Self-Conscious?

[tinmanzzz]

Are you in the Show ????

Last night, My wife & I went to a local production of "GUYS AND DOLLS"
Of the approximate 700 people in the audience I was the only person wearing a Fedora (black shirt, black pants, black fedora and a Bold black & red tie)
Infact, I was twice asked if I was in the show. My reply:
No, I dress like this every day !!!! :cheers1:

 

[DrQuest]

Then welcome to a group(and a growing one at that) that is in agreement with your thinking. You will find that you will eventually become more comfortable about accepting how you think you should look and also find out that eventually, people around you will accept the new you and they will actually be shocked when you forget to wear your hat! Over time, it simply becomes a part of you.............

Probably one of the top 5 most helpful responses I've heard. Good answer!


If I may quote Stan Lee......."Excelsior!"

 

[Kaosharper1]

Fedoras rare everywhere

DrQuest and fellow Loungers.

I must say that I am very self concience about wearing my lid. I live in Essex England and the only hat coulture we have here is the baseball cap. For a start I live in England and not the US, so a Fedora sticks out like a sore thumb. Infact I would not be suprised if I am the only person in the area where I live that wears one.

Paul.

I work in Boston and its almost the same. In fact, I travel a lot and I don't know of any place where Fedoras are common. Its usually baseball caps. If anyone thinks I look silly, I ask them what they think of that guy over there in the suit and tie wearing a baseball cap. Talk about silly.

Does anyone on this list live in a place where Fedora's are common?

 

[SamReu]

Spokes Man

Dr. Quest, I live in Atlanta, which isn't too far from you. This is truly the land of baseball caps, but so what?
A fedora is style. A fedora is swagger. A fedora is winking at a good-looking woman on the street and knowing she's smiling as she passes.
In short, a fedora is what you make of it. Wear one, boldly.

 

[Rick Blaine]

As some sage here once said...

"...wear the hat, don't let the hat wear you."

 

[DrQuest]

Dr. Quest, I live in Atlanta, which isn't too far from you. This is truly the land of baseball caps, but so what?
A fedora is style. A fedora is swagger. A fedora is winking at a good-looking woman on the street and knowing she's smiling as she passes.
In short, a fedora is what you make of it. Wear one, boldly.

Very well said, my friend. :eusa_clap

 

[John in Covina]

Common vs uncommon.

I live in the San Gabriel Valley East of Pasadena an north east of Los Angeles proper. When I am out and about there are days i will not see another fedora of any type, but during the course of a week I may see 3 or 4 if i am visiting an urban center or perhaps a mall of some type. THere are some days I will see more than one, like visitng Hollywood or Melrose where the trendy youngsters are wearing the stingy brim styles. A medium or wide brim fedora I may see once or twice a week and not always is it associated with a suit and tie. I actually see about as many if not more cowboy hats because of visiting southern neighbors where the vaquero is a cowboy hat wearer.

Would I wear my fedora if no one else did? Probably, I like the style and don't see it as a need for conforming to what others are doing. I don't select my suits or shoes or ties that way nor my haircut or glasses. I get what i want as long as i can afford it, and in the case of my glasses I selected the best ones from my perspective from what was offered (in my price range) at the time. Man glasses can get expensive rather quickly too.

Am I worried I will be beaten by roving bands of anti-fedora-wearer thugs? No and I would hope that in the civilized world such activities would be pretty much zero. Are you worried about a real threat, something implied or the ravings of some small minded individual?

I worry more about having to drive in traffic out here and the craziness you see on the road a lot more than some snippy put down by a misanthrope.

Or do we all chuck it and wear the same thing as everyone else, which reminds me of the old Mao jacket and hat that came with the little red book.

Heaven forbid it.

 

[Stoney]

Or do we all chuck it and wear the same thing as everyone else, which reminds me of the old Mao jacket and hat that came with the little red book.

Heaven forbid it.

Well stated John. We must always remember that others are not as fortunate to have the freedom of choice we enjoy and often overlook. :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

[Archéologue]

They will do absolutely everything they can to make you conform.
Being almost 60, I recently worked in an office where everyone was
half my age. Oh!... the fits they would have because I don't
"act my age" and fit into their stereotype of what
I am "supposed" to be, to think, to act, to be capable of.

Strangely, these were all self-identified "liberal" or "non-conformist" types.
In fact, they were the most conservative, intolerant, and judgemental bunch I ever met!

Be the person you choose to be.
When they say that you are "full of yourself",
ask them just who you are "supposed" to be full with. Them?

