Modern Male Identity Crisis

[jamespowers]

True, and I'm working on the whole social thing. Haven't quite got it figured out. I find I have little patience for people who can't actually say what they mean.

I do as well but that is just me. I have less patience for the stupid though.

 

[Dan Rodemsky]

I'm 56. Lost my dad this year. I remember when he was my age he told me that he didn't really feel like a different person. The same guy with most of the same feelings. He said he looked older than he felt. I know that feeling! Buying a house was the step into adulthood for me. Mortgage and responsibilities to the end of my life. This morning my employer filed for bankruptcy. Will I keep my Job? House? Who knows? At least the motorcycle is paid for.

 

[jamespowers]

I'm 56. Lost my dad this year. I remember when he was my age he told me that he didn't really feel like a different person. The same guy with most of the same feelings. He said he looked older than he felt. I know that feeling! Buying a house was the step into adulthood for me. Mortgage and responsibilities to the end of my life. This morning my employer filed for bankruptcy. Will I keep my Job? House? Who knows? At least the motorcycle is paid for.

Holy Crimony! Too many bad things to happen to a person in one year. I hope everything works out for you.

 

[Connery]

I'm 56. Lost my dad this year. I remember when he was my age he told me that he didn't really feel like a different person. The same guy with most of the same feelings. He said he looked older than he felt. I know that feeling! Buying a house was the step into adulthood for me. Mortgage and responsibilities to the end of my life. This morning my employer filed for bankruptcy. Will I keep my Job? House? Who knows? At least the motorcycle is paid for.

Dan, I hope the new year brings you new hope and better fortune.

 

[djd]

Good luck Dan. It's tough times for sure

 

[sheeplady]

I just think today gender roles have become rather blurred, which doesn't make it easy for a lot of men, one the one hand you're supposed to be hunter gatherer, the other, in touch with your feelings, a bit metro-sexual, etc, etc...confusing...

Then, I wonder, why don't women have the same problems? I mean, technically, the men are taking some of our traditional roles away. The only thing I see near to a identity crisis for women is the whole "middle class mother/work balance" issue, which isn't an identity crisis- it's more of a role conflict.

Could it be that women, as a gender, have had more historical time to take up blurred gender duties and therefore it's not as threatening to the female gender? Is it just that these expectations are newer for men and therefore it has created the issue and blurred the boundaries?


ETA: Dan, I'm sorry to hear your bad news. You are in my thoughts.

 

[rue]

Actually I do have a problem with it. I don't like men to do the laundry or other household chores and I want them out of my kitchen unless it's my birthday or Mother's day.




I'm sorry too Dan. I also hope the new year brings you joy and happiness.

 

[sheeplady]

Actually I do have a problem with it. I don't like men to do the laundry or other household chores and I want them out of my kitchen unless it's my birthday or Mother's day.

What I am getting at, though, is that you don't see articles in the press every other week about women having an identity crisis. What is it that makes the male identity crisis so apparent and the female identity crisis less so?

 

[Dan Rodemsky]

Thanks. It has got be better. If I didn't cook my kids would starve. If I didn't do laundry I would have to go to work naked!

 

[jamespowers]

What I am getting at, though, is that you don't see articles in the press every other week about women having an identity crisis. What is it that makes the male identity crisis so apparent and the female identity crisis less so?

Women have the same thing but you just don't hear about it in the mediums you mentioned because it is not PC to put those things out about women. I can just hear NOW going rabid now.....lol lol lol

 

[rue]

What I am getting at, though, is that you don't see articles in the press every other week about women having an identity crisis. What is it that makes the male identity crisis so apparent and the female identity crisis less so?

I think, because like my sister-in-law that doesn't work and has to have "help" they're just lazy and don't want to raise a ruckus [huh]

Thanks. It has got be better. If I didn't cook my kids would starve. If I didn't do laundry I would have to go to work naked!

I'm just talking about me Dan

 

[AtomicEraTom]

So sorry to hear all this awful news has been put on you. I sure hope things get better.

