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Old Smells that Make Your Nose Wrinkle

Messages
17,190
Location
New York City
We used to have a customer here we called "Santy Claus," because he was a heavy old man with a big white beard, and he had the most nostril-curdling case of BO I've ever encountered. He wore greasy, dirty clothes, and would spend a long time in our upstairs restroom to the point where I had to block the door open overnight after he'd been there to roust the funk out. We all figured he was homeless, and we took pity on him and never tried to interfere with him or discourage him from coming to a show now and then if he had the money to buy a ticket.

And then one day I saw him in a high-end burger restaurant down the street eating a $15 hamburger while looking at what appeared to be a stock portfolio on his Iphone. He wasn't homeless at all, or even poor -- he just didn't care what he smelled like.

I believe Mao had the same approach to hygiene. Hence, you never know.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,715
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
Of course, the opposite extreme can be just as obnoxious -- a person, in close quarters, who has anointed himself or herself to the full with scented soaps, deodorants, shampoos, colognes, and perfumes can be so utterly overwhelming as to make one yearn for the simplicity of an honest sweaty armpit. There's one particular woman who comes to the theatre who seems to fully immerse herself in some kind of pine-scented preparation that reminds me of the night the turpentine warehouse caught fire. You can smell her coming down the street five minutes before she arrives at the door, and it's like a pulp truck just pulled in.

"Scented" laundry soaps and detergents, fabric softeners, and dryer sheets are also something I could do with out. If you want your clothes to smell like a "spring breeze" hang them on a clothesline, because the Better Living Thru Chemistry approximation of a spring breeze is cloying, overbearing, and obviously artificial. The only good use I've ever found for a dryer sheet is to shove them under the back seat of the Plodge in the wintertime to keep the mice away.
 
Messages
17,190
Location
New York City
Of course, the opposite extreme can be just as obnoxious -- a person, in close quarters, who has anointed himself or herself to the full with scented soaps, deodorants, shampoos, colognes, and perfumes can be so utterly overwhelming as to make one yearn for the simplicity of an honest sweaty armpit. There's one particular woman who comes to the theatre who seems to fully immerse herself in some kind of pine-scented preparation that reminds me of the night the turpentine warehouse caught fire. You can smell her coming down the street five minutes before she arrives at the door, and it's like a pulp truck just pulled in.

"Scented" laundry soaps and detergents, fabric softeners, and dryer sheets are also something I could do with out. If you want your clothes to smell like a "spring breeze" hang them on a clothesline, because the Better Living Thru Chemistry approximation of a spring breeze is cloying, overbearing, and obviously artificial. The only good use I've ever found for a dryer sheet is to shove them under the back seat of the Plodge in the wintertime to keep the mice away.

We buy just about everything we can in its unscented version, but sometimes that option doesn't exist so we go for the mildest scent possible in those cases. By the time you shower (soap, shampoo, conditioner), dry up (deodorant, plus maybe talc or moisturizer), dry your hair (maybe a touch of gel or spray or something), brush your teeth (toothpaste and mouthwash), put on your clothes (laundry detergent) you could have seven or more competing scents. It's crazy.
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,392
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
The smell of humanity, in closed places like the metro or small rooms and the such.

Spencer Tunick photographs large numbers of gathered naked people. One of the participants wrote afterward that he was unprepared for the unexpected smell of hundreds of naked bodies all together. Primates stink. If you have any doubts, go spend time near a gorilla in the open air. They smell like you after a few showerless days.

On that note, the smell of the Amish everywhere around here. Old sweaty clothes and B.O.

Car folk will know what I mean about the bad smell of rear end dope.
 
Messages
13,460
Location
Orange County, CA
Of course, the opposite extreme can be just as obnoxious -- a person, in close quarters, who has anointed himself or herself to the full with scented soaps, deodorants, shampoos, colognes, and perfumes can be so utterly overwhelming as to make one yearn for the simplicity of an honest sweaty armpit. There's one particular woman who comes to the theatre who seems to fully immerse herself in some kind of pine-scented preparation that reminds me of the night the turpentine warehouse caught fire. You can smell her coming down the street five minutes before she arrives at the door, and it's like a pulp truck just pulled in.

