in each of the city's 85 precinct houses. Initially the telecasts will only take place at stated intervals, but eventually plans call for the service to be offered for each police shift each day, taking in all 18,000 men on the police force. "The day is coming," predicted the commissioner, "when television will be used in all sorts of police work."

(You know what's a shame? The fact that Mr. Astaire and Miss Henie have never made a picture together. That's a real shame.)

Reader Ernest V. Downey of Forest Hills writes in to criticize the recent ruling by Magistrate J. Roland Sala in the bookmaking case against Mrs. Florence Anderson of Flatbush. "One would have to believe in fairy tales," scoffs Mr. Downey, "not to know that this type of arrest is just as much against public opinion as many arrests under the Prohibition Act." He goes on to accuse Magistrate Sala of "prostituting the authority granted him" by using the case against Mrs. Anderson to "denounce womanhood generally and the defendant as deserving no more consideration than a guttersnipe or a hoodlum."

("Um, that actually is -- a good idea. Get on it.")

A Coney Island woman has been freed on $5000 bail pending a hearing on October 7th on a charge of possession of policy slips. Thirty-five year old Mrs. Rose Klein of 3118 Mermaid Avenue pleaded innocent before Magistrate Charles Solomon in Coney Island Court yesterday. Patrolman John Rindos, a plainclothesman, testified that he saw Mrs. Klein collecting the slips, and that when he confronted her, she popped one in her mouth and began chewing it, insisting it was a stick of gum.

("Don't think you can bluff me, fat boy," huffs Leo. "Fred Allen's off the air this season, and I know his sponsor!" "Judas Priest," sighs Mr. Rickey.)

Brooklyn's bowling centers are facing an extreme shortage of pinboys as the kegling season opens -- and the Brooklyn Eagle is offering to help recruit new workers to handle that job. Any person interested in making extra money this winter to buy war bonds should submit their name to the Bowling Editor, Brooklyn Eagle, and everything will be done to assist them in finding employment in a local bowling center. If you are under the age of 18, please note that your working papers must be in order before you may be hired.

(Looked to me like she didn't have any trouble reading the phone book...)

(And that was a nice Harris Tweed, too...)

(No goodbyes to Kay and Babs and Wolf? "Who?")

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG KNOWS BETTER THAN TO CHASE TRUCKS! THAT'S HOW YOU END UP IN THE POUND!)

("Ah, my swit fry cake!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News....

Hey, why isn't Tommy Manville in the Army?

Any day we get a bonus illustration from Mr. Clark is a good day. KEEP 'EM FLYING!

AND DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN!

"And not only that I start on the swing shift at Sullivan Drydock tomorrow!"

"AVAST ya SWABS!"

"Oh, and my kinda-brother in law is Bim Gump, the soft-headed billionaire!" "Oh, well, then, anything you want, my dear."

"And it's a REAL pot roast too, not one of those ones from Trenton!"

"Who cares what you found out?" CAN THIS MARRIAGE BE SAVED?

Dottie is like fruit flies -- every time you hope you've seen the last of her, SHE KEEPS COMING BACK.

Ah, so that's why he wearing the funeral suit.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and..

"Well!"

 

[FOXTROT LAMONT]

Martha 'Mickey' Devine could be Scarlet O'Neil.

Flip seems to have successfully landed himself in more than an Irvin shearling jacket. She-ar-ling. It's Chinese.
Cork should take Terrence under his wing and introduce him around before the lad kisses a propeller.

Germany had a New Yorker monsoon of its own. Bad weather like lousy news gets around.
Stay safe gang.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("It's like this, Mrs. Petrauskas," sighs the Western Electric nurse. "Your daughter's a fine child, a very fine child, don't get me wrong. But the way she talks..." "Whas'wrong witta way she tawks?" snaps Sally, her back rising. "She don' tawk no diff'nt f'm no utteh kid!" "Well, it seems," continues the nurse, "that yesterday she ran around the nursery calling all the other children 'bums.' A little boy had a toy she wanted, and she said, um, something like, 'gimme that you bum you," and made him cry.' And then when the nurse in charge tried to tell her that it wasn't nice to say that, she called her a bum too, and then -- um -- blew what they call a raspberry at her. Now, I know that some fathers can be.." "Fawt'eh?" interrupts Sally. "Don' go sayin' nut'n 'gainst my Joe, now. She neveh loin'tat f'm heh fawt'eh. He don' cawl nobody bums 'cept maybe atta bawlgame. She prob'ly pick'tat up f'm some'a t'ese utteh kids y'got runnin' roun'heah! An' nobody'n oueh house eveh blew no razzberry. She on'y loint'a do t'at 'cause she don' like beets. Whattaya doin' inneah, anyways, feedin'eh beets? Izzat whatcha doin'?" "All we ask," sighs the nurse, "is that you speak to your daughter and help her to understand that..." "Yeh, yeh," nods Sally. "Izzat awl? I gotta quota to meet, so..." "Well, thank you for coming by, then," concludes the Nurse. "That'll be all. Good day." Sally exits, and closing the door behind her she huffs back to the factory floor. "Buncha bums," she mutters.)

High Army and Navy authorities today were accused by a key committee of the Office of War Information of withholding from the public "an adequate day to day account of the war." The OWI's Newspaper Advisory Council, in making that charge, laid the matter directly in President Roosevelt's lap for resolution. The board further charged that any "complacency or war-effort letdown" on the part of the civilian public is due to their lack of understanding of war developments due to inadequate information provided to them. The committee then demanded to know why it is that Washington and even the President himself are often "scooped" on news of important war developments by Prime Minister Churchill and the British press. Why such information is not made available to American newspapers in an orderly manner "is something that has newsmen puzzled."

