My Search for a Mate is Confined to my Sock Drawer

[cookie]

only to later throw the engagement ring
into the Aegean Sea at Piraeus.

They pick up statues out of the Aegean from ancient times...who knows where that ring will end up?

 

[avedwards]

Humor? Saying things that can be taken a couple of different ways? Or is that being too subtle? And what's wrong with going at a glacial pace? There's this guy on the bus. Over the past four months, we've exchanged glances. Within the next year, we might say hello.

If you want to find someone while you're still young, I suggest you get advice from someone besides me.

I am still young, but I've found that advice given to me is best ignored. It's worked so far. What I just mean is that I'm not subtle, if I like someone I tell them so quite plainly. Which in the past has caused awkwardness but was also what happened when I met my mol.

 

[Harp]

They pick up statues out of the Aegean from ancient times...who knows where that ring will end up?

I always assumed Poseidon's daughter, Herophile found it.

 

[reetpleat]

Just to bump an interesting thread with my two cents.

guys that do not understand why women go for jerks do not understand a simple fact. Women, as smart as they are, do not base their relationship decisions on a rational decision. No one does. We base it on how we feel or how the person makes us feel. Attraction is not rational.

So, what the jerks have figured out is that being a jerk, especially with younger women, will trigger attraction because it seems to display confidence and strength. being a nice guy does not trigger attraction because it comes across as week and needy.

Fortunately, there are other ways to trigger this attraction. being confident, speaking loudy and confidently, being fun and interesting, a little teasing, not always saying or doing what she wants (avoid buying her a drink unless she is already into you) pushing her away (figuratively) then pulling her back in. Leading her to multiple locations around a bar, or multiple bars, coffee shop, whatever) Ignoring occasionally then giving attention and approval. touching (always calibrated and made sure it is not unwelcome) and being forward. Last night I parked my car in the middle of the street, ran up to woman ( I usually would only do this in daytime as night might be scary, but she was really cute) and chatter her up for five minutes, leaving with her phone number, and winning over her friends with your confident outgoing personality. (got another number from a girl at a bachelorette party)

I have been going outside of my comfort zone and having very pleasing results.

You do NOT have to be a jerk to meet women and create attraction. but you can not be a passive aggressive, whimpy, needy nice guy.

Just a little advice from the "pick up" community.

 

[reetpleat]

Your post, among a few others I've just noticed here, inspires me to offer a small bit of advice if I may.
I too have bewailed the "success" of the archetypal jerk far too often.
It did me no good.
I discovered however "the secret" of the jerks. It was stated in this thread a few times too already. It is simply this, the jerks succeed with women because they have what is perceived as confidence. Whether it is false confidence or real based on real character in the individual seems to be of no consequence. Women are almost invariably attracted by what they perceive as confidence.
They are more romantically attracted to the devil-may-care type that acts a bit "differently" than the guys that do fumble around and attempt to "hit" on them usually on a daily basis.
Think about it, an attractive woman will probably be approached many times on a given day by all kinds of random guys. Guys that offer to buy her a drink, take her out, etc. "Nice" guys that are just simply tiresome to them as they tend to do the same old things, say the same old things, in an attempt to get something from them.
So in short, the key is be different, to do the unexpected, not to be a "jerk" in the strictest sense of the term as you define it,...but to merely be a bit different. Bust on her a little, joke around, don't despair of her attention at all, act as if you don't care so much whether she likes you or not,...turn the situation around, kid her about how she will be stalking you like all the other girls do,lol .... above all, be funny. Everyone wants to be with someone that makes them feel good, and laughter feels good. Forget the romantic notions you believed in all your life, and try a different approach.
Think about it,..if you were a woman, and you were approached by the same old type all day every day, it would get tiresome.
I think the single most important point for anyone that is seeking, is to simply stop despairing, stop worrying, stop caring so much, because the harder we search for something, it becomes much more difficult to find that which we seek.

Very well said, mjr.

Could it be that you are a "friend of ours"?