Ladies and Gentleman, how do you party?

[Marzena]

I am new here and perhaps this has been discussed before, but I could not find it. I am probably more of a lifestyle admirer than old artifacts collector, and I especially try and preserve in my life the social side of the Golden Era. The art of entertaining, giving parties, hosting, is increasingly becoming lost. I know why, of course - it is just too difficult to cultivate in our times of rush, small living spaces, no help available on hand to cook, serve and clean the table. Still, giving it up and just resigning oneself to disposable paper plates and home delivered pizza seems a very, very sad alternative to civilised get togethers.

So, could I ask for your experiences of social entertainment? What do you do to entertain vintage style? Do you give dinner parties? Buffets? Theme parties at home? Dances, perhaps, even? I would love to hear of your skills and achievements in that department and hope to profit and emulate.

 

[Deco-Doll-1928]

I have to be frank that I have never thrown a party myself, but I can give suggestions.

I think having people dress up in vintage is a great idea, but please consider your guests budgets and ability to get the clothes. While doing research for vintage clothes myself on the internet, I found several hits for people who were confused what to buy and wear to a vintage themed party. So for some people, buying vintage or vintage style can be a bit intimidating. I think what might help is to narrow down your theme. So for an example, you can have a party based on the TV show like Mad Men (1960s) or Boardwalk Empire (1920s).

I went to the Ticket to the Twenties event back in September and I think what made that event so popular and such a success (despite it being free--lol!) is that there were a lot of activities for everyone to do. So for a party, I would suggest maybe a "vintage" game from the decade you are trying to throw a party for. Also, is your party going to have children? Consider a nice fun activity for them to do.

Having a dance floor and music is a must at a party.

As for food, try to have as many options available for your guests. So you can have healthy choices and comfort food. It was always a struggle for me sometimes at a party when I try to find food that fits with my diet. Especially if a person is a vegetarian, it makes it so much harder too.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

BTW, welcome to the Lounge.

 

[Marzena]

Thank you Deco-Doll, for the welcome as well as for ideas. This is very ambitious stuff, although I may eventually take a plunge and do exactly what you suggest.
For now, I guess, I was interested in smaller touches, things you could easily do to add some vintage feel to having people over.
Any experiences to share?

 

[Deco-Doll-1928]

Some vintage Ladies magazines might help with things like setting up a table and decorations around the home.

Your party doesn't have to be big and expensive. Work with something similar, but more in your budget.

 

[Angus Forbes]

Hi, Marzena. We enjoy giving frequent dinners for our friends, typically in small groups (4-8 people). Mostly, the food is like a good, traditional family dinner, with drinks beforehand, decent wine with the meal, and a home made layer cake or something similar afterward. Just a relaxing evening, visiting with friends, and enjoying a good dinner.

I am very fortunate in that my wife has a talent for doing this (I try to help in my own ham-handed way, and do some of the clean-up). Still, it's a lot of work for her. Also, we are fortunate to have a rather large, formal dining room and adequate finances.

But as deco-doll just mentioned, there's no need to be expensive or complicated. Sometimes having things "over the top" detracts from the enjoyment of the evening. I fondly remember many dinners hosted by friends when I was a post-graduate student forty years ago that were really simple and a great deal of fun.

I personally would not worry too much about golden-era clothing and the like. The good part, for us, is carrying on the tradition itself. However, we do occasionally play recordings of big-band-era music in the background (for example, Tommy Dorsey, Glen Miller, Benny Goodman, and their peers).

You're on the right track -- keep up the good work!

 

[Marzena]

Hello, Angus! Lovely to hear from someone who likes to do home entertaining in the old spirit. I somehow thought for a moment that not many Loungers were interested enough in this notion to share their experiences. (?)

Like your wife, I do enjoy giving parties very much . From my earliest years my Mom would arrange terrific birthday parties for her two girls, with fancy food, decorations and colourful hat or flowery band for each guest, as well as little gifts for winners in the games and competitions she ingenously prepared. She made them all herself, the night before the party. We were instructed in detail about duties of a hostess from the age of six (not that we were that much good, hehe) .

You are right - it is not about getting very expensive or complicated, but about the spirit of shared fun. Trouble is, I usually get carried away. Prepare complicated food, long menus, go for decorations and special effects and then am usually exhausted before the first guest even shows his face. That is why I thought it would be a good idea to ask what others do, to remain in the happy medium. Your idea of a simple dinner party is very good and I would like to follow on it. In Poland there is no tradition of Thanksgiving, but the idea appeals to me very much. A small Thanksgiving dinner, then. Like for 7 people, all very good conversationalists?
Any good pointers?

 

[LizzieMaine]

Back when I had the room to entertain, I used to invite people over for Thanksgiving who had no place else to go -- people I knew from work, or from around town, or wherever. We ended up with a highly random group of people from different backgrounds which always made for interesting conversation. And they always got a good meal instead of spending the holiday eating take-out Chinese food.

That's one key to a good party, I think -- people who you wouldn't expect to bring together, brought together.

 

[Marzena]

How kind! I bet you all had a good time!

 

[AtomicEraTom]

My parties are fairly simple. I have a few friends over, sit on the couch, have some drinks and chit-chat. I usually have food out. I'll put on the TV or let my guests shuffle through my vinyls for something they may like.

