is silence a valuable form of feedback?

[eClairvaux]

Thanks for your feedback, I gather it is best to stick to my current practice. Which doesn't mean I detest all looks that I don't comment on

 

[PrettySquareGal]

I have learned that when people state their opinion about YOU, they are still making a statement about THEIR preferences and perspective which I may or may not respect. Also, the way it is stated reveals more about the speaker than the recipient of the feedback. In other words, a rude person is showing themselves to be lacking in social graces and sensitivity as opposed to the recipient not being worthy of a respectful delivery. Even self-proclaimed or "recognized" "experts" still are subjective. That doesn't mean any feedback that's less than flattering should be discarded, but it's best to keep it in the proper context.

 

[John in Covina]

One of the things that also should happen if the person should post a picture in a thread and ask "what do you think?" Instead of jumping up with comments that are negative ask Qualifying questions if they haven't explained much about the look they are going after.

I think also that it is really great when you can come up with a picture of what you are trying to express along the lines of "If you like the 30's look here is a great picture of Fed Astaire in a really great suit that I think really shows the 30's look really well!" This way you don't rip on someone but express a shared enthusiasm and you can give an example of what you look for in a 30's look. It is similar to some threads where someone is looking for a particular item or a style and others post pictures of what they have, photos of the item from the period or photos and sources like from the web.

 

[ButteMT61]

I have learned that when people state their opinion about YOU, they are still making a statement about THEIR preferences and perspective which I may or may not respect. Also, the way it is stated reveals more about the speaker than the recipient of the feedback. In other words, a rude person is showing themselves to be lacking in social graces and sensitivity as opposed to the recipient not being worthy of a respectful delivery. Even self-proclaimed or "recognized" "experts" still are subjective. That doesn't mean any feedback that's less than flattering should be discarded, but it's best to keep it in the proper context.

Good post. What I also notice is occasional over the top flattery. Not sure which I'd prefer to be honest. If I ask the collective here for opinions, I'd prefer tastefully delivered honesty as opposed to "you/it look fantastic" whEn I/it doesn't

 

[PrettySquareGal]

Good post. What I also notice is occasional over the top flattery. Not sure which I'd prefer to be honest. If I ask the collective here for opinions, I'd prefer tastefully delivered honesty as opposed to "you/it look fantastic" whEn I/it doesn't

Thank you. And I'm with you. If I was to post a picture and ask for feedback, I would prefer the same as you do.

 

[Forrest]

Good topic. I think that if someone is posting and asks for feedback, it should be given honestly and constructively. However, if a new member is posting an introductory message and is excited about something that many veterans around here think is quite ghastly, I would think a kind hello and some encouraging words are all that is needed. With a small amount of time and research, that wool fedora and mall jacket will be cast aside for somethings that are a little more refined. But, we all had to start somewhere!

 

[ButteMT61]

Good topic. I think that if someone is posting and asks for feedback, it should be given honestly and constructively. However, if a new member is posting an introductory message and is excited about something that many veterans around here think is quite ghastly, I would think a kind hello and some encouraging words are all that is needed. With a small amount of time and research, that wool fedora and mall jacket will be cast aside for somethings that are a little more refined. But, we all had to start somewhere!

Indeed. I remember when I got started with "real" watches. Boy, you learn quickly. Same with motorcycles and other things I've grown to love and know a bit about. Being honest does not have to equate to being mean or rude. There's people behind every post. It's best to remember that.

 

[fishmeok]

Indeed. I remember when I got started with "real" watches. Boy, you learn quickly. Same with motorcycles and other things I've grown to love and know a bit about. Being honest does not have to equate to being mean or rude. There's people behind every post. It's best to remember that.

Just a quick thought to add- for many of us these jackets are EXPENSIVE in either dollar amount, or labor and time, and usually both. We are heavily invested emotionally and monetarily in these things, probably more than most of us should be (I know I am). I think it's important to remember that investment when we post and critique.

Cheers
Mark

 

[alfyman]

I like to start threads with some positive feedback just to see what happends, If there is too much negativity then I would probably consider that advice, and go with the non-cypber view, then it may bring sites like this down, kind of like some other sites, but I would rather hear positive and contructive things. But then again I just need attention wherever I can get it.....thanks, My jacket cost Me 900 pounds... I love it...

 

[Bebop]

I enjoy any and all type of feedback. I'm not easily offended by answers to questions I asked on an internet forum. If you think it's ugly and I look like a jerk, I want to know. I take what someone on an internet forum thinks about my jacket or shoes with a grain of salt. I'll decide if it's worth heeding your advice by checking out your history and prior posts. I know most people post because they are proud of what they look like even if they title the thread "what do you think" so if I think you just can't pull off that hat or you look like someone that escaped from a mental hospital in that hairstyle, I do not comment because I don't enjoy hurting people's feelings.

.....and the watch forums are really bad when it comes to giving honest opinions. Most there act like you are insulting their mother by telling them their gigantic, red and purple watch looks silly.

 

[Hemingway Jones]

Be delicate, constructive, and supportive. My Dad used to say, "You can say anything to someone as long as you smile," so smile through your writing, support them in their efforts, and gently guide them toward doing better, or offer some criticism with some self-depricating humor. This is the ideal I strive for.

 

[Bebop]

"You can say anything to someone as long as you smile," so smile through your writing, support them in their efforts, and gently guide them toward doing better, or offer some criticism with some self-depricating humor. This is the ideal I strive for.

I think that is the car salesman and politicians way of dealing with people. Say what you want as long as you smile.

 

[John in Covina]

Just a quick thought to add- for many of us these jackets are EXPENSIVE in either dollar amount, or labor and time, and usually both. We are heavily invested emotionally and monetarily in these things, probably more than most of us should be (I know I am). I think it's important to remember that investment when we post and critique. Cheers, Mark

That is very true!

 

[ButteMT61]

I enjoy any and all type of feedback. I'm not easily offended by answers to questions I asked on an internet forum. If you think it's ugly and I look like a jerk, I want to know. I take what someone on an internet forum thinks about my jacket or shoes with a grain of salt. I'll decide if it's worth heeding your advice by checking out your history and prior posts. I know most people post because they are proud of what they look like even if they title the thread "what do you think" so if I think you just can't pull off that hat or you look like someone that escaped from a mental hospital in that hairstyle, I do not comment because I don't enjoy hurting people's feelings.

.....and the watch forums are really bad when it comes to giving honest opinions. Most there act like you are insulting their mother by telling them their gigantic, red and purple watch looks silly.

Pardon me? That watch looks great on me!!!

 

[Johnnynotoes]

Intuition. Use it for good my sons. And beware the jubjub bird...

 

[Lonny]

I think the Fedora Lounge is one of the better style forums I've seen, it is certainly more of a warm community, for instance, I saw this one forum where everybody is always so rude to each other, constantly bashing style choices which aren't deemed "gangsta". I thought it was funny, but certainly not a good forum to be a part of haha.
FL on the other hand is great, everybody is kind even in criticism.

 

[Foofoogal]

Wouldn't it be "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" somewhat.
Personally some do not like to be patronized but as this is a world wide forum what is very popular or seems great to one person would look hideous to others.
A bit of helpful criticism if they seem to genuinely ask for it but "fabulous" if they just want to show their new duds IMHO. I also love creativity.
Some I am sure are purists and that is fine as every field of collecting has purist.
Vaseline glass people are a perfect example for instance.