The Era -- Day By Day

[PrivateEye]

(One Size Fits All.)

It always starts as an innocent bathing-suit modeling job...

 

[Fading Fast]

...

President Roosevelt told the country last night that the war has reached its turning point, but warned against premature "exultation." Speaking to the New York Herald Tribune Forum in an address also broadcast by radio, the President acknowledged that "we have had an uphill fight all the way, and it will continue to be uphill, all the way. There can be no coasting to victory." The President particularly cautioned against listening to "war discussions of the uninformed," or to "blustering war critics" who are "actuated by political motives." He pointed out that those not in possession of all the facts must speak based "on guesswork based on information of doubtful accuracy," "Loose talk," he stressed, "is the damp that gets into the powder. We prefer to keep our powder dry."
...

"It's odd, but Burma warned me about 'premature exultation,' or I believe that's what she called it anyway," thinks a confused Terry to himself.

...

("What used stockins? I been we...

"Darn it, I told that copy boy to make sure "wash your old stockings" was underlined."

...

A forty-year-old man convicted last year of mail fraud was found guilty yesterday of using a recess in that trial to swindle an elderly Williamsburg widow out of her life savings. Joseph Rosenberg was convicted yesterday in Brooklyn Felony Court of defrauding 74-year-old Mrs. Emma D. Voickmann of 111 South 9th Street out of $8150, which included all the cash she had on hand and all she could raise by borrowing additional funds and selling a mortgage, for which "commission" Rosenberg promised, he could find a buyer for oil stock for which she had paid $5000 some years ago. Rosenberg posed as "a former German Army officer" in furtherance of this scheme. Judge Louis Goldstein commended the jury for its verdict, noting that Rosenberg's operations across the United States have been "noted for their audacity."
...

"...was found guilty yesterday of using a recess in that trial to swindle an elderly Williamsburg widow out of her life savings."

Now that takes nerve. Also, there is no way on earth this man couldn't make an honest living, and a good one, if he wanted to.

...

(Look, Dale, I'm a fan from way back, and I really want you to make good here -- so please tell Herb he needs to explain the characters he already has before he suddenly causes new ones to materialize out of thin air. Just a tip, OK?)

This strip is the comic world's equivalent of those very-low-budget off-off broadway theaters productions where everyone in the audience is one of the actor's friends and there's no scenery or costumes. Plus, the dialogue makes no sense (but sounds "artsy"), yet you still have to sit there for two stupid hours because you can't hurt your idiot friend's feelings.

...
"Hey," says Joe. "Sump'n f' Leonora f' Chris'mas!" "Yeah," says Sally. "But let's get'm at Namm's. Remember 'at time we was inna city, an' I seen Killgallen comin' outa Bloomin'dales? "Oh yeah," replies Joe. "You really t'ink anybody t'ere would remembeh t'at?" "*I* remembeh t'at," growls Sally. "Little Miss Poifeck w'itta white gloves on an'neh nose inna aieh. LA DE DAH." "Y'didn't hafta trip her," says Joe. "Who says I tripp'teh? She wawrkin wheah I put my foot, t'at's awl."
...

Oh Sally.

...

Wait'll he finds out he's getting Postum.
...

Oh, he'll know if he's drinking Postum. In the recorded history of time, the only person on earth who ever drank that stuff when they didn't have to is my mother.

...

K, Rouge -- time to skip town. OH WAIT THERE'S NO TOWN LEFT!
...

Yup, save the yellow-haired one (since that is what all young, pretty women in Asia do when there's trouble) and skedaddle the heck out of there.

 

[LizzieMaine]

I actually performed in a play like that once. I had coffee thrown at me four times, and also non-dairy creamers. I don't normally do a lot of physical comedy, so it was a bit of a stretch, but it looks good on my resume.

A bit of investigation, by the way, reveals that "Hugh Striver" actually began on October 5th, but the Eagle didn't pick it up until about a month in. So we are, in fact, behind on the story -- but not enough not to be able to recognize that these two lunkheads ARE OBVIOUS NAZI SPIES. Or, if Dale wants to be really timely, they could be agents of the Bureau of Licensing on their way to investigate a new show that's opened with a baggy-pants comic and a stripper. Maybe we'll get special guest appearances by Joe Besser and Lois DeFee.

 

[Fading Fast]

I actually performed in a play like that once. I had coffee thrown at me four times, and also non-dairy creamers. I don't normally do a lot of physical comedy, so it was a bit of a stretch, but it looks good on my resume.

A bit of investigation, by the way, reveals that "Hugh Striver" actually began on October 5th, but the Eagle didn't pick it up until about a month in. So we are, in fact, behind on the story -- but not enough not to be able to recognize that these two lunkheads ARE OBVIOUS NAZI SPIES. Or, if Dale wants to be really timely, they could be agents of the Bureau of Licensing on their way to investigate a new show that's opened with a baggy-pants comic and a stripper. Maybe we'll get special guest appearances by Joe Besser and Lois DeFee.

We've all done the "resume build" thing in our fields.

I'm glad the strip has been out there a bit as I was beginning to feel dumber than I usually do. Maybe we'll catch up, but so far, it's not been easy.

 

[LizzieMaine]

("NOW LISSEN!" bellows Sally into the mouthpiece of the payphone at Schriebstein's Candy Store. "Ya CAN'T hieh Durocheh an' fieh Dressen! 'At's like keepin' t' MOUT', but gettin' ridda t' BRAIN!" "Hey," interrupts Joe, rapping on the phone booth. "Leonoreh's fussin'." "NO!" retorts Sally. "I DON' WANT NO MOOSE HEAD!")

Restoration of the Putnam Avenue trolley line serving Downtown Brooklyn a year after it was discontinued in favor of bus service will improve crowded borough surface transit only if all the released vehicles are immediately put into service on the three remaining bus lines. So asserted Downtown Brooklyn Association president Henry Davenport, in response to a communication from Board of Transportation Chairman John H. Delaney declaring that the former Putnam Avenue buses will be available to maintain service on other routes. Davenport also called upon the transit official to give assurance that the return of the trolley is a temporary measure only and that DeKalb Avenue will receive an adequate supply of buses in place of the trolleys as soon as conditions make this possible. Service on the DeKalb Avenue line, since its route was diverted into Willoughby Street following the demolition of the Fulton Street L, and Davenport emphasized that this stopgap measure has been "awkward and relatively ineffective," and that it has overburdened that narrow street to the point where traffic along Willoughby Street is often "completely stopped."

