Let's Talk About The Fedora Lounge

[AlanC]

What exacty is meant by oversharing?
Too many photos? Gross topics? TMI of personal things? What? All of the above?
I can be quite the thread hog with photos... but I also like to see other's pics, the more the better I say.
Nikki

I don't think photos per se are the problem but rather what some might be showing in them. Gross topics and TMI are certainly on the list.

 

[Forgotten Man]

Tossin' in my two bits...

A lot of the new comers I feel haven’t a deep understanding why some of us love the golden age so much, what really happened then and what made it so appealing. I feel that it’s just a lack of understanding regarding antiques or history that some of our new comers feel threatened or shy because it can be overwhelming.

I had to pretty much teach my self, when I was young and getting into the history, I’d ask my grandparents about those years and I’d watch old movies, and really try and grasp what the era was about that I found interesting. I started to get into this stuff before there was an internet! I found a passion for real swing music of the 30’s and 40’s before the “Neo Swing” movement began!

I know people have many tastes other then history or antiques… and that’s ok. I think what management has in mind is trying to make this the place where to come and talk about our passions of the past… there are plenty of other places to talk about things like day-to-day life, or other hobbies or interests that are not related to the 20’s to the 50’s.

Everyone knows how I’m a purest, that’s how I am… go big or go home kind of mentality… but that’s me and for anyone who does want to know the real ins and outs of collecting antiques or old junk, just PM me, I’d be happy to help… as always.

 

[dollydaydream]

Humm, I thought the OB was a place where it was ok to talk 'off topic'.

I may be misunderstanding how social discourse works here, but don't conversations generally go a bit 'all over the place'? This is by far the nicest place I have been (I am yet to be sworn at or propositioned) and I like to think of the people here as new friends, but I can't help but think this whole thing reeks of fascism. People will now be worried about what they are saying (I know I shall be quieter now), and why should that be the case? As far as I am aware, noone is forced to sit and look at every single thread against their will (correct me if this is not the case). I browse through & find a topic I think sounds interesting, I certainly don't read every single one!

Perhaps this should be turned into an FAQ site rather than a messageboard so people are unable to go off topic?

Just my humble opinion (on topic).

 

[Martinis at 8]

The place where nobody tries to put the bite on you. Pull up a seat, relax and and talk about the finer things in life. Just mind your P's & Q's. Come on in. Everybody here is just like you...only more so.

That's what the intro says to the Observation Bar. Sounds nice, and it's pithy.

Then there is the politics banned sticky. Good on that one too.

So where are you going with this discussion now? Seems like we are getting diminishing returns. I think you got the gist of it early on. The rest of the stuff coming in just seems like apologia and sycophancy.

How 'bout just posting a rules sticky for the Observation Bar? Enforce them equally, and let's get on with it.

M8

 

[dollydaydream]

I find that quite offensive

 

[Jovan]

I agree. We've been sharing our thoughts on what you can do and what we think, and it seems a lot of us want to be able to keep posting about non-vintage things. I simply don't understand why some threads, like about greenhouse gases/hybrid cars, are removed and some like about the iPhone are allowed to continue. That thread was hardly "Golden Era" to me. And then the favouritism... regardless of who your friends are, you need to enforce the rules fairly. A lot of people are not going to get your reasons and see it as that. I don't think that would reflect well. I've had a few posts that were removed that were completely innocent or one part of it was somewhat objectionable. I suggested a beautiful woman of this forum smile in one thread -- that part was removed along with what I think was the objectionable part. No explanation given until I asked, and I was told it was "obvious." It was not completely. And then there are the posts from moderators that have piled on what I've said, and they've allowed long standing members to be outright nasty and patronising to me, similar to what M8 described earlier in this thread. Hardly fair.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but what I've seen in this thread so far is the moderators having made up their mind already. Almost all of our points have been refuted or argued against in some way, or ignored. So why this thread? I know the internet isn't a democracy, but it may be in your best interest to consider what we've all said so the community can keep thriving. I've recommended some of my friends who are just getting into hats, or suits, or other elements of style that are discussed here to lurk for a bit and see if they like it. They might not see this forum as a place where they can just sit back and relax and ask questions if we eliminate free discussion just because it "doesn't fit into the Golden Era." We like talking about the Golden Era. We also like talking about everyday things, because I'm pretty sure all of us don't quite LIVE AND BREATHE it.

