The Era -- Day By Day

[LizzieMaine]

("Graham Aveneh!" snorts Sally. "Williamsboig! Well, 'atsa smawl town awright." "WHAT?" spurts Joe. "Nut'n." "Least it ain't Pigtown," murmurs Joe, as Sally whistles a bright tune.)

Residents of Babylon, L. I. are petitioning the Office of Price Administration to relax its prohibition on the use of gasoline for recreational motor boats, arguing that the order "works a grave injustice" against local amateur fishermen who augment their family food supplies with their catches. Members of the Babylon War Price and Rationing Board have petitioned OPA headquarters in Washington for a change in the regulations, arguing that if enforced as written they will have a "destructive" effect on the local food supply. "All in all," local officials argue, "hundreds of thousands of pounds of food fish are taken from the Great Salt Bay, contiguous to the territory served by the board, each season." The petition goes on to assert that local ration board members "can conceive of no greater fallacy than to legislate our people out of the privilege of obtaining so valuable natural foods at this time when all processed foods are necessarily restricted." The board further argues that an entire local industry, in which many people are employed, has grown up around the servicing and maintenance of private boats and their welfare, too, is being damaged by the regulations.

At least 75 retail grocers in the city knew that their prices for butter, eggs, and meat were in violation of OPA ceilings, and if they didn't know they found it out for sure when they were summoned to appear before the regional chief of the OPA's local food section in a hearing at the Manhattan offices of the Department of Markets. The grocers had all been cited by OPA inspectors for various violations of the ceiling price regulations. "In one shop," related an OPA agent, "we found a proprietor who had posted 'OPA CEILINGS' alongside 'OUR PRICES,' which ranged from 5 to 10 cents higher." The agent concluded that "there is general ignorance" of the price ceiling regulations.

("Dear Dr. Brady: How do I treat third-degree chemical burns? PS -- My legs are still hairy.")

The Eagle Editorialist deplores the recent ruling by Kings County Judge Louis Goldstein in the New Utrecht High School embezzlement case, under which defendant and former teacher Max Cohen will not serve a single day in jail. The EE points out that, in the case of Cohen's accused accomplice, former New Utrecht principal Dr. Maurice E. Rogalin, Judge Peter Brancato declared that Cohen's story that he had taken the money from a student fund only because Dr. Rogalin "made him do it" was "perjurious and beyond belief." But Judge Goldstein, in suspending sentence on Cohen providing he makes restitution, seems to be at odds with Judge Brancato, who concluded that Cohen was a skilled enough liar to fool everyone, and instead seems to place "some credence in Cohen's sincerity." "In the meantime, of course, the crime is just as serious now as it was when it was committed, and no one is going to serve a day in jail for it."

("Bonds and taxes, bonds and taxes, that's the way to beat the Axis!")

Major E. P. Delmarse of Bellport writes in to say that it's high time members of the State Assembly and Senate "stop playing around with the shopworn 5-cent subway fare" and pass legislation allowing the city to increase that fare as needed so that the riding public is forced to pay the cost of operating and maintaining the system so that the burden is lifted from the back of city taxpayers. The Major argues that the only beneficiaries of the five-cent fare are commuters who don't pay city taxes, but pay their nickel to ride the subway.

Mayor LaGuardia remains confined to his home with a "serious streptococcus throat infection," and will likely be unable to come to his office tomorrow for his regular weekly radio broadcast over WNYC. It is possible, however, that arrangements may be made to broadcast from the Mayor's residence. Dr. Edward M. Berckener, Commissioner of Hospitals, who is attending the Mayor says that he "is a very sick man, but the condition is not dangerous." Dr. Berckener speculated that the Mayor contracted the illness "because he is in a run down condition from overwork."

Internal Revenue offices in Brooklyn, Queens, and Long Island will remain open tonight and tomorrow night as taxpayers rush for the Monday midnight deadline for the filing of income tax returns. Today more than 36,000 persons crowded into the First District tax offices in Downtown Brooklyn, most of them seeking advice on the proper way to fill out their tax forms. Internal Revenue field agents were also sent out to provide assistance to employees at important Long Island war plants, including the Sperry Gyroscope facility at Lake Success and the Republic Aviation Corporation at Farmingdale, where war workers were said to be "paying their taxes with a smile."

(Whitlow is 35????? Where does the time go??? And Tommy -- what about Babe Phelps screaming and wailing and holding up the plane to Havana by refusing to get on?)

(Edward Everett Horton? Bob Cummings? Rene Clair? They're sorta stretching the definition of "Britishness," but what the heck, it's for a good cause.)

("THOUGHT I DIDN'T CHECK YOUR REFERENCES, HUH?")

("Alka Seltzer? Thank gawd, I'm already getting a hangover.")

("Drat! I thought that was a gum machine!")

(Is Tracy moonlighting as an OPA agent now? I bet he bought the Regional Administrator a nice suitcase for his birthday.)

("Besides, they'll never get away -- they shortchanged him!")

 

[PrivateEye]

I find "Hugh Stiver" hard to follow. The transitions and narrative flow leave me confused and I don't care enough to try hard to figure it out. I've stayed with the strip because I like the illustrations and I like participating with you guys, but I do not like the strip itself.

As I've mentioned before, I've given up and just skip past it.

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

And he didn't ONCE stand on his head? YOU'RE SLIPPING DICKIE.

I don't remember ever hearing anyone here in Maine, not even her political rivals, refer to Mrs. Smith as "the Sweetheart of Congress."

Hey kids, follow along for a great Science Fair project!

"Think of some gags! I'm all out of material!"

There's really no reason why Nifty can't just say "thank gawd, it's my son! We had a car accident and he ran off into the snow." Except that he's an idiot.

