self-concious in my fedora

[aldocello]

About 12 years ago I was playing in an informal bluegrass band. I bought myself an Open Road to emulate the players of old like Flatt & Scruggs, Bill Monroe, etc. I wore my new hat to a party we were playing at and our bass player practically laughed me out of the place and said I looked like a bad Southern sheriff. Needless to say I was embarassed. I let that Open Road sit in the closet for a few years and everytime I looked at it my face turned bright red. I finally gave it to the Goodwill (somebody got themselves a heck of a deal, I'm sure).

I just bought myself a Dobbs OR clone on ebay and I've worn it out a few times, but I have to admit I'm very self-conscious about wearing a hat. Has anybody else had experiences like this?

 

[Matt Deckard]

You're gonna be... it depends on if the hat suits you and if you can get used to the hat.

If it totally stands out as awkward on you you just can't fix that... yet if you know it's your look, then wear it and wear it and wear it.

Hats with larger brims are still a bit anachronistic today and people see them as an affectation. Cowboy hats can pass and so can stingy brims, though hats that look as though they stepped out of a movie from the 40's will always sign you up for the retro club because they haven't really ever come back into the public consciousness as a regular hat... a fashion item or a utility item. They are still in a way costume. They can leap from costume with confidence. If you think it works, just keep wearing it till everyone else agrees.

 

[Dewhurst]

I can't say that I have ever felt self-conscious in the "out of place" fashion. I feel good wearing a hat, especially a fedora. Then again, I am a bit of a Stoic, and the opinions of others matters about as much to me as the opinion of a pebble stuck between two treads in my shoes.[huh]

I may have an unfair advantage.

Having grown up in a family that wears hats (I'm the only obsessive one, though), they just seem right to me.

Perhaps you could try to simplify your thoughts, and do your best to eradicate those memories that are embarassing. Try to wear the hat around the house all the time and check yourself out in the mirror until you get used to it?

Familiarity may engender confidence.

(I wore a bucket hat in middle school because I thought it was cool. I have no shame. None whatsoever.)

 

[Scrateshooter]

I just started wearing a fedora here in Tucson. I always wore felt and straw Resistols growing up in N.E. Texas. People haven't made fun of me yet. In the last three days of wearing it I have noticed women like to look at men in hats. I dress in a way that the hat doesn't stick out (only while wearing a jacket like a Navy bomber or a safari jacket). Most people wear mohawks or whatnot to look "different". A hat is practical.

Also I spent 7 years in the Marines/Army and if you were outside you had a cover on, so that made it feel natural. I actually heard a young women say something under her breath that reminded me of when I was younger and saw a buxom redhead.

 

[abduktedtemplar]

the other reply was right. wear it around the house to get used to it and check yourself out in the mirror with it on. the key to pulling off any clothing or accessory is to own it. it takes chutzpa to to bring something different to the table. brush off any negative comments you get because anybody that gives them is a tasteless oaf that wouldn't know style if it bit him in the rear. make sure you keep your head up. if it helps, strut and fake it till it feels right.

 

[metropd]

About 12 years ago I was playing in an informal bluegrass band. I bought myself an Open Road to emulate the players of old like Flatt & Scruggs, Bill Monroe, etc. I wore my new hat to a party we were playing at and our bass player practically laughed me out of the place and said I looked like a bad Southern sheriff. Needless to say I was embarassed. I let that Open Road sit in the closet for a few years and everytime I looked at it my face turned bright red. I finally gave it to the Goodwill (somebody got themselves a heck of a deal, I'm sure).

I just bought myself a Dobbs OR clone on ebay and I've worn it out a few times, but I have to admit I'm very self-conscious about wearing a hat. Has anybody else had experiences like this?

No.:eusa_doh: [huh] I am sorry maybe wear it around the house for a week and then go outside?

