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Love at first sight? What Balloney!!...or, does it really happen?

Technonut

Practically Family
Messages
913
Location
West "By Gawd" Virginia
Hmmmm... Never noticed this thread until now.

Does love at first sight really happen? That would depend on the individual(s) experiencing it. Most adults should know the difference between lust and love. Most adults have been deeply in love at least once in their lives.

If an individual sees a person for the first time that evokes what they have experienced before as love, then love at first sight DOES happen. Who can say for certain otherwise?

I can say that I have experienced it before, and as few times as I have been in love in my life, I knew my feelings were genuine. Now having these feelings and attempting to build a relationship with the object of your affection can be a very difficult endeavor. Especially if the other person has only a passing attraction for you. ;) I made a fool of myself, just like the other few times I was in love. I was WAY too vocal with my feelings in too short of a time. I ended up very hurt, and feeling a great loss in my soul when the relationship ended that still remains with me.

I wish love at first sight would be nothing but baloney, but for me it is very real......
 

Jessica Reinard

Familiar Face
Messages
69
Location
London
Technonut said:
If an individual sees a person for the first time that evokes what they have experienced before as love, then love at first sight DOES happen. Who can say for certain otherwise?

I don't believe that one must have experienced love before, to fall victim to love at first sight, just because you have nothing to measure it against.

My first love was love at first sight.
 

Technonut

Practically Family
Messages
913
Location
West "By Gawd" Virginia
Jessica Reinard said:
I don't believe that one must have experienced love before, to fall victim to love at first sight, just because you have nothing to measure it against.

My first love was love at first sight.


I suppose I tend to be analytical about most things. Personally, I need something to measure against. I mean, how would I know if what I was feeling was not lust, obsession, or some other madness? [huh]

I do see your point Jessica Reinard.... As I did say, it would depend upon the individual(s) experiencing it. ;)
 

Zig2k143

Practically Family
Messages
507
Location
Drums, Pa
I don't believe in Love at first sight. But I do believe that two people can fall deeply in love in the first few weeks of knowning each other...
 

ScionPI2005

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,335
Location
Seattle, Washington
Zig2k143 said:
I don't believe in Love at first sight. But I do believe that two people can fall deeply in love in the first few weeks of knowning each other...

I do believe my Grandparents are an example of that. They met and dated for a couple of weeks; then got married. They've been married for over 60 years and are still together!!!

As for me, I'm not so sure about love at first sight. There have been a few occassions in my life so far where I have found I like someone within a very small time of knowing them. Usually though, this passes within a couple of days and I'm back to normal. Not sure if that counts as love at first sight; maybe it is just "liking at first sight" or something like that.
 

Daisy Buchanan

My Mail is Forwarded Here
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3,332
Location
BOSTON! LETS GO PATRIOTS!!!
Zig2k143 said:
I don't believe in Love at first sight. But I do believe that two people can fall deeply in love in the first few weeks of knowning each other...

This is possible, but how well can you really know someone after a few weeks.

My problem is, when people first meet, they are often on their best behavior. They tend to hide things from their partner, things that they wouldn't want to be seen until a commitment is made. I just don't think it's possible to really know someone after only a few weeks of knowing them.
I don't know, maybe I'm a pessimist, but I just don't trust a lot of people, and for good reason, too many people I have met along the way have proved themselves to be completely untrustworthy, fakes....[huh]
 

Zig2k143

Practically Family
Messages
507
Location
Drums, Pa
Daisy Buchanan said:
This is possible, but how well can you really know someone after a few weeks.

My problem is, when people first meet, they are often on their best behavior. They tend to hide things from their partner, things that they wouldn't want to be seen until a commitment is made. I just don't think it's possible to really know someone after only a few weeks of knowing them.
I don't know, maybe I'm a pessimist, but I just don't trust a lot of people, and for good reason, too many people I have met along the way have proved themselves to be completely untrustworthy, fakes....[huh]

Sure but sometimes you just feel it sometimes you just have faith because without putting yourself out to be hurt you'll never find true love... I realize a rock dosn't bleed and an island doesn't cry... But they also don't enjoy the pleasure of love in their hearts.

I'm not saying this happens often and many people go through a lifetime without ever feeling this.
 

Mildred

New in Town
Messages
36
Location
Hollywood, California
Love at first sight

Do I believe in it? Yes because it happened to me and I never thought it would. My friends knew I was very picky about who I would date and I was thinking I might end up single because no one interested me. I had my heart broken by a cad when I was in my early twenties and I thought he was the one I was suppose to marry. My girlfriend told me about a man she knew from work who was also into the vintage lifestyle but very shy and would I like to meet him? It turns out he had his heart broken by his first wife who was playing around behind his back.
The night I met him changed my life forever. She gave him my phone number and he rang me up asking me to dinner. When I saw him standing in my doorway.. I actually felt slightly sick and my heart was pounding. He was looking at me but not smiling. I just knew I was going to love him at that moment. We went out to dine, I was nervous so I just talked and talked, he said very little. I thought I had blown it with him because I gabbed so much.
It turns out that he knew that I was who he was looking for and was petrified.He thought he would never fall in love again after his divorce. We dated for a year and the whole time it was like a dream. I always thought of him and when he asked me to marry him-I was floating on clouds. We are very happy together and have a beautiful son.
 