Overconfident corporals rarely make sergeant.

You've been dealing with Mama for ten years, Bimbo. Your nadir of despair really ought to be more of a plateau.

On the other hand, though, nobody gives soldiers ties for Christmas.

Well at least try to muster up some enthusiasm for it.

"That's it! You're my new efficiency expert!"

 

[Fading Fast]

...
"In one shop," related an OPA agent, "we found a proprietor who had posted 'OPA CEILINGS' alongside 'OUR PRICES,' which ranged from 5 to 10 cents higher."...
...

Seriously, that's either gross stupidity or gross arrogance.

...

("Dear Dr. Brady: How do I treat third-degree chemical burns? PS -- My legs are still hairy.")
...

Or just shave your legs daily; it's called grooming.

...

The Eagle Editorialist deplores the recent ruling by Kings County Judge Louis Goldstein in the New Utrecht High School embezzlement case, under which defendant and former teacher Max Cohen will not serve a single day in jail. The EE points out that, in the case of Cohen's accused accomplice, former New Utrecht principal Dr. Maurice E. Rogalin, Judge Peter Brancato declared that Cohen's story that he had taken the money from a student fund only because Dr. Rogalin "made him do it" was "perjurious and beyond belief." But Judge Goldstein, in suspending sentence on Cohen providing he makes restitution, seems to be at odds with Judge Brancato, who concluded that Cohen was a skilled enough liar to fool everyone, and instead seems to place "some credence in Cohen's sincerity." "In the meantime, of course, the crime is just as serious now as it was when it was committed, and no one is going to serve a day in jail for it."
...

It would almost be like, oh I don't know, stealing antique Belgian paving stone and the labor to build a courtyard from the city and then being allowed to pay it back when caught and say all is fine.

...

Mayor LaGuardia remains confined to his home with a "serious streptococcus throat infection," and will likely be unable to come to his office tomorrow for his regular weekly radio broadcast over WNYC. It is possible, however, that arrangements may be made to broadcast from the Mayor's residence. Dr. Edward M. Berckener, Commissioner of Hospitals, who is attending the Mayor says that he "is a very sick man, but the condition is not dangerous." Dr. Berckener speculated that the Mayor contracted the illness "because he is in a run down condition from overwork."
...

LaGuardia's worst nightmare, an illness that prevents him from speaking.

If they do broadcast from his residency, whose job is it to clean the microphone afterwards?

Streptococcus is always a dangerous condition in a pre-antibiotics (in general use) world.

Where is the Mayor mobile in all of this? Parked out front of his home?

...

Internal Revenue offices in Brooklyn, Queens, and Long Island will remain open tonight and tomorrow night as taxpayers rush for the Monday midnight deadline for the filing of income tax returns. Today more than 36,000 persons crowded into the First District tax offices in Downtown Brooklyn, most of them seeking advice on the proper way to fill out their tax forms. Internal Revenue field agents were also sent out to provide assistance to employees at important Long Island war plants, including the Sperry Gyroscope facility at Lake Success and the Republic Aviation Corporation at Farmingdale, where war workers were said to be "paying their taxes with a smile."
...

Joe, are you smiling? Or are they only smiling at the Long Island plant?

...

("Alka Seltzer? Thank gawd, I'm already getting a hangover.")
...

Really, that's your plan? You're going to give each one a couple of pills, a glass of water and watch them drink it. Stupidest plan ever.

...

Hey kids, follow along for a great Science Fair project!
...

Rouge was out in the jungle with Flip for how many days? And let's not forget she was slung over a camel for a time. You'd think they'd all be begging her to take a bath with soap.

...

Overconfident corporals rarely make sergeant.
...

"Hey, you know what, this would be a great opportunity for you, Mr. News Reporter, to get some real war experience. Why don't you go check them out first and then you'll have a great story for your wire service."

Wallet's not as stupid as he looks.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(“Awright!” gusts Joe, slapping a sharpened Number 2 pencil down on the kitchen table. “Wheazem papehs? I gotta do t’income tax! Gotta get it done today! C’mon, les’ go! No time t’waste!” “Lookit you,” snickers Sally. “I got t’at done las’ week.” “Y’did?” gawps Joe “Settle y’self down awready,” replies Sally. “Ev’yt’ing’s jake. I took it oveh t’Ma las’ week an’ took Leonoreh oveh t’Prospec’ Pawk, an’ by t’time we come back, she had it awl finished. Simple as a pimple.””But…” stammers Joe. “Ain’ I s’posta sign my name to it?” “Oh, t’at,” replies Sally. “I c’n writecha name betteh’n you c’n. Mickey tawght me awl kin’s a diffen’t ways t’write when we was kids.” Joe sinks slowly into his chair, and taps nervously with his pencil.” “Whassamatteh?” wonders Sally. “Y’got t’whole day off. Take it easy. Read a book. Look heah – t’is is a swell book. ’20 T’ousan’ Yeahs in Sing Sing.’” “Alcatraz,” sighs Joe. “What?” “Nut’n.”)

The Navy, graphically stressing the heavy toll paid by the Japanese for their vain attempts to drive U S forces out of the Solomon Islands, disclosed tonight that 64 enemy ships have been sunk diring the islands campaign against only 32 US vessels lost. In addition, 10 Japanes evessels were probably sun and 106 damaged, overdue, and presumed lost for a total of 39. Other US vessels, however, have undoubtedly suffered damage of varying degrees. The Navy’s recapitulation of ship losses in the Solomons campaign showed that enemy vessels sunk included 40 warships – two battleships, 12 cruisers, and 26 destroyers. US ships sunk included two aircraft carriers, four heavy cruisers, three light cruisers, and 13 destroyers.