 

[UWS Cowboy]

While I agree with everyone who may say wear a hat with confidence, it can definitely be difficult until you get used to it. I have also felt self conscious with my federation, but a lot of it had to do with my slim figure and the wide brim. I trimmed the brim, now it's fine. Another BIG factor is clothing. I try to dress casual with my hat. I wear jeans, wool blazer, leather jacket, sometimes dressier pants. If I'm going to wear a hoodie on some days I won't wear a fedora, at least a wide brimmed fedora. I do think anything 2 inches or under is fine with a hoodie, even if it's not the best look. A t shirt of course, is fine. So really find a hat that suits you proportionately, and try to wear clothes that look good with it.

 

[Nick D]

I feel self-consious if I leave the house without my hat.

Wear it around the house, wear it out to mundane things like running to the corner store for a gallon of milk. Eventually you'll build up the confidence to wear it generally.

 

[4and1]

I believe you'll always be self-conscious, to some degree, in a hat that is outside the norm. But, if you look around at what is considered normal these days you'll see it sets you apart in a good way (given, of course, it's a good lookin' hat).
If you're sportin' a wide brim with a high crown you may have to up the swagger a notch. Say what you mean, mean what you say, but always be polite and considerate. Then you'll be conscious that you're a good man in a sharp hat. Run with it!

 

[seed]

I think Mr. Deckard and 4and1 hit the nail on the head, if you'll pardon the cliche. Adding to what they said, to pull off a wider brim hat it is my opinion that you need to wear the clothes to go with it. I mean you better dress pretty damned sharp (nice suit and tie OR some sort of combo of which adding the hat noticeably contributes to the aesthetics of your outfit...like a nice overcoat).

But to be safe, or more accurately so that you feel more comfortable and confident, you may want to start with a stingy brim, low crown in a color which goes with a lot of nice clothes you own or plan to soon own (brown or gray (hats), leaning towards darker shades). And this may sound silly, but you might consider flipping the brim up rather than snapping it down.

I myself am 38, though in my line of work where I am around tons of early 20-somethings, and because I take care of myself a lot of people are surprised to hear that I am that old. So if anyone gives me grief (very rare), I tell them my age and that I am a full on adult and will do and wear what the hell ever I want. I'm not a kid anymore. That removes any nonsense of me "trying". Confidence is key. But you can still look silly, so good taste is important.

 

[Wolfwood]

I don't feel self-conscious at all in my hat, but, then again, I knew that it was "me" when I started wearing them. It was only when my first fedora started showing signs of distortion etc. (it was only a wool felt - I didn't know better), that I became self-conscious about it.

...to pull off a wider brim hat it is my opinion that you need to wear the clothes to go with it. I mean you better dress pretty damned sharp (nice suit and tie OR some sort of combo of which adding the hat noticeably contributes to the aesthetics of your outfit...like a nice overcoat).

It really depends, in my opinion. I tend to go outside and to work in the outfit shown in my avatar and I don't feel that my wide-brimmed fedora is out-of-place at all. Rather, it is "in proportion" with the rest of me.

And, before you ask, I'm a doctor and a researcher, so I'm allowed some freedom as far as my work outfit is concerned (though my shirts are usually regular button-up shirts, so I look presentable when out of my jacket and hat...).

 

[gtdean48]

How did you wear the brim? It sounds like the Aspen/Cattleman crease cause I got the sherriff comment when I first got mine = Jackie Gleason in Smokey & the Bandit. I wore it with brim down all around & eventually changed the bash to a front pinch, like OR of my grandfather. Hat wearing is about attitude. Get a positive one best you can.

 

[Lefty]

Dress up? Wear it in the house? What is all of this craziness? [huh]

Buy a hat with a shorter brim (2" or less) and wear it for a while. You'll get comfortable with seeing just the edge of the brim, and people will get used to seeing you in a hat. Get a neutral colored, fairly ordinary hat that doesn't make you feel strange whether you wear jeans or a suit. Wear what you wear. Putting on clothes that aren't your normal style will only add to your anxiety.

