Amy Jeanne
Call Me a Cab
- Messages
- 2,858
- Location
- Colorado
I go through those phases too, Amy Jeanne...unfortunately I've struggled the last couple of years (PTSD and associated issues), and one side effect has been a measure of paranoia - a conviction that I'm irritating people, that they find me arrogant or pompous, that they might think I have too much money to splash around or any number of other things I worry about that might seem baseless and completely irrational to others. In this unfortunate state of mind - however much I tell myself I'm being melodramatic or just overly sensitive - I find it's better to pull away a bit rather than let my paranoia feed on itself. I don't like inflicting my state of mind on others, as it's difficult to reassure someone with irrational fears like I have. It is difficult to interact positively on a messageboard when you're combatting feelings of insecurity, worthlessness and the sneaking (if baseless) suspicion that you're disliked. That's not very constructive for anyone, and rather than make the issue one that others have to cope with or tiptoe around or get frustrated over, it's better to just quietly withdraw.
As a psychologist, I understand your plight. As a vintage lover and fellow woman -- pish posh!! There is no need to feel that way. We all like to show off things we're proud of. And on the other side, most people enjoy admiring others' awesome stuff -- especially if they are interested in it themselves. I say if you have the means, go for it!
Also, I can assure you -- you are not disliked. I've spoken privately with MANY ex-posters and your name has never come up in a negative way. Only positive, actually. The goodness, honest truth.