With coffee rationing due to begin in ten days, consumers in Brooklyn are howling at the "extension" of their favorite beverage by cereal substitutes. The operators of the Bickford's restaurant chain acknowledged today that the use of cereal fillers to stretch out the coffee supply has been a complete failure, with customers "telling the restaurants where to get off" in such strong language that the chain has abandoned the plan entirely and has returned to serving pure coffee only. If, chain officials emphasize, this means the coffee supply runs out from time to time, Bickford restaurants will simply tell consumers they are out of coffee and not attempt to offer a substitute beverage.

When coffee rationing begins on November 29th, stamps from the back of War Ration Book No. 1 will be used for purchases. Stamp No. 27 will become valid for one pound of coffee on the 29th, and that pound will have to last five weeks, until Stamp No. 26 becomes valid. Once Book No. 1 expires, householders will be required declare the quantity of coffee they have on hand, and a corresponding number of stamps will be removed from the new War Ration Book No. 2 to reflect that amount. Restaurants, however, will be exempt from stamp rationing of coffee, but will instead be issued allotments based on their coffee consumption averaged over weekly sales for September and October of this year. Rationing will have no effect on price ceilings, with the OPA emphasizing that the price of one pound of a good grade of coffee may not exceed 35 cents.

A Queens physician has been charged with perjury in connection with a city investigation into Workmen's Compensation fraud. The arrest of Dr. Theodore R. Freedman of Neponsit was revealed today in a report on the investigation made to Mayor LaGuardia by Commissioner of Investigations William B. Herlands. In addition to the perjury charge, Commissioner Herlands indicated that he expects also to charge Dr. Freeman with larceny relating to the presentation of fraudulent bills for services in ten specific workmen's compensation cases. In one such circumstance, the report alleges. Dr. Freedman billed the city for 82 visits by a patient who had seen him, at the most, 15 times. He was to be arraigned today in Manhattan Felony Court.

In Hungary, all Jews between the ages of 18 and 27 are to be drafted for forced labor, while in Norway all Jews regardless of age must register under a new law instituted by the occupation government. The German Trans-Ocean News Agency also reported that approximately 1,000,000 Hungarians will now be classified as Jews under a new law defining any person with two Jewish grandparents as Jewish.

(Well, as long as there's still pickles...)

(And stuffed olives. And fruitcake.)

Reader A. H. Eastmond writes in to declare that "no news item appearing recently is more gratifying to the people" than the news that trolley service may be restored on the Fulton Street and Putnam and Gates Avenue lines. "If ever there was a crime committed in the name of reform, it was the stupid removal of the trolley cars." Eastmond adds that the change back to trolleys "can't come too quick to please the people who are disgusted by the buses."

("A stirrup pump? HE WOULDN'T DARE!")

Police are holding a chicken hawk after a call complaining of "a wild bird" in a woman's bedroom brought an officer to a Bath Beach apartment building. Mrs. Carmella Agello of 2268 80th Street called for help when the bird flew in thru an open window, and when Patrolman Joseph G. Schiotis arrived he found the hawk hiding in a clothes closet. He had no trouble capturing the bird and carrying it back to the Bath Beach station in a cardboard box, but upon opening the box the enraged hawk sunk its claws into his arm. Patrolman Schiotis is now nursing his wounds, while the bird is described as "meek and mild" as it awaits word of its fate.

Former fight manager Hymie Caplin, serving a five to ten year sentence at Sing Sing after he was convicted in 1940 of participation in a ring of card sharks that fleeced unwitting out-of-town visitors in a series of Broolkyn hotel rooms, has asked Governor Herbert Lehman to grant him executive clemency. In his request that his sentence be reduced to time served, Caplin stated that his wife is ill.

The Collyer Brothers, famous Manhattan recluses, have staved off eviction from their four-story brownstone house at 2078 5th Avenue, by buying the house from the Bowery Savings Bank, which had held the mortgage. The brothers were to have been evicted yesterday but a lawyer arrived at the scene just in time to present a deputy sheriff with a check for $2000 for the bank, which, he stated, represented a tax refund received by the brothers from the city. By clearing title to the building, the brothers seem to have finally completed the process of sealing themselves off from the outside world, which for many years has rarely glimpsed them. Langley Collyer, the younger of the brothers, is believed to be caring for his older brother Homer, who is reportedly crippled and blind.

(Reading between the lines of Mr. Parrott's column, we can infer that the reason why Mr. Dressen will not be back in 1943 has something to do with his prowess at the card table. But nobody could possibly levy such a charge against Fitz, SO WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO SEND HIM TO MONTREAL???? HE DOESN'T EVEN SPEAK FRENCH!)

("Polly Plumpsett? I know all about how to manipulate HER!")

(At least it's not a leopard skin bathing suit.)

(Meanwhile, in hundreds of Brooklyn candy stores, bets are hurriedly placed on 296, 874, 113, 919, 717, 261, 822, 228, and 919. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THIS WORKS)

(THAT LOUSY CROOK VETERINARIAN! HE'S WORSE THAN A NAZI SPY!)

("Yeah, you know -- Sam Katzman runs the luncheonette down the street. That's where I put down all my bets!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

I personally saw one of my own junior high teachers slam a kid's head thru a wall, and throw another kid down a flight of stairs, and another kid over a desk. But we haven't heard anything up to now to indicate that Mr. Goodman was quite so hands-on in his job.

KIDS TODAY

The old lady's been trying to dump the place for years.

Those who can't do...

Nina will soon learn to toe the mark. Phyllis brooks no nonsense.

The porter himself is an undercover agent, because nobody would be fool enough to trust Harold to do this alone.

OH SURE GRAMPS. SUUUUUURE.

Hopefully the Sisters have a plan in mind to move up to a better venue soon.

I still think Hennick could outfly, outbrag, and outslang Flip any day of the week.

"What? Orange Crush? NO I MEANT BAKING SODA. Oh well, skip it, I'm thirsty..."

