The Dumbest Comment I Ever Heard

[Miss Crisplock]

"What areyou?"

Why, I'm a Gentleman, ma'am.

 

[Mojave Jack]

****************
You happen to be a Well Styled Outdoorsman, I'd say just tell her you are an outdoorsman.

Why, thank you, John! A splendid response!

"What are you?"

Why, I'm a Gentleman, ma'am.

Equally effective, thanks! Perhaps, "I'm an outdoorsy gentleman, ma'am!"

 

[LadyDeWinter]

James, I needed you about two days ago!

So I'm in the grocery store, wearing my usual: Aubra Flinders and bush jacket. Other than that I had on a muted plaid flannel shirt, cargo pants, and chukka boots. I'm feeling pretty good as I leave because the lady behind me in line said, "I think you look really sharp in your hat."

So I step out of the store and another lady says, "I like your outfit!" "Thanks!" I replied (thinking "outfit"?!). Then she says, "What are you?"

"What am I?" accompanied by a blank stare. What the heck does that mean? "Are you the 'Crocodile Hunter'? Or an elephant hunter?"

I didn't know what to say. Was that an insult? Was she just trying to be conversational? I just sort of stammered a reply like "I'm just a guy," and wandered off with my bell peppers and onions.

Hello MojaveJack,

Maybe English was not her mother language and she didn't know what she said. I think she just wanted to be conversational, some people say or do the strangest things to get in contact with someone they are interesed in.

 

[BigSleep]

Hello MojaveJack,

...some people say or do the strangest things to get in contact with someone they are interesed in.

I agree. Some people wish to talk with you but are not good at opening a conversation with a stranger.

I once had a lady come out of the blue with "Why do you wear that hat?" After speaking with her for a few minutes it was obvious she just wanted to open a conversation. I now see and speak with her on the street in my neighborhood all the time.

Where I'm from, that blunt of a question is not a good opener. But I dont live where I'm from anymore so I rolled with it and it turned out swell.

 

[melankomas]

James, I needed you about two days ago!

So I'm in the grocery store, wearing my usual: Aubra Flinders and bush jacket. Other than that I had on a muted plaid flannel shirt, cargo pants, and chukka boots. I'm feeling pretty good as I leave because the lady behind me in line said, "I think you look really sharp in your hat."

So I step out of the store and another lady says, "I like your outfit!" "Thanks!" I replied (thinking "outfit"?!). Then she says, "What are you?"

"What am I?" accompanied by a blank stare. What the heck does that mean? "Are you the 'Crocodile Hunter'? Or an elephant hunter?"

I didn't know what to say. Was that an insult? Was she just trying to be conversational? I just sort of stammered a reply like "I'm just a guy," and wandered off with my bell peppers and onions.

this is why one should always have a collection of Default Parts of Speech. i also recommend a Default Number, as a subcategory for Default Noun.

what are you?

forty-two.

 

[Jazzman64]

not the dumbest but Kind of embarrassing

The other day I'm heading home on a crowded train just sitting there wearing my suit, black overcoat and a gray fedora (pretty conservative and inconspicuous I thought given that it's winter here in chicago) and the conductor practically yells across the car; "Hey buddy, you need to get a new hat. You look just like Dick Tracy."

After turning a few shades of red I offered to trade him for his beat-up conductors cap, but he wasn't buying. Oh well.

JPD

 

[gpwpat]

funny, I have never gotten any negative comments on my fedora. Mostly I get nice hat, or I like it. one guy stopped me on the street to find out where he could get one.

However when wearing my palm with a hawaiian shirt and khakis I was told I looked like a rich stuck up yuppy on vacation. This one got to me a bit.

not hat related. but one time I was scuba diving at a lake. my buddy and I had dressed down and walking into the water. The drunk college kids called us scuba steve and thought it was the funniest thing ever. Listen dumba$$ every one that dives is not named steve because of the adam sandler movie.

 

[jamespowers]

The other day I'm heading home on a crowded train just sitting there wearing my suit, black overcoat and a gray fedora (pretty conservative and inconspicuous I thought given that it's winter here in chicago) and the conductor practically yells across the car; "Hey buddy, you need to get a new hat. You look just like Dick Tracy."

After turning a few shades of red I offered to trade him for his beat-up conductors cap, but he wasn't buying. Oh well.

JPD

Responses:

And you sir look like you need firing.
Aren't you supposed to be ringing a bell or something?
Shouldn't you be watching where you are going?
Hey, there you are. Your village called. They say they are short an idiot and want you back.
If I am Dick Tracy, does that make you Pruneface?lol

Regards to all,

J

 

[jamespowers]

However when wearing my palm with a hawaiian shirt and khakis I was told I looked like a rich stuck up yuppy on vacation. This one got to me a bit.

