The Dumbest Comment I Ever Heard

[jamespowers]

So I'm walking my dog in the empty field next to my house, wearing a fedora, khaki trousers, and a linen A-2 style jacket. A kid of about 18 and his girlfriend (pushing a baby carriage) were walking by and he says to her, "Look, Steve Irwin!" [huh] Did Steve ever wear anything on his head at all, besides an occasional baseball cap? I didn't even have shorts on! lol The closest thing I had that looked like Steve's was my dog, who is also a blue heeler, but looks nothing like Sui.

"Crickey! Here we have an idiot and his girlfriend who have no understanding of contraception. Stand back! They look dangerous."

Regards,

J

 

[BegintheBeguine]

Really!??!

Then again, most everyone is tall to me considering I stand at a towering 5'6".

You may want to re-measure your yardstick. When we met I was wearing biker boots with 2" soles and you are much taller than I am at 5'3". I just verified my height. Hmmm.

 

[hargist]

You may want to re-measure your yardstick. When we met I was wearing biker boots with 2" soles and you are much taller than I am at 5'3". I just verified my height. Hmmm.

Nope, I'm 5'6". I must have seemed taller because of my commanding presence.

 

[mingoslim]

OK . . . I HAVE THE ULTIMATE COMMENT

It was on eBay . . . a hat was listed that looked interesting, but no size was given. So I wrote to the seller and asked if they could provide the measure of the inside circumference, as a means of determining size.

This is the e-mail I received in reply. No names or IDs are given to protect the innocent.

"I am not sure how the measure circumference on an oval. Please let me know and I will measure for you."

 

[Dr Doran]

I cannot wear a black bowler derby without someone saying "ALEX! CLOCKWORK ORANGE!"
I cannot have my hair in a 30s style without someone saying "HITLER! WHAT'S UP!"
At school there is a confused ideology amongst the other graduate students regarding my attire. The males either think it's fun or else are jealous (the insecure ones). The females either think I'm hyperconservative (I'm not) or else like it. I get comments like "Not the hat, man," from the dorkier younger males.
When I wear a double-breasted suit, I do get compliments regularly from one source: black people. Black men in their 50s always say "Nice suit, man." I guess they still appreciate the style. Why? Maybe because around here, the only people who dress up for Church on Sunday are the blacks.
I enjoy irritating people with my attire. This stems from having been a punk in the 1980s.
Even f-loungists (a few) got upset over the prospect of my getting a monocle. My wife thinks it's "fruity" but charming because it's so odd and because I seemed to care so much. I have not worn it out of the house yet. Call me a british twit or the planter's peanut man. Or the guy from Monopoly. Maybe that last will be my Halloween costume: I just need a cigarette holder and a top hat.
The absolute worst was when I had a mohawk. People would ask me how I kept it erect. I told them disgusting answers. That was mean of me. But I was 16.

 

[jamespowers]

It was on eBay . . . a hat was listed that looked interesting, but no size was given. So I wrote to the seller and asked if they could provide the measure of the inside circumference, as a means of determining size.

This is the e-mail I received in reply. No names or IDs are given to protect the innocent.

"I am not sure how the measure circumference on an oval. Please let me know and I will measure for you."

Obviously a public school graduate.

 

[jamespowers]

I cannot wear a black bowler derby without someone saying "ALEX! CLOCKWORK ORANGE!"
I cannot have my hair in a 30s style without someone saying "HITLER! WHAT'S UP!"
At school there is a confused ideology amongst the other graduate students regarding my attire. The males either think it's fun or else are jealous (the insecure ones). The females either think I'm hyperconservative (I'm not) or else like it. I get comments like "Not the hat, man," from the dorkier younger males.
When I wear a double-breasted suit, I do get compliments regularly from one source: black people. Black men in their 50s always say "Nice suit, man." I guess they still appreciate the style. Why? Maybe because around here, the only people who dress up for Church on Sunday are the blacks.
I enjoy irritating people with my attire. This stems from having been a punk in the 1980s.
Even f-loungists (a few) got upset over the prospect of my getting a monocle. My wife thinks it's "fruity" but charming because it's so odd and because I seemed to care so much. I have not worn it out of the house yet. Call me a british twit or the planter's peanut man. Or the guy from Monopoly. Maybe that last will be my Halloween costume: I just need a cigarette holder and a top hat.
The absolute worst was when I had a mohawk. People would ask me how I kept it erect. I told them disgusting answers. That was mean of me. But I was 16.