 

[Fading Fast]

("NOW LISSEN!" bellows Sally into the mouthpiece of the payphone at Schriebstein's Candy Store. "Ya CAN'T hieh Durocheh an' fieh Dressen! 'At's like keepin' t' MOUT', but gettin' ridda t' BRAIN!" "Hey," interrupts Joe, rapping on the phone booth. "Leonoreh's fussin'." "NO!" retorts Sally. "I DON' WANT NO MOOSE HEAD!")
...

Had it been invented back then, Ma Bell could've made a lot of money selling the Dodger's front office a call-blocking option.

That's some crazy sentencing on the dairy partners as it kinda sounds like one partner will never have to serve.

Had the Eagle only used the possessive form of "Rommel," it would have been a headline for the ages.

...

With coffee rationing due to begin in ten days, consumers in Brooklyn are howling at the "extension" of their favorite beverage by cereal substitutes. The operators of the Bickford's restaurant chain acknowledged today that the use of cereal fillers to stretch out the coffee supply has been a complete failure, with customers "telling the restaurants where to get off" in such strong language that the chain has abandoned the plan entirely and has returned to serving pure coffee only. If, chain officials emphasize, this means the coffee supply runs out from time to time, Bickford restaurants will simply tell consumers they are out of coffee and not attempt to offer a substitute beverage.
...

1942 Brooklyn wouldn't have put up with 2022 "shrinkflation" either.

...Once Book No. 1 expires, householders will be required declare the quantity of coffee they have on hand, and a corresponding number of stamps will be removed from the new War Ration Book No. 2 to reflect that amount. ...

Joe, Sally, how do you plan to play this?

...

Reader A. H. Eastmond writes in to declare that "no news item appearing recently is more gratifying to the people" than the news that trolley service may be restored on the Fulton Street and Putnam and Gates Avenue lines. "If ever there was a crime committed in the name of reform, it was the stupid removal of the trolley cars." Eastmond adds that the change back to trolleys "can't come too quick to please the people who are disgusted by the buses."
...

...

Former fight manager Hymie Caplin, serving a five to ten year sentence at Sing Sing after he was convicted in 1940 of participation in a ring of card sharks that fleeced unwitting out-of-town visitors in a series of Broolkyn hotel rooms, has asked Governor Herbert Lehman to grant him executive clemency. In his request that his sentence be reduced to time served, Caplin stated that his wife is ill.
...

Today, Caplin would have opened a crypto exchange.

...

(Reading between the lines of Mr. Parrott's column, we can infer that the reason why Mr. Dressen will not be back in 1943 has something to do with his prowess at the card table. But nobody could possibly levy such a charge against Fitz, SO WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO SEND HIM TO MONTREAL???? HE DOESN'T EVEN SPEAK FRENCH!)
...

"Stout!!!"
"I'm sorry, what did you say, Dear? [then to herself] Did it have to be Montreal and a fat comment on the same day?"

...

(Meanwhile, in hundreds of Brooklyn candy stores, bets are hurriedly placed on 296, 874, 113, 919, 717, 261, 822, 228, and 919. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THIS WORKS)
...

Today the "numbers agency" is called whatever store you buy a lottery ticket at and Sleepy th' Goon is the government that runs it.

And in the Daily News...

I personally saw one of my own junior high teachers slam a kid's head thru a wall, and throw another kid down a flight of stairs, and another kid over a desk. But we haven't heard anything up to now to indicate that Mr. Goodman was quite so hands-on in his job.
...

I've mentioned it before, E. L. Doctorow wrote a novel based on Homer and Langley (comments here: #8,623 )

...

The old lady's been trying to dump the place for years.
...

Operating might be a stretch, but he can still practice medicine.

...,

Those who can't do...
...

There's a big difference between a mansion staffed with servants and someone who comes in part time to help with the housework and cooking. People of relatively modest means often had some part-time help in their homes back in the 1940s as they had nowhere near the appliances and other conveniences we have today.

..

I still think Hennick could outfly, outbrag, and outslang Flip any day of the week.
...

Plus, of all the comicstrip men, he's the only one we know who ever truly got any action and he got it from the much-missed and admired La Raven.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Well, that was quick. No "Go to the Army or to prison?" sentence? And I wonder if Tommy Manville is in the Social Register? I'm afraid I've mislaid my copy.)

Plans to keep essential war workers and key Government employees out of uniform were disclosed today by President Roosevelt. The President, in a letter to the Secretaries of War and of the Navy, directed that no Government employees should be inducted into the Armed Forces or given commissions as officers, until a determination can be made on their essential status. The President further expressed the hope that a similar step should be taken concerning essential civilian munitions workers. The purpose in issuing the order, stated the President, was to ensure that "no one who is really irreplaceable shall be separated from an essential position."

Soviet forces, in hot pursuit of the shattered remnants of a routed German army in the southern Caucasus, have captured an important mountain southeast of Nalchik, battlefront dispatches reported today. The official Soviet government newspaper Isvestia speculated today that this latest Red Army victory will raise the curtain on a big winter offensive that will "rock the Germans from one end of the front to the other." The communique further reported only light action around Stalingrad, where the Soviets are in "full command of the situation," as well as substantial Red Army advances on the Volkhov front, below Leningrad.

Four residents of Woodside, Queens face trial today on a charge of operating a bingo game because, in the words of Magistrate Peter M. Horn, "the legislature hasn't gumption enough to legalize bingo." The four suspects were arrested by Captain Louis Goldberg of the Elmhurst precinct, who reported that they were operating a bingo parlor at the National Hall in Woodside on November 5th, under the auspices of the Harry M. Sullivan Association. The defendants admitted running the games as a fundraiser for the Boy Scouts, the USO, and other patriotic organizations. "I have no personal objection to allowing bingo games where the proceeds are used entirely for charity or churches," declared Magistrate Horn. "But it remains for the legislature to legalize them."

In Salem, Oregon an inmate of an insane asylum killed forty-seven of his fellow inmates by putting poison into scrambled-egg batter served for breakfast. Police were questioning 3000 inmates of the Oregon State Hospital for the Insane in an effort to determine who was responsible for the mass murder, insisting that there was no way that the poison could have made its way into the egg batter accidentally. The poison, identified as concentrated sodium flouride, sickened as many as 460 of the inmate who ate the eggs, and may yet kill another twelve who are reported to be "deathly ill."