Then you have the folks who consider liberal application of perfume or cologne as an alternative to bathing. No, the cloying scent merely sits on top of the body odor, it doesn't eliminate it.
 
Messages
17,190
Location
New York City
Then you have the folks who consider liberal application of perfume or cologne as an alternative to bathing. No, the cloying scent merely sits on top of the body odor, it doesn't eliminate it.

Just another example of the rule that there are no shortcuts. If anything - that makes it worse as the cologne creates a bigger cloud of a now aggressively cloying stink. Here's the answer, join us in the 21st Century and bath regularly*.

* I am not referencing the unfortunate homeless and others in desperate situations - my heart goes out to them. But for the rest of us - it's not that hard, bath regularly.
 
Messages
17,190
Location
New York City
Add the reeking stench of tobacco to the aroma of too much cologne and too little bathing and you've got the recipe for the ultimate bouquet -- of skunk cabbage.

Just by itself, stale tobacco on someone (clothes, hair, etc.) is brutal in close quarters like and elevator or car. And when it's from cigars, it's just another level of offensive. The world has changed and smelling of smoke is just an outlier today - somewhat acceptable back in its day, but now it stands out in a bad way.
 

HadleyH1

One Too Many
Messages
1,240
Spencer Tunick photographs large numbers of gathered naked people. One of the participants wrote afterward that he was unprepared for the unexpected smell of hundreds of naked bodies all together. Primates stink. If you have any doubts, go spend time near a gorilla in the open air. They smell like you after a few showerless days.

On that note, the smell of the Amish everywhere around here. Old sweaty clothes and B.O.

Car folk will know what I mean about the bad smell of rear end dope.


wow! one can only ponder (big* sigh* inserted here :p)

....one can only ponder on those Spencer Tunick human oceans of naked humanity.....my goodness me ....LOL....I'm sure that primates smell like roses in comparison! :D bwahahaaaaa
 

2jakes

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
QUOTE.png

The smell of new olive-drab military fatigues my cousin was wearing when he left for duty
during the Korean War when I was a kid.
Years later, the same odor from my fatigues during the Vietnam conflict when I was 19.
And more recently when I went to an Army & Navy Surplus store to buy some camping gear.

Some smells stay with you whether you like it or not! ;)
 

Bugguy

Practically Family
Messages
570
Location
Nashville, TN
The old Chicago Stock Yards when the wind blew from the South

The purple Gestetner mimeograph fluid from my early teaching days.
 

ChiTownScion

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,247
Location
The Great Pacific Northwest
Urine, vomit.

Are not favorite scents of mine.

That brings to mind an observation not so much as to smells, but images.

My wife is a pediatric nurse practitioner: a primary care giver with a fairly large suburban practice of docs and other NPs. Until the regs were changed to prevent this sort of thing, she and the other members of her practice frequently were invited to attend continuing medical ed programs that were sponsored by drug company reps. They- and we significant others who were allowed to tag along- often were treated to a theatrical production (Les Mis, Phantom of the Opera) and/ or a fine dinner, the "cost" being that we had to listen to a presentation on a topic of pediatric medicine, usually about half an hour.

Given that it always involved kids, the presentations almost always involved discussions (and often illustrations) of various incarnations of poop, snot, or vomit. When you're trying to enjoy a fine meal, that can be a real downer. The medical people were used to it, of course: to them it was only shop talk. The rest of us... not so much. Funniest episode involved a maître d at a Michelin 3 star French cuisine venue going up to the speaker and asking him to lower the volume because other diners were complaining.

These percs for folks in pediatrics were relatively modest: practitioners in other specialties were feted with trips to Disney World or Hawaii, cruises, etc. As I said, this sort of thing is now verboten. It was felt that Lizzie's pals, "the Boys," might be exercising undue influence.
 

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