 

[Feraud]

And then there are the posts from moderators that have piled on what I've said, and they've allowed long standing members to be outright nasty and patronising to me, similar to what M8 described earlier in this thread. Hardly fair.

You can hold it right there Jovan.
Just because two or three members express the same opinion that is not "piling on". Nor is it some sort of twisted idea of nepotism. Having people disagree with us is one price to pay for engaging in conversation. There is a lot to be learned if we care to open our minds when reading replies, especially from those who are older and more experienced when it comes to the subjects at hand.
You have done your own good share of being nasty and/or rude to another long standing member. You know exactly who I mean because you visit his site. I think you should drop that worn out line.

Posts or threads are removed and edited for good reason. Do not fault a bartender for not telling you immediately then complain about not liking the reason.

 

[dollydaydream]

I don't think there is any need for that kind of tone. This is not about who said what to who.

I don't think the comment about being older & wiser is needed either because that is not always the case. I think you're getting confused with respect, which I have always said, needs to be earned, by everyone and is not a god given right just because you're older and supposedly wiser.

I respect others views, but I have seen name calling go on, and it has been commented on previously. You can't have one rule for some and another rule for others which is what is actually happening.

 

[Miss Neecerie]

I don't think there is any need for that kind of tone. This is not about who said what to who.

Exactly. Its not about calling into discussion -every- decision made in the past, simply because they weren't decisions one liked.

We asked for opinions, we are listening and expressing our opinions, in return. Thats what a dialog is.

It bears re-stating, bartenders are each individuals and sometimes we express an -individual- opinion in a thread like this, without it being a -statement of law or fact-, but rather our personal opinion as a -member-.

 

[Feraud]

The place where nobody tries to put the bite on you. Pull up a seat, relax and and talk about the finer things in life. Just mind your P's & Q's. Come on in. Everybody here is just like you...only more so.

That's what the intro says to the Observation Bar. Sounds nice, and it's pithy.

Then there is the politics banned sticky. Good on that one too.

So where are you going with this discussion now? Seems like we are getting diminishing returns. I think you got the gist of it early on. The rest of the stuff coming in just seems like apologia and sycophancy.

How 'bout just posting a rules sticky for the Observation Bar? Enforce them equally, and let's get on with it.

M8

I sat back and knew this one was coming from you today.
After reading your problem #2 in this post I realized you had nothing to offer that would benefit the members of the Lounge in this discussion.
You chose to push some old grudge that only you remember to remedy a bruised ego. Why not get over it and move forward? We all have posts edited sometimes. It is really no big deal.

I don't think there is any need for that kind of tone. This is not about who said what to who.

I don't think the comment about being older & wiser is needed either because that is not always the case. I think you're getting confused with respect, which I have always said, needs to be earned, by everyone and is not a god given right just because you're older and supposedly wiser.

I respect others views, but I have seen name calling go on, and it has been commented on previously. You can't have one rule for some and another rule for others which is what is actually happening.

As a new member let me suggest you do not know the circumstances of the specific situation I am referring to. Jovan knows exactly what I mean. Telling me not to name call is mistaken.

 

[PolkaDotMeggie]

It is very disappointing to see the tension developing between members. I think it might be a good idea that everyone take a breather so things are not taken too personally.

 

[Atticus Finch]

It is very disappointing to see the tension developing between members. I think it might be a good idea that everyone take a breather so things are not taken too personally.

I respectfully second that motion.

Atticus

 

[dollydaydream]

As a new member let me suggest you do not know the circumstances of the specific situation I am referring to. Jovan knows exactly what I mean. Telling me not to name call is mistaken.

This may be true, but you seemed pretty agressive in your reply, which is not needed in any situation. I didn't say you were name-calling either.

This is ridiculous now. The bartenders are getting riled at replies that they asked for. Why give us the opportunity to speak up if you are just going to treat us without any respect?