(A buck fifty Thanksgiving blue plate at the Park Terrace? Nobody's heart is in it this year.)

The Brooklyn birth rate continues to climb at a record-setting pace. Last week 1216 new Brooklynites made their bow, compared to 777 over the same week last year. Deaths last week numbered 500, a decrease of 39 from the previous week and from 505 over the same week in 1941. One of those deaths was from typhoid fever, and three from automobile accidents. Brooklyn health officials reported 49 new cases of whooping cough last week, up 12 over the week before; 48 new cases of scarlet fever, up 5 from last week; and eight new cases of measles, doubling the count from the previous week.

("I dunno what kinda C'rism'ss pawty t'ey gonna have out t't' plant," sighs Joe. "I wan'ned t'sign up f'tat chorus singin' t'ing t'at Dixie was stawrtin', but they toint me away. Said I had a 'whiskey tenna.' Whassat mean, I don't drink nut'n but beeeh." "It's f'm yellin' too much," replies Sally. "Me? I don't yell," disputes Joe. "Well, ce'p when Leo leaves in a pitcheh too long, but uttawise I don' yell attawl." "You was yellin' yest'day!" retorts Sally. "Downa Schreibstein's! I was inna boot' t'eah tawkin' t't'at Rickey, an' you was outside yellin' ya head off about Leonora! People was lookin' atcha! I ask ya!" "I didn't yell t'at much," grumbles Joe. "I could hawrdly heeah a' t'ing oveh t'ruckus you was puttin' up. Y'got me so confused we awrmos' ended up wit' a moosehead." "I could yell a lot moeh," Joe suggests. "What?" "Nut'n.")

The Eagle Editorialist praises Branch Rickey's decision to retain Leo Durocher as Dodger pilot in 1943. "The lively Leo has endeared himself to the rank and file of fans by his fighting spirit and abounding energy," he declares. "They have felt that his faults sprang from his good qualities, and they'd feel something missing if the next season started without him."

(I, for one, excelled in civics. But yeah, algebra stunk, and so did chemistry and physics.)

A 38 year old man fell or leaped to his death from a sixth-floor room at the Half Moon Hotel last night. The body of Martin E. Moore, 617 E. 49th Street, was found on the Coney Island Boardwalk outside the hotel. Police said he had registered there yesterday carrying a single traveling bag. A note found in the room requested that the contents of the bag be delivered to a representative of the H. J. Heinz Company.

(C'mon, Parrott, INVESTIGATE! What's the real story with Dressen? Why get rid of the best third-base coach in the National League? Cards? Horses? The numbers? Did Leo owe him money? Did the shark get sharked himself? And how does Fitz really figure into all this? Why does Rickey *really* want to railroad him to the International League? Stop all this read-between-the-lines jazz. WE DEMAND ANSWERS!!!!!!)

(And "OH!" yells Sally. "YA LOOKIN F' INFIELDEHS? WELL T'EAHS A SWELL ONE ONNA PITTSBOIGS!")

("I didn't put in four years of nursing school just to be 'a doctor's wife,' you philandering fathead! SO THERE!")

("Oh really? Tell me darling, when are you going to do something about those repulsive blackheads around your nose?")

("SEE WHAT HAPPENS?" yells Butch. "SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T KEEP A FIRM HAND?")

("But Mama! I've seen that dog in the newspapers! He's AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG!")

(Please welcome our special gust star, in his first comic strip role, Mr. Boris Karloff. And his head isn't really that big.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Of course they knew it was loaded.

Aw c'mon! Where's Tommy??

You'll find out soon enough.

Movies on paper.

"Coffee? Don't be ridiculous. Have some Postum!"

"Here, let me demonstrate. Sandy! Come here boy! NOW WHERE DID THAT DOG GET TO?"

"And read the label on the can carefully. I just read an awful story in the paper!"

"What? You were expecting a clever plan?"

I can't wait till she turns Walt down for a B-Card.

This really is shaping up as Warren William's best role in years.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

Fascinating. Mr. Rickey has an extraordinary talent for obfuscation. "WHAT?" bellows Sally. "KAMPAHOOZIS! I THOUGHT WE GOT RIDDA HIM!"

 

[Fading Fast]

...

Soviet forces, in hot pursuit of the shattered remnants of a routed German army in the southern Caucasus, have captured an important mountain southeast of Nalchik, battlefront dispatches reported today. The official Soviet government newspaper Isvestia speculated today that this latest Red Army victory will raise the curtain on a big winter offensive that will "rock the Germans from one end of the front to the other." The communique further reported only light action around Stalingrad, where the Soviets are in "full command of the situation," as well as substantial Red Army advances on the Volkhov front, below Leningrad.
...

Imagine if all the men and resources the Germans expended in the East had been available to defend Germany's gains in Europe, the Mideast and Africa. Hitler invading the Soviet Union when he did is possibly the greatest unforced error of all time.

...

Four residents of Woodside, Queens face trial today on a charge of operating a bingo game because, in the words of Magistrate Peter M. Horn, "the legislature hasn't gumption enough to legalize bingo." The four suspects were arrested by Captain Louis Goldberg of the Elmhurst precinct, who reported that they were operating a bingo parlor at the National Hall in Woodside on November 5th, under the auspices of the Harry M. Sullivan Association. The defendants admitted running the games as a fundraiser for the Boy Scouts, the USO, and other patriotic organizations. "I have no personal objection to allowing bingo games where the proceeds are used entirely for charity or churches," declared Magistrate Horn. "But it remains for the legislature to legalize them."
...

This sounds like a judge that understands that his role is to rule on the law as written and not how he wishes it was written.

...
(Y'got me so confused we awrmos' ended up wit' a moosehead.")
...

...

(And "OH!" yells Sally. "YA LOOKIN F' INFIELDEHS? WELL T'EAHS A SWELL ONE ONNA PITTSBOIGS!")
...

Look, amazingly, we have a video clip of Joe at the exact moment that Sally said that:

...

("I didn't put in four years of nursing school just to be 'a doctor's wife,' you philandering fathead! SO THERE!")
...