French patriots and Italian troops are locked in bloody combat in the rugged Eastern French border district of Haute-Savole, reports from Switzerland stated today. Several thousand entrenched guerillas, supplied with arms and ammunition by Allied planes, were reported engaged in heavy fighting which began yesterday and the rumble of guns could be heard in peaceful Geneva, some 25 miles away.

Mrs. Marie Haas of Jackson Heights celebrated her 100th birthday yesterday at her home at 37-49 84th Street by rising at 8 AM to prepare for a party given at 3 PM by her relatives, friends and neighbors. A three layer birthday cake was served, with gold letters on it spelling “100 YEARS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.” Mrs. Haas was born in Ulm, Germany in 1843, and came to this country in 1868. Her husband John, who died 15 years ago, owned the old National Theatre and Garden, an old-time Bowery landmark, and was later associated in the operation of the Lexington Opera House in Manhattan. Mrs. Haas reads the newspapers every day and enjoys the radio, especially programs devoted to classical music, but she thinks news commentators talk too fast. Before gasoline rationing, she also enjoyed taking automobile rides.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation yesterday revealed that it has smashed a secret Nazi movement in the United States, which took its orders from Dr. Robert Ley, Nazi labor minister. The origanization, known as the “National Socialist War Victims Benevolent Association,” has operated in the country on an underground basis for the past seven years. Fifteen German Aliens, many of them members of the Nazi Party, and all associated with the underground organization, have been arrested in raids throut the city, and E. E. Conroy, special agent in charge of the Manhattan FBI office, indicated that the roundup has netted the remaining active leaders and has smashed the movement. Conroy stated that the organization had branches across the United States and was part of a worldwide German propaganda scheme intended to “emphasize that the German government had nothing but peaceful intention.” Conroy further stated that the FBI has had the organization under continuous scrutiny since 1936. The association had previously been headed by Ferdinand Espenscheid, who returned to Germany in 1939, and, Conroy stated, Espenscheid had operated under direct instructions from Dr. Friedholm Draeger, German consul who returned to Germany in 1941. The latest roundup brings to 1698 the number of German nationals taken into custody in New York since December 7, 1941.

(Isaiah 61:2)

More than 35 percent of precision jobs at one Brooklyn war plant are now being done by women. Two years after the Lewyt Metal Products Company, makers of precision instruments for the armed forces, initiated a program to train women in machine-shop work, women who once worked behind cosmetic counters, as manicurists, as waitresses, as dental assistants, as receptionists, as bookkeepers, and as housewives, now work as highly-trained machinists, able to turn out work as skilfully as the men they replaced. Personell director called the effective utilization of womanpower by his company “a complex job of human engineering” that required many adjustments, but expresses satisfaction that the women, in general, are often “more dexterous” than the men they replaced at precision manual work.

(I’m sure Leo is hoping this Glossop fellow works out. He’d hate to give up doing guest shots with Fred Allen.)

Old Timer Mae Armstrong remembers going bellywhopping up by the old Flatbush water works, climbing up to the top of a very long hill until Frieda Grader father came out and yelled at her. She also remembers throwing eggs at old Luk Hageman and his wife – “and they were not fresh” – and how old Luk would chase her away with a stick. And then there was Old Man Fitzpatrick and his turnip garden, where all the kids would steal turnips until the old man came out in his red flannel underwear and fired a shotgun at them. “Those were the good old days! Where have they gone to?”

(“Well,” says Ambassador Admiral Standley, “they’ll never say ‘Admiral Who?’ again!”)

Olsen and Johnson’s “Sons O’ Fun” will stay in New York after all. The rollicking sequel to “Hellzapoppin’” had been scheduled to close in preparation for a road tour at the end of this month, but business has been so good that the show will continue, moving from the Winter Garden to the 46th Street Theatre. “Junior Miss,” currently at the 46th Street, will also move, to a theatre not yet determined.

(BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BURRO??)

(Mr. Roosevelt’s usual lunch is a bowl of fruit cocktail over cottage cheese. So he really doesn’t need the butter.)

(Settle down there, kid, you’re gonna dislocate your knees.)

(Never believe your own publicity.)



(CANE HIM! CANE HIM! CANE HIM! And Dan gets an idea what to do the next time Irwin leaves his greasy old hat lying around.)

(Yeah, but what did the dog think of it?)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News…

Why do I get the sense that Mr. Monroe is no Pat Ryan himself?

Well, at least it’s better than a bus.

So I guess “sit tight and play it cool” isn’t an option…

“Mustn’t have any left over.” Stone cold.

Poor Pukka Din. His brother Gunga gets all the glory.

Settle down, Kadiddlehopper.

Don’t worry, N. K. Sweeney Income Tax Services is still taking new clients.

One big happy family.

Learn fast, son.

Don’t forget to sign up for the square dance classes!

 

[Fading Fast]

(“Awright!” gusts Joe, slapping a sharpened Number 2 pencil down on the kitchen table. “Wheazem papehs? I gotta do t’income tax! Gotta get it done today! C’mon, les’ go! No time t’waste!” “Lookit you,” snickers Sally. “I got t’at done las’ week.” “Y’did?” gawps Joe “Settle y’self down awready,” replies Sally. “Ev’yt’ing’s jake. I took it oveh t’Ma las’ week an’ took Leonoreh oveh t’Prospec’ Pawk, an’ by t’time we come back, she had it awl finished. Simple as a pimple.””But…” stammers Joe. “Ain’ I s’posta sign my name to it?” “Oh, t’at,” replies Sally. “I c’n writecha name betteh’n you c’n. Mickey tawght me awl kin’s a diffen’t ways t’write when we was kids.” Joe sinks slowly into his chair, and taps nervously with his pencil.” “Whassamatteh?” wonders Sally. “Y’got t’whole day off. Take it easy. Read a book. Look heah – t’is is a swell book. ’20 T’ousan’ Yeahs in Sing Sing.’” “Alcatraz,” sighs Joe. “What?” “Nut’n.”)
...