Dr Doran

My Mail is Forwarded Here
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3,854
Location
Los Angeles
Mildred said:
Do I believe in it? Yes because it happened to me and I never thought it would. My friends knew I was very picky about who I would date and I was thinking I might end up single because no one interested me. I had my heart broken by a cad when I was in my early twenties and I thought he was the one I was suppose to marry. My girlfriend told me about a man she knew from work who was also into the vintage lifestyle but very shy and would I like to meet him? It turns out he had his heart broken by his first wife who was playing around behind his back.
The night I met him changed my life forever. She gave him my phone number and he rang me up asking me to dinner. When I saw him standing in my doorway.. I actually felt slightly sick and my heart was pounding. He was looking at me but not smiling. I just knew I was going to love him at that moment. We went out to dine, I was nervous so I just talked and talked, he said very little. I thought I had blown it with him because I gabbed so much.
It turns out that he knew that I was who he was looking for and was petrified.He thought he would never fall in love again after his divorce. We dated for a year and the whole time it was like a dream. I always thought of him and when he asked me to marry him-I was floating on clouds. We are very happy together and have a beautiful son.

Wow! That is really beautiful. I am very happy for you, dear Mildred. Can we see pictures? Especially of your child.
 

Martinis at 8

Practically Family
Messages
710
Location
Houston
Yeppers

She was in 10th grade, I was in 11th grade. Next January we will have been married 25 years. Summary of the experience:

The broken dates,
the endless waits,
the lovely loving and the hateful hates,
the conversations with the flying plates...
:D

M8
 

Dr Doran

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,854
Location
Los Angeles
Daisy Buchanan said:
This is possible, but how well can you really know someone after a few weeks.

My problem is, when people first meet, they are often on their best behavior. They tend to hide things from their partner, things that they wouldn't want to be seen until a commitment is made. I just don't think it's possible to really know someone after only a few weeks of knowing them.
I don't know, maybe I'm a pessimist, but I just don't trust a lot of people, and for good reason, too many people I have met along the way have proved themselves to be completely untrustworthy, fakes....[huh]

One thing that has worked for me is to know someone for a long time before getting involved with her, over the years when she is involved with another man and I am involved with another woman. That way there can be sometimes years of (moderate and restrained) mutual interest, (slight) anticipation, (mild) flirtation, etc. That way by the time she is free and you are free, you know her pretty well and know what to expect. You cannot easily get negatively surprised that way. In the long, long stretch of time before I got married, I kept the assumption with many attractive ladies that who knows, someday maybe something might happen ... it kept a little crackle going on to warm our days whenever we met, and it kept me watching out to see if they were of real quality. It also forced me to be a better person.
 

Dr Doran

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,854
Location
Los Angeles
Martinis at 8 said:
She was in 10th grade, I was in 11th grade. Next January we will have been married 25 years. Summary of the experience:

The broken dates,
the endless waits,
the lovely loving and the hateful hates,
the conversations with the flying plates...
:D

M8

That's great!
(no rhyme intended)
 
Daisy Buchanan said:
This is possible, but how well can you really know someone after a few weeks.

My problem is, when people first meet, they are often on their best behavior. They tend to hide things from their partner, things that they wouldn't want to be seen until a commitment is made. I just don't think it's possible to really know someone after only a few weeks of knowing them.
I don't know, maybe I'm a pessimist, but I just don't trust a lot of people, and for good reason, too many people I have met along the way have proved themselves to be completely untrustworthy, fakes....[huh]

This is part of why my entire strategy for dealing with others is to lay all my cards on the table up-front, including all the various issues with my character and background. (I can neither tell others that they can nor should trust me, only place my trust in them and ask for theirs in return.)

Love at first sight? Been there, done that, had my heart handed to me on a plate, but the two years in between were worth it...

Add me to the list of those who have some soft spot toward Miss Daisy, even though there's no way I could ever see it working out. (Too many irreconcilable issues on my end.)
 

dhermann1

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,154
Location
Da Bronx, NY, USA
Body language

What's really happening is this: within about 5 seconds of seeing somebody your brain is interpreting their unconscious body language. We don't realize what a huge amount of information we are conveying without realizing it. So we get all these subliminal signals and our neuroses say to us "Yeah, baby! Your neuroses fit in just right with my neuroses!" This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be a lifetime's work to learn to deal with this phenomenon creatively and sanely. The best book I ever read on the subject was "Getting the Love You Want, A Guide for Couples" by Harville Hendricks. We can inflict so much unnecessary misery on ourselves when we fall in love, but it doesn't have to be that way.
This sounds like an ad for the book, which it isn't. But having gotten to the age of 60 I've learned a few little things about life. This guy doesn't have all the answers, but he asks a lot of excellent questions.
So, the answer to the question is: yes! But it's important to understand what falling in love really is.
 

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