Based on what we know now, Annie is in the wrong, but I could easily see future events making her seem prescient.

Was nursing school in '42 really four years - the same as medical school?

...

("SEE WHAT HAPPENS?" yells Butch. "SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T KEEP A FIRM HAND?")
...

Somewhere in-between arresting a few women for playing cards in a hotel room and being a mobster mayor, there has to be a better balance.

...

"Here, let me demonstrate. Sandy! Come here boy! NOW WHERE DID THAT DOG GET TO?"
...

"Stunt Dog! Where is that Stunt Dog! STUNT DOG!!!! And don't think I missed that 'America's Number One Hero Dog' garbage earlier. But right now, I need to find my STUNT DOG!!!!"

 

[Mr. Nantus]

"It's odd, but Burma warned me about 'premature exultation,' or I believe that's what she called it anyway," thinks a confused Terry to himself.




"Darn it, I told that copy boy to make sure "wash your old stockings" was underlined."




"...was found guilty yesterday of using a recess in that trial to swindle an elderly Williamsburg widow out of her life savings."

Now that takes nerve. Also, there is no way on earth this man couldn't make an honest living, and a good one, if he wanted to.




This strip is the comic world's equivalent of those very-low-budget off-off broadway theaters productions where everyone in the audience is one of the actor's friends and there's no scenery or costumes. Plus, the dialogue makes no sense (but sounds "artsy"), yet you still have to sit there for two stupid hours because you can't hurt your idiot friend's feelings.




Oh Sally.




Oh, he'll know if he's drinking Postum. In the recorded history of time, the only person on earth who ever drank that stuff when they didn't have to is my mother.




Yup, save the yellow-haired one (since that is what all young, pretty women in Asia do when there's trouble) and skedaddle the heck out of there.

About Postum, my father drank it when I was young and me too. I drank coffee at grandma's house with milk and sugar until I drank so much that I gat a bad headache. I was abut 6 or 7. Still a java hound.

 

[LizzieMaine]

(This gets interesting -- exactly why, and how, is the Curtis Publishing Company involved in this? That's not some shady publisher of race sheets and sex pulps. Curtis Publishing is the firm that puts out three of the most rock-ribbed respectable big-name magazines in all of 1942: the Saturday Evening Post -- unofficial house organ of the National Association of Manufacturers --the Ladies Home Journal, and the Country Gentleman. Exactly what is a blue-blooded. white-shoed Philadelphia concern like this, raking in many millions each year from the top advertisers in the United States, and otherwise having no connection whatever with the seamy world of small-time gambling, doing running a penny-ante race wire in Brooklyn? Has no one thought to ask that? J. Edgar, phone call for you.)

The cost of living in New York City is the second-highest in the United States, according to figures released today by the United States Department of Labor. Only Washington DC is a more expensive place to live on the basis of housing costs and other necessary living expenses. San Francisco reckons third on the list, Chicago is fourth, and Detroit is fifth. The least expensive city to live in in the United States is Mobile, Alabama. The statistics are based on living costs reckoned as of September 15th,

All retail sales of coffee in the United States will stop as of midnight tomorrow, and will remain frozen for one week to allow retailers sufficient time to stock their shelves in preparation for the start of coffee rationing on November 29th. Thereafter the greatest coffee-drinking nation in the world will be limited to one pound per person over the age of 15 every five weeks -- a ration which works out to no more than one cup per day per person. The reduction will mean a 38 percent reduction in sales to the 80 percent of adult Americans who drink coffee. Meanwhile, butter and cheese will follow coffee onto the ration list, with a top-ranking Government official reporting that the Federal Government is about to take full and strict control over the distribution of all milk products, with cheese and butter to be rationed, but not, as yet, fluid milk. A forerunner of that development is seen in the War Production Board order issued last night freezing for war use approximately 40 percent of the nation's present supply of cold-storage butter -- a quantity amounting to approximately 35,000,000 pounds.

(Clip and Save.)

Irate Western congressmen fighting a last minute battle to delay the nationwide implementation of gasoline rationing today demanded that Rubber Administrator William M. Jeffers be called on the carpet to explain his assertion that "people who should know better" are financing the anti-rationing campaign. Representative Philip A. Bennett (R-Missouri) further demanded that the Government offer rebates to Eastern motorists who paid $5 each for their automobile use tax stamps and are now restricted from enjoying the full use of the cars. He called rationing "a breach of faith" with those motorists, "just as it will be breaking faith with Western motorists if nationwide rationing becomes effective."

Meanwhile the OPA is said to be considering imposing strict ration cuts for dance halls, theatres, and other places of amusement, as well as additional "emergency reductions" for home owners as a means of coping with the heating oil shortage on the East Coast. Supplies for dwellings have already been cut by 25 percent, forcing a mass reduction in home temperatures to 65 degrees, and Government authorities are reported to be studying the possible health effects of mandating an even deeper reduction.

Thousands of Americans, ranging from professional men and white-collar workers to housewives and schoolchildren, will be put to work next summer on America's farms under a plan under consideration by War Manpower Director Paul V. McNutt, who called for the formation of units of "crop commandos" to labor in the fields. "The time is past," declared McNutt, "when we can depend on 'Okies' to save our crops. There will still be migratory labor, but not in anything like the previous volume." McNutt further warned that higher farm wages will have to be paid next year to halt the drain of farm workers into factories. Already, he noted, 400,000 workers have left the fields for higher wages in city defense plants.

The Eagle Editorialist declares that "little would have been accomplished" by sending the Zoot Suit killers to the electric chair, and notes that "the community in general bears a large responsibility for it, as it does in all crimes of this sort, which, in the final analysis grow as much from poor environment as from inherent faults." The EE notes that the two youths will be eligible for parole in 13 years, "and if the prison and probation machinery of the state are what they should be, they should not come out as hardened criminals at 29 and 32 respectively."

("The picking is poor and the crop is too lean...")

(Yes, it's true -- Chuck Dressen, little loud-mouthed Charley himself, did, in fact, play pro football in the NFL, for the Decatur Staleys -- forerunners of the Chicago Bears -- in 1919-20. By all means give him a job as a Football Dodger associate coach, a position in which he is guaranteed to have no contact with any form of professional gambling whatsoever. )

("Hey!" heys Joe. "Lookit -- Hilda got a letteh inna papeh!" "Huh!" huhs Sally. "I bet she can't get t'rough onna phone t'Rickey, t'ough." "Hilda don' need no phone," replies Joe. "All she gotta do is yell.")

