Sad to be alone in my appreciation of another era

[PrettySquareGal]

Thanks to everyone else again for your suggestions and experiences.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Thing is ... some here in this forum me included have the past very close to their hearts, it permeates everything, everyday, every time, the past is the present. In my case, I know, it is.

Yes, I can relate to that.

 

[nice hat dude!]

Yes, I can relate to that.

Well young lady you're sounding a little more cheerful than you were earlier I hope this is true and like I've said earlier we may not be able to actually do anything in the physical sense for you but it's always nice to have someone to listen once in a while,wishing you all the best.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Well young lady you're sounding a little more cheerful than you were earlier I hope this is true and like I've said earlier we may not be able to actually do anything in the physical sense for you but it's always nice to have someone to listen once in a while,wishing you all the best.

Thank you. And yes, it's lovely to be heard and understood.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I've been into things vintage since college (the late 70s-early '80s). On the day before finals week in my senior year, I threw a huge "last party of the semester" blowout and invited everyone in my department (theatre-dance). The place was packed and while we played plenty of then-contemporary music, I also threw on some Glenn Miller for a while. Everyone loved it.

My point being, you may be able to win over some converts if you encourage them. Throw a vintage party (and be patient with their initially weak attempts to pull off the look) with great vintage music or even throw a regular party and sneak in some swing music (or the music you prefer). I'll bet you'd find people are open to such new-old experiences.

Thanks. I've had parties in my house which naturally were vintage. People have a great time and can appreciate my vintage home, but in the way one enjoys a museum. I've never had any converts.

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Until this past August, I always had trouble fitting in. I mean, I like most of my neighbours, but some of them I just don't click with. There are always awkward silences because we intimidate each other. I think they might not know what so talk to me about because my interests are so specialized. I don't want them to be this way, but I seem to have that effect on people and I hate it!

In August I went to a "rockabilly" bar that was 10 minutes from my house and I now have a great group of friends that I really should have known all along. The band leader Drew Nugent from Philadelphia is part of this crowd and I can sit there and talk to him about 20s and 30s music for long stretches of time. No awkward silences. And he KNOWS what I'm talking about...even if it's the most obscure thing I can think of! Then we sing it. I don't think I've ever held such a conversation with a live person before lol

I never knew such a group existed in Philadelphia. They welcomed me and my husband with open arms -- even asking us why it took this long for all of us to meet! There's never a dull, quiet, or awkward moment with these people. They range in age from late 20s to early 40s. They range from the greaser-est rockabilly car-club guys to the 1930s-style dandies. I'm somewhere in the middle. My life has been changed because of them and I don't feel so lonely anymore.

I know what it is like to be all alone in your interests/lifestyle and having other people be intimidated by it or not into it (no outlet of conversation). Maybe take a chance with something if there is something remotely vintage near you?

I've had some wonderful experiences volunteering with the elderly. They are the real deal-I don't mean vintage because of their age, but because of their values and knowledge. I get a kick out of listening to music with them that none of my peers enjoy. I learn so much from them. But because of their age they aren't around long and I've had some heartbreaking experiences because of it. I'm open to doing it again once I'm over the loss of my former pals.

 

[kiwilrdg]

I've had some wonderful experiences volunteering with the elderly.

There are many organizations that you can join that rather than being a volunteer. Swing and ballroom dance clubs are a perfect example. Sewing and garden clubs as well as most traditional hobby clubs seem to attract people with more traditional values.

 

[Maj.Nick Danger]

Thanks. I've had parties in my house which naturally were vintage. People have a great time and can appreciate my vintage home, but in the way one enjoys a museum. I've never had any converts.

So maybe an appreciation for old fashioned values is something we are born with? [huh] But at the same time, people have to be exposed to them also. So part of it must be environment.
The modern world of technology in which we live is hardly conducive to people adopting those values which we hold dear. It seems that most people are caught up in the current mindset of instant gratification, hard work of any kind being a thing of the past. Most people it seems also dislike history, so they won't even know or care what the past was like.

 

[sheeplady]

I was thinking about this- but do you have any historical societies near you? Most people who work, volunteer, or attend events at historical societies have a strong interest in history. It might not be of the same time period, but they tend to be a good bunch.

Also, I've also gotten the feeling that others feel my home is a museum or something. And it's not that I even try to replicate a single time period. So you're not alone in that. I've also gotten comments that I'm kind of a oddball hostess because I actually try to set a nice table or buffet.

