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Ladies, what is the ideal male for you?

The Shirt

Practically Family
Messages
852
Location
Minneapolis
I want a fella much like my dad. Now there's an ideal that will be impossible. But I see little bits of him still in this world, and quite a bit of him in my fella.
 

Lotta Little

One of the Regulars
Messages
114
Location
That Toddlin' Town
Good character, specifically kindness. Can't tell you how many jerks I've dated who quickly point out "But I'd never do/say that to YOU!" when I object to their low behavior. Also, a sense of humor. I like to joke around, and I don't like to be answered by the chirping of crickets. (I once had a first date say to me "I knew that was a joke, I just didn't think it was funny." Also the last date.)
 

Story

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,056
Location
Home
Lily Powers said:
5. It is important that these four men never meet.:cool:

Keyboard, meet coffee spray.
rofl.gif
 

Laura Chase

One Too Many
Messages
1,354
Location
Copenhagen, Denmark
Marc Chevalier said:
Someone already did, thank goodness. (See below.)

Goes without saying, yes?


.

What, was it bad to be so direct? lol

And I don't know, I don't think it quite goes without saying, for some people it isn't that important, for other people it's one of the most important things...
 

Foofoogal

Banned
Messages
4,884
Location
Vintage Land
And I don't know, I don't think it quite goes without saying, for some people it isn't that important, for other people it's one of the most important things...

It was said once it cannot make a marriage but can definitely break one. Food for thought. ;)
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
25,074
Location
London, UK
irb said:
intelligence (too much or too little),

Now there (emphasis added) is one attitude, quite common among the male of your human species, that I could simply never fathom....

pigeon toe said:
Things that will win a dude brownie points with me, but aren't necessary, include:

- really into music
- artistic or musically talented
- handsome!
- more outgoing than introverted
- non-religious

Good for you for being upfront about that. I've been turned down in the past for being religious; the only thing I really minded (cause let's face it, something like that raises major compatability issues) was that the 'lady' concerned didn't have the decency to be honest about it.
 

Viola

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,469
Location
NSW, AUS
Religious compatibility is very important for long-term things. I don't necessarily mean agreement (definitely not in my case, which will be an intermarriage) but mutual respect and some level of value-agreement would seem to me to be vital, unless it's all about some sort of crazy faux-royal political alignment or something.

As far as my guy my only complaint at the moment is how can a bright and witty man not know his suit size? Or any of his sizes? How does he dress himself? [huh] Oh well. I never listed "clotheshorse" as a mandatory requirement. lol
 

Maj.Nick Danger

I'll Lock Up
Messages
4,469
Location
Behind the 8 ball,..
Caity Lynn said:
If I can't live with someone as they are, I'm not going to try to change them. Just let them be as they are, and if as they isn't right for you, let it be. I absolutely HATE when people try to change others. I'd rather live alone and have great friends. Than live with someone who will never understand that hidden resentment.
Yes! The single most important ingredient to making a relationship, "work" The "ideal" mate for anyone is just simply someone that we like just as they are, that likes us back without having to change anything at all about each other. We often have preconceived notions as to our ideal, but in all my experience, those notions are always tossed out the window anyway.:rolleyes:
I have seen so many people that try to "work" at relationships that will never be mutually satisfying. It never works as they had planned, and I think partially explains our enormous divorce rate.:(
A real love relationship should just be, it should not be forced in any way because of insecurity and a fear of being alone.So we must be completely honest with ourselves.
In the immortal words of Yoda,..."There is no try,...just do.
 

Rachael

A-List Customer
Messages
465
Location
Stumptown West
Viola said:
Religious compatibility is very important for long-term things. I don't necessarily mean agreement (definitely not in my case, which will be an intermarriage) but mutual respect and some level of value-agreement

I couldn't agree more. I used to think that it bothered that my ex did not share my religious beliefs, but it was just a matter of honesty and respect. It was obvious that he gave lip-service to what I believed as a means to and end. This showed disrespect to my faith as well as to me personally.

He is no end of annoyed that I am currently blissfully cohabitating with an atheist, but that was included in the labeling from day one and I really like the whole package. We do share the same core values, which is the important stuff. Neither of us disrespects nor attempts to persuade the other, and we get along swimmingly.

In short, no matter what you may think is a woman's ideal, just be you. Because if you do end up dating more than twice eventually she will figure out who you are. And if it's something other than who you claimed to be, she is not going to be happy.
 

just_me

Practically Family
Messages
723
Location
Florida
Besides a lot of the points already made, I will add politics. I would have a hard time being in a relationship with someone whose politics were in direct contrast to my own. I don't know how James Carville and his wife Mary Matalin have stayed together without one killing the other. lol
 

LouieGee

New in Town
Messages
32
Location
UK
Helysoune said:
This one, right here:

DSC03384.jpg


I snapped this pic of Kevin and his grandma yesterday after Easter lunch here at our house. A bit about my mister...he's a mechanic by trade and Irish by blood. A Star Wars nerd of a caliber comparable to me (we actually met online playing a SW game), he's 6'2" tall and tops me when I'm in heels. He's strong from heavy work and cuddly from the soft spot in his heart he doesn't hide nearly as well as he thinks he does. He looks incredible in a suit and is gifted with a fittingly silver tongue and quick wit. He's tickled pink that I keep him well-fed with homemade goodies and loves when I'm in full on vintage mode.

He sounds like such a nice guy! You hang on to him - he's a definite keeper! :)
 

Viola

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,469
Location
NSW, AUS
Oh, man, politics. My guy and I are on really different sides of a LOT of things... it does keep things interesting. Sometimes we blow each others' minds though.

And I think our families, each knowing how stubborn and strident their respective kid can be, are a little bemused at how contrasting we are on political stuff.
 

pigeon toe

One Too Many
Messages
1,328
Location
los angeles, ca
Edward said:
Good for you for being upfront about that. I've been turned down in the past for being religious; the only thing I really minded (cause let's face it, something like that raises major compatability issues) was that the 'lady' concerned didn't have the decency to be honest about it.

I'm glad you weren't offended by my honesty! A certain degree of religiousness/spirituality doesn't interfere in my ability to connect with someone at all. Going to church on Easter with my ex was no big deal to me. But religion is really not my thing in the slighest, so if it's a huge part of someone's life, we'd probably have a hard time reconciling those differences.

I think it's just as important to know who YOU are, not just who you want. This is a pretty good example of that. I know I'd make a terrible partner to someone who is very religious, so it's something I like to keep in mind when checking my compatibility with others.
 

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