Bette Davis takes offense at the talk now going around suggesting that she has gotten fat. She says during her recent bond-selling tour, she found a lot of citizens gaping at her in disbelief at the evidence that she has not, in fact, put on the poundage. "I don't know what they expected," Miss Davis responds, "but they did seem slightly startled to discover that I am a pretty normal human being. And not fat."

(Yes, by all means, go to her room alone at night. Even Moon Mullins wouldn't be that dumb.)

(Yesterday Scarlett wore a polka-dot suit. Today she is in a solid color suit. How many women's bathing suits does Uncle Creepy own? Never mind, I don't want to know.)

("Sure, it's a big city and we're on an expense account, and we could've gotten a double room, or even separate rooms, but, really, isn't this cozy?")

(BARE CITY VETERINARY RACKET -- Police Seek Disgraced Dog Doc -- Janitor Turns State's Evidence -- NATIONWIDE SEARCH FOR AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG!)

(It's nice to see Lee Tracy finding work again.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"Mrs. Rosoff fears her husband has returned to Mexico City to open a nightclub with the former King Carol of Romania." I hate when that happens.

"NOW SHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"But we aren't even paratroopers!" "Oh, you will be when you hit the ground."

"Yep, brave and courageous men. Like Punjab. And the Asp. And that Chuck guy. They carried that gibbering bald baby thru the jungle until....well, it's no use to think of it now."

Point of Order -- if this gas causes severe skin blistering, don't you need a whole protective suit?

"Yep, I'm grinding up these old pencils for breakfast. Who needs coffee?"

Just how old is this kid, anyway? He'll be in the Army by summer.

"Quiet you guys. Message coming in from Prune Face!"

"Oh come on Moon."

Meanwhile, the "overzealous porter" overheard that insane laughter and is waiting outside to conk you with a frying pan.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Oh, and...

All right then, *let's* read between the lines. Name two prominent pitchers on the 1942 Dodgers who played erratically all thru the season, were of little help in the pennant drive, and whose names have been conspicuously absent from all lists of Dodgers who "did not turn a card all season." Kirby Higbe and Hugh Casey, just how much did Leo -- er, that is to say, Dressen -- take you for? Hmm?

 

[Fading Fast]

(This gets interesting -- exactly why, and how, is the Curtis Publishing Company involved in this? That's not some shady publisher of race sheets and sex pulps. Curtis Publishing is the firm that puts out three of the most rock-ribbed respectable big-name magazines in all of 1942: the Saturday Evening Post -- unofficial house organ of the National Association of Manufacturers --the Ladies Home Journal, and the Country Gentleman. Exactly what is a blue-blooded. white-shoed Philadelphia concern like this, raking in many millions each year from the top advertisers in the United States, and otherwise having no connection whatever with the seamy world of small-time gambling, doing running a penny-ante race wire in Brooklyn? Has no one thought to ask that? J. Edgar, phone call for you.)
...

Lizzie, I hear ya, is there any chance it's not the same company despite having the same name?

"New York Girl voted 'Sweetheart of Iceland.'" I've read the brief article three times and still don't know what's going on. The Reykjavik dateline is really confusing.

...

All retail sales of coffee in the United States will stop as of midnight tomorrow, and will remain frozen for one week to allow retailers sufficient time to stock their shelves in preparation for the start of coffee rationing on November 29th. Thereafter the greatest coffee-drinking nation in the world will be limited to one pound per person over the age of 15 every five weeks -- a ration which works out to no more than one cup per day per person. The reduction will mean a 38 percent reduction in sales to the 80 percent of adult Americans who drink coffee. Meanwhile, butter and cheese will follow coffee onto the ration list, with a top-ranking Government official reporting that the Federal Government is about to take full and strict control over the distribution of all milk products, with cheese and butter to be rationed, but not, as yet, fluid milk. A forerunner of that development is seen in the War Production Board order issued last night freezing for war use approximately 40 percent of the nation's present supply of cold-storage butter -- a quantity amounting to approximately 35,000,000 pounds.

...

Considering that milk isn't imported and is pretty regional, I'm not sure why it's being rationed. Sure, the army (I'm guessing) is ordering massive amounts of condensed milk, but the enlisted men drinking it in the army aren't drinking it in their hometowns anymore, so why is there a shortage? The supply chains have changed, but the supply and demand should still be about the same.

...

The Eagle Editorialist declares that "little would have been accomplished" by sending the Zoot Suit killers to the electric chair, and notes that "the community in general bears a large responsibility for it, as it does in all crimes of this sort, which, in the final analysis grow as much from poor environment as from inherent faults." The EE notes that the two youths will be eligible for parole in 13 years, "and if the prison and probation machinery of the state are what they should be, they should not come out as hardened criminals at 29 and 32 respectively."
...

The Eagle Editorialist should take the boys into its home in 1955 and help them make a new start, a new start the school teacher, his wife and children will never get.

...

Bette Davis takes offense at the talk now going around suggesting that she has gotten fat. She says during her recent bond-selling tour, she found a lot of citizens gaping at her in disbelief at the evidence that she has not, in fact, put on the poundage. "I don't know what they expected," Miss Davis responds, "but they did seem slightly startled to discover that I am a pretty normal human being. And not fat."
...

From her movies, she didn't get "stout" (no offense Fitz) until the mid-50s (see "The Catered Affair"), but even then, "fat," would be an exaggeration. She did put on a few pounds, as most people, do each decade as she was very slim in the 1930s.

Davis: "That's me on the left in 1932, pretty slim looking, no? Notice my hips are narrow than Blondell's"
Blondell: " Screw you, Davis."

...

(Yesterday Scarlett wore a polka-dot suit. Today she is in a solid color suit. How many women's bathing suits does Uncle Creepy own? Never mind, I don't want to know.)
...

We'd all be lucky if his fetishes stopped at bathing suits, but there is no chance of that. Scarlett's rockin' a pretty impressive bathing suit body. A look at the soft porn of comicstrips in the 1940s (and, I'm guessing, the '30s and '50s, too) would make for a pretty neat mass-market history book today.

