Outgoing Message for Voice Mail

[Paisley]

Do you have a unique outgoing message? How about ideas for vintage messages?

If just your friends call you (i.e., you're not job hunting or running a home business), you could say, "This is [your name] at Sunset 5-1000."

 

[scotrace]

I like this:

"Hi! You've reached 555-5555.

Why?"

 

[dhermann1]

I used to have Lionel Hampton's Flying Home playing, and me sort of singing "We're not home (yada yada yada yada), We're not home (yada yada yada yada), We're not home (yada yada yada yada), But leave us a message . . . "

 

[carter]

"Hello, you've reached the __________ residence. We're not answering our phone right now. No, that doesn't mean we're not at home. We're just not answering the phone. If you must, please leave a message. We may or may not return your call. Have a nice day."

 

[jamespowers]

"Hello, you've reached the __________ residence. We're not answering our phone right now. No, that doesn't mean we're not at home. We're just not answering the phone. If you must, please leave a message. We may or may not return your call. Have a nice day."

Sounds like mine---except with a canned voice saying the text.

 

[Kassia]

Ours says,
You've reached K & M, we might be in, we might be out. Leave us a message and you'll find out...

 

[CaddyKid21]

Nothing special about mine, but my moms is funny. "Hi its Lissa, im shoe shopping, leave me a message".

 

[carter]

Sounds like mine---except with a canned voice saying the text.

In a day and age when B&E thieves sometimes call to see if the resident is home, it's always a good idea to keep 'em guessing.

 

[MadelienneBlack]

Mine used to be "Hel-lo you have reached my phone but I'm not here so leave a message" sung to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. Lame, I know.

 

[jamespowers]

In a day and age when B&E thieves sometimes call to see if the resident is home, it's always a good idea to keep 'em guessing.

How about:
""Hello, you've reached the __________ residence. We're not answering our phone right now. No, that doesn't mean we're not at home. We're just not answering the phone. We could be cleaning our shotguns, rifles or handguns. Or we could be in the basement shooting range getting a little target practice in. If you must, please leave a message. If you are thief calling to see if we are home, we have one question for you. Do you feel lucky punk? Have a nice day."

 

[carter]

Harry Callahan in the 21st Century

lol lol lol

I believe that sends a subtle, well maybe not so subtle,... thinly veiled (?), nope,... correct message. The iron fist within the velvet glove of answering protocol. :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

How about:
""Hello, you've reached the __________ residence. We're not answering our phone right now. No, that doesn't mean we're not at home. We're just not answering the phone. We could be cleaning our shotguns, rifles or handguns. Or we could be in the basement shooting range getting a little target practice in. If you must, please leave a message. If you are thief calling to see if we are home, we have one question for you. Do you feel lucky punk? Have a nice day."

 

[Paisley]

This turned violent pretty quickly.

 

[BegintheBeguine]

Since I have my own business I paraphrased mine from the opening of The Rockford Files TV show, except I don't say a last name since I use two different ones.

 

[DerMann]

Good god, the last time I changed my voice mail message was when I first became enthralled with Jeeves and Wooster (and recorded it around 3:00AM...)

It should go something like this:

"Good day to you, sir or madam, you have reached the mobile telephone of Joshua Koch. I am terribly sorry, but I cannot answer at the moment, so please leave a message and I will attempt to return it as quick as possible. Thank you."

My friends laugh when they here it, and my mom couldn't believe it was me saying it (apparently it has some sort of accent to it).

 

[59Lark]

theme music for answering machines.

Paisley; i have heard them all, boris karloff , tell them boris sent you, to mission impossible music, were out saving the world please call back, to we are beating the children right now please call back, the screaming and chains dropping in the back ground really added, the death march and such really adds a lot. people have gotten lazy or such and i dont hear these funny messages like about two years ago. But this forum has encourage to when time permits to do something tastefull non violent but unique. KNOWING HALLOWEEN is just around the corner, weird spooky music , sounds of shoveling cant come to the phone am digging a tomb in the cellar for that pesky door to door salesman, how about telemarketer. 59Larkfftopic:

 

[Geesie]

My favorite is one I heard on a teacher's machine about a decade ago:

"Hi, you've reached ______. I'm probably home but I'm avoiding someone. Leave a message and if I don't call back, it's you."

 

[Diamondback]

In my most abrupt, tough-guy voice:
"You've reached (number). State your business."

Not all that unlike how I answer the phone myself at times...lol

 

[carter]

Ode to a bucolic lifestyle

In an effort not to hijack Paisley's thread with masculine bravado or too much reality, I offer this from my childhood on a farm in Virgina's Shenandoah Valley:

Hello, you've reached the Carter farm. We are unable to answer the phone as Kitty is taking the laundry down from the clothesline, Jack is in the milkhouse, Jean is cooking dinner, Dick is working on the Packard, Mary Jane is giving the kids a bath, and Terry is cleaning some fish. Don't forget the Pancake Supper at the church this weekend. We'll see you there. Oh, leave a message if you wish. We may find time to call you back.

The events were typical but, of course, this couldn't really have happened. We were on a party line. Our ring was two longs and a short.

 

[Minerva]

How about:
""Hello, you've reached the __________ residence. We're not answering our phone right now. No, that doesn't mean we're not at home. We're just not answering the phone. We could be cleaning our shotguns, rifles or handguns. Or we could be in the basement shooting range getting a little target practice in. If you must, please leave a message. If you are thief calling to see if we are home, we have one question for you. Do you feel lucky punk? Have a nice day."

:eusa_clap Nice. Considering the state of the in-house arsenal, it's probably appropriate here. I think I'll change the message tomorrow ....

 

[ShoreRoadLady]

The History of Answering Machines

According to this timeline, the first answering machine sold in the U.S. was in 1960. Voicemail didn't come along till later.

I like using my cell phone's automatic response; it's quick and saves me from re-recording a message 5 times to make it perfect. Otherwise it's, "Hello, you've reached (number), please leave your name and number after the beep and we'll get back to you," or some such. I appreciate creativity, but I hate hitting long (or noisy!) answering machine messages, so I like to keep it short & sweet.

Nothing special about mine, but my moms is funny. "Hi its Lissa, im shoe shopping, leave me a message".

Love it! lol