Philosophical: The difference between (real) "friends" and "buddies".

[Trenchfriend]

The inflationary term "friends".

That's a good selftest.

Take a seat, be honest to yourself (!) and think about, how much of your so-called "friends" are the real friends and how much are the "buddies".

I really guess, on more then a few, irritiation or even disillusion will crept in.

I was always honest to myself. I got of course some buddies, but my real friends: two. These two are persons, with them I'm talking open, about personal things.

One of my teachers at secondary school gave us the important advise for life, to think about the difference:
She was always a little nerved, when the kids talked about "buddies".
"Buddies, buddies... They are just buddies!"

 

[GHT]

The dictionary definition of friend is, a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. The internet and social media in particular, has devalued the term friend to the point where it's no longer relevant.
Furthermore, when two or more countries fight on the same side in an armed conflict, if by accident, one should fire upon another, it's termed as friendly fire. Nothing friendly for those on the receiving end.
But I take your point, most people have but few real friends. When you are busy raising a family it leaves little time to establish acquaintances that will, if nurtured, grow into strong friendship. Not having any children, as well as being involved in the very tactile pastime of ballroom dancing, my wife and I have made and kept many friends, how many? Well, friends are not trophies to parade around, friends are loving, caring people in whom we trust. We reciprocate that trust, so our friends will be known only unto ourselves.

 

[LizzieMaine]

A real friend is the one who comes over to wash your dishes when you're sick and never once complains about the smell.

 

[Fading Fast]

Perhaps the thing I've found most funny about friendships as I've gotten older is that the real ones survive long periods of no contact.

I have - based on Lizzie's test - three, maybe, four true friends, but because of geographical distance and, as GHT points out, family and other immediate demands, we can go a year or more without contacting each other. But when we do reconnect, there's no gap, no awkwardness, we are right where we've always been and I know I could call anyone of them today (and they could call me in the same manner) and they'd move heaven and earth to help me (as I would for them).

I have plenty of acquaintances - many fewer, though, now that I work from home - that are, on the whole, enjoyable relationships - but they really are just shallow connects versus true friendship.

But that is a pro-active choice on my part as I only want a friend who I can sincerely count on as I am willing to do almost anything for a true friend. Therefore, I'm very hesitant to offer that level of commitment until I'm convinced the person has a similar view toward friendship and the character to follow through.

And yes, the word "friend" seems to have gone from one signifying a deep connection and commitment to what I would call an "acquaintance." It is almost as if everyone you know past a complete superficial level, today, is a "friend."

That in and of itself is no big deal - word evolve - but what word do we have to replace "friend?" None, which is why you hear more adjectives modifying "friend," as in "best," "true," "real," etc.

 

[Bushman]

Friend I use to describe anybody I know intimately, whom I converse with often, and could describe well. I know my friend's likes, dislikes, and much of their past. Buddy, I use interchangeably with acquaintance. Anybody can be my buddy. I would say I have plenty of buddies, but only a handful of true friends.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

If you have to ask yourself if someone is a friend or buddy then they are neither.

 

[2jakes]

I consider friends as those who helped me carry the heavy
load in all kinds of situations.

Never asking, what's in it for me
or passing judgement.

 

[GHT]

I would say I have plenty of buddies, but only a handful of true friends.

A handful eh?

 

[Nobert]

 

[tonyb]

It's unrealistic, and selfish, to expect more from any relationship than one is willing to give.

However, I accept that some people are needier than others, and that my relationships with such people will be somewhat one-sided. It's entirely up to me whether such relationships continue.

I am mindful that all relationships of any duration to speak of go through their changes. People aren't always the best they can be. Nor the worst.

What I do expect from a friendship, though, is honesty. A little sugarcoating of unusually large and bitter pills might be in order, but sometimes there's no escaping that the medicine ought be administered. This is not to say that I would end friendships with people who engage in behaviors to which I take exception (it's their life to ruin, after all), but I won't pretend that I don't find certain of their ways objectionable, as they may find certain of mine.

 

[green papaya]

a friend is someone you can trust like a brother, a buddy is more like a casual "acquaintance" maybe like a co worker or somebody that you have regular contact with but they are not really your friends, they may even betray you, not really someone you can trust like a brother or relative, they are the type of people that try to use you or borrow something and dont return it, even borrow money and move away without ever repaying you, these types were never your true friends, just acquaintances.

a true friend stays around even during the bad times or when the going gets tough, the casual buddy types are only your friend for convenience , if something tragic ever happens they quicky disappear or make excuses and dont stick around.

example: a buddy owes you $500 that he borrowed from you, he will not stay around when it comes time to pay you back, he will be nowhere to be found, then he will make up some lame excuse and keep delaying paying the money, and eventually end the friendship you thought you had, because they were never really your real friends to begin with.

 

[Lean'n'mean]

they are the type of people that try to use you or borrow something and dont return it, even borrow money and move away without ever repaying you, .

example: a buddy owes you $500 that he borrowed from you, he will not stay around when it comes time to pay you back, he will be nowhere to be found, then he will make up some lame excuse and keep delaying paying the money,

So how much money have you lost ?.

 

[SurfGent]

 

[Lean'n'mean]

" If you commit a murder , a buddy may provide you with an alibi but a friend will help you dispose of the corpse "

 

[Bushman]

" If you commit a murder , a buddy may provide you with an alibi but a friend will help you dispose of the corpse "

My favorite variation of this phrase is that a buddy will bail you out of jail, but a friend will be sitting right there in the cell with you.

 

[2jakes]

The differences between (real) “friends” and “buddies”.

 

[tonyb]

I, like most everyone else, have seen friends shuffle off this mortal coil -- close friends, casual acquaintances, a couple of old girlfriends. Et cetera.

The significance of those relationships is sometimes better gauged in retrospect. Some who were relatively peripheral characters in my life (and vice-versa) now occupy a more prominent place in my consciousness than those with whom I was in more frequent and closer contact.

Sometimes, you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.

 

[tonyb]

I shall always remember a sign posted near the cue stick rack at the Storeroom Tavern ...

Never trust a man who speaks kindly of everyone.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Walter Winchell signed off a broadcast in 1941 with a line I've never forgotten: "A real friend is the one who walks in -- when the rest of the world walks out."

 

[Trenchfriend]

From a nice german Schlager-song, but doesn't rhyme in English:

"Friends, you will find deep down,
where people are, with the same wounds.
Where you will be understand,
when it goes downwards, once."