Hello. I sure thank you so very much.
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Please help Cindy (LuvMyMan) and Daniel.
- Thread starter Bob Roberts
- Start date
Thanks...it is not always easy to keep myself positive, but from all my Husband has shared and given to me over the years, our love is what makes it go past the impossible.
In speaking at his good friend's funeral, one statement that hit home with so many...our friend Mike had in his past conversed with Daniel about how he knew God had placed his Wife in his life and he loved her beyond words....such was the same Daniel and I have always know about our own relationship.
In our travels in life, Daniel and I have been able to enjoy so much, share so much, we really have not much of a "bucket list" if at all...LOL! Knowing everyone here has made a fantastic good difference in how things are as to share all the love is important, as well as the prayers and support. I'm not getting as much rest as I used to as I do more by myself around here and then to keep making financial ends meet. I just finished doing a few pairs of shoes for "customers" so I had some extra money for the next few weeks. I wanted to hang onto my tax return for a hat from Esther...but that was spent on household maintenance issues, furnace, hot water heater, sealant for the roof and a battery for the car. My neighbors all watched me on our roof, with using a "flat bar" to lift up a shingle to then use a gun with a tube of sealant to place a bead of that under the shingle and moosh that down until some of it oozed out of the edges of the shingle to actually grab and hold it down. Our shingles are still looking o.k. but the tar strip on many of them just do not hold them down any longer, so this is the only good fix. Then I had to get the model number off the water heater, go find a replacement dip tube for it, shut off the water, use a pipe tube cutter to cut off the copper pipe that is the feed line on top of the heater, wrench out the old dip tube...(there was only about an inch of that left to pull out) and then had to use a bottle torch and some soilder on a new connector to repair the place I had cut so it would be sealed all up water tight. Only my experiences with Daniel would have ever given me the education on how to do any of this...I would be lost to try to do this on my own. And I know that to do all this safely was the prayers and the Lord looking over me to help me out!
Next month...I get to tackle building some replacement struts for our car. One of our friends will come over to help me wrench on those but they have to be done and I can't afford paying the $4000.00 I was quoted to have a shop do it. No one has those pre built replacement struts for our Lancer, so each part has to be purchased and then assembled. I can buy everything and do the build myself for less than $1,400.00 and then only have to worry about where to take the car for a 4 way wheel alignment....phew! LOL
OldStrummer
Practically Family
- Messages
- 552
- Location
- Ashburn, Virginia USA
Cindy, I don't know you or Daniel, and have only recently joined this forum, so I hope you don't mind if I offer the two of you up in prayer. You seem to have gotten "it" -- that life isn't a dress-rehearsal.
There is a saying I'm sure you've heard: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift from God, which is why it's called "the present."
Best to you and Daniel.
There is a saying I'm sure you've heard: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift from God, which is why it's called "the present."
Best to you and Daniel.
Well it just seems to be a one step forward and then one back. I had to re-do our budget for allowing an eye exam for Daniel so he could have better new glasses as he has had the ones he uses since 2004, and felt for many years he had no scratches on them so why get new ones...but his eye sight was getting so bad he could hardly see much. I took him to the eye doctor as he was actually starting to see double vision and we were concerned. During the exam the normal issue of cataracts surfaced but then in his right eye the optometrist stated it appears to have an issue with cancer. That makes sense of why Daniel is also having an issue with his sinus area on the right nostril. A tumor is present pushing the eye which is causing him to have some cross eye affects. So here I save some money by obtaining frames from eBay and think Daniel will have some better sight with new glasses just to find out he will be having his right eye removed and will more then likely want to have a glass eye rather than a pirate patch.
So...I have been going through all the things I can sell off to help get things paid for. Daniel will be able to have some procedure after they remove his eye that helps shape the eye socket to help a glass eye fit and conform to the needed shape. A fellow lounger advised me to seek some help from the Lion's Club which I have contacted to find out the things they can help out with.
Daniel's Oncologist advised me that taking the tumor from the eye area and his sinus will help restore the breathing issues he has had and aide in his quality of life for some short term time period, but there is little hope that his cancer is not going to continue spreading. Not something I wanted to hear but we know that we have been doing what we can each day. Had I not taken him for an eye exam, things could have been much worse and what time he has left in this life would be a lot shorter. This past few weeks have been brutal on me emotionally. No other way to say it, but it just flat out stinks for this to be happening. It has about robbed Daniel of what hope he has held onto for a long time now. Our close friends all know this is going on and seem to not know how to react and are more or less keeping their distance. I guess in some ways it is O.K. as I am wanting to really spend more time then ever with Daniel and not having to share any time with visitors. One of our dogs seem to sense all this as he will stay next to Daniel all the time now and does not want to play with the other two dogs we have.