Mike

 

[Beowulf67]

Strangely, these were all self-identified "liberal" or "non-conformist" types.
In fact, they were the most conservative, intolerant, and judgemental bunch I ever met!



Mike

I've noticed that often the ones who celebrate "tolerence" and "diversity" only celebrate when you agree with them! Otherwise they aren't so tolerant of your diversity. lol

 

[MississippiLong]

fftopic:

DrQuest, Beowulf,

what part of Bama, are you guys from? I went to U of A. Roll Tide! You shouldn't feel self-concious, one man paved the way for us....

Roll
Tide
Roll.

 

[DrQuest]

fftopic:

DrQuest, Beowulf,

what part of Bama, are you guys from? I went to U of A. Roll Tide! You shouldn't feel self-concious, one man paved the way for us....

Roll
Tide
Roll.

MississippiLong:

I am from a VERY small town called Parrish, about 8 miles from Jasper and about 45 miles from Birmingham. I didnt realize you went to U of A....:eusa_clap


ROLL TIDE!!!!!!!

 

[MississippiLong]

reading through this thread again, I see both of you have already said where you're from..my apologies gentlemen. Beowulf, my fiance's family live in Decatur, right in your neck of the woods, and QuestM.D., gotta love those rolling hills round your parts.

Roll Tide.

ML

 

[HarpPlayerGene]

"I" don't necessarily wear my hats. It's more like the showman in me does. I've become so seemless with this aspect of my personality that even when I'm not performing I still like to project a funky style which entertains me and sometimes others as well. I don't have any hang-ups about it, rather, I see it as an ice-breaker.

I suspect that most of us in the Lounge have favorite characters in movies or books who are charismatic, entertaining and confident. I think many people secretly long to allow that character within them to bloom a little. I say, don't wait another minute!

To closely paraphrase an excerpt from a book with just such a character;

"It's not straights who limit gays, it's not blacks who limit whites. What limits people is lack of character. They lack the (blank)ing nerve or imagination to act in their own movies, let alone direct them."
- Tom Robbins, "Still Life With Woodpecker"

I read that about 20 years ago and it changed my whole approach to the way I choose to live and enjoy and direct my own life story. Once I had the right relaxed attitude in my head, it was very comfortable putting a fedora on my head.

 

[Kaosharper1]

One More Fedora Wearer in SoCal

I live in the San Gabriel Valley East of Pasadena an north east of Los Angeles proper. When I am out and about there are days i will not see another fedora of any type, but during the course of a week I may see 3 or 4 if i am visiting an urban center or perhaps a mall of some type. .

You may be seeing another one running around. Chances are good I'll be moving to Pasadena.

 

[Beowulf67]

reading through this thread again, I see both of you have already said where you're from..my apologies gentlemen. Beowulf, my fiance's family live in Decatur, right in your neck of the woods, and QuestM.D., gotta love those rolling hills round your parts.

Roll Tide.

ML

I live about 10 miles outside of Decatur. It's a small world after all.
(I hope you all have the song stuck in your head for the rest of the day now lol )

 

[John in Covina]

You may be seeing another one running around. Chances are good I'll be moving to Pasadena.

********
We look forward to having you join us out West.

 

[HamletJSD]

:eusa_clap to whoever pointed out that people will eventually accept you and even be shocked if you forget your hat ... and it won't take long.

This may be a silly exercise, but focus on not acting "fidgety" or awkward with your hat, as if you never know what to do with it. Like your shirt and shoes, it's just another article of clothing. Frequently re-adjusting your hat or pulling it off your head and fussing with it draws attention to the fact that you are self conscious about it ... just as if you were obsessively messing with your tie or re-tucking your shirt. Once you start to act natural and comfortable, you'll discover that you may actually be comfortable.

 

[HamletJSD]

Oh, and DrQuest, you live right up the tracks from me (well, within 20-30 miles) ...
We almost bought a house in Sumiton about six months ago, but settled a little closer to the city in Adamsville.

 

[DrQuest]

:eusa_clap to whoever pointed out that people will eventually accept you and even be shocked if you forget your hat ... and it won't take long.

This may be a silly exercise, but focus on not acting "fidgety" or awkward with your hat, as if you never know what to do with it. Like your shirt and shoes, it's just another article of clothing. Frequently re-adjusting your hat or pulling it off your head and fussing with it draws attention to the fact that you are self conscious about it ... just as if you were obsessively messing with your tie or re-tucking your shirt. Once you start to act natural and comfortable, you'll discover that you may actually be comfortable.

Excellent advice, HamletJSD. I never looked at it that way before. I will definitely work on not acting fidgety, etc. Thanks.