Joe really is better off not asking too many questions.

How freakin' perfect would it be if the "unnamed" third person in the IRS agents' tax scheme was Max Cohen, our favorite light-fingered former Utrecht teacher and now bookkeeper?

...

French patriots and Italian troops are locked in bloody combat in the rugged Eastern French border district of Haute-Savole, reports from Switzerland stated today. Several thousand entrenched guerillas, supplied with arms and ammunition by Allied planes, were reported engaged in heavy fighting which began yesterday and the rumble of guns could be heard in peaceful Geneva, some 25 miles away.
...

Rommel: "Where are the kids today?"
Montgomery: "I sent them over to Haute-Savole to play."
Rommel: "Great idea. With them out of the way, you and I can get on with the serious business of fighting the war."
Montgomery: "Thank you, I thought you'd appreciate it."

...

(CANE HIM! CANE HIM! CANE HIM! And Dan gets an idea what to do the next time Irwin leaves his greasy old hat lying around.)
...

No matter what the old man wants, Agate and Herbert could still wind up in jail as their crimes are criminal and the bank might not feel as the old man does. Plus, the butler will be screaming his head off about Agate (in particular) and Herbert's involvement.

Again, why does Agate dress like she's going out for a night on the town in the middle of the day?

...

(Yeah, but what did the dog think of it?)

The Confederate's Number One Hero Dog wanted to switch sides.

And in the Daily News…

Why do I get the sense that Mr. Monroe is no Pat Ryan himself?
...

Page Four is very Page Foury today.

...

Settle down, Kadiddlehopper.
...

Casual sex was invented for situations just like this. Have your fun for awhile and then go your separate ways. You'll have fond wistful memories of it later in life.

Mosley never could draw human feet.

 

[LizzieMaine]

"Friends began asking if the baby was bi-sexual." Well, you really won't know for a while yet.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("So...um..." heistates Joe, "how much did we..ah..." "A hunne't an' toity eight dollehs an' seven'y cents," replies Sally. "T'at's figgehin' ya $500 p'cent poissonal deduction, wit' t'ree eighty five f'me, an' t'ree eighty five f' Leonoreh. We don' get no deduction f' Stella -- which ain' faieh when ya t'ink of it -- but anyways, so t'at leaves seven hunnet' an' toity dollehs taxable income, f'ra tax figgehed at 19 p'cent, of a hunnet an' toity eight dollehs an' seven'y cents. T'at includes ya five p'cent Vict'ry Tax an' ya applicable surtaxes on awl taxable income oveh six hunnet'n twenny foeh dollehs. Ya look heah at t'papehs, y'll see Ma got it awl figgehed in." "T'at about cleans what we had inna bank," sighs Joe. "C'ep f' wawr bonds." "Smawl price t'pay," declares Sally. "HItleh gets heah, he's gonna be pretty p'ticuleh 'bout people who ain' -- you know -- exackly whatcha cawl 'Aryan.'" Joe is unusually silent. "I neveh t'ought of it t'at way," he finally replies. Sally lifts Leonora out of her high chair, and exhales. "I have.")

Secretary of State Cordell Hull, after an hour's talk with British Foreign Secretary Anthony Eden, stated today that "complete understanding" among the Allied governments is essential to every stage of the war and the postwar period. Eden and Lord Halifax, the British Ambassador, attended Hull's press conference today in Washington. Hull reported to the newspapermen that the conversations had begun "auspiciously," and Eden added that he has "already begun to feel better" as a result of the initial talks. Hull added that discussions such as he is now beginning with Eden could very well be extended to include representatives of the Soviet Union, China, and others of the United Nations who may wish to engage in exchanges of views and opinions. Earlier in the day, Eden spoke for about half an hour with Vice President Wallace. A luncheon at the Navy Department hosted by Navy Secretary Frank Knox and high ranking naval officers was to follow this morning's press conference.

Allied planes today were reported to be dropping guns and ammunition to French patriot armies hiding in the French Alps, and a full-scale battle appears likely after a Nazi ultimatum demanding their surrender expires tonight. Martial law has already been declared at Thonon on the southern shore of Lake Geneva, as a result of preliminary clashes between patriot bands on one side and Vichy mobile police units and German Gestapo agents on the other. Allied planes, flying in bold defiance of German occupation authorities, have dropped cases of rifles, machine guns, and cartridges by parachute for use by men under the command of French General Cartier and officers of the crack French 27th Alpine Regiment, who cast their lot with the patriot forces. Those armies are said to number 50,000 men in the Haute-Savoie border district of France alone, under the command of former French Army officers.

Continuing defections from the ranks of the reapportionment bill's opponents have left them with little if any hope of blocking Governor Dewey's firm insistence on the measure's passage. The result now is that barring any unpredictable elements within the next 24 hours here, the Governor's Republican supporters say the bill's passage in both the Assembly and the Senate tomorrow is certain by what may be a surprisingly large vote in its favor. The plan is to call the measure up first for passage in the Republican-controlled Senate, where virtually the same bill was defeated during the closing days of the 1942 legislative session, but where, the Governor's GOP allies say, the anti-reapportionment bloc has been unable to line up the votes to prevent its passage by the required margin of 26 of the Senate's 51 members. While the Republicans normally control the Senate by 31 votes to the Democrats' 20, a number of Republican senators are known to be "off the reservation" on this bill, Republican leaders say there still may be sufficient GOP support to pass the bill without counting on Democratic supporters. Queens Democratic Senator Peter T. Farrell will be one of the Democrats voting in favor of the bill, and the Democratic total is expected to be swelled by votes from the Tammany group, which in bygone years opposed reapportionment, but now, under the present leadership of Tammany Chief Michael Kennedy, has shifted its attitude -- despite the fact that Tammany is expected to lose substantially if the bill passes.