Geez, I don't know where to start here.
The bowler comment makes sense considering where you are. My answer would be something like: "Smoke dope much?"
I don't understand the Hitler one but geez, did they know him---I mean personally? :eusa_doh:
Not the hat man?! Answer: "Move away from the bong man its obvious its gotten to your brain and you can't keep your mouth shut."
The monocle would be fine as far as I am concerned. Its just both of my eyes need glases so I couldn't get away with it.

Regards,

J

 

[Dr Doran]

The bowler comment makes sense considering where you are. My answer would be something like: "Smoke dope much?" J

Good point! I sometimes do not realize where I live and its storied hippie history. The pot and the sun and the revolution that never happened no doubt fry their brains.

 

[jamespowers]

Good point! I sometimes do not realize where I live and its storied hippie history. The pot and the sun and the revolution that never happened no doubt fry their brains.

A man who definitely realizes where he is.

Regards,

J

 

[Dr Doran]

A man who definitely realizes where he is.

Regards,

J

Heh heh. May I assume Powers is your favorite Irish whiskey?

 

[jamespowers]

Heh heh. May I assume Powers is your favorite Irish whiskey?

It is unfortunate that there are only really three actual distilleries in Ireland. Their economic difficulties, mergers and acquisitions have made it tough to make whiskey there. Midleton, Bushmills and Cooley are the only three left. Cooley is the only really Irish owned distillery. Powers isn't what is used to be a a result. It really isn't a single malt. From what I recall, it is blended with sweet single grain whiskey. 70% pot still and 30% grain whiskey. It is the best selling irish whiskey in Ireland but it is owned by Pernod-Ricard (Midleton). Pretty ironic eh?
Powers is ok as a blend but I prefer the single malt Bushmills. Its a native no matter who owns it now. Look for the Bushmills 25 year Millennium malt if you can find it. Great but only a limited number were made and sucked up quickly. Too much money for me now. [huh] :eusa_doh: For us mortals the 16 year old matured in Sherry casks is fine. The ten year old is aged in Bourbon casks and picks up too much of the charred charcoal flavor for me. [huh]

Regards,

J

 

[Dr Doran]

It is unfortunate that there are only really three actual distilleries in Ireland. Their economic difficulties, mergers and acquisitions have made it tough to make whiskey there. Midleton, Bushmills and Cooley are the only three left. Cooley is the only really Irish owned distillery. Powers isn't what is used to be a a result. It really isn't a single malt. From what I recall, it is blended with sweet single grain whiskey. 70% pot still and 30% grain whiskey. It is the best selling irish whiskey in Ireland but it is owned by Pernod-Ricard (Midleton). Pretty ironic eh?
Powers is ok as a blend but I prefer the single malt Bushmills. Its a native no matter who owns it now. Look for the Bushmills 25 year Millennium malt if you can find it. Great but only a limited number were made and sucked up quickly. Too much money for me now. [huh] :eusa_doh: For us mortals the 16 year old matured in Sherry casks is fine. The ten year old is aged in Bourbon casks and picks up too much of the charred charcoal flavor for me. [huh]

Regards,

J

I'm more of a Scotch guy, but I'm not drinking currently. When I did drink Irish I drank a lot of Bushmills, Jamesons, and Powers. I did hear that Bushmills "discriminated against Catholics" and as that is my background (atheist now) I was reluctant to drink their offerings after hearing that. My local Irish pub (well, one of them -- there are many here) has deluxe Irish whiskies, as complex as Scotch but not woody and considerably lighter.

 

[jamespowers]

I'm more of a Scotch guy, but I'm not drinking currently. When I did drink Irish I drank a lot of Bushmills, Jamesons, and Powers. I did hear that Bushmills "discriminated against Catholics" and as that is my background (atheist now) I was reluctant to drink their offerings after hearing that. My local Irish pub (well, one of them -- there are many here) has deluxe Irish whiskies, as complex as Scotch but not woody and considerably lighter.

