I love The Fedora Lounge. It's a daily visit for me, now, and I genuinely enjoy conversing with people on here. It's one of the few places left on the Internet where literacy, clear dialogue, and courtesy are encouraged, sometimes to the point of being mandatory, and that's fine with me. What I've found, though, is that this breeds a bit of a "fluff" in the dialogue, and while that's well and good, sometimes meaning gets lost or intentionally circumvented along the way due to fear of offense.
There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism, but I rarely see it. I personally would love to see more! When I post a photograph of myself wearing a newly-acquired hat, it's not because I'm fishing for compliments (and I think I can speak for most people when I say that... I think!). I'm looking for criticism. If it looks disproportionate, odd, unfit, inappropriate, or just plain bad, I sincerely want to be told that. Just because a hat is exceptionally handsome doesn't automatically mean that it makes the person wearing it handsome. "Beautiful hat!" and "That hat looks great on you!" mean two completely different things. And if the hat looks great? By all means, rain down the praise! Haha. Let's not be shy; we all know we love it. But only if it's true. If it's not, it's misleading and breeds further purchases for hats that we probably shouldn't be attempting to pull off.
What I end up seeing, between the lines, is people biting their tongues in responses to threads where opinions are requested. Sometimes, the bush is beat around. Not once have I ever seen a response that said "You know, that hat actually doesn't work on you at all, because [...] so instead, you should try [...]" We all know that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, and that's one of many good mantras to live by. What about being constructively critical, though? However, what you'll often see are replies along the lines of "You should try a wider brim and a higher crown and a bigger size and a different color altogether, but the hat looks GREAT on you! :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap" I'm exaggerating, of course, but I don't think this helps the wearer!
I'll reflect back a bit -- just over two years ago, I acquired my first vintage hat, a velour Stetson Charger from the 70's. Very stingy brim, braided band. I posted a photograph of me wearing it (the photograph is long gone, sorry) and the compliments poured in, and while I absolutely appreciated it, I was definitely being humored with the best of intentions, because it just looked awful. Haha. I mean, seriously, I just looked totally ridiculous and had no business stepping foot outside with that thing on my head... but The Fedora Lounge community was the experts and they said I looked great, so I thought it was just me having to adjust to the hat. No. The hat was ugly on me, and I was ugly in the hat.
This post also counts as constructive criticism, too, I suppose, as it's also directed at me -- I am guilty of the above at times. So, I'm going to make a vow to myself; when I see somebody post a picture of themselves wearing a hat and I think it looks fantastic, I'm going to say so. If it doesn't look fantastic, I'm going to offer suggestions. I'm not going to be impolite, abrasive, offensive, or cruel. There is no place for that here. I also make no assertions that I'm some sort of licensed hat-wearing judge (we all know who the experts are), just that I'll offer my own opinion earnestly, as long as the poster is asking for opinions.
This is with the understanding, too, that a full-body photograph isn't exactly everything you need to decide whether or not a hat works for somebody. So does their demeanor, their attitude, their gait, their posture, their height, their weight, their skin tone, and their general way of life. Unfortunately, there isn't yet an invention to reflect these qualities online (at least not accurately!), so we'll have to make do.
Above and beyond anything, though, by being part of the more learned community in the field of hat-wearing, I would say that it's actually our duty and responsibility to make alternate suggestions when appropriate and when asked. After all, if we don't, who will?
So am I the black sheep, or are my sentiments shared by some? I'm okay with being the former, so long as everyone knows that this post isn't intended to stir anything up, ruffle feathers, or go against the grain just for the sake of going against the grain... just to communicate ideas, that's all. I honestly think that constructive criticism, being given while bearing in mind that some skin is thinner than others, will improve the confidence of the wearer rather than damage it. As long as we're being asked, it's our role!
I like you all, so sometimes my mouth runs.
There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism, but I rarely see it. I personally would love to see more! When I post a photograph of myself wearing a newly-acquired hat, it's not because I'm fishing for compliments (and I think I can speak for most people when I say that... I think!). I'm looking for criticism. If it looks disproportionate, odd, unfit, inappropriate, or just plain bad, I sincerely want to be told that. Just because a hat is exceptionally handsome doesn't automatically mean that it makes the person wearing it handsome. "Beautiful hat!" and "That hat looks great on you!" mean two completely different things. And if the hat looks great? By all means, rain down the praise! Haha. Let's not be shy; we all know we love it. But only if it's true. If it's not, it's misleading and breeds further purchases for hats that we probably shouldn't be attempting to pull off.
What I end up seeing, between the lines, is people biting their tongues in responses to threads where opinions are requested. Sometimes, the bush is beat around. Not once have I ever seen a response that said "You know, that hat actually doesn't work on you at all, because [...] so instead, you should try [...]" We all know that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, and that's one of many good mantras to live by. What about being constructively critical, though? However, what you'll often see are replies along the lines of "You should try a wider brim and a higher crown and a bigger size and a different color altogether, but the hat looks GREAT on you! :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap" I'm exaggerating, of course, but I don't think this helps the wearer!
I'll reflect back a bit -- just over two years ago, I acquired my first vintage hat, a velour Stetson Charger from the 70's. Very stingy brim, braided band. I posted a photograph of me wearing it (the photograph is long gone, sorry) and the compliments poured in, and while I absolutely appreciated it, I was definitely being humored with the best of intentions, because it just looked awful. Haha. I mean, seriously, I just looked totally ridiculous and had no business stepping foot outside with that thing on my head... but The Fedora Lounge community was the experts and they said I looked great, so I thought it was just me having to adjust to the hat. No. The hat was ugly on me, and I was ugly in the hat.
This post also counts as constructive criticism, too, I suppose, as it's also directed at me -- I am guilty of the above at times. So, I'm going to make a vow to myself; when I see somebody post a picture of themselves wearing a hat and I think it looks fantastic, I'm going to say so. If it doesn't look fantastic, I'm going to offer suggestions. I'm not going to be impolite, abrasive, offensive, or cruel. There is no place for that here. I also make no assertions that I'm some sort of licensed hat-wearing judge (we all know who the experts are), just that I'll offer my own opinion earnestly, as long as the poster is asking for opinions.
This is with the understanding, too, that a full-body photograph isn't exactly everything you need to decide whether or not a hat works for somebody. So does their demeanor, their attitude, their gait, their posture, their height, their weight, their skin tone, and their general way of life. Unfortunately, there isn't yet an invention to reflect these qualities online (at least not accurately!), so we'll have to make do.
Above and beyond anything, though, by being part of the more learned community in the field of hat-wearing, I would say that it's actually our duty and responsibility to make alternate suggestions when appropriate and when asked. After all, if we don't, who will?
So am I the black sheep, or are my sentiments shared by some? I'm okay with being the former, so long as everyone knows that this post isn't intended to stir anything up, ruffle feathers, or go against the grain just for the sake of going against the grain... just to communicate ideas, that's all. I honestly think that constructive criticism, being given while bearing in mind that some skin is thinner than others, will improve the confidence of the wearer rather than damage it. As long as we're being asked, it's our role!
I like you all, so sometimes my mouth runs.