(Ew.)

A Prospect Heights man was fined $25 in Flatbush Court today by Magistrate VIncent J. Sweeney for violating the War Emergency Act by taking a shower during the blackout. Robert L. Greene of 183 Lefferts Place pleaded guilty to the charge after Patrolman Solomon Rosenwald of the Grand Avenue station testified that Greene had refused an order to turn out a bathroom light when ordered to do so, protesting that he could not bathe in the dark. Greene had appeared before Magistrate Peter Horn in a bathrobe and carpet slippers during his original court appearance on March 2nd, and annoyed the Magistrate by demanding to be taken home in a police car. The Magistrate, advising him that the police are not operating a taxicab service, told him to get a cab. Today, Greene protested to Magistrate Sweeney that he has been under a doctor's care as a result of catching a cold following his arrest, but he paid the fine.

(You do have to wonder how they come up with these double features.)

Christians were warned against "a conception of verbal infallibility in the Scriptures" by Rev. Dr. Alfred Grant Walton yesterday in his sermon at the Flatbush-Tompkins Congregational Church. Dr. Walton pointed out that the Bible as we know it today is "manifestly not the original form of the book, and has come to us as the result of study of many old manuscripts and versions," and he argued that to insist that our English Bible is "literally infallible" is to assume that no mistakes in copying have ever been made, that there were no mistakes in translation, and no mistakes in the exact meaning and shadings of words." Dr. Walton emphasized that the understanding and application in life of "Christian principles" are far more important for the believer than a literal interpretation of "old stories and folklore, hymns which people sang on various occasions, laws and precepts, and great prophetic passages." "The Bible is not a magical book," declared Dr. Walton, "but many people treat it that way. Verses are taken indiscriminately out of their context and brought together to prove some particular point of view. The person who does that sort of thing shows no consideration for authorship, for the time the books were written, or for the relation of the words to the particular situation with which they were connected."

("Know what else isn't rationed? Sleeping on the couch.")

(C'mon now, you can't blame Wyatt for last year. Blame Enos Slaughter for not going in the Army when he should have. If Reiser doesn't hit the wall, they win the pennant. I'll never argue it any other way.)

("Yes sir. There's a lawyer right down this next block.")

(Knocking over five flaccid aristocrats is hardly a challenge.)

("Tubby's Tavern?" Nice to see Irwin has a fall-back.)

(NAB HERO DOG IN BLACK MARKET RACKET. "IT WAS ALL THE KIDS IDEA" BO CLAIMS)

(A G MAN! GEE!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

No mere strep infection can keep our Mayor down!

Miss Sonia Gover. SHE"S GOT A NAME YOU KNOW.

"Oh. Did you bring a parachute? Because I -- uh --..."

Hmph. ACTORS.

WAIT'LL THE POST OFFICE INSPECTORS GET HOLD OF YOU!

"Oh, don't mind him, these dollar-a-year-men all act that way."

Oh, Bimbo, you dear naive boy.

"You guys go ahead and laugh, but all this is tax-deductible for me!"

Going around with a sleazy bandleader, huh? IS THERE ANY OTHER KIND?

Y'know, Moon is a young, well-built guy. HOW COME WE NEVER SEE *HIM* NAKED?

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

They really missed a chance here by not having Fitz host this ad in an Uncle Sam suit.

 

[Fading Fast]

...

Allied planes today were reported to be dropping guns and ammunition to French patriot armies hiding in the French Alps, and a full-scale battle appears likely after a Nazi ultimatum demanding their surrender expires tonight. Martial law has already been declared at Thonon on the southern shore of Lake Geneva, as a result of preliminary clashes between patriot bands on one side and Vichy mobile police units and German Gestapo agents on the other. Allied planes, flying in bold defiance of German occupation authorities, have dropped cases of rifles, machine guns, and cartridges by parachute for use by men under the command of French General Cartier and officers of the crack French 27th Alpine Regiment, who cast their lot with the patriot forces. Those armies are said to number 50,000 men in the Haute-Savoie border district of France alone, under the command of former French Army officers.
...

Even money that French General Cartier is related to the jewelry concern.

...

A Prospect Heights man was fined $25 in Flatbush Court today by Magistrate VIncent J. Sweeney for violating the War Emergency Act by taking a shower during the blackout. Robert L. Greene of 183 Lefferts Place pleaded guilty to the charge after Patrolman Solomon Rosenwald of the Grand Avenue station testified that Greene had refused an order to turn out a bathroom light when ordered to do so, protesting that he could not bathe in the dark. Greene had appeared before Magistrate Peter Horn in a bathrobe and carpet slippers during his original court appearance on March 2nd, and annoyed the Magistrate by demanding to be taken home in a police car. The Magistrate, advising him that the police are not operating a taxicab service, told him to get a cab. Today, Greene protested to Magistrate Sweeney that he has been under a doctor's care as a result of catching a cold following his arrest, but he paid the fine.
...

This guy is a moron. All this could have been prevented by a blackout shade or curtain. Magistrate Sweeney (any relation to Ma?) should have fined this guy an additional $25 for stupidity.

"Judge, there's no law against that."
"There should be. Shut up and pay your additional fine."