In discussing all the issues of what we face, Daniel desires to have me do what I can and not worry about everything so much as it is hard on him to know I am carrying the emotional stress as I do. We already have been smart enough to plan ahead for what sort of funeral and memorial for our friends and family as some people in our life are not close to this area where we live and many would need to be able to take off work to attend a service no matter what.
Three different medical doctors have talked with us to tell us what to expect and give us what information regarding what can be done to help prolong Daniel's life time, and when things would get to a stage where we could make a choice of Hospice. Well my late Mother was in Hospice and she died a horrible death...so that is ruled out already. As nothing in life is 100% on what they have explained to us, it was stated Daniel has about another 6 months or less. I have been going in a circle on all of it as he had already had to cope with enough as I have as well. It really grinds me to have Daniel doing all sorts of medical treatments and doing battle with all we have to now be told this news. It seems so unfair and making me feel so helpless. I am knowing one element of this all is prayer and it really comes down to just that. If I can not come unglued it will be only by what prayers can be answered. My entire life and soul is connected to Daniel. In leaving his last Doctor's visit I made mention to his Doctor to be aware of how Daniel and I have been since day one of our relationship...I have heard of people coming to death due to a broken heart and have to actually consider such might just happen for me. Part of my "help" group keeping me from going totally bonkers is right here....the Lounge, Daniel knows it as I know it. You all have no idea how thankful we are that this Fedora Lounge is here. It has been a pillow to lay my head on to have a time out and take a break from the madness of all the medical issues and loss. In some ways I think of how some people in life have to be going through similar ordeals and have NO place or friends like we do here to give them a comfort.
So I have to say thank you all for so much you have shared with Daniel and I.
Love ya!
So...I have been going through all the things I can sell off to help get things paid for. Daniel will be able to have some procedure after they remove his eye that helps shape the eye socket to help a glass eye fit and conform to the needed shape. A fellow lounger advised me to seek some help from the Lion's Club which I have contacted to find out the things they can help out with.
Daniel's Oncologist advised me that taking the tumor from the eye area and his sinus will help restore the breathing issues he has had and aide in his quality of life for some short term time period, but there is little hope that his cancer is not going to continue spreading. Not something I wanted to hear but we know that we have been doing what we can each day. Had I not taken him for an eye exam, things could have been much worse and what time he has left in this life would be a lot shorter. This past few weeks have been brutal on me emotionally. No other way to say it, but it just flat out stinks for this to be happening. It has about robbed Daniel of what hope he has held onto for a long time now. Our close friends all know this is going on and seem to not know how to react and are more or less keeping their distance. I guess in some ways it is O.K. as I am wanting to really spend more time then ever with Daniel and not having to share any time with visitors. One of our dogs seem to sense all this as he will stay next to Daniel all the time now and does not want to play with the other two dogs we have.
In discussing all the issues of what we face, Daniel desires to have me do what I can and not worry about everything so much as it is hard on him to know I am carrying the emotional stress as I do. We already have been smart enough to plan ahead for what sort of funeral and memorial for our friends and family as some people in our life are not close to this area where we live and many would need to be able to take off work to attend a service no matter what.
Three different medical doctors have talked with us to tell us what to expect and give us what information regarding what can be done to help prolong Daniel's life time, and when things would get to a stage where we could make a choice of Hospice. Well my late Mother was in Hospice and she died a horrible death...so that is ruled out already. As nothing in life is 100% on what they have explained to us, it was stated Daniel has about another 6 months or less. I have been going in a circle on all of it as he had already had to cope with enough as I have as well. It really grinds me to have Daniel doing all sorts of medical treatments and doing battle with all we have to now be told this news. It seems so unfair and making me feel so helpless. I am knowing one element of this all is prayer and it really comes down to just that. If I can not come unglued it will be only by what prayers can be answered. My entire life and soul is connected to Daniel. In leaving his last Doctor's visit I made mention to his Doctor to be aware of how Daniel and I have been since day one of our relationship...I have heard of people coming to death due to a broken heart and have to actually consider such might just happen for me. Part of my "help" group keeping me from going totally bonkers is right here....the Lounge, Daniel knows it as I know it. You all have no idea how thankful we are that this Fedora Lounge is here. It has been a pillow to lay my head on to have a time out and take a break from the madness of all the medical issues and loss. In some ways I think of how some people in life have to be going through similar ordeals and have NO place or friends like we do here to give them a comfort.
So I have to say thank you all for so much you have shared with Daniel and I.
Love ya!
- Messages
- 14,841
Prayers for you both Cindy. Your everlasting strength, love and optimism continues to inspire.