It's funny, I had to write an essay about Weber & Foucaults versions of power this week. I now think of myself as enlightened lol

Plus, I agree with Meggie...

 

[CharlesB]

From what I've seen people would be well served to remember that while this is a great forum and we've all made friends, it's best to remember that its still the internet and really not that serious of business versus things in the bigger picture.

 

[warbird]

I don't think tension is developing. There are some members who have had tensions bubbling for some time and this is one way for them to get it out. Even families fight sometimes. This is nothing new and everyone will get past it and will be better for it. If some don't get over it they will leave.

 

[dollydaydream]

CharlesB; I agree, but people can still be civil, right?

 

[Jovan]

You can hold it right there Jovan.
Just because two or three members express the same opinion that is not "piling on". Nor is it some sort of twisted idea of nepotism. Having people disagree with us is one price to pay for engaging in conversation. There is a lot to be learned if we care to open our minds when reading replies, especially from those who are older and more experienced when it comes to the subjects at hand.
You have done your own good share of being nasty and/or rude to another long standing member. You know exactly who I mean because you visit his site. I think you should drop that worn out line.

Posts or threads are removed and edited for good reason. Do not fault a bartender for not telling you immediately then complain about not liking the reason.

Not referring to several people having the same opinion. I can understand that, and appreciate the insight. But when the people come off as patronising, purposely or not, I tend to get offended by it. I know we're all not perfect, but when people are moderators, I believe they should set an example, not get into the fray and do the same as other members. [huh] I'm not trying to stir up controversy, I'm just telling the moderators what I have observed and what my opinion is -- so please don't take offence.

Me and the member you refer to settled our differences in private, and I have done the same with other members things got nasty with, or at least attempted as much.

 

[CharlesB]

CharlesB; I agree, but people can still be civil, right?

civility is why we are men and not monkeys my sweet

 

[warbird]

This may be true, but you seemed pretty agressive in your reply, which is not needed in any situation. I didn't say you were name-calling either.

This is ridiculous now. The bartenders are getting riled at replies that they asked for. Why give us the opportunity to speak up if you are just going to treat us without any respect?

It's funny, I had to write an essay about Weber & Foucaults versions of power this week. I now think of myself as enlightened lol

Plus, I agree with Meggie...

I think Feraud's point is 1) This was a thread started about certain points in the OB, not a thread to air every grievance. Being new you do not know the past occurrences between these or other members and not to be mean, but sometimes chastizing a bartender for issues which have gone way back is way out of line.

Feraud I do think you were a bit harsh to Martini. Afterall he did beg off on airing his grievance and was pushed into posting. I understand that you feel it was simply airing a grievance of the past, however everyone did push Martini to air in public. Though I think martini you'd agree that you couldn't wait to be goaded into posting your grievance.

Jovan, you talk about piling on. My friend I think that's just what you are doing to the mods now, piling on. You saw a chance to air a grudge from the past because one was aired and you thought great chance to pile on. No one has quit this forum more than you have. You run off crying about one insult or other then run back. You have been given a lot of waggle room due to your excessive emotional nature and youthful immaturity.

 

[Feraud]

Not referring to several people having the same opinion. I can understand that, and appreciate the insight. But when the people come off as patronising, purposely or not, I tend to get offended by it. I know we're all not perfect, but when people are moderators, I believe they should set an example, not get into the fray and do the same as other members. [huh] I'm not trying to stir up controversy, I'm just telling the moderators what I have observed -- so please don't take offence.

Me and the member you refer to settled our differences in private, and I have done the same with other members things got nasty with, or at least attempted as much.

Fair enough. If you and the other members have resolved any problems then it need not be referred to in these types of discussions. The issue is over.

As for moderator behavior I think it needs to be realized that we are all human. We have opinions, misread posts, reply in haste, get bored, etc. just like everyone else.

This thread was never meant to be a member versus moderator thread. From my perspective it is not. It was also not to point fingers but discuss the issue at hand, inform everyone of what is happening, and move forward together in hopes of attracting another 7800+ members to the place.