...,

Christians were warned against "a conception of verbal infallibility in the Scriptures" by Rev. Dr. Alfred Grant Walton yesterday in his sermon at the Flatbush-Tompkins Congregational Church. Dr. Walton pointed out that the Bible as we know it today is "manifestly not the original form of the book, and has come to us as the result of study of many old manuscripts and versions," and he argued that to insist that our English Bible is "literally infallible" is to assume that no mistakes in copying have ever been made, that there were no mistakes in translation, and no mistakes in the exact meaning and shadings of words." Dr. Walton emphasized that the understanding and application in life of "Christian principles" are far more important for the believer than a literal interpretation of "old stories and folklore, hymns which people sang on various occasions, laws and precepts, and great prophetic passages." "The Bible is not a magical book," declared Dr. Walton, "but many people treat it that way. Verses are taken indiscriminately out of their context and brought together to prove some particular point of view. The person who does that sort of thing shows no consideration for authorship, for the time the books were written, or for the relation of the words to the particular situation with which they were connected."
...

And in the Daily News...

No mere strep infection can keep our Mayor down!
....

Great 1940s example of a bullying politician not liking it when business owners exercise their free speech rights. They might be greedy and self serving, but there is no exception in the Constitution for greedy and self-serving behavior.

...

"Oh, don't mind him, these dollar-a-year-men all act that way."
...

Well, Sparky, who do you think paid for that toy airplane you love so much?

...

Oh, Bimbo, you dear naive boy.
...

We always knew Mama was a whore, but Bumley could run a beautiful covert blackmail game of Bim right now without ever having to threaten blackmail.

...

Going around with a sleazy bandleader, huh? IS THERE ANY OTHER KIND?
...

Joan! Joan! Joan! Joan! Joan! Joan! Joan! Joan! Joan! Joan!

 

[LizzieMaine]

("Ya ma ain' inna fish business, is she?" queries Joe. "Nah," says Sally. "Don' be a dope. Why would a canny stoeh sell fish?" "T'ey sell ev't'ing else." "What?" "Nut'n.")

Four senators today formally introduced a resolution to establish an international machinery to aid in winning the war and maintaining a peaceful postwar world, but Senate Foreign Relations Committee chairman Tom Connally (D-Texas) cast doubt on the extent of Administration approval of the plan. Shortly after Senator Joseph H. Ball (R-Minn.) introduced the resolution, calling it vital to winning both the war and the peace, Connally stated that "neither the White House nor the State Department has indicated to me approval of the resolution in its present form. Connally indicated that he personally opposes one of the five features of the resolution, which calls for a conference of all the United Nations to determine the proper conduct of military and naval operations. "The Commander in Chief and the General Staff of the United Nations are best equipped to direct the conduct of the war, and they appear to be functioning in entire harmony and to the best possible results." Sen. Connally further stated his belief that a conference such as the resolution proposes would "impede and hamper" the prosecution of the war.

An Albany Democrat has proposed the repeal of the Sullivan Law as a way to discourage muggings in New York City. Senator Elmer Quinn condemned Mayor LaGuardia for his "inefficient administration of the Police Department," and called for an end to the current law restricting the possession of pistols by civilians to those holding police permits. "The Sullivan Law should be repealed," he declared, "because it deprives the honest citizen of the right to go armed while thugs have their way about it." Senator Quinn's remarks came as two more "muggings" were reported in the city over the past 24 hours, both of which occured within a few blocks of 126th Street and Park Avenue, and which appeared to be the work of the same gang. Meanwhile, Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine denied that a new motorcycle patrol recently established was created as an "anti-mugging squad," as other police officials deplored newspaper coverage of crimes as "muggings" which might better be described as common street brawls or "personal altercations."

("Someday we should move this to April. People would have more time to do it, and things wouldn't be so rushed. "Don't be stupid.")

Two Bedford-Stuyvesant men were charged today with the receipt of stolen goods after admitting to buying forty carrier pigeons that had been stolen from a Putnam Avenue loft where the birds were undergoing Army training. Tom Lee of 354 Nostrand Avenue, a laundryman, and Victor Squeri of 584 Lafayette Avenue admitted to buying the birds from 16-year-old Maurice Daly of 307 Lewis Avenue and a 14-year-old whose name has not been revealed. Squeri stated that he paid 25 cents per bird for his part of the purchase, but stressed that neither he nor Lee knew the pigeons were stolen. Some of the birds, he stated, had already been converted to "squab on toast."

("Ecstatic or something." Swing it, Butch!)

Reader Mary Lodge criticizes the Eagle for showing its "anti-Russian bias" by jumping on the recent "false alarm" raised by Ambassador Standley charging the Soviets with "ingratitude," and is particularly critical of a recent editorial cartoon showing Stalin as "an ungrateful man." "When God comes to this earth to cleanse it from war and war machines and build His kingdom," she declares, "Russia will be in it as one of His redeemed countries. The same God that made the Pope was the creator of Joseph Stalin, and the Russian leader may one day be very near to God as His own faithful child."

(It'll be easier if you wait for the ground to thaw.)

A 19-year-old youth who lives at the Carlton Avenue YMCA has been charged with grand larceny stemming from the theft of $150 worth of meat from the organization's cafeteria. James Parker was employed in the cafeteria as a dishwasher. Magistrate Nicholas Pinto expressed surprised at the amount of meat involved in the crime, declaring "I didn't think there was that much meat around."