A confrontation between Mayor LaGuardia and Kings County Judge Franklin Taylor has erupted over the question of the use of convict labor at city facilities. The controversy broke out after Judge Taylor directed the grand jury to issue an indictment of any person who employs workhouse labor at any Brooklyn institution, after claiming that two convicts put to work at a Staten Island hospital were found to be "moral perverts." The Mayor, speaking to Rotarians at the Hotel Commodore, responded to Judge Taylor's charge by declaring that not only will convicts continue to be used at that hospital, but he intends to use them in all city hospitals as a way of solving the current manpower shortage. "The laws of the state permits convicts to be used for such purposes," noted the Mayor, in direct challenge to Judge Taylor's threat of indictments. The Kings County Grand Jury has no jurisdiction outside of Brooklyn. The Mayor stressed that the inmates now working at the Staten Island hospital have no contact with patients, and added that "we are trying to sweat the sin out of these men."

The American Federation of Musicians today signed a five-year contract with Decca Records, Inc., an agreement which is believed likely to portend agreements with other recording firms that will bring an end to the recording strike that began fourteen months ago. The Decca contract, believed to be a model for those offered to other firms, provides for the payment of royalties ranging from one-quarter cent for each 35 cent record sold, up to 5 cents for each $2 record. An additional provision relating to the manufacture of radio transcriptions from live broadcasts requires that musicians be paid for the use of these discs, at a percentage of the fees paid for the original broadcast. Union president James C. Petrillo estimated that total royalties under the new contract with Decca will amount to $3,000,000 to $4,000,000 a year once full production of recordings resumes after the war.

Holders of "A" cards in the Eastern rationing zone will now be entitled to two gallons of gasoline a week, up from the previous ration of one and a half gallons, but the increase in the basic mileage ration will come at the expense of B and C-card holders. Each B and C coupon, in all states east of the Rocky Mountains, will be reduced to two gallons. While "A" coupons will still be worth three gallons, the reduction in ration will be accompished by reducing the period of validity for each individual coupon by eighteen days. Thus the presently-valid coupon marked A-6 will expire on November 8th rather than on November 22nd. The eight A-8 coupons to be issued in the next mileage ration book will be valid from November 9th thru February 8th.

(She likes *BEING A* Marine. Stupid headline writer.)

The humble soybean is the food of the future, say dieticians -- who note that soy flour offers about three times the protien content of meat, is an excellent source of vitamins and minerals, provides food energy with a minimum of fatigue, builds nerves, and is alkaline in reaction. The diets of our Armed Forces are already heavily fortified by the use of soy products, and now the wide available of soy products for civilian use means the housewife may bring the benefits of the remarkable bean to her own table. Food scientists have solved a longstanding obstacle to wider use of soy foods by "de-bittering" the beans thru processing, leaving their products with a pleasant nutty flavor. Soy flour is now available for home use in a variety of grinds to suit any household purpose, ranging from fine grinds for mixing with wheat flour for baking to coarse flakes which make an effective extender in meat dishes.

The Eagle Editorialist salutes retiring Erasmus Hall High School custodian Eddie Mullin, who has shown that it's possible to deal with high school students for forty years and still come up smiling. "There is probably not a teenager at Erasmus today," muses the EE, "who can come up with a prank that Mr. Mullin hasn't seen before.

(PASS THE SOYBEANS!)

("HAH!" crows Alice. "SOIVES YA RIGHT! SEN' IM RIGHT TO T"FRONT!")

The Junior World Series opens tonight, pitting the Syracuse Chiefs, International League pennant winners, against the Columbus Redbirds, winners of the American Association flag. Game one of the best-of-seven series will be played at Syracuse, with Millard Howell starting for the Chiefs against Ted Wilks of the Redbirds. The Columbus club is a top farm team of the National League Champion St. Louis Cardinals, while the Chiefs are affiliated with the Cincinnati Reds.

Phil Rizzuto, still on furlough from the Navy, will suit up with the Bushwicks again this Sunday at Dexter Park. The youthful Yankee will start at shortstop as the Bushwicks face the New London Diesels in a twinbill.

(THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS B-WESTERNS OPEN FIRST IN BROOKLYN SO THERE!)

(Eyes seem to be working fine now...)

(Just where is the Professor getting the metal priorities to build these robots? Somebody report him to Donald L. Nelson.)

(Hating on poor Irwin to the very last, huh Andriola? What a punk.)

(AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG IS TOO MODEST TO BASK IN HIS GLORY.)

(It's nice to see Eva Gabor getting work.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

I'm sure he was a *really good* doctor.

And it's going to get worse before it gets better.

By the time you get there, kid, it'll be down to half a gallon a week.

Well that was easy. Hey Trish, how come you're not head of the OPA?

Tracy takes on his TOUGHEST FOE YET!

Hey Socko, how come you're not in the Army?

MORE TO THIS THAN MEETS THE EYE

"Um, are you from Pittsburgh?"

"Punching Beyond Your -- ah -- Weight."

Mamie Mullins -- Odalisque in Overalls.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And also...

You're supposed to wait till the season's over before you light the Hot Stove..

And finally --

Due to the paper shortage, we are forced to eliminate all future Elaine Barrie news for the duration.