New Generation Brims With Anxiety Over Hat Etiquette

[Panda Moanium]

Rules follow:

Remove during the following:



6) In ANY house of worship for ANY reason

Had a bit of a dilemma on Sunday last - was at a church service at a graveyard (not a funeral), open air, warm sunny day. Was wearing my panama. Now obviously would take a hat off indoors but in this situation? Anyway, I did remove it for the duration - and got my head sunburned for my troubles. Did notice though that the few other hat wearers in the crowd (baseball caps and the odd outback style hat) kept theirs on throughout.

What would you have done in that situation? It did bug me that I got sunburned through trying to do the right thing.

 

[1961MJS]

Hi

I wear hats primarily for sun protection. It's hot here in Kansas. I think you should have left it on. God doesn't want your ear's burnt and you're NOT in a house of worship.

I've purchased quite a few hats this summer, but I find I don't wear them everywhere. Based on the whole taking the hat off inside RULE, I find it's not worth the trouble to put one on for 25 yards between the car and the front door at work when I'll have to carry it when I get inside. The whole restaurant thing is worse, at least at work I have somewhere to put the hat when I take it off (my desk). The only alternative to wearing a hat in a Wichita Restaurant is to hold it or hang it off your knee. I'm pretty good with spilling anything on my shirts much less a hat. You would only hang your hat up once around here before it was stolen, especially non-cowboy hats. We have Shepler's western wear and Hatman Jack's so you'd think that this area would be more "hat friendly".

Later

 

[CircuitRider]

The last few funerals I attended or officiated were in cold weather. I and my pastor friend who always wears a hat...would wear it, but take it off when we approached the grave-site area.

 

[Bustercat]

If there's any rule of hat etiquette I'd like to see come back, it's the one that instructs every man on the street to take his lid off when a funeral procession comes by.

Imagine what it must feel like for a widow, or a bereaved child to see the whole world around them acknowledge their loss with that simple gesture. I'd venture it means more than that "my condolences, I'm sorry for your loss" that strangers feel they need to blurt out hurriedly if the topic happens to come up in conversation.

 

[Pompidou]

I'm not sure any rules of etiquette should make a comeback if the comeback is artificial. The only thing worse than no etiquette is false etiquette. When you're following rules because they're rules, and not because you feel the sentiment the rules are supposed to convey, it doesn't make you a better person, it just makes you kind of fake. I mean, I eat with a knife and fork because I don't want to get my hands dirty. I don't like being dirty. I dress modestly because I'm shy/modest. I follow many rules because I want others to follow them with me - like not being loud when people are sleeping, or chewing with my mouth closed. Some rules are pretty important.

I'm not sure all rules are, though. Tipping a hat for example, is a show of respect, but there are lots of ways to show respect, and if you're going to show respect, you should do so in your own way, so that it has meaning. I'd hate to see everyone walking around tipping hats, and everyone else thinking everyone else is so respectful and considerate, when in reality, they're just trying not to stand out. If respect requires effort, it means more. If some people tip hats because it's how they show respect, that's perfect, because it's what's natural for them. Personally, I seem to have adopted the nod/mini bow sort of thing for acknowledging people. When it comes to etiquette, we should abandon the etiquette books and strive for originality, so that the only respect we give/get is the respect that we believe is right to give/get, and we don't have everyone performing like robots to fit in and not have high society talking about them.

 

[metropd]

The Far Majority of men kept their hats on inside in the Golden Era. It was only bad manner to keep it on if it was an intimate setting, Fine dining, house room, courtroom. I have many relatives who are in their 90's and early 100's who have told me this. After seeing many pictures of the majority of men inside movie theaters, diners, shops wearing hats even seated. You never have to take your hat off inside a store or commercial space, unless you are meeting a lady for the first time.

 

[Bustercat]

Well, one thing is clear: hat wearers have never had it easier.
When they practice good ettiquette, it's appreciated more than in the past because it stands out. If they don't practice it, it doesn't offend like it used to because keeping a hat on is the norm in so many places.
What more could you ask for?

 

[danofarlington]

I'm not sure any rules of etiquette should make a comeback if the comeback is artificial. The only thing worse than no etiquette is false etiquette. When you're following rules because they're rules, and not because you feel the sentiment the rules are supposed to convey, it doesn't make you a better person, it just makes you kind of fake.

I'm on board with that. I like to do things 2010-wise, not trying to hark back to the 19th Century with a bunch of mannerisms in vogue then but not now. Others can act however they want, but apart from taking the hat off sometimes when it seems logical or natural, I don't go for the gentleman-of-old syndrome.