In Portland, Maine three men were arrested, and scores were injured in a riot that broke out when nearly 3000 war workers and sailors attending a midnight show at the Colonial Theatre decided that they hadn't gotten their money's worth. The rioters wrecked the theatre, ripping nearly every seat from the floor, tore down bannisters, and smashed out plate glass windows, littering the streets with rocks, sticks, bottles, broken glass. The rioters battled for nearly two hours with city police, the Shore Patrol, and military police before the brawl was brought under control.

(Of course, you don't get much of a center-field wind in a field house.)

("YOU MUST SPEND A NIGHT ALONE IN MY HAUNTED CASTLE! BWAH HAHA HAHAH! Heh, I always wanted to say that!")

(Just wondering, are there any *real* counts around?)

("Oh, it's nothing really, you should see me solve those 'Superman's Secret Messages' in the funny books.")

(THAT'S RIGHT BOYS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG IS NEVER INVOLVED IN ANYTHING CROOKED OR SHADY LIKE CLAIMING TO BLOW THINGS UP HE DIDN'T EVER DO.)

(Wait, "they'll get it in spite of you?" THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Yeah, well, don't make any summer plans.

War is Hell.

It's hard to put in a full night's work on an empty stomach.

"Well, at least we've got plenty of pickles to eat. Mmm, pickles."

Step One in his rehabilitation: Grow a moustache.

"Next time you can come in and pick up your own damn Ex Lax!"

"DAMAGING GOVERNMENT PROPERTY! THAT'S A GIG FOR YOU, CADET!"

BOOM!

Why no home is complete without a cat.

Wonder if this is how Artie worked it on Lana?

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh and...

"By Judas Priest!" thunders Mr. Rickey. "We must have a second baseman, and this Kampareno and this Glosspberg will not do! WILL NOT DO! What was the name of that boy that brilliant woman from Bensonhurst so enthusiastically boosted! Coscarelli? Coskowitz? Coscanislaus? Coscadopiulous? By gad, who WAS that woman? McDonald knew her name! SOMEONE GET ME McDONALD ON THE TELEPHONE! AND REVERSE THE CHARGES!"

 

[Fading Fast]

("Ya ma ain' inna fish business, is she?" queries Joe. "Nah," says Sally. "Don' be a dope. Why would a canny stoeh sell fish?" "T'ey sell ev't'ing else." "What?" "Nut'n.")
...

Ma's right, Swedish fish candy wasn't invented until the 1950s.

So, any relation between Ma and Magistrate Sweeney? That would be quite convenient for Ma's, uh, candy store business.

How much more fun was the "policy slip" business than the stupid government-run (like it's a kiddies' game) lottery?

...

An Albany Democrat has proposed the repeal of the Sullivan Law as a way to discourage muggings in New York City. Senator Elmer Quinn condemned Mayor LaGuardia for his "inefficient administration of the Police Department," and called for an end to the current law restricting the possession of pistols by civilians to those holding police permits. "The Sullivan Law should be repealed," he declared, "because it deprives the honest citizen of the right to go armed while thugs have their way about it." Senator Quinn's remarks came as two more "muggings" were reported in the city over the past 24 hours, both of which occured within a few blocks of 126th Street and Park Avenue, and which appeared to be the work of the same gang. Meanwhile, Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine denied that a new motorcycle patrol recently established was created as an "anti-mugging squad," as other police officials deplored newspaper coverage of crimes as "muggings" which might better be described as common street brawls or "personal altercations."
...

Obviously, the gun-law battles still rage in NYC as everywhere, but the city also still creates anti-specific-crime squads and, sometimes, touts them publicly and sometimes tries to do them quietly as appears to be happening here in 1943.

Announced or not, whenever muggings pick up in Central Park, police squads (interestingly, including a lot of motorcycle cops) increase until the crime numbers fall. NYC "lost" Central Park to crime in the 1970s/'80s and fought hard to get it back, so - so far - that lesson hasn't been forgotten and the police quickly respond to spikes in crime.

Today, though, it's done quietly because, nowadays, good liberal New Yorkers don't like to admit when they need the police, but they also don't say much against these squads as they don't want to lose the Park again. Everybody just whistles quietly and goes on about their day as the police do their job.

...

Two Bedford-Stuyvesant men were charged today with the receipt of stolen goods after admitting to buying forty carrier pigeons that had been stolen from a Putnam Avenue loft where the birds were undergoing Army training. Tom Lee of 354 Nostrand Avenue, a laundryman, and Victor Squeri of 584 Lafayette Avenue admitted to buying the birds from 16-year-old Maurice Daly of 307 Lewis Avenue and a 14-year-old whose name has not been revealed. Squeri stated that he paid 25 cents per bird for his part of the purchase, but stressed that neither he nor Lee knew the pigeons were stolen. Some of the birds, he stated, had already been converted to "squab on toast."
...

...

("Ecstatic or something." Swing it, Butch!)
...

I guess his strep throat is feeling better.

...

Reader Mary Lodge criticizes the Eagle for showing its "anti-Russian bias" by jumping on the recent "false alarm" raised by Ambassador Standley charging the Soviets with "ingratitude," and is particularly critical of a recent editorial cartoon showing Stalin as "an ungrateful man." "When God comes to this earth to cleanse it from war and war machines and build His kingdom," she declares, "Russia will be in it as one of His redeemed countries. The same God that made the Pope was the creator of Joseph Stalin, and the Russian leader may one day be very near to God as His own faithful child."
....

This did not age well for Ms. Lodge.

...
(It'll be easier if you wait for the ground to thaw.)
...

Just ask the cemetery workers, as we learned recently from the "dead bodies piling up" story.

...