Response:
(In Mr. Howell's voice)Why thank you lad. Now be a good cabana boy and run off and get me my drink.

Regards,

J

 

[Mike in Seattle]

I would have said: "No. I am an idiot hunter. I'll be sporting and give you a five minute head start."

Regards,

J

lol lol lol Absolutely brilliant! lol lol lol

 

[The Outlaw Kyle]

I think that this topic is fascinating. I have a theory that wearing fedoras, or other than baseball hats, in public is a kind of breaching experiment. When people are presented with this thing which they don't understand, or something that doesn't fit into their standard world view, things kinda go all hay-wire with them. Of course only a small percentage of people 1. Notice, 2. Make any kind of outward response. If I saw someone on a train wearing a 1st century Roman Helmet on his head, I would notice but I wouldn't say anything about it. Some people however would laugh, some would ask the guy "What are you nuts", and some people might beat the tar out of him. It's that slight skewing of the norm that removes the normal rules. Maybe people figure "Well, this guy is breaking the rules of wearing modern head wear, I guess I don't have to follow social norms either".

Love the stories from everyone.

 

[Doh!]

If you think these are good stories, you should read some of the ones over at "The Roman Helmet Lounge."

(Thanks for the Breaching link. That is also a good read.)

 

[BegintheBeguine]

^lol lol lol
I've been dressing vintage forever. Since my mom dressed me. 20 years ago I got "Laverne and Shirley" at the David Bowie concert in Syracuse. I had bangs so I guess I was Shirley. lol

 

[Gumby]

Great come-backs!

I especially like the one of doing a Thurston Howell III imitation...I'm still grinning.... :eusa_clap


"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent vice of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. "
-Winston Churchill

 

[Mojave Jack]

I think that this topic is fascinating. I have a theory that wearing fedoras, or other than baseball hats, in public is a kind of breaching experiment. When people are presented with this thing which they don't understand, or something that doesn't fit into their standard world view, things kinda go all hay-wire with them. Of course only a small percentage of people 1. Notice, 2. Make any kind of outward response. If I saw someone on a train wearing a 1st century Roman Helmet on his head, I would notice but I wouldn't say anything about it. Some people however would laugh, some would ask the guy "What are you nuts", and some people might beat the tar out of him. It's that slight skewing of the norm that removes the normal rules. Maybe people figure "Well, this guy is breaking the rules of wearing modern head wear, I guess I don't have to follow social norms either".

Love the stories from everyone.

A fascinating read on the breaching experiments, thanks! Not too long ago they did a repeat of the Milgram Experiment to see if people were more or less likely to go as far as the original research subjects. They concluded that people today are almost exactly as likely to shock a person with a potentially lethal does of electricity as the subjects were in 1961. Here's a link to the ABC story.

 

[J. M. Stovall]

Well, I had my first negative comment about my headgear. Over the weekend I went over to the local doughnut shop to pick up a special breakfast for the family. I've worn a fedora there before (since I pretty much wear them all the time), and as I was leaving the young fellow, probably early 20's, and his female companion were coming up the sidewalk and I heard him say something. He wasn't talking very loudly, I actually thought he was talking to her. It was playing over in my mind and I realized what he said as I was driving away, "Nice hat @$$hole". It actually cracked me up when it hit me, I guess he was just trying to impress his girl?lol

 

[jamespowers]

Well, I had my first negative comment about my headgear. Over the weekend I went over to the local doughnut shop to pick up a special breakfast for the family. I've worn a fedora there before (since I pretty much wear them all the time), and as I was leaving the young fellow, probably early 20's, and his female companion were coming up the sidewalk and I heard him say something. He wasn't talking very loudly, I actually thought he was talking to her. It was playing over in my mind and I realized what he said as I was driving away, "Nice hat @$$hole". It actually cracked me up when it hit me, I guess he was just trying to impress his girl?lol

Geez, what a moron. Was he one of those guys who had the pants hanging down so you could say: nice pants I can see your @$$. [huh]

Regards,

J

 

[The Wingnut]

...sonds like the standard 'Wow, something unusual that I cannot mentally cope with, must say something derogatory to make myself more comfortable' response.

I'd have found it pretty difficult to rein in my temper at such an abrasive, unwarranted and essentially unprovoked comment. '@$$hole' status because of a hat? Where does he get off?

 

[Miss Neecerie]

...sonds like the standard 'Wow, something unusual that I cannot mentally cope with, must say something derogatory to make myself more comfortable' response.

I'd have found it pretty difficult to rein in my temper at such an abrasive, unwarranted and essentially unprovoked comment. '@$$hole' status because of a hat? Where does he get off?

But -why- stoop to their level by even responding at all?

 

[The Wingnut]

Yes, it's not worth even responding to...

...but then, there's the whole issue of letting someone get away with such behavior unpunished. Where do you draw the line?

'Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.'