I'm 56. Lost my dad this year. I remember when he was my age he told me that he didn't really feel like a different person. The same guy with most of the same feelings. He said he looked older than he felt. I know that feeling! Buying a house was the step into adulthood for me. Mortgage and responsibilities to the end of my life. This morning my employer filed for bankruptcy. Will I keep my Job? House? Who knows? At least the motorcycle is paid for.

Wanna come do my ironing for me then. I just spent an hour on that chore! Then made supper, lunch for tomorrow, and did dishes!

Actually I do have a problem with it. I don't like men to do the laundry or other household chores and I want them out of my kitchen unless it's my birthday or Mother's day.




I'm sorry too Dan. I also hope the new year brings you joy and happiness.

Justin mentioned having adulthood put upon him at a young age. My childhood was the same way. We lived on a farm and my parents needed my help, especially after my dad got hurt on the jobsite, and Mom had to go back to work in the factory. I did whatever I could to help and when my dad started his own business up, when I was about six, I was taught all about running a business and all the work and responsibility involved, from that age on up. Hope all that learning pays off someday!

 

[Connery]

Hope all that learning pays off someday!

Rest assured Tom it does. You appear to be a very nice, personable and responsible man. The payoff has already begun.

 

[Edward]

Well said, some of the most sage advice i have received in my formative years has been from those who hadn't procreated for whatever reason.

I just think today gender roles have become rather blurred, which doesn't make it easy for a lot of men, one the one hand you're supposed to be hunter gatherer, the other, in touch with your feelings, a bit metro-sexual, etc, etc...confusing...

No, it's quite simple, really. One is meant to be the sensitive, caring modern man type in order that women can tell you you are everything they could want in a man, then laugh in your face at the very suggestion, take up with some so-called "real man", alpha type that treats them like dirt, then come crying to you about why he isn't like you.... Repeat cycle. I'd hate to sound bitter but I kind of am.

What I am getting at, though, is that you don't see articles in the press every other week about women having an identity crisis. What is it that makes the male identity crisis so apparent and the female identity crisis less so?

Because the patriarchy is still in charge, therefore it's all "oohhh! Women get to do everything" Poor, put upon men don't know who we are anymore!". Press needs a collective Wahmbulance, and fast.

 

[rue]

Wanna come do my ironing for me then. I just spent an hour on that chore! Then made supper, lunch for tomorrow, and did dishes!

You know I would if I lived there little brother

 

[LizzieMaine]

Because the patriarchy is still in charge, therefore it's all "oohhh! Women get to do everything" Poor, put upon men don't know who we are anymore!". Press needs a collective Wahmbulance, and fast.

Bingo. Which also explains the desperate need to define the Ideal Modern Woman by the porn-star standard. Take a look at any modern "men's magazine," or tune in any televised sports event and take a look at the bimbo sideline reporters. For that matter, read the checkout-line *women's* magazines and see how often women are defined by sex appeal and little else. And then keep telling yourself "but look how far we've come." Nertz.

Add to that an unhealthy cultural fixation on navel-gazing that's developed since the '70s, and you've got a recipe for unhappiness all around.

 

[scottyrocks]

And I have seen in many relationships, the woman is often harder on herself about the way she looks than the the man who loves her the way she is.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

And I have seen in many relationships, the woman is often harder on herself about the way she looks than the the man who loves her the way she is.

Which explains the oft-repeated question overheard in many a shopping venue: "Honey, do these pants make me look fat?"

 

[jamespowers]

No, it's quite simple, really. One is meant to be the sensitive, caring modern man type in order that women can tell you you are everything they could want in a man, then laugh in your face at the very suggestion, take up with some so-called "real man", alpha type that treats them like dirt, then come crying to you about why he isn't like you.... Repeat cycle. I'd hate to sound bitter but I kind of am.

It is interesting that you mention that. My quip to women when they complain about men is that they are responsible for whatever is the "man image" of the time. Men will be whatever women want. They have to if they want to get near them etc.. Years ago women held men to a higher standard than they do now. Lower standards give us the confused guy who hears that he should be Alan Alda but he sees Steve McQueen walking away with the girl.

 

[jamespowers]

Which explains the oft-repeated question overheard in many a shopping venue: "Honey, do these pants make me look fat?"

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