I think the difference between Scotch and Irish Whiskey---in my experience has been the peaty taste in the Scotch. Scotch is usually produced with peat while Irish whiskey rarely if ever uses peat. They both tend to use either American oak or spanish sherry casks/barrels. It does make a difference in taste.
Jameson is one I haven't heard in a while. It is a blend like Powers. That reminds me of one not mentioned--Tulamoore Dew. Not too bad an Irish whiskey for the price.
I never heard about the Catholic thing. [huh]
Anyone ever drink Potcheen?

Regards,

J

 

[Dr Doran]

Oh, there's a huge difference allright. Scotch is more butterscotchy, more challenging. When I was drinking, my favorite was Oban. After lots of strong Scotches, Irish whiskey will always taste watery.

 

[jamespowers]

Oh, there's a huge difference allright. Scotch is more butterscotchy, more challenging. When I was drinking, my favorite was Oban. After lots of strong Scotches, Irish whiskey will always taste watery.

Oban is good. Talisker, Glenmorangie, Macallan and several others fit the bill too. :cheers1:

Regards,

J

 

[Dinerman]

I was wearing my stetson flagship today.

The vice principal of the school pulled me aside and asked me in the big intimidating "vice principal voice"
"kid, what's your name?"
I told him
he then asked, "what grade are you in?"
I said I was a junior. At this point, I began to think I was in trouble for something.

he then cracked a smile and said, "that's a really great hat you've got there, where'd you get it?"

The guy scared the living daylights out of me, only to compliment my hat. I didn't know what to say, other than mumbling thanks and walking away.

 

[jamespowers]

I was wearing my stetson flagship today.

The vice principal of the school pulled me aside and asked me in the big intimidating "vice principal voice"
"kid, what's your name?"
I told him
he then asked, "what grade are you in?"
I said I was a junior. At this point, I began to think I was in trouble for something.

he then cracked a smile and said, "that's a really great hat you've got there, where'd you get it?"

The guy scared the living daylights out of me, only to compliment my hat. I didn't know what to say, other than mumbling thanks and walking away.

The flagship is a great hat. Maybe he thought you were someone who was too old to be in school? [huh] The hat made you look to grown up and sophisticated for the school.

Regards,

J

 

[luvthatlulu]

Doran, calm down...

I cannot wear a black bowler derby without someone saying "ALEX! CLOCKWORK ORANGE!"
I cannot have my hair in a 30s style without someone saying "HITLER! WHAT'S UP!"
At school there is a confused ideology amongst the other graduate students regarding my attire. The males either think it's fun or else are jealous (the insecure ones). The females either think I'm hyperconservative (I'm not) or else like it. I get comments like "Not the hat, man," from the dorkier younger males.
When I wear a double-breasted suit, I do get compliments regularly from one source: black people. Black men in their 50s always say "Nice suit, man." I guess they still appreciate the style. Why? Maybe because around here, the only people who dress up for Church on Sunday are the blacks.
I enjoy irritating people with my attire. This stems from having been a punk in the 1980s.
Even f-loungists (a few) got upset over the prospect of my getting a monocle. My wife thinks it's "fruity" but charming because it's so odd and because I seemed to care so much. I have not worn it out of the house yet. Call me a british twit or the planter's peanut man. Or the guy from Monopoly. Maybe that last will be my Halloween costume: I just need a cigarette holder and a top hat.
The absolute worst was when I had a mohawk. People would ask me how I kept it erect. I told them disgusting answers. That was mean of me. But I was 16.

To set the record straight (and since you are still obviously torn up about it), I should point out that in your original post you asked for opinions and advice about the prospect of buying and wearing a monocle and then obviously got upset when some of us responded not in agreement with your plans. Personally, I don't think any of us really care what you wear. You could just as easily have said you were considering wearing a banana skirt ala Josephine Baker and I am sure someone from the Fedora Lounge would have responded "how clever you are" or "be sure to post some pictures", etc. Some might even give you detailed advice on how to make one. It was just opinion--and that's what we thought you wanted.

 

[Dr Doran]

Never got upset! Where did you get that? I was amused. Misreading me? A bit insistent here.

 

[chucklehead]

"we make a lot of money, but we spend a lot of money" -Patrick Ewing