And in the Daily News...

"Mrs. Rosoff fears her husband has returned to Mexico City to open a nightclub with the former King Carol of Romania." I hate when that happens.
...

The Eagle and the Daily News have a different take on how long the Zoot Suit boys will be in jail.

Despite her devotion, Ms. Bennett's marriage will end in 1946.

...

"But we aren't even paratroopers!" "Oh, you will be when you hit the ground."
...

Wouldn't it be easier to just send a reconnaissance flight over periodically and bomb it again if necessary versus occupying the area as what do you get out of an occupation other than tying up men and resources?

...

Just how old is this kid, anyway? He'll be in the Army by summer.
...

Hooda thunk of the two couples, it would be Andy and Min who are annoyed with their new neighbor and not the other way around?

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Somewhere in North Africa, Pvt. Solomon J. Pincus sighs and, as he dissolves the dry brown powder in his canteen cup, wishes he had a good cup of coffee.)

Reports tonight from the Russian front stated that the Red Army holds the initiative along virtually the entire line, except for minor attacks in the Stalingrad area, and indicated that the German offensive in the Caucasus may have stalled for the winter. Despite German claims that Nazi troops are engaged in "active defense" at no less than five points along the front, the Soviet reports asserts that those attacks are "rapidly ebbing," with even the latest German strike on Stalingrad appearing to "peter out" after 10 days of fighting limited to a narrow industrial quarter.

The Royal Air Force blasted the industrial city of Turin, seat of Italian arsenals, bomber factories, and munitions plants, with the heaviest bombing raids yet seen against Italy in the war. Between 200 and 300 four-engined bombers are understood to have participated in the latest raids, the intensity of which left the city in a mass of flames.

The nation's school buses will face strict new regulations if they are to keep their rations of gasoline and tires in 1943. A new set of rules promulgated by Defense Transportation Director Joseph B. Eastman state that as of February 1st, no school bus may transport any student, teacher, or school employee living less than two miles from their school, or less than a mile and a half from the connection point to a school bus trunk route. All use of buses for transportation of athletic teams, or for class trips or other extracurricular activities is banned as of that same date. Bus stops must be spaced at least one eighth of a mile, but preferably one-quarter of a mile apart. Exceptions may be made for pupils who are physically handicapped, or would otherwise be subjected to extreme danger or personal hardship if they were required to walk to school.

The "demi-tasse" idea is expected to catch on at Brooklyn's hotels and fine restaurants in the face of the coffee shortage, with swank dining rooms and eateries turning to dainty half-cups prepared strong, in the Italian manner. This type of beverage requires no more coffee than the regular style -- the difference is that the beans are roasted longer to produce a stronger flavor. French-style coffee made thru a special percolator and mixed with boiling milk and cream is also being offered at some restaurants.

("We got a berleh room,' sighs Sally, "anna coal bin nex' ta it. If we moved t' Flatbush I bet we'd have a betteh basemen'." "Take down all hangin's from t' wawls," reads Joe, his glance falling on a clipping from the Daily News tacked to the wall behind the stove, showing a certain former Dodger second baseman leaping to spear a line drive in 1938. "At'sa good idea." "What?" "Nut'n.")

Magistrate Charles Solomon lashed out yesterday at salvage officials over the matter of the towering mounds of household scrap which have remained at collection points across the borough since the summer salvage campaigns. Pointing out that scrap metal sold to Japan before the war somehow found its way from New York to Tokio, Magistrate Solomon demanded to know why efforts to move the present scrap heaps from the city to the steel mills have not been completed. Residents are asking the same question, he noted, pointing out that the mountains of junk are a dangerous menace to public safety where children are climbing and playing every day, and the parents of those children deserve an answer. "The people don't give a damn what the merits of the official arguments may be," declared the Magistrate. "They want the scrap removed." He further observed that people have been seen pulling items off the scrap piles for themselves, despite having contributed such items to the salvage campaign last summer.

The annual Christmas Seal campaign sponsored by the National Tuberculosis Association begins tomorrow at Brooklyn post offices, banks, and stores, with Postmaster Frank Quayle named borough chairman. Brooklyn's quota in the drive is $100,000, with the first sheet of Christmas Seals purchased from Mr. Quayle yesterday by radio, stage, adn screen songstress Carol Bruce. More than 2,000,000 American lives have been saved since 1907 by the annual Christmas Seal campaign, thru funding for health camps and sanitariums for tuberculosis patients, as well as educational campaigns to help stop the spread of this deadly disease.

(Sigh....)

Old Timer Keran Guilfoyle recalls the "Mudgutter Bands" of yore, the traditional German brass marching units that enlivened street parties with "fascinating waltzes and catchy humorous ballads." And he also recalls how young boys used to enjoy standing in front of these bands ostentatiously sucking on lemons -- which act would cause a copious flow of saliva in the mouths of the musicians, thus spoiling their embouchures and greatly impeding their musical progress.

The style goal for women who smoke cigarettes? To be as sloppy in their smoking as the men. That's according to local authority on all possible topics John J. Snyder of 55 Snyder Avenue whose recent advice to the Sanitation Department that snow should be heaped in the middle of the streets so that it would melt and flow naturally into the drains is likely to be disregarded this winter. Mr. Snyder's new crusade is the reform female smoking habits, which, he says, presently show "a studied indifference which is nevertheless painfully obvious." He urges women smokers to instead follow the example of men and casually flick their ashes on the floor, and to converse casually as they smoke rather than "keeping up a constant chatter." The butt, he insists, should be held not in a studied and contrived manner, but casually, between the tips of the middle and ring fingers, with the burning end extending outward, and should be smoked down until the burning end just approaches the fingers.

In Lake Placid, "a Negro who sung at the funeral of John Brown" has died at the age of 102. Lyman Epps sang "Blow Ye The Trumpets" at burial services for the slain abolitionist in 1859, and until age prevented him from doing so, regularly attended the annual memorial service at Brown's gravesite at Harper's Ferry, Virigina.

(Dahlgren? Hmph. He couldn't replace Lou Gehrig, so what makes you think he could replace Camilli???)

