On Respect vs Love in Gentlemen...

[philosophygirl78]

Thinking about communication between men and women, and how so often there are misunderstandings, I have wondered if men value being respected over being loved in romantic relationships?

We women want, crave to be wanted, loved, treasured... I am not sure men see it the same way... If we consider how society defines a gentleman, there are certain parameters that are 'requirements' for lack of a better word and at the forefront is in fact Respect, a type of control.

What do you guys think they prefer?

 

[St. Louis]

I don't think it's possible to generalize about what men want, versus what women want. I suppose any relationship requires basic respect and kindness in order to work. Certainly love is important to all human beings, no matter the gender or age. Wouldn't you agree?

I should also say that I positively I do not crave being wanted or treasured. I guess I don't really crave for anything from other people; it's just too complicated to expect that much from anyone. I feel it's more important to meet other people halfway and be decent, honest, and kind to them. The rest usually falls in place if there's genuine respect and love on both sides. What do you think about that?

 

[philosophygirl78]

I don't think it's possible to generalize about what men want, versus what women want. I suppose any relationship requires basic respect and kindness in order to work. Certainly love is important to all human beings, no matter the gender or age. Wouldn't you agree?

I should also say that I positively I do not crave being wanted or treasured. I guess I don't really crave for anything from other people; it's just too complicated to expect that much from anyone. I feel it's more important to meet other people halfway and be decent, honest, and kind to them. The rest usually falls in place if there's genuine respect and love on both sides. What do you think about that?

I understand what you are saying, and in the ideal world, people would react in such ways. I was speaking more from a psychological or anthropological perspective. We may have the best intentions, the best reactions when we are at our best or in the beginning of relationships, but I think something changes when feelings become involved... It is in those moments that people 'change' so to speak and all those good intentions and 'how one will act in a relationship' go out the window... As someone who was married for 15 years, I do most certainly understand that after a while, the mutual respect and kindness is essential to making it work..

My thread was more aimed at understanding those initial 'complicated' times from the perspective of men.