In Portland, Maine three men were arrested, and scores were injured in a riot that broke out when nearly 3000 war workers and sailors attending a midnight show at the Colonial Theatre decided that they hadn't gotten their money's worth. The rioters wrecked the theatre, ripping nearly every seat from the floor, tore down bannisters, and smashed out plate glass windows, littering the streets with rocks, sticks, bottles, broken glass. The rioters battled for nearly two hours with city police, the Shore Patrol, and military police before the brawl was brought under control.
...

It was probably the woman or man who ran the theater's fault; people who run theaters have always been sketchy.

...

("YOU MUST SPEND A NIGHT ALONE IN MY HAUNTED CASTLE! BWAH HAHA HAHAH! Heh, I always wanted to say that!")
...

"Condition number one, you cannot marry Harold Teen."
"Who?"
"Never you mind, just know that you can't marry him."

...

(THAT'S RIGHT BOYS AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG IS NEVER INVOLVED IN ANYTHING CROOKED OR SHADY LIKE CLAIMING TO BLOW THINGS UP HE DIDN'T EVER DO.)
...

"I'll see to it, he'll never work in this business again!"
"You don't have that kind of power; it took you two weeks to get Gray to include you in an extra panel now and then and you had to agree to bring him his slippers every day."
"Shut up!"

And in the Daily News...

Yeah, well, don't make any summer plans.
...

"...people who run theaters have always been sketchy." Q.E.D.

...

It's hard to put in a full night's work on an empty stomach.
...

Yes, that line was sadly hilarious. "Let's see, torture first, eat second or eat first, torture second, decisions, decisions."

Oh and...

"By Judas Priest!" thunders Mr. Rickey. "We must have a second baseman, and this Kampareno and this Glosspberg will not do! WILL NOT DO! What was the name of that boy that brilliant woman from Bensonhurst so enthusiastically boosted! Coscarelli? Coskowitz? Coscanislaus? Coscadopiulous? By gad, who WAS that woman? McDonald knew her name! SOMEONE GET ME McDONALD ON THE TELEPHONE! AND REVERSE THE CHARGES!"

"...Coscarelli? Coskowitz? Coscanislaus? Coscadopiulous?" So true to the era and very, very funny. "Coskowitz" LOL.

"...AND REVERSE THE CHARGES!" So true to the era again - even the big guys thought about phone charges back then. Very funny.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Desperate to know what exactly they didn't get for their money, a trip to the Out of Town Newsstand finds no Portland Press Heralds left, but we do find the Bangor Daily News, which yields this information:

A "Midnight Stag Show?" Either the linotypist left off an E, or the films shown were likely the sort that would not have been fully appreciated by the municipal authorities. The whole thing suggests that said authorities may have stepped in only when they learned the nature of the evening's entertainment. And of course, a theatre full of drunken boilermakers would be expected to calmly receive their counsel.

We never have stag films or dice games at our theatre. Well, "art" films, maybe, but never "stag" films. But never have we been in violation of the beano, bingo, or crap game regulations. I have, however, touted SCREENO as part of our current centennial celebration if we can get legal permission from the state to do it.

 

[PrivateEye]

In Portland, Maine three men were arrested, and scores were injured in a riot that broke out when nearly 3000 war workers and sailors attending a midnight show at the Colonial Theatre decided that they hadn't gotten their money's worth. The rioters wrecked the theatre, ripping nearly every seat from the floor, tore down bannisters, and smashed out plate glass windows, littering the streets with rocks, sticks, bottles, broken glass. The rioters battled for nearly two hours with city police, the Shore Patrol, and military police before the brawl was brought under control.

Careful Lizzie, those Maine theatre crowds can be vicious...

 

[Fading Fast]

Desperate to know what exactly they didn't get for their money, a trip to the Out of Town Newsstand finds no Portland Press Heralds left, but we do find the Bangor Daily News, which yields this information:

View attachment 498542

A "Midnight Stag Show?" Either the linotypist left off an E, or the films shown were likely the sort that would not have been fully appreciated by the municipal authorities. The whole thing suggests that said authorities may have stepped in only when they learned the nature of the evening's entertainment. And of course, a theatre full of drunken boilermakers would be expected to calmly receive their counsel.

We never have stag films or dice games at our theatre. Well, "art" films, maybe, but never "stag" films. But never have we been in violation of the beano, bingo, or crap game regulations. I have, however, touted SCREENO as part of our current centennial celebration if we can get legal permission from the state to do it.

This story is so much better than what we learned in the Eagle. While still not completely clear, the basic outline is a bunch of drunk factory workers at midnight took action into their own hands when told they wouldn't see the naked girlies they had been promised. How did Page Four miss this angle?

Also, I guess the Chairman of the City Counsel, who threatened to pull the theater's license, didn't read the part about the theater not having a license. "That's it!" he thundered, "I'm pulling their license!" "Umm, excuse me Sir, the theater didn't have a license." "Well, umm, uh, pull it anyway!" (To be sure, they could be talking about different licenses, but never let the facts get in the way....)

 

[LizzieMaine]

I think what must've happened is that somebody from the city called up the State Insurance Commissioner in Augusta in the middle of the night, rousted him out of bed, and got him to cancel the theatre's license -- and the city moved in to arrest the manager for showing motion pictures without a license. At the time, with nitrate film an ever-present risk, the licensing requirments for film exhibition were exceedingly strict, and a move like this would be an easy way to quench a show that didn't have official sanction.

I do have to wonder what this manager was thinking to rent out his house for something like this without making sure he had extra security in place. We've had shows here where I've had to put out a call for anyone with a spare boyfriend/brother/uncle/husband/beefy kid available for rental to present them at our employees' entrance in exchange for a free ticket, and I've had shows where I've actually had to have plainclothes police on the premises because of rumors of possible political trouble. I couldn't *imagine* doing this type of a show without extra help on hand to deal with the inevitable results.