I'm so very sorry to hear this. I know from personal experience how hard it can be to be in a place like this. I was the caregiver for my Dad for five years as his life in this world came to an end. At the last, I felt as if I had come to the end of my rope and I really felt like that rope's end was slipping out of my hands. When I thought I could not even put one foot in front of the other, I felt the hand of God hold me. It's been 10 years now and I still miss my Dad dearly; however, I am at peace with myself knowing I did all I could have done for him.
It is my prayer for you and Daniel that you both will have peace through this difficult time. Please know that there are many people who care about you. People who have never met you. People who pray for you daily. That helps, whether you know it or not. I know, as I've been there.
God bless you and Daniel.
mmbarnes
I'll Lock Up
- Messages
- 4,202
- Location
- A tad northwest of Richmond, VA
You both are in my prayers.
May your faith, the deep abiding love that you and Daniel share, and the knowledge of the love and prayers of your friends and family support you both as you make this journey.
I wish you both peace.
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- Somewhere south of crazy
I second that...
OldStrummer
Practically Family
- Messages
- 552
- Location
- Ashburn, Virginia USA
Cindy, thank you for sharing your story, your faith and your strength. I lift you and Daniel up in my prayers.
- Messages
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- Albany Oregon
You both are in our prayers in this household.
Tukwila
My Mail is Forwarded Here
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- SW of Antifa Central (PDX)
You're both in our prayers, too, Cindy. God bless you both.
Joao Encarnado
I'll Lock Up
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- 7,776
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- Portugal
Cindy you are truly inspirational.
God bless you two.
God bless you two.
- Messages
- 15,259
- Location
- Arlington, Virginia
Couldn't have said it better!
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Thank you all again. Life has sure been an adventure for us. I have no regrets at all, either. As hard as is had been, Daniel and I have had some great pleasure with travel and seeing places, having so much fun and a lot of romance and friends and vacations. Right now as hard as this is going to be for me, and for Daniel, we have been just reflecting on how life has been for us. Many things have happened and it would take a "book" to write it all down, not just for our relationship, but what we have done in life before we met and then after.
Reflecting on the good and happy things has given some comfort and of course, with how things are right now, more than ever, being in a closer relationship with the Lord has helped so very much. If anyone could ever feel like there is no God, or that prayers are not answered, send them to me...I could sure point out so many times things have happened to us and only the prayers resolved the issues or problems we have had to face. Daniel could have been dead awhile already with all his medical conditions but he is still here now this day. It is all I can ask of God, of our Lord and Savior.
When my Mother was close to death and it being Christmas, we prayed she would make it for Christmas as my Brother lives in Florida and we wanted him to at least see her and for my Mom to have just one more Christmas...and she lived until we had that Christmas one more time.
Now I pray for the courage to say goodbye to Daniel. Not a goodbye forever as we do believe we will be together in Heaven...but a goodbye until then. I have prayed for an ability to have him here now for as long as I can and as long as his pain is not so severe that is it beyond him standing it. The "vanity" of losing an eye or all the other issues due to his failing health are nothing as to compare with his life itself and our being together...sharing our love and being able to smile at anything we can.
Daniel and I both know so many blessing coming from the prayers and well wishes from all of you, each of you, and it is the best gift anyone on this Earth could ever have. Thank you all from my heart, from Daniel's heart, thank you dearly.
Reflecting on the good and happy things has given some comfort and of course, with how things are right now, more than ever, being in a closer relationship with the Lord has helped so very much. If anyone could ever feel like there is no God, or that prayers are not answered, send them to me...I could sure point out so many times things have happened to us and only the prayers resolved the issues or problems we have had to face. Daniel could have been dead awhile already with all his medical conditions but he is still here now this day. It is all I can ask of God, of our Lord and Savior.
When my Mother was close to death and it being Christmas, we prayed she would make it for Christmas as my Brother lives in Florida and we wanted him to at least see her and for my Mom to have just one more Christmas...and she lived until we had that Christmas one more time.
Now I pray for the courage to say goodbye to Daniel. Not a goodbye forever as we do believe we will be together in Heaven...but a goodbye until then. I have prayed for an ability to have him here now for as long as I can and as long as his pain is not so severe that is it beyond him standing it. The "vanity" of losing an eye or all the other issues due to his failing health are nothing as to compare with his life itself and our being together...sharing our love and being able to smile at anything we can.
Daniel and I both know so many blessing coming from the prayers and well wishes from all of you, each of you, and it is the best gift anyone on this Earth could ever have. Thank you all from my heart, from Daniel's heart, thank you dearly.
RBH
Bartender
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- 15,316
Saying a prayer for you both.
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- Location
- Boston area
Covering all the bases for you two, I included Daniel in a "Mi Shebeirach" prayer, and will continue to do so.
Take care of Cindy, too...
Take care of Cindy, too...