My big event every year is the Super Bowl. I stock up with beer and snacks and we all gather around the ol' console TV and enjoy. Last year was great with our own Green Bay Packers winning!

 

[sheeplady]

I like to throw dinner parties. I actually wish I knew more people who enjoyed dinner parties, because I love to host.

The four things I would recommend (based upon my successes and failures) are:
1. Lay out light snacks (finger foods) for people to eat when they arrive. Things that keep well and can be prepared the day before or even a few days ahead. Veggies, crackers, cheese, dips, etc. I put these things right on the serving plates and wrap them in plastic wrap a day or two ahead, and store them in the fridge or on the serving buffet (depending upon if they are perishable). This way, it takes the stress off getting dinner on the table. I lay these out in the living room on a small table (with plates, drinks, and napkins) so that people aren't crowding around the dining room when I am trying to get the food out.

2. I like dishes and desserts that can be baked in the oven. I often make them ahead- the day before- and then just pop them in the oven to warm up. That way you can be out enjoying your guests and not trapped in the kitchen over the stove. You also can get rid of the dirty dishes. Your guests are going to end up in the kitchen, and nobody likes a heap of dirty pots and pans. I always serve cold or room temp desserts, which I make and decorate the day before if not earlier. I normally serve desserts in the living room.

3. Set the table and get out all your serving pieces the day before or even sooner if possible. This means you just drop the food into the serving pieces. I have a small dining room, so for a small party everything is served "family style" (on platters and bowls which are passed and the guests serve themselves), rather than plated or on a buffet. Over 10 we do a buffet in the kitchen, dining room, or living room, because not everyone fits at the table.

4. Pick up a copy of Emily Post's books on entertaining. A lot of it is too formal for today (how to do a dinner with a servant or more than one) but it has lots of helpful tips for making your guests feel welcome, such as if only one guest takes seconds, the hostess should take a small amount of the same dish too so the guest does not feel outcast.

 

[Steven180]

This is a good subject to discuss...unfortunately, as you inferred, this doesn’t happen as much as it probably should anymore. An unfortunate loss to fast times.

We do try to have friends over a few times a year, and act that is well reciprocated too. My wife is an incredible cook so her cuisine is what I attribute our success to. However, it does seem that it is so nice for everyone to slow down, in a home, and have friends to engage in some good old fashioned conversation.

Starting with hors d'oeuvre while finishing up dinner always finds people in the kitchen where it is much less formal and easier to kick off conversations and get the evening started. Movement to the dinner table is just natural after that and discussions are easily carried.

It helps too that my wife is the people person while I am a little more of an introvert.

I think music is important to these things too, it sets or maintains the tone and provides a relaxing environment. I try either some 40s or light jazz depending on how the evening is going.

Anyone want some dinner?
M.

 

[Marzena]

I like to throw dinner parties. I actually wish I knew more people who enjoyed dinner parties, because I love to host.

The four things I would recommend (based upon my successes and failures) are:
1. Lay out light snacks (finger foods) for people to eat when they arrive. Things that keep well and can be prepared the day before or even a few days ahead. Veggies, crackers, cheese, dips, etc. I put these things right on the serving plates and wrap them in plastic wrap a day or two ahead, and store them in the fridge or on the serving buffet (depending upon if they are perishable). This way, it takes the stress off getting dinner on the table. I lay these out in the living room on a small table (with plates, drinks, and napkins) so that people aren't crowding around the dining room when I am trying to get the food out.

2. I like dishes and desserts that can be baked in the oven. I often make them ahead- the day before- and then just pop them in the oven to warm up. That way you can be out enjoying your guests and not trapped in the kitchen over the stove. You also can get rid of the dirty dishes. Your guests are going to end up in the kitchen, and nobody likes a heap of dirty pots and pans. I always serve cold or room temp desserts, which I make and decorate the day before if not earlier. I normally serve desserts in the living room.

3. Set the table and get out all your serving pieces the day before or even sooner if possible. This means you just drop the food into the serving pieces. I have a small dining room, so for a small party everything is served "family style" (on platters and bowls which are passed and the guests serve themselves), rather than plated or on a buffet. Over 10 we do a buffet in the kitchen, dining room, or living room, because not everyone fits at the table.

4. Pick up a copy of Emily Post's books on entertaining. A lot of it is too formal for today (how to do a dinner with a servant or more than one) but it has lots of helpful tips for making your guests feel welcome, such as if only one guest takes seconds, the hostess should take a small amount of the same dish too so the guest does not feel outcast.

Thank you sheeplady, very much to the point. I especially like what youi said about setting the table much earlier, to avoid crowding everything in the same time space.
Emily Post is indeed a mine of accute observation. I read once her Etiquette - did she do a special thing on entertaining?

Steven180 - you are so right, we do not do those things as often as we might like. I had long periods of doing next to nothing, when the children were younger, we had a very small appartment and no car which would ease the shopping. There really is a limit of discomfort you would be prepared to go to in order to have guests over. On the other hand, the good feeling of "having a life" that a good party generates is beyond words.

Do you have memories of a particularly satisfying or interesting party you gave or went to? Would you like to share?