Wear only this hat for how ever long it takes. Depending upon your level of comfort, after weeks or months have gone by, you may find that you're ready to hang out that wide brim. If not, consider picking up another hat - one that's got a brim wider than 2" but less than your OR style hat.

Eventually, you'll feel good about yourself in a hat, and people won't recognize you without one. At this point, I could wear a flower pot on my head and wouldn't even notice if anyone stared.

Are we not men?

 

[Thwack]

Back in college I wore a kangol wool porkpie. The hat would, after a while, start to smell and become stiff from sweat. Being new to the college town I didn't want to just take it anywhere so I stopped wearing it until I could get home to visit the cleaner. After the second day not wearing it one of the kids in my class came up to me and said "Thank god you stopped wearing that hat, it was just awful." Needless to say we never became friends.

However I have had a few fedoras since then and wear a dark brown fed IV wherever I go today. I felt a bit strange when I first started wearing it since it was my first fedora in years but I quickly got over it and now I won't even step out to take out the garbage without it on. I'm still suprised by the number of people that check it out when we go places though.

Oh and I love having a large brim, keeps the sun out of my eyes as well as the rain and snow. Stingy brims are just a fashion accesory!

 

[Nick D]

...and people won't recognize you without one....[/IMG]

This happens to me lol

 

[Havana]

You must persist with the wearing. As you continue to wear it, regardless of others' reactions, people will accept seeing you in a hat. They will tire of making hat comments and also realize that you're going to do what you want to do regardless of their opinions. You will get the occassional Indy/Bogart/Crocodile Dundee/cowboy remarks. Many people make these remarks with little thought and don't always intend it to be insulting. Just take those in stride. You will encounter some fools and jerks along life's path who can only feel good about themselves by mocking others. You'll probably encounter more of this if you're younger. Never forget where they're coming from and how lowly they must feel if they can only bring attention to themselves by mocking another person's clothing. That's quite pathetic actually. With all of that said, I have found that I have received far, far more positive comments about my hats over the years. Though it was an everyday occurence during my teen years, now in my 30's I honestly can't even remember the last time someone mocked my hat. I think you also find that quality women like a man in a hat - maybe because it suggests that you're independent and confident?

 

[Carlisle Blues]

Worn fedora since I was a teenager...couple of years ago. Whether it's a health reason or pure aesthetics it's my head and my heart.

If I am sensitive to the barbs of the scoffers then maybe I should not stand out with a fedora. I could always wear a baseball hat and fit right in so no one will "look" at me.

I gotta be who I am, no apologies, explanations or concessions. After all, it is just a hat.:cool2:

 

[dhermann1]

Just visualizing whacking your "buddy" who mocked you upside the gourd with a large two by four. That's what he deserved. And enjoy your hat.

 

[filfoster]

wearing a fedora

Many people think that age is a gatekeeper of hat wearing. And climate. I am 55 and began wearing fedoras at the bus stop 10 years ago because....it's flippin' cold here in the winter. Gradually, I acquired a collection of new ones (at $200+ per) and then discovered Ebay and vintage sites where I could get wonderful vintatge ones for a fraction of that. I wore a 50's Dobbs of New York, high crown, snap brim charcoal with wind tether cord, today. I have a nearly identical brown one from Ebay. My favorite is a pearl gray Stetson from the late 30's that's mint, from a vintage site.
Now, Homburgs, that's something different. I am not worthy to wear one of those yet! Silver hair required, perhaps a goatee. I have a beautiful one from Canada, black that I have flattened the brim on a little with steam.

Baseball hats? At the game or on weekends.

Wear your hat. Scoffers are only jealous of your style and security. And warm head.

 

[Chrome]

I'm also a newbie in the hat world, like in the suit world

Now I feel naked to go outside without some hat, strange how things change. I have driven fourties to sixties US cars years now and because these are rare here people stare. so with experience I can ingore all those staring people and be me.

people dress like they want, or like their idols do: http://tinyurl.com/ay4yss