 

[ButteMT61]

I hear you on this, but I'm too beyond caring if I "fit in" (and I know that's not what you're saying). We are what we are - do what we do. most think it's whimsical, maybe some think it's nuts, but we've not lost friends over it. I think they're somewhat entertained by it. I'm only talking about our home - it's a 1906, and we try to decorate period, while being realistic and functional. We have modern appliances, etc. but we got an AGA Cooker which looks correct for the period, and we sacrificed functionality some by keeping the floor vents for the HVAC. The windows and doors all are not air-tight, and our utility bills are stupid high. I wear lots of WWII era leather jackets, and some 40s-50s work wear, but nothing too severe. My son and his girlfriend are into vintage, and have a huge group of friends that are also, so they dig the home scene here. Neighbors also love it 'cause that's why we're all here. 90% of our friends are modern, California planned development kinda people. Three kids, dogs, softball league. Not us, never have been. We like our life. We like our chicken coop in the back, the cats by the oven and fireplace. I think we're living the good life myself, and I feel bad for those not like US
Sorry for the run-on, blabbering. Trying to type and he coherent during a boring meeting

 

[LizzieMaine]

Also, I've also gotten the feeling that others feel my home is a museum or something. And it's not that I even try to replicate a single time period.

I've gotten this occasionally too, and my usual response is "if it was a museum, you'd have been charged admission at the door." I don't get it often, though -- I'm extremely selective about the people I have over, and those who feel like it's an invitation to crack wise don't get a second chance.

The key, I think, is not treating the place like a museum yourself. My furniture is threadbare where old furniture is threadbare, I don't have a coronary if somebody sets a drink down on the coffee table without using a coaster, I don't insist people take their shoes off to avoid marring the floor or staining the rug: they can't do any damage four generations of cats haven't already done. If your house feels like a *home,* not a movie set or a museum display, people will usually respond accordingly.

 

[ButteMT61]

We are called, and enjoy the "Harry Potter house" comments. Yeah, there's a couple radios and telephones from the 20's that don't work! It's awesome. Enjoy it.
Our floors are now imperfect, having pets, kids, and grandkids.
It's not magazine ready, except maybe one day a week when our cleaning lady comes, sighs, and does her thing. Yeah, my OCD met my wife and her creative, messy ways won out. I'm OK with it now. I get one day a week of solace

 

[sheeplady]

I've gotten this occasionally too, and my usual response is "if it was a museum, you'd have been charged admission at the door." I don't get it often, though -- I'm extremely selective about the people I have over, and those who feel like it's an invitation to crack wise don't get a second chance.

The key, I think, is not treating the place like a museum yourself. My furniture is threadbare where old furniture is threadbare, I don't have a coronary if somebody sets a drink down on the coffee table without using a coaster, I don't insist people take their shoes off to avoid marring the floor or staining the rug: they can't do any damage four generations of cats haven't already done. If your house feels like a *home,* not a movie set or a museum display, people will usually respond accordingly.

I very much live with my stuff and I have very few pieces that were expensive or perfect- and I have a low bar for both. I think of it as used stuff and I don't buy things that I won't use- I do have some family pieces but if they are delicate they are "locked up" or otherwise put in a place where people can't accidentally damage them (for instance, I have a few candy dishes that are special, and they are in a locked cabinet and I don't use them). I'm not saying that I don't have nice things- I really do- but they are not perfect things and I tend to look at things as being more valued in being used than being "kept."

If I serve someone dinner on a china set I bought for $5 and they ask "is it old?" and I answer, they suddenly get worried they will scratch it or damage it or something. I think it's part of these people not being used to using old stuff, and they equate all old stuff with being valuable. Sure, it's valuable to ME, but honestly it's not priceless and I expect to break pieces. I've broken pieces just washing or storing them, and that's more horrible in my mind than breaking something that is being used. Or people are just plain hesitant to sit on my nice couch or a nice chair, because it looks old and "valuable." Some of this could be that a lot of my friends don't have good furniture (being temporarily quite poor while in school) and equating anything not pulled out of a dumpster with being valuable.

 

[fashion frank]

From what I gather here ,there are a few of "us" in the New England area , perhaps someday we could have a regional get together with our spouse's ,meet in a central location like Boston or something , go to dinner and meet and spend an evening getting to know each other ,that way we network and then you dont feel like your going it alone .

Speaking for myself , I feel great about myself in what I like in terms of music , clothes etc. etc. etc. as they say , "I'm a killer diller, a solid sender " and I could care less about what people say and or think about me ,I'm playing my own tune and marching to my own drum.

All the Best , Fashion Frank

 

[St. Louis]

If you folks ever get together in Boston, I hope I get to hear about it. I'm homesick for the brine of the Atlantic Ocean. I still have friends there and could be talked into saving my pennies for a trip back east. (I moved to St. Louis for my job.)

I understand Miss PrettySquareGal's dilemma perfectly, I think. I'm at home here in the late 1930s. It's not a theme party, so much; it's just where I am most happy and contented. My clothes and home are right for me and I do sometimes feel very isolated. That's not because my current friends don't appreciate it, because I am sure they do. It's more because I feel that I can't make myself understood somehow. I'm living the life I love, but I can't easily share it with anyone. I don't feel judged or put down, just alone.

As far as I know, there is simply not another soul in this town who's into the 1930s in this way. I could be wrong, of course. (Are there any other St. Louisans, or at least Missourians around here?)

All that said, recently a bunch of little girls invited themselves into my house. They rang the bell and said that they wanted to see how I lived because they like the way I dress. When I asked them in, they charged around the house and kept saying, "oooh, ooohhh, it's so cozy!" That made my day.