The unsinkable Captain Eddie Rickenbacker makes the front page of Trend this week, with the notation that the War Department has still not seen fit to disclose the real story of what happened during his recent adventure. The words of Mayor LaGuardia seem apt -- "It seems a merciful God will not apply the statute of limitations to Eddie Rickenbacker."

("Bean Face?")

(Bergen drives a Stanley Steamer? With a wood-burning boiler? Hey, has anyone seen Charlie McCarthy lately?)

(Scarlet vs. Race Prejudice, uh, sort of.)

("Looking Daggers" FOR REAL)

(Dennie wouldn't have a chance in Annie's battalion. And say folks, if you pass a candy store today don't forget to bet 688 and 683!)

(Yep, that's exactly what happened to my 6X-great grandmother on September 22, 1692.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Coming Events Cast Their Shadows Before...

Turned-back thermostats, urban chicken coops, upcycled clothes -- it's like 1942 will never end.

Prune Face used to have a hell of an act in the circus.

THERE! *THAT* FOR YOUR CONDESCENDING COLONIALIST VIEWS!

If I was Mrs. Booblebaum I'd have moved away years ago.

"So, Sergeant -- what unit were you with?"

WHAT SAPS WE WERE! Yeah, you could say that.

1933 Trixie says to 1942 Judy "PRETTY GOOD KID, BUT LET ME SHOW YA HOW *I* USED TO DO IT!"

Well, Goof, maybe you'll make 4-F after all.

"Yes sir. And it is also said in my country, 'it takes but one hand to hold the blade that cuts a throat.' Think it over."

 

[LizzieMaine]

And a Sunday News bonus bcause the public demanded it --

And for some more wholesome reading for the kiddies...

Disney...Santa Claus...Fairy Tales....Smilin' Jack??? HEY KIDS! COMICS!

 

[Fading Fast]

(Somewhere in North Africa, Pvt. Solomon J. Pincus sighs and, as he dissolves the dry brown powder in his canteen cup, wishes he had a good cup of coffee.)
...

It's hard to believe it's good politics to be arresting the men and women running charity bingo games, but you gotta give Butch credit, he often does what he believes he should do, come what may.

I know it's not the same paving scandal - although, big picture, it's the same political corruption - but what really burns you up about this story is that well connected and powerful Edward J. Flynn got away with stealing the stone and work for, once again, his antique Belgian courtyard. It was blatant corruption and a blatant example of the powerful getting away with things you and I would never get away with.

...

The nation's school buses will face strict new regulations if they are to keep their rations of gasoline and tires in 1943. A new set of rules promulgated by Defense Transportation Director Joseph B. Eastman state that as of February 1st, no school bus may transport any student, teacher, or school employee living less than two miles from their school, or less than a mile and a half from the connection point to a school bus trunk route. All use of buses for transportation of athletic teams, or for class trips or other extracurricular activities is banned as of that same date. Bus stops must be spaced at least one eighth of a mile, but preferably one-quarter of a mile apart. Exceptions may be made for pupils who are physically handicapped, or would otherwise be subjected to extreme danger or personal hardship if they were required to walk to school.
...

Seems like high school sports just ended for the duration. Nice to see some thought was given for handicapped students.

...

Magistrate Charles Solomon lashed out yesterday at salvage officials over the matter of the towering mounds of household scrap which have remained at collection points across the borough since the summer salvage campaigns. Pointing out that scrap metal sold to Japan before the war somehow found its way from New York to Tokio, Magistrate Solomon demanded to know why efforts to move the present scrap heaps from the city to the steel mills have not been completed. Residents are asking the same question, he noted, pointing out that the mountains of junk are a dangerous menace to public safety where children are climbing and playing every day, and the parents of those children deserve an answer. "The people don't give a damn what the merits of the official arguments may be," declared the Magistrate. "They want the scrap removed." He further observed that people have been seen pulling items off the scrap piles for themselves, despite having contributed such items to the salvage campaign last summer.
...

This is exactly how governments breeds cynical citizens. First the gov't has an important drive to collect scrap where they ask everyone to pitch in for this urgent war need and, then, the collected scrap just sits around. Next time the "urgent" request comes, the gov't can't complain if some people roll their eyes.

...

The style goal for women who smoke cigarettes? To be as sloppy in their smoking as the men. That's according to local authority on all possible topics John J. Snyder of 55 Snyder Avenue whose recent advice to the Sanitation Department that snow should be heaped in the middle of the streets so that it would melt and flow naturally into the drains is likely to be disregarded this winter. Mr. Snyder's new crusade is the reform female smoking habits, which, he says, presently show "a studied indifference which is nevertheless painfully obvious." He urges women smokers to instead follow the example of men and casually flick their ashes on the floor, and to converse casually as they smoke rather than "keeping up a constant chatter." The butt, he insists, should be held not in a studied and contrived manner, but casually, between the tips of the middle and ring fingers, with the burning end extending outward, and should be smoked down until the burning end just approaches the fingers.
...

This man is an idiot.

...

Turned-back thermostats, urban chicken coops, upcycled clothes -- it's like 1942 will never end.
...

My father ran our house on war-time heating oil restrictions all through the years I was growing up in the '60s-'70s. And woe be the person who left a light on when they left a room.

...


If I was Mrs. Booblebaum I'd have moved away years ago...

The only thing more amazing than that it was acceptable to smoke cigarettes inside was that it was acceptable to smoke cigars inside. And while it started changing in the 1970s, indoor cigarette and cigar smoking was still going on somewhat into the 1990s - that's not ancient history.

They can legalize pot all they want as far as I'm concerned, just don't start smoking that stuff inside as it's enough that you can practically get high on second-hand pot smoke walking down the streets of Manhattan today - in the morning no less. Is the expression you use, "I ask you?" Lizzie?

...


WHAT SAPS WE WERE! Yeah, you could say that.
...

I guess there was no way for Jack to save the sub and complete his mission without also saving Cindy.

And a Sunday News bonus bcause the public demanded it --

And for some more wholesome reading for the kiddies...
...

That was one expensive grease spot, I hope it was worth it.

You almost knew a gratuitous charge of syphilis was coming - why not?

Once again, this would never work as fiction as we'd just laugh at it for being too ridiculous to be true.